by Liz Lovelock
Before I even register what I’ve written, I hit send and pull my legs up to my chest and place my forehead on my knees. I can’t stop the tears that overflow. Sobs wrack my throat and tear my heart apart piece by piece as every part of me becomes numb.
“Charity?”
I glance up as a sob gets caught in my throat.
Jase stands there, a face of concern staring back at me. “Whoa, what’s wrong?” He sits down beside me, and I cry harder.
“I can’t make it stop,” I wail. “How do I make it stop?”
Large arms wrap around me, and with such ease, Jase pulls me onto his lap, securing me against his chest. I don’t fight it. I need him. Resting my head against his firm chest, I hiccup. My hands cover my face, and I concentrate on my breathing. In and out. You’re not allowed to cry and show weakness. Weakness is for the weak.
Dad’s words shock me to the core. It’s as though he’s standing beside me, whispering them in my ears.
But Jase’s voice is much, much stronger. “It’s okay, Charity. I’ve got you.”
Jase does have me. I inhale a deep breath. His musky scent is intoxicating yet calming. As I concentrate on it, slowly the sobs that wrack my chest subside. “You’re okay. I’m here.” Jase’s comforting words pull me further and further from the darkness that was slowly crawling into my heart and taking over.
Finally, it stops, and all I hear is Jase’s breathing. Pulling my hands from my face, I lean out from his chest and stare at him. His blue eyes shine with unshed tears. “I’m sorry,” I croak.
“It’s okay. I’m just glad I could be here for you. What’s going on? Talk to me. Please,” he begs.
Swallowing, I say, “I’m not sure what to say or how to put it into words. Everything with my father is consuming me.” A lump forms in my throat as I think about the pain I went through under his roof.
“In what way? Did he hurt you?”
I can’t bring myself to say it, so I nod.
Jase’s arms tense around me. “I want to help you get through this.”
“I’m not sure you can. There’s so much emotional damage done. I’m damaged goods. Not good for anyone.”
“Don’t say things like that,” he growls. “You’re so much more than you see.”
Silence hangs in the air between us. I turn to him and steel myself for the bravest confession I’ve ever had to make. “I know this is a bad thing to say, but I’m glad he’s dead.”
Anger slices through me, and I have an urge to hit and hurt something or someone. Red blinds my vision as everything she’s saying sinks in. If that man who claimed to be her father was still alive, I’d probably end up in jail from killing him myself.
“It’s not a bad thing to say. A part of me wants to go and kill him all over again. Charity, I’m so sorry you went through the things you did.” I want to know details, but I’m not sure she’s ready to share them yet.
“I deserved everything. Well, that’s what he said.” She shrugs.
“No, don’t say that. You deserved nothing. If anything, you deserved to be here with your mom and surrounded by people who care about you.”
Her eyes fill with tears. “You care about me?” She sounds shocked.
“You have no idea, Charity. And so does your mom. Please stop listening to the things your father put into your head. They’re not true. Not one of them.”
Her mouth opens slightly. Without thinking, I lean in and gently brush my lips over hers. They’re cold and soft. She sucks in a breath. My hand comes up and holds the back of her neck, and I rest my forehead against hers. Our breaths come slightly quicker. I pull her tighter against me. Her body relaxes against mine.
We stay like this for what seems like a while. The desire to kiss her again is so overwhelming. She pulls back. Her eyes, shining emerald green and wide, stare into mine. The pull is so strong that, this time, I give in and press my mouth to hers again—only, hard this time. She responds by driving her hand through my hair and holding my mouth to hers. Our tongues clash, and our breaths become wild.
Never did I think I’d see her again, let alone be making out with Charity on the park bench. It’s as though all my dreams have come true at once.
Out of nowhere, Charity rears back, her hand coming to her perfectly kissed lips. Her eyes have turned panicked.
“What’s wrong? I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have,” I say.
Charity climbs from my lap and stands in front of me, rubbing her hands over her tights. I stand and take a step closer. She holds up her hand to stop me. I pause, then she says, “I… ah…” She fumbles over her words as her face drops into her hands, and she rubs it furiously. “What am I doing?” Her voice is barely a whisper, but I still catch it.
