Unspoken Fears (The Unspoken Love Series Book 4)

by H. P. Davenport

  Unspoken Fears

  An Unspoken Love Series Novel

  H. P. Davenport

  Published by H.P. Davenport

  Unspoken Fears Copyright © 2018 H.P. Davenport

  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, businesses, and events portrayed in this book are fictitious in every regard. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Any trademarks, service marks, product names, or named features are assumed to be the property of their respective owners, and are used only for reference. There is no implied endorsement if any of these terms are used.

  All songs, song titles and lyrics or movie titles and movie quotes or play titles contained in this book are the property of the respective songwriters and copyright holders.

  Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  If you have received this from anyone other than the author or one of her representatives, you are reading an illegal copy.

  Editor: Elaine York,

  Allusion Graphics, LLC/Publishing & Book Formatting

  Cover Design: T.E. Black Designs

  Cover photo: © depositphotos.com

  Contents

  Praise For Unspoken Fears

  Praise For Unspoken Words

  Praise For Unspoken Promises

  Praise For Unspoken Vows

  Unspoken Fears

  1. Chapter One

  2. Chapter Two

  3. Chapter Three

  4. Chapter Four

  5. Chapter Five

  6. Chapter Six

  7. Chapter Seven

  8. Chapter Eight

  9. Chapter Nine

  10. Chapter Ten

  11. Chapter Eleven

  12. Chapter Twelve

  13. Chapter Thirteen

  14. Chapter Fourteen

  15. Chapter Fifteen

  16. Chapter Sixteen

  17. Chapter Seventeen

  18. Chapter Eighteen

  19. Chapter Nineteen

  20. Chapter Twenty

  21. Chapter Twenty-One

  22. Chapter Twenty-Two

  23. Chapter Twenty-Three

  24. Chapter Twenty-Four

  25. Chapter Twenty-Five

  26. Chapter Twenty-Six

  27. Chapter Twenty-Seven

  28. Chapter Twenty-Eight

  29. Chapter Twenty-Nine

  30. Chapter Thirty

  31. Chapter Thirty-One

  32. Chapter Thirty-Two

  33. Chapter Thirty-Three

  34. Chapter Thirty-Four

  Epilogue

  Playlist

  About the Author

  Books by H.P. Davenport

  Acknowledgments

  Praise For Unspoken Fears

  “Unspoken Fears took me through devastating lows and soaring highs. Rory’s story to love and healing was wrought with pain, but every second of he hurt she experienced was worth the love and happiness she found in the end.” ~ Sarah Arndt, A Literary Perusal

  “H.P. Davenport takes you through heartbreak to bring you through some of the most amazing and beautiful love stories there are You get friends, family, real life and love. What more do you need. There is no much beauty in her words, promises, vows and fears. Take the plunge you won’t be disappointed.” ~ Heather McLaughlin, Naughty and Nice Book Blog

  “The grace and beauty of Ms. Davenport's writing put me right in the middle of this story allowing me to feel all the emotions from laughing to swooning and even crying. This story has been worth the wait and I for one am so thrilled I got to experience Christian and Rory's story with my entire heart and soul.” ~ Franci Neill, Franci's Fabulous Reads

  Praise For Unspoken Words

  "Beautifully written, emotional, and so realistic. I loved it." ~ Katy Evans, New York Times and USA Today bestselling author

  "A touching debut novel from H.P. Davenport of friendship turned love and devotion that runs deep. Jamie is the kind of best friend and lover every girl dreams of." ~ AL Jackson, New York Times bestselling author

  “H.P. Davenport delivers a beautiful, heart-warming, friends to lovers story in her debut novel, Unspoken Words, with a touch of suspense that causes you to tear through the pages.” ~ Michelle Lynn, USA Today Bestselling Author

  "Camryn and Jamieson's story will take up a part of my heart forever. H.P. Davenport weaves her words into gallant emotion that literally pours off every page and straight into your soul. I laughed out loud, winced and cried and grew to love not only these two characters, but the whole cast, within moments of opening this book. This love story will raise the bar for every one you read after it. Stunning." ~ Michelle Kemper Brownlow, Author

  “This is the debut book of H.P. Davenport. And I have to say she really knows how to pull out the emotional roller coaster for her first book! This book has it all. Swoon worthy moments, hot mess moments, and moments where you cannot put the book down because you need to know what is going to happen next.” ~ Karrie, Panty Dropping Book Blog

  “H.P. Davenport has taken my heart on a rollercoaster ride of emotions.” ~ Tami, The Book Enthusiast

  Praise For Unspoken Promises

  “Simply beautiful. Sensual, heart-tugging, and real.” ~ Katy Evans, New York Times and USA Today bestselling author

