Hating You

by Beck, J. L.

  Sagging against the sheets, I bask in the afterglow of my release. My chest heaves, and I’m sure I’ll never catch my breath.

  Parker lands a harsh slap to my ass, and I bite back a yelp at the sting that leaves. “Roll over. I want to see how much you hate me as I claim that tight little pussy.”

  A nervous knot forms in my throat. This is happening. It’s really happening. I’m giving my virginity to a monster, to a man that I hate, but kind of want, all at the same time.

  Rolling over, I find Parker completely naked, his body a magnificent sight. My mouth waters at the sight of his smooth chest, and all the flesh that leads down to his perfectly sculpted ab muscles. Each defined muscle stares back at me, taunting me. I want to reach out and trace his body, paint it like a canvas.

  “See something you like?” He gives me a lopsided grin, and for once, there is a softness to his eyes. My lips move all on their own.

  “You’re beautiful,” I respond, knowing that’s the last thing he expects to hear. It’s probably my hormone-soaked brain that made me say such a stupid thing.

  Crawling onto the bed, he pauses above me, his hulking frame casting a shadow above mine. I grip onto the sheets like they can save me from him. I can’t breathe. I can’t swallow. I’m trapped caught in his heady gaze.

  “Will you still find me beautiful when I plow into you, stealing that fragile cherry of yours? Will you not call me the monster you claim I am? When I fuck you until you bleed?”

  Something has to be wrong with me because while there is a sniggle of fear that forms in my mind, there is a want that overpowers that fright.

  “I’m not a virgin,” I lie, and that response is one that I may regret. A devilish grin appears on Parker’s lips, and I know for sure that I shouldn’t have said that.

  “Okay,” the word rolls off his tongue as he starts to move again. Situating himself between my legs, he reaches out, pinching my nipple between two fingers. The bite of pain zings through me and straight to my core, stoking the fire that he planted there.

  “I’ve dreamt of this day forever, wondering how good it would be. Wondering if it would ever happen. I always thought you were too pure for me, too perfect, but now I see. We’re the same shade of black. One of us just hides it a little better than the other.”

  Twisting my nipple a little harder, I bite into my bottom lip to stifle the cry of pain that his touch brings me. After a moment, he releases his harsh grip on the hard bud, and instead, leans down, his body blanketing mine.

  The warmth of his body is one I crave. I feel cold, so cold. His arms come down to cage my face, and his hulking frame forces me to spread my legs wider to accommodate his size. My heart thunders in my chest, and all I can hear is the pulsing of blood in my ears.

  With Parker this close, I can see the golden flakes in his eyes, the color that I often dismiss because his eyes always seem so dark, cold, and angry. His jaw clenches, and I gulp when his length brushes against my entrance.

  Oh, god. It’s happening. I do my best not to clam up, thinking back to all the romance novels I’ve read.

  Balancing all his weight on one arm, he snakes a hand between our bodies, guiding the fat head of his cock to my pussy.

  “Wait…” My lips tremble, and Parker pauses, just barely, his muscles quivering as he lifts his darkened gaze to my face.

  “Are you having second thoughts?”

  Shaking my head, I force my heavy tongue to work, “N...no, not that. Condom?” I don’t know why I didn’t think of this before. I don’t know how many women he’s been with or what he’s done. God knows I don’t want to catch something from him.

  His eyes burn into mine, and he licks his lips, the same one I feel compelled to kiss right then. “I’ve never gone raw with anyone before. I’m clean...are you on birth control?”

  I shake my head, “I’ve never had a reason to be.”

  “You will now,” he smiles, and those black eyes of his glitter with unbridled desire.

  Rubbing the head of his cock through my folds, gathering up my arousal, he rubs the blunt head over my clit, back and forth until heat starts to reemerge deep inside my belly. Then he moves back down to my entrance. Staring into his eyes, I exhale and wait for the inevitable to take place. With one thrust of his hips, he’s inside, and I can’t stop myself. Pain ripples through my core and I grip onto his biceps, my nails sinking into the flesh.

  The tiniest of whimpers passes my lips.

