Friends With Benefits

by Lisa Swift

  ‘A new boyfriend already!’ Allegra said. ‘You certainly don’t waste any time, Jan. When did your divorce come through?’

  ‘Er, it didn’t,’ Lexie said, shooting Theo a look. ‘Daryl and me are still waiting for our required separation period to be up.’

  ‘Well, nothing like lining up the next one while you’re waiting, I suppose.’ She let go of Theo’s hand, which she’d held on to rather longer than was necessary. ‘I’d better get on. It’s been wonderful to catch up though. Listen, are the two of you busy tomorrow evening?’

  ‘Yes,’ Lexie said.

  ‘That’s a shame. A few of us Kingsway survivors and our plus-ones were planning a little get-together over in Hebden Bridge, sort of a reunion. It would’ve been lovely to have you along, Jan. And Theo too, of course.’

  ‘Well we’re busy, so…’

  ‘But it’s nothing we couldn’t put off,’ Theo said with another charm-dripping smile. ‘We’d love to go, wouldn’t we, Lex? We can always do that thing we were going to do another day.’

  She glared at him. ‘Yes. Thanks for reminding me, Theo. Actually I think that thing we were going to do might be put off for a good while.’

  ‘Excellent. I’ll send you the event link on Facebook.’ Allegra did the air-kiss thing again. ‘See you both tomorrow.’

  ‘What the hell did you tell her you were my boyfriend for?’ Lexie hissed when she’d gone.

  ‘Well, because she was being all sneery and condescending at you and it was pissing me off. Besides, she fancied me. I wanted her to think you had life all sewn up.’

  She snorted. ‘Oh, right. With a fine piece of eye candy like you on my arm, you mean?’

  ‘I’m far too modest to phrase it like that. But yes.’

  ‘Did you have to agree to this bloody school reunion?’ Lexie asked as they carried on walking.

  He shrugged. ‘It’ll be good for you. You ought to face them and show them up for being a bunch of up-themselves wankers. I hate to think of them sneering behind your back when you could turn up like Scarlett O’Hara in a tarty red dress and have a roomful of jaws hit the floor.’

  ‘You might’ve asked if that was what I wanted first.’

  He guided her arm through his again. ‘Oh come on, you’ll enjoy it. Neither of us are on the teatime shift tomorrow; we can make an afternoon of it. Have a meal in one of the pubs, drop in on my mum. You were the one who said we ought to do more mate stuff together instead of just shagging all the time. Besides, I want to meet these bellends you went to school with.’

  ‘All right, fine. I’ll have to check Connor’s going to be OK on his own though.’

  ‘He’s nearly fifteen, Lex. He’s not going to start playing with matches and running with scissors the second you leave him alone for a night.’ He glanced sideways at her. ‘What was all that Jan business, by the way?’

  She flushed. ‘Oh. That. It’s an old nickname from school.’

  ‘Where does it come from?’

  ‘Grease. You remember Jan, from the Pink Ladies? She was the chubby one with buck teeth. Allegra used to say I looked like her during my braces and puppy fat phase, and even when they were long gone she refused to stop using it. I wish she’d bloody give over with it now, it’s been sixteen years. Sort of spoils the all-friends-now vibe she tries so hard to push whenever I see her.’

  ‘It was a bit Mean Girls, your school, wasn’t it?’

  She snorted. ‘Try Heathers. That place was murder.’

  He squeezed her arm. ‘Well, sod the lot of them, love. Tomorrow night we’re going to march into this reunion and by the time we leave, every stinking one of them will wish they could be Lexie Whittle.’

  Chapter Seventeen

  By the time they got back to Lexie’s place, they were fully laden with bags of comic books, superhero merch and video games, ready for Connor’s fifteenth birthday the following month. As soon as Lexie had unlocked the door, Theo guided her inside and pressed her up against the wall for a deep kiss.

  ‘I’ve been dying to do that all afternoon,’ he whispered.

  ‘Just that?’

  ‘No. Not just that. Come on, let’s go upstairs.’

  Lexie jumped at the sound of a throat clearing behind them.

  ‘Having fun?’ Tonya asked.

  She wriggled out of Theo’s arms.

  ‘What the hell are you doing here?’ she demanded. ‘I thought you were on a cruise.’

