Then Randy spotted him, and all that beautiful happiness fled his face. Instantly the fearful, wary look Tash remembered from the night before returned to draw a dark veil over those laughing eyes. As Tash approached Randy, he could almost see the man girding for battle. Randy’s shoulders drew together, and he widened his stance, bracing himself.
Tash decided to take the friendly, non-confrontational approach. After all, Randy really didn’t know who the hell he was. “Hi.” Tash gazed up at the man, who remained at the top of the steps. “I hoped we could talk.”
A muscle ticked in Randy’s smooth jawline, sending his skin jumping. Tash had a crazy urge to press his mouth to all that soft-looking skin.
“What about? And why you?” Randy’s fair brows drew together in confusion. “I was going to tell Gage I don’t think I’m the right fit.”
“Because it’s my program, and I think you’re the perfect fit. Let me try and convince you, okay? Have coffee with me? No strings attached. Hear me out, and then if you still don’t want to work with us, I’ll go away.”
Tash held his breath, watching as a myriad of emotions played over Randy’s handsome face. “It’s not that big of a deal,” Tash pressed gently. “It’s only coffee.”
“All right, I guess.” Randy joined him at the foot of the steps. “When, now?” He hefted his backpack on his shoulder.
“Yes. There’s a nice, quiet coffee shop near my house where we can talk. Unless…” An idea popped into his head. “Do you like cats?” At Randy’s nod, Tash smiled. “Would you mind coming to my house? I need to check on my devils. They’re a little overwhelming, and I hate leaving them alone all day. I’ve been with patients since early this morning and I’m afraid they might tear the house apart if I leave them alone much longer.”
“I don’t know.” Randy hedged, shifting on his feet. Tash feared the man was about to bolt again.
“Come on. I’m a doctor. You can trust me. I promise not to bite.”
A blush crept up Randy’s neck, and Tash winked at him. He couldn’t help it. The guy was adorable—a caring individual and incredibly good-looking. The complete package.
“All right.”
“I have my car and can drive you home afterward.” Tash indicated the small SUV parked at the corner. “Consider it added incentive.”
Randy chuckled, transforming his somber face back into that younger, alive-looking man Tash had seen earlier when Randy stood surrounded by the children. A crazy thought popped into Tash’s head.
I like his smile. I’d like to be the one to put a smile on his face and keep it there.
“Sounds good. Thanks.”
Tash unlocked the car, and they climbed inside and drove off, bouncing along the ruts in the streets. He decided to hold off on any questions, even though Randy was a trapped audience inside the moving car. Within twenty minutes, he pulled into the garage across the street from his home. Randy hadn’t moved since they began the trip to the Heights, remaining silent, white-knuckling the straps on his backpack.
“We’re here. Come on.” Tash exited the car, Randy trailing behind him.
Carefully opening the door to prevent the cats from slipping out, Tash entered the house, speaking over his shoulder to Randy, who hung back. “I can’t leave the door open because these demons might run out. Hurry up.”
Randy moved behind him, standing close enough for Tash to sense his body heat. “How many do you have?”
The air stirred around him as Randy’s breath drifted past his ear. Tash’s body unexpectedly hardened. A delicious frisson rocketed through him. For five years, desire had lain fairly dormant within him, his blood running thick and sluggish in his veins. Somehow, this unassuming man had awakened what he’d thought was gone forever.
“Uh, there are two, although most days it feels like double that. That’s Cleopatra, and her brother is Caesar.” He pointed to the two lithe bodies stretched out on his sofa, their almond-shaped turquoise eyes daring him to remove them from their throne.
“Great names.” Randy grinned, his concentration on the cats.
“They are devils more than royalty, but they keep me company.” Tash strode over to the sofa and picked up Caesar, who immediately began to squirm and yowl. “Behave now; we have company,” Tash murmured to the cat, fully believing the animal understood.
