Workings of a Happily Ever After, The

by Nona Mae King

  ~*~

  "Are you sure he's coming?" I whispered to Zell as Rinoa sang her song for the processional. They were testing the soundboard equipment.

  Zell focused on me with a comforting smile. "He's coming, Meg. I promise. He said he's doing better since you talked to him Wednesday. Says someone talked him into starting up a hobby, too."

  "Oh. Okay." I focused ahead, sitting as we were in the chairs of the front row in the T.C. waiting for Rinoa's sound check to be completed.

  He gave me a nudge and placed a kiss on my lips when I turned my head to face him. I giggled and then quickly shielded my mouth when everyone looked our direction. "Zell," I whispered in protest. And I saw my mom and dad exchange 'Isn't that cute?' smiles as they sat beside Zell in the same row of chairs.

  Zell chuckled and wrapped his arms around me, drawing me back against him as Rinoa continued singing and Squall shook his head with a smirk and Seifer scoffed and looked away. I flushed and softly laughed but snuggled into the embrace and enjoyed the moment. The next week was going to be a wild ride in last minute check-ups and adjustments to plans, food, lists, and everything. There was no telling when we'd have the chance to just sit and snuggle.

  Rinoa finished the song to the applause of a single person entering from the back. Everyone turned to look and I smiled and lifted a hand to wave as Jaxon sauntered in. He definitely looked better. Still a little strained, and his smile my direction was forced, but he didn't look green or yellow. That had to account for something.

  "Yo, Jax! You're late," Zell chastised. "Quit picking up on all the women and get somewhere on time for once."

  Chuckles sounded from everyone, with only a slight smirk Jaxon's response. I elbowed Zell gently in the stomach as I said, "Hi, Jaxon. I'm glad you could make it. We're having dinner at the Balamb Hotel afterwards."

  Jaxon came to sit down beside me, offering me a very small smile that didn't lighten the strain around his lips or the expression in his eyes. "Sorry, Sally. I don't think I'll be able to make it."

  And I knew why.

  I nodded. "That's all right," I said softly, and I hoped my expression asked him if he needed to talk.

  He looked away, so I couldn't tell one way or the other.

  "Okay, Zell. You and Sally are up," Squall reminded, gesturing us forward. "We'll run through a short version of the vows and the exchange of rings and candle-lighting. Then we'll send everyone to their marks and start from the beginning. Got it?"

  Everyone nodded and voiced their agreements.

  Compared to the previous rehearsal, this one went as smooth as silk.

  I didn't trip on my own feet for the processional or recessional, which had me smiling from ear to ear and my cheeks flushed and my expression happier than I could have imagined. And the look on Zell's face as he watched me? It looked as if he'd been clubbed with a 'happy stick' and he was left to wonder and wander. What did I do when I stood beside him? I giggled, of course.

  The songs sounded wonderful and had me actually looking forward to surprising Zell with my own performance of the second one. That, of course, ushered me to a daydream of his possible reactions while I recited our vows and exchanged rings--pretend rings--and then went to light the candles that symbolized a bunch of stuff I couldn't remember.

  Jaxon didn't look yellow, only a little pale, and so he and Janine weren't at each other’s throats. The flowers Selphie had put on rush order were still there, so Selphie was happy and Seifer was happy because nothing had gotten out of control. I was happy, so Mom was happy, and that made me happier, which filled the entire Training Center with a cloud of euphoria that I think settled on everyone in a positive way. Why do I think that? Because Ahndra, Marshal, and Seifer were all smiling as Rinoa played the recessional on the piano and Zell and I walked out.

  Unfortunately, I made the mistake of looking toward Jaxon's position behind us to notice his face a little on the yellow side. Zell noticed my look back and looked also, mumbling a "Oh crap," when he saw Jaxon's expression. Zell and I couldn't do anything about it, though, because Squall and Seifer called us back to give us the final list of do's and don'ts and to reiterate how important the security passes were for the wedding the following evening. When Seifer started talking more about the security, I whispered my intention to Zell and he nodded.

  I stealthily broke away from the group to enter the Training Center, where I'd seen Jaxon slip. "Jaxon?" I whispered as I hesitated just inside. "Jaxon? Where are you?" There was no answer, so I moved farther in, looking this way and that--I found him off the path pounding his head against a tree with a little more force than I would have liked. I rushed up to him and took hold of his arm as I protested, "Jaxon! What are you doing?"

  He twitched and lifted his head--there was already a bruise forming beneath the bright red--to focus on me with blue eyes darker than normal. "Hm? Oh this?" He patted the tree and forced a weak smile. "I'm just bonding with nature." He focused on the tree and gave it's sturdy trunk another pat. "Hello, tree. Nice to meet you." And then he bonked his head against it with a clunk before sending me a wavering smile.

  My expression must have said 'I don't believe you.' because his smile relaxed a little and he turned to lean back against the tree instead. "I'm doing okay, Sally. I guess I'm being a bit creative on trying to get the memories to behave." Jaxon tucked his hands into his pockets and cleared his throat as he looked down to the ground at his feet. "I didn't mean to call you that night," he admitted, sending me sidelong glances. "I was trying for Janine. Or was it Zell? I don’t remember. Suppose it doesn’t matter."

  "It was okay. Really," I assured. After all, two in the morning could make some people put you on their 'kill on sight' list.

  He nodded. "I know, and I appreciate it." He released a deep breath. "I needed that 'it's going to be okay'."

  I softly smiled. "We always do. About anything."

  He very slightly nodded again. Then he sent me a glance. "Did you know I've been junctioning a GF off and on these two years?"

  My jaw dropped as the words 'magic poisoning' and 'regulations' clashed together. "No," I whispered. And to put his job and his life on the line hinted at just how much of a horrible image her death was.

  Jaxon released a deep and slow breath. "Yep." He looked up, his focus moving to the heavy steel doors to the Training Center's outer 'sanctum'. "It was very much like a drug trip. To finally float away from this horrible reality, with it just whispering in the background. I could handle that without a problem, but..." Jaxon moved his gaze to meet mine. "But Zell made me see Elle deserved more than that. She deserved a lot more. But I couldn't give that to her when I was fading in and out of reality, choosing a half-lived/half-remembered one for the one that made me who I was." He looked away again, swallowing hard before admitting, "and damn if it isn't the hardest walk of my life."

  I bit the inside of my lip a moment before stepping closer and resting a hand on his arm. "I'm sorry, Jaxon," I whispered.

  He nodded and lowered his gaze, bringing up a hand to pull a chain from where it hid, safely nestled against the skin of his chest. "Yeah. So am I."

  I looked down to the ID tags and the small silver locket shaped like a tear drop and quietly asked, "Are those hers?"

  Jaxon nodded again, this time taking the chain from around his neck. He stared down at them for another moment before undoing the chain's clasp and freeing the locket from it. He offered it to me.

  I blinked and looked up at him. "I c-couldn't!"

  A tear gathered and escaped as he slightly smiled. "It's okay, Sally. Elle would want you to have it. As a 'thank you' to you and Zell for saving what little life I had left."

  I lowered glimmering eyes to the small locket resting in his palm and very hesitantly reached out to take it. "Thank you," I whispered.

  "No, Sally." I looked up to meet his gaze just as he shook his head. "No, Sally. Thank you."