My focus doesn’t leave her. I want to comfort her, help her though whatever it is she’s struggling with. She pulls her phone from her pocket, and as the screen lights up, the name on top of an unread text catches my attention. Mystery Man. She’s the girl I started messaging last night.
She’s my Mystery Girl. Now her comment about her father makes sense. Her being kept on a short leash and how he obviously treated her.
“Charity,” I start. She should probably know that it’s me she’s messaging.
“I can’t do this.” Without giving me the chance to explain, she turns and runs back in the direction of her home. I should go after her, but she obviously wants to be alone. Maybe Mystery Man might not be such a bad thing. I could possibly be someone for her to talk to. Will she be angry when she finds out it’s me? It’s a high possibility, but I want to be here for her.
Reading her message before, I thought for sure this girl I was texting was in serious trouble. Her tone in the text threw me. Coming upon Charity was a complete fluke. I’m so glad I could be here for her at this moment, even if I did screw it up by kissing her. Stupid move. Praying on her fragile state of mind is not something I’d normally do. But with the way she looked at me and how her plump lips stood out, I couldn’t help myself.
Grabbing my phone from my pocket, I shoot her a quick follow-up message.
Jase: Hey, I need to know you’re okay. Your earlier message kind of freaked me out. Do you want me to call you?
Collapsing back onto the bench, I sigh. What has she gone through? That man has destroyed her confidence. Fathers are supposed to care and give their kids opportunities. Speaking of fathers, at least mine has given me chances at big things. Of course, he’s gone about it all the wrong way. The way he pushes and pushes has filled me with so much anger and annoyance toward him that I hate dealing with him. Charity’s father obviously abused her, and now it’s possible she’s suffering without letting go of the things he instilled in her.
Minutes later, my cell vibrates.
Mystery Girl: I’m fine. Sorry, I had a momentary freak out and became overwhelmed with everything going on.
Jase: I understand. I’m here if you need a friend.
Charity: I’m not sure. I’m not good at opening up about certain things. It’s always just been me having to deal with what I’ve gone through and am still going through.
Jase: I want you to know there’s no judgment here. You need a person. Someone you can talk to without feeling worried or judged. You won’t get either of those things with me.
Charity: Thank you. I really appreciate it. Sometimes strangers make comforting friends. At least I know you aren’t some crazy. LOL My friend who told me about you said you’re a decent one. One of the good guys.
Mental note: Thank Paislee.
Jase: She knows me well. I’ve got you. I’m here anytime you need a friend. Always.
“Hey, Charity, are you coming tonight?” Paislee steps in beside me. It’s been almost a week since my meltdown and kiss with Jase. As good as it felt, it also felt so very wrong. I shouldn’t have allowed it to happen the second time; he tasted every bit as sweet as he is in person. I’m so glad he turned up, though. Who knows how I would have gotten through the breakdown without him?<
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Turning toward Paislee, I say, “I’m not sure.”
I don’t want to face Jase. Him witnessing my breakdown was embarrassing enough. Mystery Man has been fantastic, though. Always checking up on me and bringing a smile to my face daily. My phone vibrates. Pulling it from my jeans pocket, I can’t help the grin.
Mystery Man: Hope you’re having a good day. Don’t forget to smile and have fun.
It’s his regular daily text. Something positive to bring brightness to my day.
“Who’s that?” Paislee peers over and tries to see. I pull it away from her line of sight.
“It’s the guy you’re trying to set me up with.”
“Really? And how’s that going for you both?” she asks. The wicked grin on her face tells me she’s pleased with her matchmaking skills.
“Good. He’s been a great friend. I’m not sure I ever want to meet him. It might ruin everything,” I laugh.
“I doubt that,” she responds almost suspiciously. I’m about to ask her for more information on her cryptic expression when a rumble of laughter fills my ears and causes goosebumps to prickle over my skin.