As if to prove his point, Caesar ceased his howling and stared at Randy, who reached out to pet him with hesitant fingers. To Tash’s ultimate shock, Caesar not only accepted the petting but head-butted Randy’s hand and began to struggle to get down from Tash’s arms. When Tash set him down, the cat wended his way around Randy’s legs like a cream-colored snake. Cleo, loathe to miss any action, joined her brother. Tash could only gape at his usually aloof cats as they lavished attention on this stranger.
“Come on and sit down. I can give you that coffee if you want, but I also have beer and wine.” The guy could use a drink. Randy sat stiffly on the sofa, his rigid posture once again betraying his nerves. What the heck was the guy so scared of? Maybe he was in hiding from an ex-lover. Tash’s intrigue grew. “Relax. I’m not going to interrogate you.”
“Coffee’s fine, honest.” Randy’s husky voice, that suede-over-sandpaper sound, shot straight to Tash’s groin. Without even trying, he projected a sexy-yet-vulnerable air. What the hell was going on with him? He’d never had this kind of attraction toward anyone before. But even as he struggled inwardly with his suddenly reawakened libido, Tash imagined what Randy tasted like. Tash made the coffee, a cinnamon blend he loved, and brought a tray with two thick cream-colored mugs, a small carafe of milk, sugar, and a plate of hazelnut biscotti. He was a firm believer that one should never drink coffee without a little something sweet.
“Here. Help yourself.” He placed the tray on the coffee table, and they busied themselves with the milk and biscotti. The cats, who had settled themselves on either side around Randy, watched their movements with avid, gleaming eyes.
He and Randy settled back on opposite ends of the sofa. “So,” Tash began. Immediately, Randy tensed, his hand gripping the coffee mug tight, but Tash continued, determined to be as direct as possible. “Do you care to tell me why you’re scared to death?”
Chapter Five
Damn, damn, DAMN. Brandon knew he shouldn’t have accepted Tash’s invitation. Of course, Tash would want to know why Brandon had left the meeting last night, racing through the doors like a bat out of hell. Brandon knew he’d been wrong—his precipitous exit had only made everyone curious, but he couldn’t help himself; the mere mention of the police had rattled him so badly he couldn’t think straight.
With practice he’d spent years perfecting, he stared straight into Tash’s eyes. “I’m sorry. It was wrong for me to bail on all of you. I had a run-in years ago with the police, and I’ve been wary of them ever since, even though I know they’re here to help.” A fine sweat broke over his body, and his hand shook. Some coffee slopped over the side, onto his pants.
Tash moved over and handed him a napkin but remained disarmingly near. Having held those around him at bay for years, Tash’s proximity overwhelmed Brandon; his normal steady rhythm played out of sync.
“You don’t seem the type who’d stay scared forever. If there’s anything I can do to help you, let me.” Tash’s eyes glowed behind the glint of his glasses. “Can I? Help you, I mean? Won’t you tell me what’s wrong?” Tash laid a hand on Brandon’s shoulder. It remained there, warm and comforting. The air around them swelled with sounds: Brandon’s rapidly beating heart, the pulse of blood singing through his veins, Tash’s gentle breathing. A yearning welled up inside Brandon, and all he wanted was to be held. The loneliness he’d lived with most of his life had bled his soul dry. He hadn’t felt this desperate since the night Luke told him Ash was never coming back.
But as much as Tash tantalized, Brandon could ill afford to open up and let him in. “I-I’m fine, really.” His weak grin didn’t seem to fool Tash, who gazed back at him with sk
eptical, knowing eyes. “Honest. Why don’t you tell me about the program now? I know I should’ve stayed and listened instead of bailing. I’m sorry.”
Tash patted his shoulder and removed his hand. Immediately Brandon regretted the loss of his touch. “Don’t worry about it. I want you to know that I’m here if you ever need to talk, okay?”
“Sure.” Nice as Tash seemed, Brandon didn’t put much stock into his words. Everyone who’d ever promised to be there for him had let him down in some way or another.
“How about we talk now and I can tell you what I’m planning; you’re still interested, right?”