  ‘I got back this morning. What, are you not pleased to see me?’

  Lexie shook her head. ‘Seriously, why are people always just walking into my house? I need to stop giving you all emergency keys.’

  ‘I brought this to show you,’ Tonya said, waggling a rolled-up banner at them. ‘Made it for us while I was out on the open seas. For the procession.’ She unfurled it to unveil the embroidered slogan GIVE PEACE A CHANCE with a white dove motif.

  ‘How many times, Ton? It’s a forties festival, not a sixties festival. You’re not re-enacting a CND march.’

  ‘It’s just as appropriate for the Second World War as the Cold War. Wherever there’s fighting, there are people campaigning for peace. Plus I just adore seeing Ryan’s face go that lovely shade of puce.’ She glanced at Theo, who was looking a bit dazed. ‘Well, Lexie, I was going to invite you out for afternoon tea, but it looks like you’ve made more energetic plans.’

  ‘You’d better go, Teddy,’ Lexie said in a low voice. ‘Me and her ought to talk. Call me later, all right?’

  ‘Right. OK.’ He leaned forward to kiss her cheek, then clocked Tonya’s grin and thought better of it. ‘See you then, ladies.’

  ‘Excellent,’ Tonya said when he’d gone. ‘Now we can have a lovely girly afternoon. I’m just desperate to take you to this little tearoom I’ve discovered. We’ll get a taxi.’

  ‘It’s all right, I can drive us.’

  ‘Absolutely not. I want you completely relaxed, so no driving today.’

  * * *

  Lexie frowned when the taxi dropped them off at their destination.

  ‘Ton?’

  ‘Hmm?’

  ‘Are you sure this is a tearoom?’

  ‘Of course, my love.’

  ‘Only it says “cocktail bar” on the sign.’

  ‘Well, yes, but they do teas as well. There’s a lovely iced version, I think it’s from Long Island. Come on, my treat.’

  Lexie shook her head as they entered and approached the bar. ‘I should’ve known to be suspicious when you insisted on the taxi.’ She hopped up onto a stool. ‘Actually, no. I should’ve known to be suspicious when it was you who suggested it.’

  ‘Yes you should. I’m disappointed in you, Lexie.’ Tonya picked up a menu. ‘Oooh, fish bowls! Shall we?’

  ‘Tonya, honestly, I can’t. I have to make Connor’s tea, I can’t go back home shit-faced from day-drinking.’

  ‘Oh, just give him a fish-finger sandwich or something.’

  Lexie was eventually able to negotiate for the least alcoholic drink on the menu, some sort of tropical mimosa, while Tonya ordered herself a large mojito.

  ‘Go on then, out with it,’ Lexie said when they’d both been served.

  ‘Out with what, darling?’

  ‘Aren’t you going to interrogate me about what’s going on with Theo?’

  ‘Oh, that. No, I already knew about that.’

  Lexie blinked. ‘Did you? How?’

  Tonya shrugged. ‘It’s obvious to anyone who isn’t blind that you’re sleeping together. I’ve known for ages.’

  ‘I don’t know why we don’t just start publishing a bloody newsletter,’ Lexie muttered.

  ‘Just casual, I’m assuming?’

  ‘Yes. Nothing serious, just… well, you know. You don’t mind, do you?’

  ‘We all have an itch to scratch sometimes.’ She took a dainty draw on her mojito that nevertheless managed to drain half the glass in one go. ‘Does Connor know?’

  ‘Yes, he knows. He’s been very matur
e about it actually. I was impressed.’ Lexie sipped her cocktail, which was actually just a fancier-sounding Buck’s Fizz: champagne and fruit juice.

  ‘Well if it’s all right by him, I don’t see why it shouldn’t be all right by me. I certainly don’t think you owe his father anything.’ She glanced at Lexie’s worried face and smiled. ‘Oh, I know what you’re thinking. Don’t worry, he’ll never hear it from me.’

  Lexie exhaled with relief. ‘Thanks, Ton. Not that I think it’s any of Daryl’s business who I go to bed with now, but it’d only spell trouble for us all if he found out.’

  ‘Be careful, Lexie. You know how gossip can spread.’ Tonya reached into her handbag. ‘Here, this is for you. Just don’t tell anyone on the committee you got it from me, all right?’

