Saxon's Soul (Haven, Texas Book 5)

by Laylah Roberts

  He nodded. “You need to think about it. It’s not a light decision.”

  “Peggy has been good to me. I couldn’t just leave her in the lurch.”

  “Understandable. I admire loyalty. But just think about this, I’m offering you an opportunity to further your skills. You have talent. You just need to fine-tune it. You’re not going to have that chance slaving away at the diner.”

  She wouldn’t say she was slaving away. But she did understand what he was offering. And she couldn’t turn him down without thinking it through.

  “Thank you. I appreciate the offer.”

  “I’ll give you a few days to think it over.”

  She took her plate over to the sink. “Oh, and, Aspen?”

  She turned back to look at him. “Yes?”

  “I spoke to Hannah today.”

  She froze. “You did?” Shit. She should have considered that might happen. Why hadn’t she called the other woman and warned her? Asked her to cover for her?

  “Yes, and, interestingly enough, she had no idea what I was talking about when I thanked her for picking you up this morning.”

  She licked her dry lips. “Did I say Hannah picked me up? I meant—”

  “Don’t bother to lie to me, little one,” he told her in a low voice. All hint of warmth was gone. “That’s only going to dig you a bigger hole. Now, I’m going to give you one more opportunity to tell me how you got into town today.”

  Her shoulders slumped. Shit. “Fine, I hitched a ride. But it was with a nice elderly couple. I wasn’t in any danger.”

  “Not in any danger? Do you seriously believe that? Are you that naive you don’t realize that just because someone looks harmless doesn’t mean they are? What if they’d had a gun? What if they’d attempted to rob you?”

  “Haven’t got much worth stealing.” She attempted to lighten the mood.

  His gaze narrowed, and she felt like a deer caught in the headlights. “Not the point and you know it. I specifically warned you against hitch-hiking or trying to walk into town, didn’t I? Not only did you ignore my warning but you also lied to me. Several times. You’re in a world of trouble, little girl.”

  A shiver raced over her skin. “Trouble?”

  “Yes, trouble. You’re asking for a spanking.”

  Her eyes widened. “I most certainly am not.”

  “Oh, you are. You need a deterrent for the next time you decide to put your life in danger.”

  She held a hand up, even though he hadn’t made a move towards her. “Might I point out that you have no right to dictate what I do? Or to-to spank me.”

  She didn’t know what to feel. Embarrassed. Horrified. Aroused. That last one terrified her more than anything else. Because she couldn’t help but feel curious about what it would feel like to be spanked by him. To be held over his knee, her ass bared while he slammed his hand down on her defenseless buttocks.

  Okay, obviously she’d been living in this town too long if that thought aroused her.

  “You know the rules of this town as well as I do,” he told her. “The women of this town are closely guarded and any infringement of the rules results in a trip over their husband’s knees.”

  “You’re not my husband.”

  “The unattached females are still held to the rules.”

  “Yes, but that doesn’t give you the right to spank me! Jake’s in charge of enforcing the rules.” And she knew the sheriff certainly wouldn’t spank her. Although the scolding he could deliver might well make her wish for the spanking. Jake felt very protective over this town and its residents. Especially the women. He probably spanked his own wife when she disobeyed him. Although that didn’t seem to worry Molly. She clearly loved her husband.

  “Well, Jake’s not here at the moment, is he? So I guess your misbehavior will need to be corrected by someone else.”

  “I’m not a naughty schoolgirl.”

  “No. You’re not. Although that scenario is always a very popular one at the club.”

  “What? It is?” She had another vision. One of her in a short, pleated skirt and Saxon with a ruler in his hand.

  Oh, fuck. She was so screwed up.

  “Then it would fall to Duncan, wouldn’t it? Seeing as he’s in charge while Jake’s away.”

  Saxon nodded his head. “Well, I can certainly go talk to him. Don’t think you’ll like his lecture any more than you would Jake’s. And I’m not convinced that a stern talking to is enough to curb your rebelliousness.”