“Of course.” Brandon stroked the soft fur of one of the cats, the rumble of her purring vibrating through his fingers. It was true what they said about animals; they did relieve stress. His racing pulse and frantically beating heart slowed as his fingers slid through Cleo’s plush velvet coat. At least he thought that was Cleo. “I don’t want you to think I’m not interested. I have several kids I’m concerned about. They get bullied constantly because they do their homework and like school.”
“That’s not cool for most kids, right?” Tash relaxed back onto the sofa, and the other cat, annoyed at being ignored, stalked over to him, claiming a place of honor on his lap. Brandon couldn’t help but watch Tash’s long fingers slide over the cat’s sinewy frame and wonder how those hands would feel against his own skin.
Guiltily, Brandon’s face heated, and he returned from his daydreams to concentrate on the conversation. “It’s unfortunate, but you’re correct. These two boys I help after school are intelligent and so eager to learn. Their parents have done so much to help them, yet at school they constantly get teased. I’m afraid if they don’t have a safe place, they’ll give up and fall into the cycle of drugs and violence.”
“And you won’t let that happen, will you?” The confidence in Tash’s voice surprised Brandon.
“No. No, you’re right; I won’t.” He couldn’t let those boys be subjected to the constant barrage of criticism and insults he heard some of the other kids whisper in the halls. “I’d never forgive myself if anything happened to these kids.”
“I have an idea.” Tash rubbed his jaw. “You should come with me to the shelter and meet Wanda.”
“Who’s she?” Brandon couldn’t keep up with all the new people he’d met over the past few days. “Was she there last night?”
“No. But she’s the heart and soul of another project intimately tied up with this one. She can introduce you to the people from the shelter she runs, as well as take you around the community center. These boys sound like they’d be perfect for the Center if they can come.” Tash lifted the cat from his lap and placed him on the floor. Caesar stalked away, his tail sticking straight up like a flagpole. Free to move, Tash took his coffee mug and a biscotti. “When Jordan and Luke come home from Europe I know they’ll want to meet everyone involved with the project.”
“Jordan’s the doctor, right?” His heart gave a funny thump when he heard the name Luke. “Who’s Luke?” Hoping against hope, Brandon’s voice trembled. There had to be a million Lukes in the world, but maybe…
“Yes. Jordan Peterson and Drew are best friends, along with Mike Levin, the other man you met last night. Luke Conover and Jordan are a couple.”
Brandon’s frantic heartbeat slowed. Conover, not Carini. Of course it wasn’t his Luke. How stupid to think it might be. “Sure, I’d be happy to meet them.”
“So, you’re in, then? I’m glad. I really do think you’re a perfect fit for the group.” Tash dunked his biscotti in his coffee. Fascinated, Brandon stared at Tash’s mouth as he chewed, swallowed, then licked his lips. He couldn’t ever remember being this turned on by another person. This couldn’t happen. Tash was being kind to get him to help with the program. He was an incredibly attractive man with a life and a family. Brandon was probably another project to take on.
“What? Yeah, sure.” He wanted to help; it was the reason he became a teacher. And Brandon hadn’t survived for this long without keeping his wits about him. If the police needed to be involved, he’d make himself scarce, come up with excuses. As long as the kids needed him, he’d find a way to help. Their welfare was paramount in his mind.
“What had you so worried; will you tell me? Maybe I can help.” Once again, Tash moved closer. “Talk to me. I’m not here to judge or hurt you. It’s my job to help people.” Once again, he placed a hand on Brandon’s shoulder, and Brandon shivered. The simple act of Tash’s hand on any part of his body sent unfamiliar sparks through Brandon. His mind might not understand, but his body did. And his body wanted Tash.
“I already told you.”
Tash shook his head. “You can trust me, you know. I’d never reveal anything you tell me. You may not be a patient of mine, but I would consider anything you told me privileged.”
Everyone Brandon had ever trusted had let him down in some way or another, whether by their own fault or outside influences. The last person he’d trusted was Gabriel, and he’d died. Brandon didn’t know who to blame in that instance since he’d stopped believing in God years before.
