The Love That Heals Me (Forever Mine Book 2)

by H. J. Marshall

  I tried to stop him, but he put his hand up to silence me and continued on, “You blame yourself, for that day, for what happened to Emily. It. Was. Not. Your. Fault. Damnit! You did what you did to Caroline out of guilt, shame, pride, and hopelessness. Now, years later, fate brought her back into your life when she is at the point she is ready to move past you. Fate, asshole! She could have gone to another facility, she could have seen you with the girl the other night, or she could have never stepped foot into New Orleans. Everything that is happening is meant to happen. You need to move forward or move on. Both of you. Josh and I talked the other night after I got home, and he is a good friend to her. And before you get angry thinking he is trying to get into her pants, apparently, he dated her sister Maddie in college and sister code, whatever the hell that is, makes him completely off limits to her. They are just friends and he is trying to help her.”

  After listening to what my best friend just said, I was stunned into silence. How can I explain why I lied and broke my promises to her, leaving her to fend for herself? Allowing assholes to hurt her, to touch her, to make love to her, to take advantage of her.

  “What do I do?” I asked my best friend. They would be back soon and I felt lost on how I should handle this. All of my soul was screaming for me to fall to my knees and beg her for forgiveness while my head was saying it would be better for Caroline if I gave her the closure she needs to move on and find someone else.

  I can’t let her go again. She’s mine!

  “You need to let her lead and give her some answers. You don’t have to tell her the entire truth but you can tell her what Emily tells everyone. She had an accident before y’all left Georgia and you came with the family to help with her recovery. You don’t have to go into any details. Just tell her enough of the truth to let her heart go free. Give her something, man. Buy her a drink or three, take her out on the dance floor and spin her around until she’s smiling, then tell her good-bye. Josh can handle the paperwork on Monday and then they can head back to Atlanta. She seems like a great lady and I hate to see how sad she is, even though she thinks she hides it—it’s in her eyes. She hurts and you can make it better. Send her away a better person and then you can move on too.” Cody responded

  “What if I don’t want to let her go again?” I asked under my breath and Cody’s head snaps towards me, letting me know he heard my plea.

  I see Josh paying for our drinks and heading back towards the table as the waitress delivered three beers and three shots along with bottled water for Emily and Cody.

  “Have you figured out how you are going to deal with tonight because I could hear them chatting through the bathroom door and they both were laughing and catching up. I think they want to dance the night away but I’ll take Caroline somewhere else if you are going to treat her like shit and ignore her. Or worse, throw some bimbo in her face just to stroke your ego. I won’t allow you to hurt her any worse than you already have. Do I make myself clear?”

  “Do you have a problem with me, Josh?” I challenged. “You need to rethink the attitude and show some respect.”

  “I don’t have a problem with you—but if I did, I promise, I can handle my own. I’m aware of your training but you have no idea what mine is. That gives me the upper hand here, Andrew. I don’t like violence, but if that is where this is headed, let me stop you right now. I am trying to help my friend and I want her to have a good time tonight with Emily. From what I gathered, they were close growing up?” Josh inquired.

  I nodded my head remembering the countless hours they spent together when I wanted Caroline all to myself. “They were.”

  “And leaving not only broke your relationship but their friendship as well. Let them dance tonight and we can handle the heavy stuff tomorrow. Sound like a plan?” he asked as he extended his hand to mine in a gesture of respect.

  “Deal.”

  Now if I can will my heart and head to get on the same page, there might be a chance I can salvage the best thing that ever happened to me.

  I walked into the bathroom and allowed my hands to fall to the counter, my head lowered, as I tried to make sense of the last few minutes. I felt like I walked into a dream, and I’m not sure what the universe is trying to tell me.

  Why are Andrew and Emily here? And why wouldn’t Josh tell me about them? Especially after I told him Emily had contacted me this morning. Why would he act like this is all a coincidence when I feel like I’m somehow being set up? I felt like my reality was spinning in a circle, forcing me against the edge, causing me to hang on for the ride.