  “I am not rebellious!” If anything, she’d always been well-behaved. She’d never really broken any rules. Hadn’t dared to in case she found herself in trouble. As a child, she hadn’t wanted to bring the cops’ attention to her, or that of social services. As an adult, well, those fears hadn’t really changed. And, truth be told, the last thing she wanted was to be pulled into the sheriff’s office for a lecture.

  But that didn’t mean she was going to let Saxon get away with thinking he was in charge of her. “Look, I brought you the pie as a peace offering. If you don’t want to accept it, we can go back to butting heads. But I am not your submissive. And you are not punishing me.”

  He merely smiled. “We’ll see. Make sure you let me know about the job. And be careful driving home. You look exhausted.”

  She shook her head in exasperation, torn between wanting to shake him . . . and wanting to do things to him that she really, really shouldn’t.

  4

  Enough was enough.

  He walked into the diner, scowling at anyone who tried to approach him. He wasn’t in the mood for talk.

  Three days. Three days had passed since he’d offered Aspen a job. Since he’d damn near taken responsibility for her. Shocked by how protective he felt over her, he’d decided some space was a good idea. He needed some perspective. She was nothing like the women he usually went for. But there was something about her that made it hard for him to stop thinking about her.

  He was surprised she was avoiding him. And it annoyed him. He knew he was being a hypocrite. It was okay for him to stay away from her, but not for her to do the same?

  No. It wasn’t.

  He moved up to the counter of the diner, ignoring the scowl Logan Ferguson sent his way. Normally he’d delight in tormenting the other man. But, right now, he was on a mission.

  “Saxon, what can I get for ya?” Peggy asked.

  “Where’s Aspen?”

  Peggy frowned slightly. “She’s sick today.”

  Sick? Worry filled him. “Sick? What’s wrong with her?”

  “I don’t know. She hasn’t come in the last few days. I was going to go and see her after I closed up today and take her some food. Don’t think she’s got a lot and she has those two adorable boys to take care of.”

  “Box me up three specials of the day. And three pieces of pie. I’ll go visit her myself.”

  He was aware of the look of speculation on the woman’s face.

  “What is it? Out with it. You obviously have something to say.”

  “I know what you did for her with her car. I’m wondering about your interest in her,” the woman said boldly.

  Saxon just stared at her. “I don’t believe that’s any of your business.”

  Peggy straightened her shoulders. “It is when that girl doesn’t have anyone watching out for her.”

  “I’m not going to hurt her.” On the contrary, he felt far too protective of her for his own liking. “And she does have someone watching over her. Me.”

  “Like that, is it?” Logan asked. Damn it, how had he not noticed the other man moving closer? “Thought you only got involved with subs?”

  “It’s not like anything. Aspen needs someone to watch out for her.”

  “And you’re that someone?”

  “I am.”

  Logan drummed his fingers on the counter. “Maybe I better go out there with you. Check on the girl for myself.”

  “Why don’t you worry about your own life and keep your nose out
of mine?”

  Logan laughed then turned away and walked out. Saxon frowned at his wide back. What the hell was that about?

  “Here’s your food,” Peggy told him, and he turned back to pay for it. “Tell Aspen I hope she gets better soon and if she needs anything then she’s to call me. Anytime.”

  “I will.”

  Although, he realized he didn’t like the idea of Aspen calling anyone but him for help. He was in so much trouble.

  Where was she?

  Aspen paced back and forth across the living room floor. Her mother had been missing for three days now and she hadn’t heard from her once. She’d taken the car into Freestown three nights ago and hadn’t returned. Worry churned in her gut. It didn’t matter that she was a crappy mother and they’d never really been close, other than the boys she was all she had left.

  Should she call the police? Maybe. She had to do something. Not only did she have no idea if her mother was all right, but Aspen was stuck here until she returned. No car. No babysitter.

  Fuck. Fuck.