  Lexie opened up the bunting Tonya handed her: a long string of triangular Union Jacks.

  ‘Awww,’ she said, smiling. ‘It’s a nationalistic celebration of Empire. Thanks, Ton.’

  ‘You’re welcome, honey. Seriously, though, don’t tell anyone I made it. I’d never live it down at my yoga group.’ She finished her cocktail and gestured to the barman to bring the same again. ‘Another?’

  ‘No, thanks. I’ve got loads left.’

  ‘Well, and how have the festival plans been progressing in my absence? Are we nearly there?’

  ‘Yes, pretty much. Ryan’s sorted out the road closure for our procession, Janette’s booked us a brass band and a Spitfire to do a flyover, and Stevie’s been running about like a blue-arsed fly press-ganging all the village groups into running stalls and things.’

  ‘And the restaurant?’

  ‘Oh, the Parrot’s going all out. Special VE Day menu, a jazz singer, extra waiting staff, ads in all the papers. We’re having a marquee cafe down in the park as well as the restaurant itself, run jointly with Brooke from the pub.’ She sucked meditatively on her straw. ‘I just hope we get the crowds. Theo and me have invested a lot in this event being a success. We stand to lose a bomb if it fails, and we really can’t afford that. I can’t afford it.’

  ‘I have every faith in you both.’ Tonya twisted her barstool to examine her. ‘You look very well. I suppose we’ve got young Theo to thank for that.’

  Lexie smiled slightly. ‘I must confess, it’s been fun. It’s so long since I did anything just for myself. I feel like a proper young person again now – my own person, not just someone’s mum.’

  ‘Definitely just casual? You told me you two had been getting closer since Daryl left.’

  ‘It is casual, but… I suppose because we’re mates as well, it’s like the best of both worlds. Dating without the dates. The physical side of it’s great, but it’s nice to feel I’ve got that companionship, emotionally.’

  Tonya was silent for a moment, scrutinising her face.

  ‘You ought to be careful, Lexie,’ she said at last.

  ‘Oh, don’t worry about that. We’re not stupid.’

  ‘I don’t mean that kind of careful. I mean in terms of protecting your feelings.’

  Lexie raised an eyebrow. ‘Really? The Mother Superior of the Free Love movement’s warning me about feelings?’

  Tonya shrugged. ‘They’re not the same as one-off sex, those sorts of no-strings relationships. It’s all fun and games at the start – trust me, I’ve had my share – but it’s easy for emotions to start creeping in after a time.’

  ‘You mean you fell for someone?’

  She shook her head. ‘He fell for me. I met him on holiday shortly after Elise died, at a time when my feelings were a little all over the place, to say the least. I felt terrible when I couldn’t reciprocate, but that’s the way it happens sometimes. It’s easy to convince yourself you can keep things purely physical, but a friendship with sex in the mix nearly always ends up being more than the sum of its parts.’

  ‘Not for us.’

  Tonya squinted at her. ‘You sound awfully sure.’

  ‘I am sure.’

  ‘Why? Theo Blake’s a handsome lad, and you’re fond of him. You know you’re sexually compatible. Who says it couldn’t turn into more?’

  ‘Because I wouldn’t let it turn into more. For now the friends-with-benefits arrangement is giving us everything we need, but I know Theo doesn’t want what I want – a baby, a family life. Knowing he doesn’t want those things makes it easy for me to maintain a sort of detachment. Same for him, I suppose – although it was always going to be easy for him. He’s had plenty of fuck buddies in his time but I’ve never known him fall for anyone.’

  ‘How do you know he doesn’t want a baby?’

  ‘He told me. Multiple times. Honestly, you should hear him on the subject. He talks about having a kid like it’s the most horrific thing imaginable.’

  ‘He likes children though, doesn’t he? He’s always been good with Connor.’

  ‘Yeah, he’s great with other people’s, but that’s very different from being responsible for one as a parent. I think Theo Blake is just one of life’s uncles.’

  ‘Why though?’

  ‘I suppose not everyone has that parental instinct. Still, the way he talks about having kids… it almost sounds like some sort of phobia.’ Lexie shrugged. ‘I guess that’s just how it is for some people. It’s not for me to judge Theo’s life choices just because they’re not the same as mine. I certainly wouldn’t appreciate it if people started lecturing me on what I ought to do with my reproductive system.’

