Saxon's Soul (Haven, Texas Book 5)

by Laylah Roberts

  Something caught his gaze and he turned his head, eyes widening as a little boy commando crawled his way around the back of the couch.

  “Um, Aspen? There’s another little child crawling toward me.”

  “Are you nervous?”

  He turned back to her, spotting her lips curve up into a smile. Her eyes danced. “You are, aren’t you? Please don’t tell me you’re scared of children?”

  “I won’t tell you that. Because it’s not true.” But it was hard for him to be annoyed when her face had lightened. He liked that in that moment she appeared carefree and happy.

  The little boy made his way steadily towards him, finally reaching his shoe, which he started to drool on.

  “Oh, sorry about that,” Aspen said, moving towards him. “I’ll grab him.”

  He held up his hand in a silent command for her to stay where she was. Then he leaned down and picked up the little boy, holding him straight out from his chest. The boy kicked his feet and grinned at him, clearly enjoying himself.

  “Hello,” Saxon said to him.

  “That’s Caleb.”

  “Caleb. I’m Joel.” He moved him in closer, tucking him against his chest. Caleb immediately reached for one of the buttons on his shirt, trying to bring it to his mouth.

  “He’s teething. He tries to eat everything. I was just about to put them down for a nap. Their nap got interrupted.”

  “Good. Do that. I’ll wait.” Saxon stared down at the little boy. “Do you need any help?” He had no idea what to do but guessed it couldn’t be that hard to put the child in its bed.

  “Uh, no that’s okay. I can handle it.” She moved closer, and he handed over the child with surprising reluctance. The little boy let out a cry, reaching back for him.

  Aspen gave him a shocked look. “He doesn’t usually like strangers.”

  “He has good taste, obviously.” Saxon smiled at Caleb then Jamie who frowned at him. Two very different reactions to him. And both equally amused him.

  “Come on, Caleb. Don’t get upset,” Aspen said, trying to juggle both boys on her hips. Where was her mother? Why wasn’t she helping her? She looked too small to cope with both boys on her own. Without thinking, he reached out and plucked Caleb back out of her arms, settling him against his chest. The little boy immediately stopped fussing.

  Aspen just shook her head. “That is so bizarre. He barely even tolerates his grandma.”

  The perfect opening. “Where is your mother?”

  She closed up, her face shutting down. Interesting. Something was going on with her mother?

  “Would you mind carrying him to the bedroom? I’ll do the rest.”

  “I don’t mind at all.” Funnily enough, he meant it.

  She couldn’t believe she was leading Joel Saxon towards her bedroom. Although not under any circumstances she might have dreamed of. Not that she’d dreamed of it exactly . . . oh, who was she kidding? She’d had several dreams featuring the man walking behind her.

  But, in them, he wasn’t carrying one of her babies.

  He didn’t seem all that used to children. The way he’d picked Caleb up, while careful, hadn’t spoken of experience. But that was actually kind of endearing. He stepped into the small bedroom behind her, and she immediately regretted her decision.

  She was generally a pretty tidy person, but Caleb had kept her awake half the night with teething issues, and when he’d finally slept Jamie decided to wake up. So she hadn’t made the bed, and her nightgown was just thrown on the floor, along with the boy’s pajamas.

  She chewed her lip. “Sorry about the mess. I haven’t had a chance to clean up yet.” She moved around, trying to pick up bits of clothes with Jamie still held in her arm.

  “Aspen, stop.”

  “We just had a rough night. I’m not usually so messy.”

  “Aspen.”

  “Although, I think I said that the other night, didn’t I? So you probably think I’m talking out my butt, don’t you?”

  “Aspen, stop. Now.” The command in his voice made her freeze. Both boys stared at him in shock. Caleb stopped gumming his shirt, pulling back to stare up at him.

  Saxon ran his hand up and down the little boy’s back. “Easy, now. I’m just trying to talk to your stubborn mother. She seems to be adept at ignoring me.”