Tash meant well, and Brandon couldn’t deny he was incredibly attracted to him, but wanting to kiss someone and trusting them were on two opposite sides of the spectrum.
“I told you; it was silliness on my part. I’ll work through it.” Changing the subject, he pressed Tash for more information. “Can you tell me what I missed after I ran out of the meeting? I’d love to hear more about your mentoring program and how I can help.”
For a moment, Tash stared at him, and Brandon thought he might balk and continue to question him, but instead, he gave him a wry smile.
“You’re like me. When you don’t want to talk about something you change the subject. I have a good idea.”
Brandon watched a light spark in Tash’s eyes and girded himself for whatever he was about to suggest. “Ok, tell me.”
“Well,” he began, stroking the cat who’d once again jumped into his lap looking for attention. “Everyone goes to Drew’s grandmother’s house on Sunday for dinner. The guys keep a very close watch on her.”
“Not understanding what this has to do with me but that’s nice.” Brandon took a sip of his coffee, waiting for Tash to finish speaking and make a connection.
“Yeah. Anyway, that leaves the help lines at the Clinic pretty sparsely manned. We got lucky and a doctor joined us, a relationship psychologist named Noah Strauss. Don’t know if you’ve ever heard of him but he’s got a radio show Sunday evenings. Would you want to come with me and man the lines?”
“A chance to help questioning kids or someone asking for help? That sounds exactly like what I’d be interested in.”
A smile lit up Tash’s face. “Perfect. I can meet you there at ten a.m. on Sunday. I bring bagels, and there’s coffee, so we’ll be all set.”
Seeing the lengthening shadows on the wall, Brandon knew it was getting late and time for him to go back home to his dreary studio. From the pictures on the table and fireplace mantel Brandon viewed Tash’s past: him laughing with a group of friends and also his family. A typical life but one he’d never known. What would it be like to have people who cared about you? The only memories he had were of Luke holding him tight, telling him not to be afraid, or his foster mother’s tear-stained face giving him a hug before bed after escaping his foster father’s rage.
Not all memories were pleasant, and sometimes they deserved to be forgotten.
Chapter Six
Even though Randy sounded enthusiastic about the project, by Sunday morning, as Tash drove to the Clinic in Red Hook, he still had his doubts the man would show. The enigmatic Randy Gilbert had remained in his thoughts over the weekend; his nervousness whenever Tash came near and his refusal to discuss the real cause behind his running away from their nighttime meeting made no sense and proved further to Tash that Randy hid a secret.
Turning the corner, he spied Randy, and all doubts melted away. His pr
otective instincts kicked in, and as he pulled up in front to park, he promised himself no matter what, he’d find a way to help Randy. It had nothing to do with the rapid beating of his heart at Randy’s welcoming smile and how the early morning sun shot golden sparks through his thick silky hair. Nothing at all.
Tash got out and locked the car, anticipation buzzing through his veins at the thought of spending time with Randy. He hoped for a myriad of reasons they wouldn’t be too busy today, even though Sundays could often be the most hectic days. People became depressed after a bad Saturday night experience or another long lonely weekend and needed someone to talk to. Noah, who often came early to relieve the overnight person would most likely welcome a break, and Tash beckoned to Randy to follow him.
“Morning. Let’s go inside, grab our bagel and coffee, and see what’s going on.”
“Hi, yeah, sure. I didn’t want to knock or try going inside without you…” Randy bit his lip, suddenly looking very young and vulnerable.
“It’s okay.” Tash unlocked the front door and held it open for Randy to pass by. He caught his fresh warm scent and steeled himself against the attraction bubbling up inside of him. Tash had never been one to think with his dick instead of his brains, and he wasn’t about to start now, especially with someone almost fifteen years younger. “They lock the doors on the weekend since technically it’s closed, except for the people on the help lines. Hope you’re not frozen.”
“No.” Randy looked around. “I got used to the cold years ago.”
His interest quickened; obviously Randy didn’t come from the North if he had to get used to the cold, but Tash stored the information away without commenting.
Embrace the Fire Page 5