  ‘You wish his choices could be different though,’ Tonya said quietly. ‘Don’t you?’

  ‘I… no,’ Lexie said, feeling her cheeks heat slightly. ‘What’s the point in wishing? Things are how they are.’ She finished her drink. ‘Anyway, it’s fine, Ton. It’s just a bit of fun, then when we’re both ready to move on, we will. At this point in my life, it’s the perfect arrangement.’

  Tonya didn’t say anything, but she kept her eyes fixed on Lexie’s face while she knocked back the dregs of her second mojito.

  * * *

  ‘You’re really sure I look OK in this?’ Lexie said, brushing down her blue satin cocktail dress.

  ‘You look great, Lex,’ Theo called from the en suite. ‘Honestly, you’ll be the biggest knockout in the room. Just relax.’

  When Allegra had said they were planning a small unofficial Kingsway reunion, Lexie had been dim enough to take her at face value. Of course, Allegra Schofield had never had just the one face. When the event link popped into her Facebook notifications, she discovered that what she’d expected would be a few of them congregating at the bar of a country pub somewhere was actually a proper swanky do in the function room of a smart hotel, with at least forty people going. Perhaps it was the paranoia Allegra had nurtured in her during their schooldays, but Lexie couldn’t help suspecting the invitation was less an olive branch than an attempt to humiliate her.

  Allegra had always enjoyed sneering at Lexie’s working-class credentials. Kingsway had been a mixed bag in that respect, with a catchment area hoovering up kids from all sorts of different backgrounds in and around Halifax, yet it was Lexie the well-off girls had chosen to single out. Was Allegra hoping to show her up in front of the sort of people who’d always believed themselves to be a cut above her at school? Or was it her intention to embarrass Lexie in front of Theo? Allegra had obviously found him attractive, and she hadn’t extended the invitation until Theo had announced that the two of them were an item. Perhaps she was keen to show him just what a total Jan his supposed new girlfriend really was.

  Lexie readjusted the dress, trying to give her boobs a bit more room to breathe. The fabric was very tight around the chest, especially as it was right before her period, when her breasts were at their most swollen and tender. She’d have to remind Theo to be gentle with them when they made love later. One of her favourite things about going to bed with her best friend was the freedom to be completely frank about things like that, never having to hide her natural bodily functions in embarrassment as she had with boyfriends in the past
. With Theo, she didn’t need to be any sort of unrealistic ideal. She could just be herself.

  ‘We’re going to see your mum before the party though,’ she called to him. ‘I don’t want her to think I’m some harlot in my slinky dress, do I?’

  ‘You don’t look like a harlot.’ Theo came in from the bathroom. ‘You look sexy and sophisticated, because you are. Anyway, she won’t notice. She never notices stuff like that.’

  Lexie stared at him.

  ‘What?’ he said, glancing down at the dinner suit he’d put on. ‘Looks all right, doesn’t it? It’s been a while since I had any reason to give it an airing.’

  ‘It looks…’ She approached him and ran her fingers over his chest. ‘Wow, Theo. You’re hot stuff.’

  ‘Aren’t I always?’

  ‘Well, obviously, but usually more of an earthy hot stuff. I’ve never seen you all gelled and shiny before.’

  He did look handsome as sin in black tie, with his usually tousled sandy hair smartly styled and his broad shoulders emphasised by the cut of the suit. Lexie turned to look in the mirror again, but found that her eyes wouldn’t stop straying to the man at her shoulder.

  ‘God, Theo, I’m seriously dreading tonight,’ she whispered.

  ‘You’ll be fine. Better than fine. You’ll be the belle of the ball.’ Theo presented her with his arm. ‘Come on, tiger. Let’s go get ’em.’

  * * *

  Connor was at the kitchen table when they went in, glued to his smartphone as usual while he picked absently at a bunch of grapes.

  ‘You two look fancy,’ he said when he’d torn his eyes from his phone. ‘Where are you going on your date? Prom?’

  ‘It’s not a date,’ Lexie said. ‘We’re going to some posh party with people I hated at school.’

  ‘What for?’

  She glanced at Theo. ‘Because, despite his conspicuous lack of a psychology doctorate, your bloody godfather seems to think I have to go bury the demons of my past or something.’