  She gaped at him. Ignore him? She wished she had a chance at ignoring him. There was no way that was ever happening.

  “I wasn’t ignoring you.”

  “You weren’t listening to me. I don’t care about a bit of mess. You sleep with the boys in your room?”

  “Yes. This is only a two-bedroom cottage. Besides, it’s easier for me to get up with them at night.” She laid Jamie down on her bed and pulled off his diaper, changing him into a clean one. “I’m probably going to have to get another crib soon, though. At the moment, they sleep together.” She gestured to the large, wooden crib. “It’s big enough now but won’t be forever. It was Mr. Peterson’s from when he was a child, can you believe it?”

  He stared at the crib. “Yes.”

  “Well, it is a bit worn. But it was very kind of him to lend it to me.”

  She placed Jamie in the crib and turned to take Caleb from his arms. “Thank you. I’ll take him. You can wait in the living room if you want.”

  She wanted him out of her bedroom. Her nerves were jangling with him being so close in such a tight space. Not that they were on their own. Having two children kind of stopped anything from happening. Not that it ever would.

  When he handed Caleb over, the little boy started to cry again. She jiggled him up and down. “I don’t know what’s gotten into him.”

  Saxon gave the small boy a serious look. “Caleb, be good for your mother.”

  She hid a smile. “You’re really not used to children, are you? Six-month-olds don’t really respond to commands.”

  “Really?” He raised one eyebrow. “Because he seems to be responding.”

  So he did. She stared at the little boy with surprise then shook her head with a small laugh. “So he does.”

  “Hmm.” He ran his finger down her cheek, making her freeze. “Seems like his mother could learn a lesson in obedience from him. I’ll wait in the living room.”

  It wasn’t until he was gone that she managed to shake herself out of the state he’d left her in.

  Really? She could learn some obedience? The man’s arrogance knew no bounds.

  But she was smiling as she turned to place Caleb down on the bed.

  Just what was he doing here?

  Anger filled him as he stared at the cupboards, which, except for some mouse droppings, were empty. And there wasn’t much more in the fridge. What the hell was she living on? All he found were a few bananas, baby formula and some pureed baby food stacked neatly in containers in the freezer.

  Fuck.

  “Something wrong?”

  He turned. Hell. He must have been distracted to let her sneak up on him. “You don’t have any food.”

  She raised her eyebrows. “I didn’t realize this was some sort of inspection. If you’re trying to imply I’m not taking proper care of my children—”

  He held up his hand to stop the tirade. She completely ignored him.

  “Then you can just turn around and leave the way you came. And don’t bother coming back.”

  He stared at her, eyes narrowed. He dropped his hand. Irritation filled him. At the club, holding his hand up the way he had would have sent every submissive in his radius to their knees, awaiting what he had to say.

  Aspen hadn’t even batted an eye.

  He sighed. This is why he had nothing to do with untrained submissives. Hell, Aspen didn’t even know she was a submissive.

  So why was he here, standing in this tiny, rodent-infested kitchen arguing with a female who did not want his help or guidance?

  Because this wasn’t about what she wanted. But what she needed. Help.

  He’d agreed to abide by the rules when he’d mo
ved here. He’d actually laughed when Jake had laid them all out for him. Not that he didn’t agree with the rules. It was a man’s place to protect those smaller and weaker than himself. No, he hadn’t been laughing at the rules, but rather Jake’s beliefs that those rules would be upheld. That people would follow them. That he actually had a hope of upholding them.

  The town had proven him wrong. The people who lived here were different. Not just because some of them chose to be involved in ménage relationships or in BDSM. But because they cared about each other. Because, here, men really did protect all of the women and children.

  He’d only planned on staying long enough to make sure that Jake, one of the few people he cared about in the world, was okay before he moved on. But this place had sucked him in. Haven had healed him after Rebecca’s death. And he figured he needed to give back. It would give balance. So, yeah, he might have interfered a time or two in order to steer people in the direction he figured they needed to go. And they might not necessarily have liked his methods. But they worked.