  “Once again, H.P. Davenport has written a beautiful story replete with loving and heartfelt romance as well as intrigue with heartbreaking and touching moments that gripped my core.” ~ Tami Talbert, The Book Enthusiast

  “H.P. Davenport has written a beautiful and emotional book that will tear your heart up in pieces but by the end, not only are you whole again, you believe that true love really does conquer all.” ~ Franci Neill, My Girlfriend’s Couch

  “I really, really love this story. Morgan and Lincoln really take you on a roller coaster ride. My emotions were all over the place with this book.” ~ Karrie Mellott Puskas, Panty Dropping Book Blog

  Praise For Unspoken Vows

  "Davenport seals Jamie and Camryn's story with an extended happily ever after that will keep your heart warm and a smile on your face on every page." ~ Michelle Lynn-Author, USA Today bestselling Author

  "The timeless and unwavering love Camryn and Jamie share with each other is absolutely magical. Bravo, Ms. Davenport. You have given us an absolutely fantastic ending to this enchanting and captivating love story." ~ Tami Talbert, TheBookEnthusiast

  "This beautiful love story will pull at all of your emotions. It will make you laugh and it will make you cry! H.P. Davenport, Author made me feel like I was a part of Camryn and Jaime's big day!" ~ Samantha Schafer

  "This book is everything I wanted Jamie and Camryn's wedding day to be. It's the ultimate culmination to a forever love written beautifully by H.P. Davenport." ~ Franci Neill, My Girlfriend's Couch

  "Their story was the definition of true love and overcoming all odds. Love and relationships aren't easy and you have to fight to make it work." ~ Shelly's Book Corner

  About This Book

  Life is unpredictable.

  In the blink of an eye, everything I loved disappeared.

  In that moment, I realized nothing would ever be the same again.

  All it took was five, horrifying words to annihilate my perfect life, and destroy my entire w
orld.

  I’m lost.

  I’m alone.

  I’m numb.

  My life was irrevocably changed.

  Is it true that sometimes our lives have to be completely shaken up so that we end up where we’re meant to be?

  Can my closed-off heart learn to love again, or will it forever be bound by my Unspoken Fears?

  Dedication

  To those who have lost a loved one, know they live within you. They will always be a part of you. They will forever be your guardian angel.

  To those who fear loving again. Let your love be bigger than your fears.

  Unspoken Fears

  By H.P. Davenport

  “Don’t let your fear of what could

  happen make nothing happen.”

  -Doe Zantamata

  Chapter One

  Rory

  Present – February 2018

  I place my steaming cup of coffee down on the granite countertop. Glancing around my spacious condo, I focus my attention on the unpacked boxes. Considering the number of boxes unloaded from the moving van just a few weeks prior, I’ve made significant progress.

  I push the thought of unpacking to the back of my mind, determined to tackle that task another day. Scooting the stool back from the kitchen island, I walk over to the window facing the city. Windows cover the entire back wall, from the floor to the ceiling. A spectacular view of the skyline. The Manhattan Bridge is to my right, and the Brooklyn Bridge to my left. Whether it’s day or night, the view is always breathtaking.

  When I agreed to move to New York, my parents were ecstatic. I was in need of a fresh start. Leaving Philadelphia would help me move on. Or so I thought. I was wrong. The same fears I ran away from in Philadelphia followed me here.

  Being blessed with a father who owns several buildings in the City and surrounding areas has its privileges. A condo was easily accessible. I live in the Moretti, a luxurious high-rise in New York’s historic waterfront neighborhood known as Dumbo, short for Down Under the Manhattan Bridge Overpass.

  The area was exactly what I was looking for. How could it not be, with the waterfront Brooklyn Bridge Park, the art galleries, boutiques, and every cultural opportunity just an elevator ride away. The park has riverfront promenades, beautiful lush gardens, and remarkable city views. The perfect place for children to run free on the spacious grounds, and a perfect atmosphere for me to lace up my sneakers and go for a run.

  Million Miles an Hour by Nickelback shrieks through my silent living room. The assigned ringtone alerts me my best friend is calling. Quickly, I dash across the room, snatch my phone off the end table, and silence the ringtone. It slips from my palm and hits the hardwood floor. “Damn it.”

  Tilting my head toward the hallway, I listen carefully for any sounds. When I hear nothing, I answer the call in a hushed voice.

  “Hey, stranger, how are you?” I walk forward, stopping to pick up my cup, then take another sip of coffee.

  A hearty laugh fills my ear. “Stranger. That hurts. I’ll have you know, I’ve called you several times and left messages. You’re the one who never returns my calls,” Brandon says.

  Taking a deep, unsteady breath, I exhale. “Things have been busy. I’ve been unpacking, getting settled, and trying to get into some sort of a routine.”