“Hey, Jase,” Paislee greets the wall of muscles standing in front of us.
“Hey, Pais,” he says then turns his focus to me. “Hey, Charity. What are you girls up to? Are you coming to the game tonight?” His eyes shine when he asks. This game obviously means something to him.
“Of course! We wouldn’t miss you guys smashing Alex’s team, would we, Charity?” Paislee shoves my arm.
“Oh yeah, for sure.” I stumble over my words, not sounding too convincing. It wasn’t on my agenda to go anywhere tonight, but hey, it’s got to be better than sitting around at home doing nothing except drowning myself in thoughts of bad memories.
The kiss with Jase has been on replay in my mind lately. He tasted like fresh mint, and the way his lips moved with mine? It was like they had been waiting their entire life for the electricity that happened inside of me the moment our lips touched. It was so real and so perfect.
A shiver runs down my back. My head whips up and meets Jase’s soft, humorous stare. “I have no doubt it’ll be a great game. Cheer loud for us.” He winks then steps around us. A small part of me wanted him to talk to me more. I guess now isn’t the time to bring up the kiss and my mental breakdown. When will be the right time, though?
“I guess you’ll be at the game now.” Paislee shoves my shoulder playfully against hers while laughing.
Rolling my eyes, I say, “Shut up. I was kind of put on the spot there.”
“Do you like him?” She jerks a thumb behind her shoulder. Spinning around, I catch the back of Jase as he turns into a classroom. His head comes up, and our eyes connect and hold briefly.
“You mean Jase?”
She nods. “No, Mr. McKenzie. Of course I mean Jase, silly.”
Her question surprises me, and I have no clue how to answer. Do I like him? He’s attractive and has a caring side to him. “Um… I don’t look at him like that. If anything, I hardly know him now. It seems we clash more than we actually get along at the moment.” I laugh.
“Why is that?”
Shrugging, I say, “I think maybe I feel a little abandoned by him. We were so close when we were younger. If I wasn’t hanging out with you, I’d be with him. In my young mind, he was the boy I was going to marry when I got older.” A warm sensation spreads through me. “Gee, I must sound like a fool.”
Paislee stops. “You’re not a fool. If anything, I think the years you haven’t been here have been some of your hardest. You’re different from what I remember. You used to laugh so much more. These days, it’s even hard for you to crack a smile. I get the whole ‘feeling abandoned’ thing. Maybe you should talk to him about it?”
I shake my head. “No, I can’t sit here and blame him, even if I wanted to. Really, I’d just like to have a decent conversation with him without it turning into a fight because of me lashing out. He’s done nothing but try to be nice, and I’ve been a bitch.” I shrug, chewing on my lip.
Paislee starts walking again. “Well, I’m sure things will work out with you and him, even as friends. Let’s go have a good night and forget about guys.”
“Yeah, sure. Like hell you’ll forget about guys. Your man is delicious.” I wave my hands at my face as though I feel hot. We giggle and head to our next class.
Jase in regular clothes is a sight for sore eyes, but him in his football uniform has me wanting to pounce and ravish him. The way those tights hug each muscle of his legs is something else, and his body—it’s already huge, but add in his gear, and his size doubles. Watching him run down people from the opposite team has me cringing, but it’s such a rush. I can only imagine what it would feel like for him. He has such talent. His movements are fluid and…well…damn.
“Oh my goodness, did you see Jase smash Alex? I’m sure he’d snap me in half with a drive like that.” Paislee flinches beside me.
“I now know why I’ve never really been into watching sports. It looks like it would hurt too much, and I cover my face every time something looks like it’s going to cause broken bones or draw blood.” I cringe.
Elsie cheers on the other side of me. This girl has got a set of lungs on her. I might be deaf in the ear closest to her after this game.
Cheering for our team to win has been some thrill. I’ve never been to a game, and the girls have had to explain things to me. Well, Paislee has; Elsie is pretty hopeless. She does know when we score, and when we hurt the opposite team, she screams her excitement.
“Look at Jase. Isn’t he delicious in his uniform?” Paislee says as though she read my mind from a second ago.
