Cursed or Blessed

by A. L. Martin

  I eased my way over to the object, moving my foot side to side in front of me to help guide where I stepped. When I got within a few feet, I could see it was a black and white tennis shoe. I went to move a little closer, and I was back in my room. I stared up at the ceiling, thinking about the vision and knowing that there was another person dead. I couldn’t figure out why I wasn’t getting the whole picture of the vision like I had in the past. I glanced over at Rylee’s picture, wishing she was here to give me advice on what I needed to do.

  I wanted to make sure Sophie was okay, but I didn’t want to text her. Then again, I didn’t want to drive over there either, ad risk having to deal with her stepmom if she was still at the house. I managed to get up long enough to change into my pj’s and turned my electric blanket on low. I waited for it to warm up a couple of minutes, then crawled into my nice warm bed. I rolled over toward my nightstand, grabbing my journal and pen. I hadn’t written anything down about my visions the past couple of times. I wrote down everything new that I had seen in them, which wasn’t much.

  I grabbed my phone to see if there were any texts from Braedon or Sophie. I even sent Alexina a text in hopes she might actually send one back, but I got nothing in return. I started looking at pictures on my phone of us from the past few weeks. I started with right after we met to right before the party. I was scrolling so fast through them but was able to see something on one of them. I went to go back to it and ended up scrolling past it again. After a few seconds of going back and forth on my phone, I finally came to the picture. I sat up in my bed, staring at the picture. I went to get out of bed, but I couldn’t move any part of my body. It was like the bottom sheet had attached itself to my legs. I opened my mouth to scream for Mom, but a faint whisper escaped my lips. I sat there not able to move my eyes away from my phone, and the thumping of my heart echoed in my ears.

  It took everything I had to find my voice so I could scream for Mom. She was up there in a matter of seconds, even though I knew it was a little longer. My door handle slammed against my closet door when she flung the door open. In between breaths, she tried to ask me what was wrong, but I couldn’t answer her. She walked over to my bed to see what had my attention and was confused as to why I had the picture enlarged, looking at someone’s hands.

  “Okay, you screamed in horror over a hand with black nail polish.” She stood back up about to walk out of my bedroom.

  “Not any black nail polish,” I whispered, then looked over at my mom standing by the door.

  “What is so significant about the nail polish?” she asked.

  I looked back down at my phone staring at the black nail polish. “I know where Alexina’s at.”

  “That’s a good thing,” Mom said, as she turned to walk out my bedroom door. She froze in my doorway with her hand on my doorknob. She glanced over her shoulder toward me.

  “What did you say, Karsyn?” Her voice quivered.

  I turned away from my phone. “I know where Alexina’s at.”

  She stepped back into my room, closing the door. “How do you know where Alexina’s at? You haven’t seen anyone’s face in your visions have you?”

  “This is the same nail polish I saw in my vision about 30 minutes ago. I know what I saw.”

  “I need you to be positive. There is a good chance the girl in the vision isn’t Alexina.”

  “Mom, I am sure. Now, I have to figure out what to do about it. Do I stay quiet, or let people keep thinking Sophie had something to do with Alexina’s disappearance? If I do decide to let people know about my visions, then everything else will come out. Then, I risk losing Braedon, and I don’t know if I could handle losing him.”

  “Karsyn, you need to be honest with him before he finds out from someone else. It may take him a little while to adjust to knowing you have visions and this is understandable. It is a lot to process for someone that hasn’t been around you their whole life. First, you have to be absolutely sure the girl in your visions is Alexina. If you are 100% sure, then you have to decide whether to say something or remain quiet. Your dad and I are here for you and will support you in whatever you decide to do. Are you sure you want to go through all that again?”

  “No, I’m not sure, but I can’t watch a friend get blamed for something she didn’t do. I don’t know what to do,” I grabbed my pillow, sinking my face into it.

  “I’m going to go back downstairs and let you get some rest. I’m not going to say anything to your father yet. He will panic and try to move us again. We can’t keep running. Try to get some sleep. Maybe things will be clearer in the morning. Love you.” She pulled the pillow away from my face and kissed my cheek.

  “Love you too. Night, Mom.”

  Mom closed the door behind her as she went back downstairs with my dad, probably coming up with a quick lie to tell him for why I screamed earlier. I knew she wouldn’t tell him the truth. That was one of the things I loved most about her.

  Chapter 12

  I sat at my vanity, looking at the dark circles under my eyes from the lack of sleep. I knew I couldn’t cover them up, so I yelled for Emerson. It took her about ten minutes to come see why I yelled for her.

  “What the hell, Karsyn? You look like shit,” she said, grabbing the concealer and highlighter from my makeup tray. “I don’t know if I will be able to cover up the dark circles, but I’m going to try. Did you get any sleep last night?”

  “I got maybe an hour at the most. I had a lot on my mind with everything going on. Thank you for coming in here to help me,” I said, looking up at her.

  “You’re welcome. What is going on, Karsyn? You haven’t looked this tired and stressed out since before we left Evansville. I know something is wrong. I heard you scream last night. I also know that is probably had to do with your vision. Does Mom know at least?” she asked, dabbing concealer under my eyes.