  I took several deep breaths, trying to gather myself when the door opened behind me and the sound of the band warming up filtered through the quiet room. I looked up and saw Emily had joined me and was leaning against the wall, her arms crossed over her tiny body, making her look smaller somehow. I think of how much she has grown up, looking at the stunningly beautiful woman behind me where a little girl once stood.

  Emily speaks tentatively, a look of sadness in her eyes. “I had no idea you would be here tonight when I texted you this morning. I pinky promise. I didn’t know you were Josh’s business partner or I would have said something about it. I would never want you to walk into something you were unprepared for and I’m assuming seeing my brother has been a bit of a shock.” She explained, recalling our sister code pinky promise, which is a sacred way of telling the other, no matter what, we were telling the truth. Maddie is the only other person in my life who evokes the pinky promise. I willed myself to listen to her and not let the tears that are threatening to fall happen.

  “I just don’t understand. How are you here? Why is he here? What’s happening?” I ask her as a lone tear fell down my cheek and onto the counter in front of me.

  “From the best I can figure, and I followed you directly in here, the other night, you and Josh walked into our gym. Other than that, I’m as shocked as you are that you’re standing here.” She reasoned with me as I walked towards her and reached out for a hug.

  She ran into my arms and we allowed the tears to fall momentarily before I pulled back and admired her. Emily still had the most amazing hazel eyes and her hair had grown out to the middle of her back, giving her small, curvy frame an exotic appearance. “I knew you would be a knock out when you grew up.” I confided to her, a huge smile breaking out across her face.

  “Thank you. You look amazing. It’s so good to see you. How long are you in town for?”

  “We leave Monday afternoon, headed back home. We’ve been on the road for over ten days and this is our little vacation before getting back to work.” I explained as we walked over to the couch that many women’s restrooms seem to have as we began to catch up in the relatively quiet space.

  “I was reading about the literacy program your company created and I think it is a wonderful idea. Partnering the old and young to help improve reading skills along with the community support I researched is impressive. So, you are part of the expansion program, I assume?” she asked, obviously well read on the programs we are building.

  “I am. Josh and I are researching independent aspects of the growth of the program in other cities. I’m looking strictly at the educational angles. Facilities, participants, sponsorship, etc., while Josh is looking into potential fitness partnerships, I think. He is a little unclear on the angle he is looking into for one of the company’s executives. Actually, it’s Maddie’s new husband, Lucas, who is funding Josh’s research and weighing the hypothetical successes and failures. They aren’t even sure if they’ll go forward with that avenue and he is tagging along with me and conducting his own recon of the cities.”

  A worried look crossed her face but disappeared before I could get a read on it. I had to remind myself what Mom and Maddie had said, that this isn’t the same Emily that I knew growing up. She had been gone for four years and had grown into a beautiful young woman who, for all intents and purposes, was a stranger to me.

  “Is Josh your boyfriend?” she shyly as
ked, a small blush creeping up her face.

  I smiled at her, realizing that she liked Josh and was trying to find out if he was single or not. “No. Josh dated Maddie in college and they remained friends ever since. He was instrumental in Maddie and Lucas getting their forever but there has never been anything between us. He and I are just really good friends.” I explained to her as her smile widened and she looked up at me.

  “Is he single?” she laughed as she stood up and went toward the mirror to refresh her lipstick and check her hair.

  “Josh is single and a great guy. Anyone who ends up with him will be the luckiest person I know.” I laughed as I went toward the mirror to check my own make-up.

  “You haven’t asked about Andrew.” Her eyes cut to mine in the reflection and back again.

  “I don’t have anything to ask, Emily. I don’t know…I just don’t know. There are so many things I want to ask, but you shouldn’t have to give me answers and I would never put you in that position.” I tried to explain to her how I felt without lashing my pain and anger towards her.