“Yep, I have to agree with you there,” I say. Elsie and Addison murmur their agreement. Their guys are away for a basketball game, and since Jase invited Paislee to come to the game, we made a thing out of it. I wasn’t keen at the start, but now that I’m here, it’s such an alive atmosphere—one I want to be involved in more. It makes the weight that’s resting on my heart a little lighter.
Glancing down at the field where the players sit, my focus lands on Jase, who is now down on a knee in front of his coach who is talking with them all. He has his helmet off, and the second his eyes land on mine, my heart skips a beat. He grins and gives a small nod. It’s as though a swarm of butterflies has taken up residence in my stomach. I can’t take my eyes from him. His messy blond hair makes him look even sexier.
“Are you making eyes with Jase?” Elsie bumps me, pulling me from the staring contest I seem to be having with Jase.
Shaking my head slightly, I say, “No,” but the flush that warms my face probably tells her all she needs to know.
Elsie laughs. “Oh. My. You do like him.”
“What? No.” My head flicks between her and Paislee on either side of me. Addison leans out and gives me a look that says Don’t lie.
Oh, hell. How did I get myself into this mess? Well, not mess, per se, but I can’t say outright that I’m head over heels for Jase. The sensation swarming in my stomach tells me something I never expected, though. Something I’m not ready to admit, even to myself, let alone the girls.
“Yeah, sure.” Elsie smirks but doesn’t push it anymore.
After the game, we stand around, waiting for Jase to come out. Paislee mentioned that she’s organized for us to grab a bite to eat with him and Blane. Parker, Dane, and Aiden are going to meet us at the place.
It’s crazy to think that I’ve only been here a short while, yet I feel like I belong. These girls make everything a hundred times better. I’ve never had friends like them, and now that I’ve finally found some people who accept me for me and have welcomed me into their group, I know I made the right choice in coming to stay here with Mom. But I needed someone. I had no one. One day, I’ll tell Mom about Dad and what he was like. It’s just too hard to talk about now as it’s still raw.
Laughter catches my attention. I turn in that direction. Jase comes strutt
ing out, his arm draped over another girl’s shoulders. The happiness swarming in my stomach turns sour. The green monster has taken up residence on my shoulder. There’s no reason for me to be jealous. He’s nothing to me, and I’m nothing to him. The kiss meant nothing.
“Oh, there he is,” Paislee says excitedly. “Oh, and he’s got her.” Her lips purse.
“Who is it?” I ask, confused over her reaction.
“A groupie. This one is from Alex’s college. She’s been trying to get Jase for, well, forever.”
“Evening, ladies.” All our heads turn toward the deep voice.
“Hey, Alex.” Paislee smiles, but it doesn’t touch her eyes.
His sights are set on me. A wave of unease washes over me. “What are you girls up to tonight? Want to come to a party at our place?” He throws his thumb over his shoulder toward the full cars of his team members.
“We’re good, thanks. We already have plans,” Addison says with a sweet smile. Now, she is one to watch out for. Her smile says she’s sweet, but her eyes say don’t mess with me. I like her.
Alex takes a step closer to me. I stiffen at his proximity. My back straightens, and I fold my arms over my chest. I take a small step away. “How about you? You look like you could have some fun.” He grins, but it makes my stomach clench.
“Are you always this sleazy? Perhaps you should try taking the answer that’s given instead of trying to force yourself on people who don’t show an interest.” I blurt the words out without thinking. Paislee laughs while Elsie and Addison start slow-clapping.
“Damn, girl. You tell him,” Elsie says.
Alex takes a step back. His eyes actually soften. He raises his hands. “All good. Sorry to bother you. Thought maybe I could persuade you to come see for yourself that I’m not the bad guy people make me out to be.” Surprisingly, he sounds genuine.
“Maybe another time when we don’t have plans,” I reply. The girls’ eyes jump out of their heads. Their mouths hang open a little. The little green monster made me do it. Seeing Jase with the girl kind of flicked a switch.