  She heard a car pull up and raced out the door. Relief filled her as she saw her car. Her mother climbed out as another car drove up and parked behind hers. A big man climbed out. He might have been handsome and fit once, but now he was balding with a ruddy complexion, a large bulbous nose, and a fat gut that hung out over his belt.

  “I’ll just grab my stuff, Rex, and then I’ll be ready to go.”

  “Mom, where have you been?” Aspen asked. And what did she mean by grab her stuff? “You’ve been gone three days, I’ve been worried.”

  Her mother still wore the clothes she’d had on three nights ago and she looked a little worse for wear. She stumbled slightly and Aspen got a whiff of mix of sweat and bourbon.

  “You’ve been drinking and driving!”

  “Jeez, always were a genius, weren’t you?” her mother said nastily as she made her way into her bedroom.

  Aspen followed her, watching with a sense of growing doom as her mother grabbed a suitcase from the closet and started packing her stuff into it.

  “Mom, where are you going? Who is that man?”

  “That’s Rex. My new man. We’re leaving.”

  “What? You can’t just leave! Mom?”

  Her mother swung around with a sneer. “Why the fuck not? Rex has money. His old woman croaked and she had one of those insurance policies. Rex wanted to go travelling and he wants me to go with him.”

  “But you can’t just leave! What about me and the boys?”

  She threw her head back and laughed, nearly falling back on the bed. “You and the boys? Why the fuck should I care about any of you? You’re just holding me back.”

  “They’re your grandsons,” she whispered. She’d known her mother didn’t care much about her, but she thought she’d felt something towards Jamie and Caleb.

  “I got better things to do than take care of two squalling kids. Oh, I behaved myself and looked after them while you worked. Figured it was that or you’d kick me out and I didn’t have any place else to go. Now I do.”

  And she didn’t care about anyone else.

  “Mary! Hurry the fuck up!” Rex yelled from the driveway.

  One of the boys cried as he woke up. Just great.

  Her mother patted her cheek as she slipped past her. “Better go see to your kid, Aspen. I brought you back the car so you could get to work. See, I’m not a total bitch, right? Coming, Rex, my love.”

  Eew. She followed her mother out and watched as she climbed in Rex’s car and they drove off in a cloud of dust.

  Despair filled her as she closed the door. Oh, God, what was she going to do? She couldn’t believe her mother had done this to her. Abandoned her. With her arm over her aching stomach, Aspen sat on the couch. Tears filled her eyes, dripping down her cheeks. Another cry came from her bedroom and she quickly swiped at her cheeks. She didn’t have time to fall apart. She plastered a smile on her face and walked in to find both boys awake.

  “Did that silly old man wake you two up?” she crooned, quickly changing them and carrying them out to the living room.

  She set them down on a blanket on the floor, smiling at Jamie as he rolled over onto his back. He giggled, delighted with himself. His brother followed him, both of them laughing together. They were the reason she got up in the morning, what kept her going when times were tough. And they were all she had left of Aaron. Not that she was still mourning him. She knew that they wouldn’t have lasted. He’d been with her to piss his mother off. She’d been with him because he was fun and exciting.

  After his death, she’d been sad and frightened. Especially after learning she was pregnant with the boys. She knew she couldn’t expect much help from her own mother. And definitely not from Aaron’s. What she hadn’t expected was for that bitch to give her some cash and tell her to abort them.

  Knowing she couldn’t stay because she’d never feel like she and her children were safe, she’d fled in the middle of the night in her beat-up car. Her mother had come with her, having exhausted the supply of single males in the area and decided to move on to new territory.

  Seemed she’d found greener pastures now. Only this time she’d left Aspen on her own. Fuck.

  Worry filled her. “What am I going to do?”

  Jamie brought his toes up to his mouth, gumming them. She smiled down at him. “Don’t have any suggestions, huh, short stuff? You’re just happy chewing on your toes, aren’t you?”

  Love welled inside her. How was it possible to feel this much love towards someone else?

  “Who wants some lunch?”