  “Rory, don’t bullshit me. Did you think you could move to another city and I would stop calling you every week? You may be two hours away, but I’m always here. Why haven’t you returned any of my calls?”

  Lying will get me nowhere. Brandon knows me. We’ve been close for years. Over the past ten months he’s been my rock. He’s seen me at my worst and kept me sane since that ill-fated day. I don’t know what I would do without him.

  For months, I went through life barely surviving. I wasn’t living. I was dead inside. I was forced to take a leave of absence from the hospital. There were weeks when I didn’t get out of bed, using sleep as my escape and the walls as my fortress. The darkness had become my light. I had given up and suffered in silence. I allowed the pain to destroy me. It was easier to let it ruin me than face it head-on.

  Brandon never allowed me to push him away. He reminded me he would be there when I was ready to talk. He made a promise to his best friend that he intended to keep.

  He lets out a sigh when I don’t answer. “I won’t let you drown in your sorrows, Rory.”

  “I’m not drowning.”

  “Don’t lie. You can’t fool me,” his voice holds his usual, compassionate tone.

  Each day I feel as if an anchor is tied to both of my ankles and I’m being pulled into the depths of the ocean. I struggle to breathe, the surface fades, complete darkness envelops me.

  Shaking my head to escape my inner thoughts, I tell him, “I’m good. I promise.”

  “Your definition of good is not the same as mine. If good means you are doing one hell of a job masking your pain still, then sure. You’re golden.”

  “Brandon,” I whisper, tears burning my eyes.

  He lets out a deep breath. “I didn’t call to get you upset. I’m worried about you. It’s not like you to ignore my calls.”

  I needed a break from my past. Talking to him is a reminder of the life I once had. I can hear the sadness in his voice. It’s the same inflection I have when I speak to him. Gripping my hand on the edge the counter, I mutter, “I already told you, I’ve been busy trying to get settled.”

  Brandon can read me like a book, whether he’s in front of me reading my body language and facial expressions, or simply hearing the tone of my voice. He knows me too well.

  “Why don’t you come home on your next weekend off?”

  “I am home,” my voice trembles.

  “Your home will always be here.”

  My hand clenches the phone. “Don’t do this, Brandon. You know better than anyone I couldn’t bear being in that house another day.”

  Thinking of being in the house, our house, brings back so many memories, ones that were slowly suffocating me. Inhaling through my nose, I take a few deep breaths. Quietly, I make my way to my bedroom and tap the speaker button, making sure to adjust the volume, then lay the phone on my dresser. Pulling open my drawer, I find what I’m looking for. I drag on a pair of jeans, a black tank, then grab my grey Converse from the bottom of my closet.

  “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I wish I could have taken away your pain.”

  “Me, too, but moving here was my only option,” I answer quickly over my pounding heart. Moving to New York was a necessity. I’m determined to build a new life for myself and to leave that old life in my rear view.

  Brandon doesn’t respond. After a few awkward moments of silence, he clears his throat “I wish it were me, so you wouldn’t have to deal with this shit,” he says in a hushed tone.

  Clenching my jaw tight, I bite down hard on my lower lip. “Don’t say that. Please.”

  He sighs. “Why not. Let’s be realistic, Rory.”

  A tear streaks down my cheek, my bottom lip quivers. “Brandon, stop. I mean it. I don’t want to hear this shit. What happened is done, I can’t change it. I wish I could, but I would never wish it was you instead.”

  I shake my head regretfully; the misery of that day still haunts me. “Change the subject please, or I’m going to hang up.” My voice fills with annoyance.

  “Okay,” Brandon lets out a deep breath. “Have you listened to your messages lately?” he asks softly.

  I sit on the edge of my bed to put my sneakers on. “No, I figured they were all from you.”

  Standing, I move toward my dresser to get my earrings.

  “They’re not,” he says seriously.

  A few seconds pass. His voice fades, losing its steely edge. “He plead guilty, Rory.”

  My body remains motionless with that word—guilty.

  When it finally registers, I reach for the dresser. My fingers grip the edge of it, as my knees begin to buckle, nearly collapsing under my weight.

  Thoughts race th
rough my mind. My heart pounds in my chest.

  “Rory, sweetheart,” his hoarse whisper breaks the silence.

  I hesitate, torn by conflicting emotions. “Go on,” my voice fades.

  Listening with bewilderment as he explains. “The prosecution was going after the death penalty if the case went to trial. If he plead guilty and made a full confession, they agreed to take the death penalty off the table.”

  Steadying my erratic pulse is impossible. I choke back a cry. “It’s over,” I reply in a small voice.

  “It’s over. A full confession was made. He’ll be sentenced to life in prison without the chance of parole.”

  Letting out a long, audible breath, “It’s finally over,” I repeat.

  “It is. It’s not the outcome we wanted, but the bastard will never walk the streets a free man.”