  “I don’t know everything that happened between the two of you before we moved but I know he hasn’t been happy since y’all were together. He is the most stubborn person I know, but I hope you at least give him a chance to talk to you. Hopefully, he will explain his actions.”

  “I think we should go out and listen to some good music, I’ll have a few drinks—sorry, kiddo—and we can see where the universe takes us. I gave up fighting a long time ago and I just want to be happy. I came here tonight to have a good time and that’s exactly what I plan to do. Are you with me? Ready to tear the dance floor up?” I asked, suddenly deciding to go out and shake my ass and remind Andrew what he threw away.

  We may have crossed paths, but I knew I wouldn’t even be aware of where he was if Josh and I hadn’t wandered into his gym and Josh put two and two together. Now, I want him to realize that the person who walked into this roadhouse tonight isn’t the same person he knew all those years ago. I may carry only half my heart but I plan to make that enough, at least for tonight.

  We made our way back to the table, Emily sitting next to Josh and leaving an empty chair next to Andrew. He pulled my chair out, and as I began to sit down he leaned into my back and I heard him take a huge whiff of my hair as he whispered. “I’ve missed you so much.”

  I fought the urge to throw myself into his arms and smother him with kisses, knowing my heart would be his again and I would be gone in a few days. All alone again, with the feeling of his touch branded on my body, and my heart shattered beyond repair.

  “Thank you.” I replied to him pushing my chair in, not acknowledging his prior statement. I grabbed a shot from the center of the table and slammed it back, the whiskey burning my throat as it slid down. Chasing it with a swallow of ice-cold beer, I began to feel the alcohol work its way through my system, numbing the pain I was feeling being so close to him.

  “What are we drinking to?” Cody asked as he a pushed shot glass towards Josh who shook his head and nodded in my direction, the glass suddenly in front of me as he slid one towards Andrew. Josh was enjoying his beer, and since we took an Uber over he can have as much as he wants tonight, yet he seemed to be slowly sipping his drink.

  “To new days and new starts.” Josh smirked as we repeated the toast and slammed back our shots and respective beverages.

  I could feel Andrew’s gaze on me but I refused to look in his direction, fearful that one look would cause my resolve of not talking about our past tonight to waver. I wanted to have a good time and had no doubt that any questions would end in tears, so I kept my head turned away from him as I visited with Emily and Cody.

  Josh kept glancing at Emily and then back to the conversation in general, never once mentioning the elephant that was parked on top of the table in front of us, threatening to ruin the evening.

  Andrew and Caroline and the huge explosion that was bound to happen.

  I finished my beer just as the band kicked off the evening and people started to make their way to the dance floor. I jumped up and grabbed Emily as I pulled her onto the floor, hoping to get some distance between Andrew and I. As we danced and laughed, I could feel his eyes on me and I admit, I put a little extra shake in my hips, enjoying the feeling of power I had, if even for a moment.

  The song changed from a classic rock cover to Luke Bryan’s Shake it for Me when I suddenly felt someone behind me as I swayed my hips back and forth to the catchy hook of the song. I was enjoying the dance partner who had decided to join Emily and I when I felt cool air on my back and was suddenly spun around, crashing into Andrew.

  I tried to push back from him as he tightened his grip and began to sway his hips with me, his leg moving between mine as he pushed up, creating a sudden jolt of electricity to explode from my clit, my panties become wet just from the closeness of his body.

  We danced close through the entire song and I tried to pull away when it ended, only to have him pull me back against him.

  The singer announced they were slowing down the music for the couples. The song changed again to an older love song as the paired-off couples filled up the floor and single people made their way to the bar to find more alcohol. I observed as Emily walked up to Josh, she leaned in to whisper something into his ear, causing a smirk to spread across his face. I didn’t worry about them together, knowing Josh would treat her with respect and kindness.

  “Are you going to talk to me, Caroline?” Andrew asked as he put my arms around his neck and drew my body tighter against his. He wrapped his thick arm around my waist, effectively trapping me, the familiar smell of his cologne blanketing me in a haze.