  I want to mark him, hurt him the way he’s hurting me right now.

  Blood, for blood.

  I’ve never seen him so focused, so consumed. His obsession, his need for me, is fully on display, and it terrifies me because I can see that there is so much more than hate in those eyes of his. There is compassion, want, need, and maybe even…

  Interrupting my thoughts, he grits out through his clenched jaw, “I can feel your pussy trying to push me back out. The resistance against the head of my cock. It’s time for you to give me the biggest gift of all.”

  “Parker…” Exhaling his name on a breath, I swallow down the sting of pain that flutters across my middle as he thrusts all the way inside of me. My nails dig into his skin, making him hiss out, his head tipping back at the feelings rippling through him.

  My innocence is gone.

  Tears fill my eyes, and I blink them away. I don’t want him to see what he’s done to me. See how he’s destroyed me. Made me crave him and hate him all at once. Baring his teeth, he stills, showing me just a sliver of mercy. I don’t know if I should thank him or curse him, but before I can consider either option, he’s moving again.

  Pulling all the way out, he steals the breath from my lungs when he thrusts forward again.

  “Fuck.” He buries his face into the crook of my neck while his lips bristle against my throat. My heart beating so fast, I’m almost positive he can hear it.

  “Part of me wants to be gentle with you, to fuck you with slow leisurely strokes. But the beast in me, the part that’s wanted to possess you since the first day I laid eyes on you, wants to rip and tear. To fuck you hard and fast.” Unable to form a response to what he’s said, a whimper releases from deep within my throat. Pulling back a little, he stares into my eyes, and I already know which part of him has won out.

  Without warning, he thrusts into me, claiming a piece of my fragile beating heart. Like a stone being tossed into a pond, pain rips through me, a scream catching in my throat. Positioning his hips, he fucks without restraint, owning each thrust, forcing me to not only feel but see him as well. I know then, I’ll never be able to escape him, never be able to forget the piece that he took.

  “You’re just as good if not better than I imagined you to be. Tight, warm… so fucking warm.” The words skate across my face, and while each thrust is still painful, there is a deep-rooted pleasure blooming beneath it. It builds, each stroke a match lighting the flames until the heat becomes too much, and I’m sure I’ll burn alive.

  Sweat beads above Parker’s dark brow and his eyes focus on mine. He can see the pleasure building, my hips lifting with each punishing thrust.

  “I knew you’d love the pain that comes with the pleasure. I knew you’d be my queen.” His lips find mine, and he kisses me in a way that speaks volumes of the way he feels for me. Those full lips devour mine, swallowing every cry and whimper.

  While he continues his assault on my mouth, he presses his groin deeper into my core. I’m full, so full, and I never want to forget this feeling. Pulling back, he snakes a hand between our bodies, finding my swollen clit and rubs gentle circles against it.

  “Oh…” I sigh, my back bowing.

  “Come for me, come on my cock, squeeze me so tight that I won’t be able to forget the way you felt falling apart around me.” The friction and his voice are all I need to ignite the fuse of pleasure, and the long-awaited orgasm zings through me. Like a lightning bolt crossing the night sky. I bare down on his cock, squeezing him so tightly, his eyes roll to the bac
k of his head. The pleasure blinds me for a moment, and I soar through the sky like a bird that’s been freed from its cage.

  Then I’m floating, and Parker is owning me, thrusting harder, faster. The headboard bounces against the wall, and my body moves against the sheets. It’s like he’s imbedding himself inside of me. He’s owning you. A little voice chants.

  “I want to come inside you, mark you, claim you, your tight cunt as mine, forever-fucking-mine.” His voice is deep, hinging on anger, but his face couldn’t be any calmer, and against my better judgment, I nod my head.

  “Yes, come inside me,” I whisper, not understanding why I need that.

  With a roar, his movements halt, and he stares at me deeply, a calmness filling his gaze. His hands are clenched fists beside my head, and his body visibly vibrates with pleasure. How I don’t know, but his length seems to grow inside of me, and my eyes widen at the pressure that builds there. And then, I feel it. His sticky seed paints me from the inside out, filling my hole to the brim. I should feel something, knowing that, but I don’t.