  A few hours later, she was sitting back in the living room having fed the boys when she heard a car pull up. Had her mother returned? A knock sounded on the door. Not her mother, then. She wouldn’t knock.

  “Wonder who that could be?” she said out loud. As usual, they didn’t reply. “You two have got to up your conversation skills if you ever want to get girlfriends.” She thought about that for a moment. “Screw that. Stay silent. You don’t ever need a girlfriend. You can live with your momma forever.” She snorted. “And now I sound like a deranged, overprotective mother.”

  Another knock at the door. This one heavier. More impatient.

  “All right, keep your pants on,” she called out.

  If it was Mr. Peterson asking for rent, she was screwed. She was going to run through her meager savings quickly if she couldn’t work.

  Shit. Shit. Shit.

  Wiping the panic from her face, she opened the door with a huge smile. “Mr. Pet—oh, it’s you.” Her smile dropped from her face.

  Saxon raised his eyebrows. “Please, try to keep your enthusiasm contained. It’s a little embarrassing the way you gush all over me.”

  “I thought you were Mr. Peterson.”

  “And you were disappointed it was me instead. Please, my ego can hardly take the stroking you’re giving it.”

  It wasn’t his ego she wanted to stroke. Oh, shit. She had to stop.

  She ran her hand over her face. She didn’t have the energy for this. Or the patience.

  “You didn’t check to see who was at the door before opening it?” he asked disapprovingly. “You need to always think of your safety first, Aspen.”

  “Why are you here? What do you want? Or did you come just to scold me?”

  “I have to want something to come visit you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Perhaps I came to check that your car is working properly.”

  “It’s fine. Thank you.” Her stomach tightened at the reminder of what she owed him. How on earth was she going to find the money for that? This was a complete nightmare. Panic started to fill her and she took a deep breath. This wasn’t her. She didn’t panic. She was always calm.

  “Is this about the money I owe you? I don’t have it right now, but I swear I’ll get it to you—”

  “Whoa, no. Calm down. I’m not here for money, sprite.”

  Where the hell had that come f
rom? Saxon studied her pale face with no small amount of alarm.

  “Come, sit down before you fall down. Are you not sleeping? Or eating?” If possible she appeared even thinner. He didn’t like it. She appeared far too fragile for his liking.

  He stepped inside and wrapped an arm around her waist. She looked like she needed the support, and he could use the touch to reassure himself she was all right. Although she liked to act tough, right now she was waiflike and pale, with dark circles under her eyes. Due to her illness? She didn’t seem like she had a cold or the flu, but perhaps it was something less obvious. He studied her, wishing he knew her better. He led her over to the worn couch, coming to a stop as he realized they weren’t alone in the room.

  A small face stared up at him, eyes wide, looking very uncertain. Lips trembled as the small boy’s mouth opened.

  “Oh, Jamie, it’s okay.”

  Aspen tore away from him and moved to the little boy, picking him up and settling him on her hip. The child put his thumb into his mouth, sucking furiously as he gave Saxon a suspicious look while tangling his other hand possessively in his momma’s shirt.

  Saxon didn’t blame the little boy for his warning look. Or his possessiveness.

  “It’s okay. This is a friend of momma’s. This is Saxon.”

  “Joel,” he said, surprising himself.

  Her eyes widened. “Really?”

  “Yes.” His voice was clipped, impatient with himself for caring what she called him. Everyone called him by his last name. It was who he was now. But once he’d been Joel. To those closest to him.

  And for some reason he wanted her to be close to him.

  But he regretted his sharp tone when the baby’s bottom lip trembled. Aspen narrowed her gaze at him, and he sighed.

  “Sorry,” he told her and the little boy. “Jamie, huh?” He was completely unused to children. He hadn’t had much to do with them since he was a child. And he had no idea what to say or do. So he just went with his gut.

  “Hello, Jamie, how are you?” He kept his voice low and calm but didn’t make any move towards the little one. The boy just stared back at him, his eyes so like his mother’s it was a little eerie.