  I looked into his hazel eyes and felt my heart healing and my soul repairing itself. I needed to keep my emotions under control so I responded with a snarky comment, defenses on high alert. “What is there to say, Andrew? You said everything that needed to be said all those years ago.”

  The wounded look that crossed his face made me feel bad for purposely hurting him until I remembered his hateful words, telling me I wasn’t enough for him, and allowed myself to continue. “You didn’t want to listen to me then so why does it matter what I have to say now? You don’t need to worry about me, I’m fine.”

  “I’ll always worry about you, but I need you to listen to me.” He started to explain so I forced my hands to his chest and shoved him away from me.

  “I don’t care. Save your breath, Andrew. I didn’t come here tonight with the intention of rehashing past mistakes. I came to have a good time, so please let go of me so I can go have a good time…somewhere else.” I replied as I turned and started to walk back towards our table, fear forcing me away from him.

  He grabbed my arm and spun me around to him, our bodies aligned, as he slammed his mouth to mine, kissing me like his life depended on it. On instinct, my hands moving up his rock-hard chest and wrapped around his neck, making my way into his hair as he grabbed my ponytail, forcing my head back so he could deepen the kiss. He slowly began to kiss along my jaw and down to my neck, whispering words of devotion as he nipped and bite at my throat, drenching my panties and making my clit throb.

  Andrew and I had learned all we knew about lovemaking with each other, and the feeling of his lips on my skin was making my heart and mind agree that I needed Andrew on a primal level I hadn’t felt with anyone else, ever.

  The walls around my heart were beginning to weaken when he pulled back and looked into my eyes, a smile on his face that told me he was feeling the same electrical spark I was feeling. “Caroline.” He simply said before leaning over and giving me a gentle kiss, as he placed his forehead against mine.

  “I need to go. Please, Andrew. Let me go.” I pleaded with him. Being this close, experiencing his kisses, was making me feel something I hadn’t felt in a long time. Hope. I couldn’t risk my heart so I did what I did best, I ran to avoid confronting my feelings.

  “I can’t let you go, not again. Not when I just foun
d you. Can we sit down and have a drink, maybe talk a little? We can talk about whatever you want, I just want to spend time with you.” He made space between us and took my hand to walk back to our table.

  Andrew and I sat down as Josh was coming back to the table with Emily. Cody was nowhere to be found. I grabbed another beer as I listened to the small talk that was happening around us, our table quiet in comparison.

  Josh broke the uncomfortable silence by asking Emily about her college choices as we sat back and listened to her pros and cons of the three schools she had narrowed her choice down to. I looked at Andrew and noticed his eyes didn’t shine like they used to, a feeling of regret showing deeply. Regret for what, I don’t know. I could tell something was causing him pain but I’d had too much to drink to dissect it tonight.

  Sensing his pain, I reached out and took his hand into mine. A look of surprise overtook his face before he brought my hand to his lips and placed a gentle kiss. He kept ahold of my hand as we took turns dancing, laughing and enjoying drinks, never talking about the past or even our current lives. We kept the conversation neutral all night, laughing about our gator adventures today and some of the shenanigans that we had gotten into when we were kids. As it started getting close to midnight, I found myself yawning, a result of our early morning start with the swamp adventure.

  “I think I may be ready to order an Uber, Josh. Do you want to stay or are you going to head back with me?” I asked, Andrew’s hand jolting at my declaration and gripping me tighter.

  “I think I’m ready too.” He pulled up the app and placed the order. “It will be 20 minutes with all the people needing them this late. Do you want to dance while we wait, Emily?” Josh asked as she jumped up and eagerly agreed, following him to the dance floor.

  “Do I need to worry about her with him?” Andrew asked me as we watched his little sister dance with Josh, someone who was eight years older and almost a foot taller than her. They make a cute couple, I thought to myself.