  Instead, my eyes grow heavy, all the day’s events hitting me at once. Parker takes a moment to gather his wits, and then he eases out of me. I wince in discomfort but don’t say anything as he walks away from the bed, the sound of his feet filling my ears.

  He’s leaving… he finally got what he wanted. Rolling over, I push the ache between my thighs away. I should leave too, get out of bed, find my clothes and escape before he comes back, but the warmth of the sheets beneath my bare skin feels so nice that as soon as I’m on my side, my eyes fall closed.

  I’ll just lay here for a second…

  One second…

  14

  Parker

  My legs are heavy as I drag myself to the bathroom, leaving her behind in my bed. I can’t believe I just did that. I came inside of her after she told me she wasn’t on birth control. What the fuck was I thinking? That’s just it. I wasn’t, at least not with the right head. I’ll have to get her the morning after pill or something of the like. I can’t have her getting pregnant. My father would kill me, and while I want to ruin Willow’s life, I don’t want to ruin mine in the process.

  Taking out a washcloth from the linen cabinet, I turn the faucet on and wait till the water is lukewarm. Normally, I wouldn’t give two fucks about a chick after sex, but the thought of leaving Willow on the bed after coming inside of her, that doesn’t sit well with me. It causes an ache to form in my chest. She’s not a whore or a sex toy. She’s mine, and I need to cherish her, care for her. With the wet washcloth in hand, I walk back into the bedroom.

  Like a moth drawn to a flame, I’m pulled in her direction. I find she is still completely naked, curled up on her side now. When I get closer, I notice that her eyes are closed.

  Did she go to sleep?

  My suspicion is confirmed when I crawl up onto the bed, and she doesn’t move or react in any way. My gaze moves to her face. Her mouth is slightly open, and her breathing has evened out. She looks completely peaceful, and I know damn well that she wouldn’t look like this if she were awake right now.

  No, she’d be tearing the place apart looking for her clothes while doing everything she could to get away from me. Seeing her like this, I decide I like this side of her more at the moment.

  Gripping her by the hip, I roll her onto her back, watching her face to see if she stirs. As gently as I can, I reach between her legs and clean the residue of sex away. She doesn’t even stir as I wipe her probably tender pussy with the cloth. When I’m done, I look down and find the once white cloth covered in bright red blood.

  Staring at the blood-soaked fabric, the contents of my stomach churns. I knew she was lying. I knew she was a virgin, but it still bothers me. I told myself to pace myself, to go easy on her tonight, but I lost all control as soon as I sunk into her. Reckless. That’s how she makes me feel. With her, I lose all sense of control.

  Disappointment punches me in the fucking gut. I should have been more careful, gentler, even if she didn’t deserve that, especially after yet again, lying to me.

  Why the hell would she tell me she wasn’t a virgin anyway? Did she want me to hurt her? All of these questions are fucking with my head. She’s fucking with my head. I can’t handle this right now.

  My hands shake as I throw the messed up cloth onto the hardwood floor in the corner of the room. The cleaning lady can get that tomorrow. Pulling the blanket from the bottom of the bed, I tug it over both of us and settle onto the mattress beside her.

  Tucking her into my side, I relish in the sensation of having her in my bed. She fits perfectly into my body, like two missing pieces made to fit together.

  At least our bodies are, the rest… fuck, no.

  * * *

  I don’t know what I expected, but waking up to her being gone, surprisingly, wasn’t on the list. Still completely naked, I walk through the house looking for any sign of her, even though I know right away that she is gone. I knew the second I opened my eyes that her presence was missing. How fucked up is that?

  The place felt emptier, colder without her, and that revelation pissed me off even more than the fact that she just left. She snuck out without a word or a note. Like what the fuck? The rational part of my brain knows that I should have seen it coming. I shouldn’t be mad about it. I mean, what did I expect? How else did I see this morning playing out?

  We were hardly going to wake up and enjoy a lovely breakfast together after I took her virginity last night. Something she only gave to me because I blackmailed her into it. Running a hand through my hair, I sigh into the empty house, feeling more alone than I ever have before.