  “Yes, Mom knows. You are right it has to do with my visions. No, Dad doesn’t know and can’t find out. Do you understand? Dad would pick up and move again, and I don’t want to move from here.”

  “So, it really does have to do with your visions?” She straightened up, looking down at me, holding onto the makeup sponge.

  “You know where Alexina is, don’t you? What are you going to do?”

  “Yes, I know. I don’t know what I’m going to do. If I go to the police, then they will more than likely think it is a confession. Then, it starts all over again. I don’t know if I can go through something like that again.”

  Emerson went back to trying to cover up the dark circles so we wouldn’t be late for school. Today, I didn’t care if we were late. I wished I didn’t have to go to school and face Sophie. I didn’t know if I would be able to face her without telling her everything. How would I be able to face her, knowing I could possibly help her but was instead being selfish keeping my visions a secret for as long as possible?

  “I did a pretty good job hiding your dark circles. Don’t rub at your eyes if at all possible today. I’m sorry that you have to deal with this, Karsyn. I hope you can figure out what to do before your secret comes out.” She wrapped her arms around my neck, giving me a big hug.

  “Thanks, Emerson. I have to decide fast. I know my time is running out,” I said, looking in the mirror as I got up. I told Emerson to go finish getting ready real quick so I could take her to Starbucks before school. I turned back toward the vanity mirror and moved my head from side to side, admiring the amazing job she did on my eyes. I grabbed my stuff and headed out of my room to find Emerson walking toward my room with her things. Emerson looked older than a 14-year-old with her hair pulled up in a messy bun, ripped jeans, and a tight long-sleeved shirt. We went downstairs and yelled bye to our parents as we headed out the front door. We were able to stop off at Starbucks and pull into the school parking lot before the first bell rang. Emerson thanked me for her iced coffee, then went to join her friends that were headed toward the school.

  I sat in the Jeep for a few more minutes watching ever
yone as they made their way to the school. I couldn’t help but regret getting close to Sophie and Alexina. If only I had stuck to my promise, none of this would be happening right now, and I wouldn’t be worried about losing Braedon. The guilt flooded over me like a tidal wave for regretting being friends with them. I grabbed my stuff and walked to the school entrance.

  “Karsyn, I’m so glad you are here. Last night was the absolute worst after we got home from your house,” Sophie said, walking up beside me. “By the way, your eyes look amazing. Did Emerson do your makeup before school?”

  “Thank you. Yes, I didn’t sleep good last night, so she helped me cover up my horrible dark circles. What happened last night after you got home? I wanted to text you last night, but I figured you were dealing with your dad and stepmom. I am surprised you are here today, to be honest. I’m glad you are here though.”

  “Omg! I can’t believe I almost forgot to tell you! I got a message from Alexina last night when I got home. She is staying with a friend for a few days that live out of town. I got up early and went by the police station to show them the text from Alexina.”

  “So, Alexina is fine. That is great news! I tried texting her last night, and she didn’t send one back. What happened last night with your dad and stepmom?”

  “Well, Dad finally told Catrina to get out of the house last night. He told her he could never forgive her for how she treated me yesterday. So, she and the boys left late last night. I’m glad the bitch is gone. I do miss my little brothers though, but I know Dad will get them as much as he can.”

  “I’m glad your dad kicked her out. What she did to you yesterday was unforgivable. I need to get to class. I will see you later.” I hugged her. I walked to my class, letting out a huge sigh of relief.

  I had to tell everyone about my visions, but I knew what it would cost me in the end. I wasn’t ready to take the chance of losing Braedon. He was everything a girl could ask for in a guy, and I couldn’t lose him.

  ****

  “Hey, Beautiful.” Braedon gave me a quick kiss. “Everything okay?”

  “Yeah. I didn’t sleep good last night, and I think it’s starting to catch up with me.”

  “Let’s go see if there is anything good for lunch,” he said, opening the cafeteria door for me. He took my hand in his as we made our way toward the lunch line, glancing over shoulders to see if anything looked good. Of course, we weren’t surprised when it looked horrible. Braedon and I decided on salads. We went and sat with Sophie at our usual table. I looked at the tables around us as kids snuck glances over their shoulders, whispering to the person next to them. I found myself glaring at Blair and her minions, who were seated a couple tables over to the left of us.

  “What the hell are you looking at?” I yelled over the kids seated between our tables.

  “Excuse me, Freak! Did you say something?” Blair said, walking over towards our table. “If I were you, I’d sit down and shut the hell up. You are the last person to be yelling at anyone.”

  “What are you babbling about, Blair?” Braedon said, standing up beside me.

  “You mean Karsyn hasn’t told you? Why am I not surprised?”

  “Blair shut the hell up and go back over to your own table. Your minions look lost with you over there barking orders at them,” Sophie said.

  “Laugh now, because I guarantee you won’t be laughing in a few minutes.” She glared at all of us.

  The trembling in my legs forced me to sit down in my chair. I knew what she was about to say, but each time I tried to say something, the words wouldn’t come out. I grabbed my phone and sent Kurt a text, telling him that everything was about to come out. I knew one he read the text he would be on the next flight.