  But he couldn’t walk away from Aspen now. Whether she liked his methods of helping her or not wasn’t actually of much interest to him.

  Taking care of her was.

  “I’m not here because I think you’re a bad mother. On the contrary, it’s obvious you give everything to your boys.” He studied her pale, wan face. And there wasn’t much left over after that. She was burning herself out. “But you’re no good to them if you don’t look after yourself.”

  She crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m fine.”

  “Sure, you are.”

  “What does that mean?” Her eyes flashed fire.

  He shook his head. “How did I ever mistake you as timid?”

  Red filled her cheeks, and she looked down, her shoulders hunching. “Sorry.”

  Guilt slashed at him. Oh, no. Now that wouldn’t do.

  He stepped forward and took hold of her chin, tilting her face up. “I didn’t say it was a bad thing.” He ran a thumb over her cheek. He hadn’t liked the way she curled in on herself, as though she were ashamed.

  She straightened her shoulders. “Why are you here?”

  “Well, it’s not to condemn you as being a bad mother or to collect on an imagined debt—”

  “It’s not an imagined debt.”

  “Please don’t interrupt me,” he reprimanded in a soft voice.

  She stared up at him for a moment, looking unsure. “Sorry.”

  “I’m here because you haven’t been at the diner. Peggy said you’ve called in sick for the last three days and I,” was concerned, “thought I should check on you.”

  She licked her lips. “I’m fine.”

  “I wouldn’t say that exactly.” He ran his gaze over her, and she stiffened, throwing her shoulders back with a frown. Better. “But you don’t seem ill. Have you been lying, little girl?”

  “No.”

  He ground his teeth together. Then forced himself to walk over to where he’d laid the bag of food he’d brought from the diner. He pulled out the cardboard containers filled with food.

  “These will be cold by now but should be okay once they’re reheated.”

  “Oh, you didn’t have to bring food with you.” But she moved over and grabbed a container and popped it into the ancient microwave.

  “Considering the state of your cupboards, it seemed I did,” he growled back. “Why don’t you have any food?”

  She stared at the microwave as though willing it to cook faster. “I’ve been sick, remember? Haven’t had time to get to the market.”

  “I thought you said you were fine.”

  “Now I am.”

  Had an answer for everything, didn’t she?”

  He leaned against the table as she opened the microwave door. “You know all this lying is going to get you is a red bottom, right?”

  “Ouch!” She placed the hot dish quickly on the counter, waving her fingers in the air to cool them.

  He stepped over and grabbed her hand, gently guiding her over to the sink.

  “They’re fine, it was just a little hot.” She tugged at her hand. He ignored her, pulling her sore fingers under the cold water.

  “They’re red and painful,” he snapped at her. “Must everything be a fight with you, Aspen?”

  “Maybe I wouldn’t fight you if you asked me instead of turning everything into a command.”

  “Most people just do as I tell them.”

  “I’m not most people.”

  “You will be.”

  She just gaped up at him, her mouth open. He smiled. “Finally turned you speechless, have I? Good. Now stay there while I heat some more food up.”

  He put the other container in the microwave, figuring he had at least thirty seconds before she rallied.

  He grabbed some plates out of the cupboard. She turned off the tap and wiped her hands on a towel. “You have no right to come in here and throw your weight around. I don’t need any help. Especially not from you.”

  He raised his eyebrows as he grabbed the towel from her to pull the hot container out. Then he plated the food. “You know that putting yourself in danger is against the rules of Haven.”

  She blew out a breath. “I don’t know what fantasy you have running in your head, but the only danger I’m in is cabin fever. I don’t need any help. And what I do is none of your business.”

  “I’m making it my business. I’m making you my business. You’ve been warned.”

  He placed the plates on the table, along with some cutlery. Then he sat.