  This is so fucked up, so fucking disturbing. It’s wrong, I know it, and I know Willow knows it, but I can’t stop. I have to make her mine. I have to ensure she sees and feels it.

  Walking into the kitchen, I start a pot of coffee, and then jump into the shower, washing away the evidence of last night from my skin. Once rinsed, I hop out and dry off before slipping into my usual jeans and T-shirt.

  Pocketing my phone, wallet, and keys, I realize just how late for classes I am. Fuck it. I’m only going to be even later because I have to stop by the pharmacy before I go to class. The thought reminds me that I was stupid enough to not use a condom last night.

  Idiot. Thank fuck Willow was a virgin, so I know she doesn’t have shit. She’s pure, clean like fresh snow.

  Grabbing my coffee, I walk outside and head for my car. On the drive to the pharmacy, I start to think of how this is all going to end. There isn’t any happily ever after for us. I can’t be with her. Not like I wanted to before.

  She put my brother in prison or at least was the last nail in his coffin. I’d lose my father’s support, my trust fund, the company. My grip on the steering wheel tightens.

  She’s the fucking enemy, you idiot. Stop thinking with your cock.

  Pulling into the pharmacy parking lot, I run inside and grab the Plan B pill. The girl at the counter doesn’t even bat an eye at me as I pay for it. Though if I were a girl, there would be a rumor the size of Texas spread around Blackthorn before I even walked out of the store.

  Checking my phone, I head to campus, realizing it’s now lunch, and my time to catch Willow in passing is slowly dwindling. I park in the student of deans’ spot and climb the steps to the mess hall. Everyone scurries out of my way, and as the cafeteria comes into view, the sound of silverware and dishes clanking together fill the space.

  My gaze surveys the area and stops when I spot her dark hair and snow white skin. My chest rises and falls like I’ve just climbed ten flights of stairs, and my heart is rocketing against my ribs, threatening to escape from my chest.

  In the corner of the cafeteria, she sits alone, a book open in front of her. Picking up the little triangle sandwich on her plate, she brings it to her lips to take a bite. No better time than now to make my presence known.

  Waltzing over to her, I almost run over some guy in the process. He gives
me a dirty look but doesn’t say shit, probably because he knows better. When I’m only a few feet away, she looks up. Our gazes collide, and a cosmic event takes place. Instead of taking a bite, she puts her food back down on her plate and gives me her full attention.

  Pulling out the chair next to her, I sit down. “I don’t remember telling you it was okay to leave.” I know before she even opens her mouth that she’s full of piss and vinegar today. Maybe I hadn’t fucked her hard enough, after all?

  “So, what? I’m supposed to stay at your house now? Like a prisoner?” Her eyes narrow.

  I lift both shoulders in a shrug, “You are whatever I tell you to be.”

  She shakes her head, and the lie rolls of her tongue so well if I didn’t know the truth, I might believe it, “I had an early class.”

  Overcome with anger, I slam my fist onto the table, making her plate and silverware rattle and everybody within a ten-foot radius jump.

  “Don’t fucking lie to me. All you do is lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. I have your fucking class schedule, or have you forgotten? I know you don’t have a class until four.”

  Tossing her hands into the air, she growls, “What the hell did you expect, Parker? Did you want to wake up while I was cuddled up in your bed?”

  Yes, that’s exactly what I wanted.

  “I wasn’t done using you yet. I had plans for you this morning, and you ruined them.”

  Rolling her eyes, she mumbles, “Sorry, I messed up your plans, I’m sore anyway.”

  Does she think that would stop me? She should know better by now. Her pain is my pleasure.

  “Your asshole isn’t.”

  “I hate you.”

  “So you keep telling me.”

  “What do you want, Parker? I’m assuming you didn’t come all the way here to yell at me about ruining your morning.” Her expression is bored, but I know it’s a mask. How could she be bored when she was writhing beneath me yesterday.

  “Actually, I did. But I also came because I fucked up yesterday, and regardless of how infuriating you are, I fix my mistakes.”