  Blair stood there with a slight closed-lipped smile on her face, looking at her nails. You could see that she was enjoying the suspense. “Well, you are all probably wondering what I am talking about, so I’m going to tell you. Karsyn has lied to both of you. Haven’t you, Karsyn? Do you want to tell them, or should I?” She looked down at me her eyebrow raised.

  “Blair, please,” I whispered.

  “I can see you aren’t going to tell them, so I guess I will have to do it.” She flipped her hair back. The smile on her face looked like one of those evil grins you see in cartoons.

  “Blair, just say what you have to say so you will leave us the hell alone!” Braedon snapped.

  “All right, since you are being impatient.” She looked down at me. “Seems your new girlfriend has a secret she has been keeping from everyone. Isn’t that right, Karsyn?”

  I sprung to my feet, flipping the chair backward on the floor. “All right Blair, you win,” I sighed. I wanted it to come from me, and not give Blair the satisfaction of revealing my secret. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath in, and exhaled slowly, opening my eyes. “Blair’s right. I have been keeping a secret from both of you, but it’s not what you think. I was going to tell you both, but I became selfish.”

  “Selfish?” Braedon questioned. “Karsyn, what are you talking about.” He reached for my hand. I stood there looking down at our hands, wishing I had more time. All I had ever wanted was to be normal and not have to worry about people being scared of me.

  I stood there, still staring down at our hands. “I was hoping to tell you soon, in my own way. There is a reason why my family moved here to Charlottesville almost two months ago. Something horrible happened in Evansville, and people tried to blame me for it because of what I can do.”

  Braedon caressed my cheek. I turned my head slightly and kissed part of his hand. I pressed his hand softly against the side of my face. I wanted time to stop, so I could have this moment forever, and not have to finish telling him the truth. “What can you do?”

  I looked up at him, tears welling up in my eyes. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, but I had a good reason for not telling you. Once people find out about me, they become scared of me and start to avoid me. I can see when people die. Sometimes, I can see their death before it happens.” I looked up at Braedon and his eyes were narrowed. I felt my hand drop down to my side as he took a couple of steps back. My worst nightmare was becoming my hellish reality, and I blamed Blair for it. Braedon ran both his hands through his hair.

  “Why didn’t you tell me any of this? Didn’t you think I had a right to know? That isn’t something you keep from your boyfriend! Damn it, Karsyn! I need to get out of here, and don’t follow me either!” he shouted.

  He stormed out the cafeteria doors. I looked down at Sophie, sitting there with her mouth open, staring up at me. I could see she was trying to process everything that I just told Braedon.

  “Sophie, say something. Please.”

  “Say something! What the hell do you want me to say? I trusted you!” She stood up, gathering her stuff, then ran out the doors too.

  I stood there, tears streaming down my face, looking around at everyone staring at me. It would be all over the rest of the school by the end of the day. I looked to my right. Blair was laughing with her minions. It took everything I had to not walk over there and punch her in the damn mouth. I gathered up my things and ran from the cafeteria to the office to let them know I was going home for the rest of the day.

  I hurried out to my car and texted Emerson to let her know I was leaving for the rest of the day. Before I could even pull out of the parking lot, Emerson was running towards me, waving her hand. She jumped in the Jeep and wrapped her arms around me.

  “One of my friends was in the cafeteria and texted me what happened. She wanted me to tell you that she isn’t scared of you and that she hopes you are okay. I’m so sorry, Karsyn. She told me that some bitch forced you to tell Braedon about your visions. Are you okay to drive? I can call Mom if you need me to.”

  Emerson leaned back over to her seat, and I began to sob uncontrollably. She calmed me down enough to where I could pull into the parking spot. Mom showed up at the school about 20 minutes later. Mom helped Emerson put our things in the car, th
en came back to help me out of the Jeep. I knew she was talking to me, but I couldn’t hear her over my crying. I didn’t want to leave my Jeep there at school for the fear someone might do something to it. Mom put me in the passenger seat, and Emerson sat directly behind me in the back seat. Each time I tried to talk to Mom on the way home, tears ran down my face, dripping onto my hands resting in my lap. Once they got me in the house, Mom helped me up the stairs and to my room. I sat on my bed crying while Mom got my shoes off.

  “Karsyn, do you want me to stay in here with you for a little bit?” Mom asked, her voice shaky.

  All I could do was nod my head yes. Mom was able to get me calmed down so she could find out what happened at school. I told her that I was forced to tell Braedon about my visions. She told me she heard part of the story from Emerson on the way home, and that some girl by the name of Blair threatened to tell him about me.

  “Karsyn, I’m sorry he didn’t take hearing the truth well. Give him a couple of days to think about things. Maybe he will come around once he’s had time to think it through.” She ran her hand over my hair as tears fell onto my pillow.

  I knew he wouldn’t be back in a few days. I wasn’t honest with him about who I was, and he had every right to be mad at me. I should have listened to everybody and been honest with him from the start, but I got so wrapped up in wanting to be a normal 18-year-old. I shouldn’t have been so selfish and kept to my word about getting close to anyone.