  She blew out a breath, watching him, her hands on her hips. “Saxon—”

  “No. That’s enough. I don’t want to hear any more lies. Until you start being honest with me, I’m not listening. Sit down and eat.”

  “This is my house.” She smacked her hand down on the table, then looked down at her palm, as though shocked at her behavior.

  “Sit. Eat. Now.” Great, he’d been reduced to one-word sentences.

  As though sensing he’d reached the end of his patience, she sat. He slid a plate of food in front of her. She stared down at the mashed potatoes and meatloaf. “Is Peggy doing okay without me?”

  “She’s worried about you. She was going to come visit you today and bring you some food.”

  “Oh.” She looked surprised at that.

  “You didn’t think anyone would be worried about you?” Where the hell had she lived before? Had no one ever concerned themselves over her care?

  She ran her hand tiredly over her face. “I figured she might be getting annoyed. Might think about hiring someone else.”

  “You’re a good worker. No reason why she would. Unless you don’t plan on going back.”

  She just stared at him, and he could see he’d nailed the problem.

  “You’re not planning on going back, are you?” he asked gently.

  She hadn’t eaten yet, and that gnawed at him. His dominant side insisted he feed her, ensure she was healthy and strong. And then discipline her so she knew neglecting herself this way was not allowed.

  But he figured in order to take care of her, he needed to know what was going on. Answers first. Then food. And sleep. He saw the way she swayed in her seat.

  “I can’t.”

  “Why not? Does it have to do with your mother?” There was no sign of the other woman in the house. “Where is she, Aspen?”

  Her eyes were wide, haunted. “She left.” There was a lost quality to her voice. A childish note.

  “Where did she go?” And what the fuck had she been thinking? Aspen was barely holding things together. How did her mother expect her to keep doing it all on her own? How could she hold down a job without someone to care for her sons?

  And that was it, wasn’t it? She can’t.

  “She’s been gone since the day I made you the pie. She had the car, so I couldn’t go looking for her. So I asked Mr. Peterson if I could use his phone—”

  “You went to old Man Peterson�
�s house?” he barked, making her jump.

  She glared at him. “Yes. He’s not that bad, you know.”

  “Not that bad? One of the Thorson twins ended up with buckshot in his ass after his brother dared him to throw eggs at Peterson’s house.”

  She blew out a breath. “Well, I didn’t have any eggs to throw so I guess I was safe.”

  “That’s not funny.”

  “He’s my landlord, Saxon. He’s not going to take potshots at me.”

  “If he recognizes you. After a few bottles of homebrew, I don’t think he’d recognize his own mother.” It burned his gut that she lived here. Relied on others for help when he wanted her to rely on him.

  “And what happened to your phone?”

  “Mom had it with her. We only have one. Usually it stays here at the house in case we need to call someone for the boys, but she forgot and took it.”

  Wow, she really was going for mother of the year, wasn’t she?

  “I was thinking about calling the police when she arrived home earlier.” She smiled. A bright, fake smile designed to draw attention away from the glitter of tears in her eyes. “Turns out she’d found a man. Rex. She just came home to return the car and pack her bags. She expected me to be grateful that she bought my car home. She didn’t even say goodbye to her grandsons. For all her faults, she’s always stuck by me, you know. I thought that even if she was a crappy mother and person she cared about Jamie and Caleb. Turns out I was wrong. I hate when that happens.”

  He reached over and grabbed hold of her hand, unable to stand the way she tried to make light of something that had obviously hit her hard.

  “I guess it was selfish of me to expect her to help me with the boys. She deserves a life of her own. I’ll figure something out. I have my car back, at least. I’m going to be fine.”

  “Yes. You will be.” He would see to that. “You can come work for me.”

  “How does that solve anything? Mrs. Peterson can’t cope with looking after my boys all day. I can’t pay for childcare, it would suck up most of what I earn.”

  “We can work that out. You can have them with you part of the time or I can hire someone to watch them.”

  “You can’t hire someone to watch my children.”