Twisted Heartstrings

by A Kelly Sweeney

  We make our way to the cars that were arranged for us during our stay. But unlike vehicles we've had before, this time we have shiny black Escalades with tinted windows waiting for us. And of course, drivers to take us wherever we want to go. This could have its advantages.

  Lunch is loud and boisterous. I can't help but be sucked into the playfulness they exude. I've missed hanging out with them, even if it's only been a few days since I was last with them. Although Luc would rather keep me to himself, he knows I need the socialization of others. The only thing missing is another girl for girl talk, considering Keri and I won't be able to talk much.

  “So, my sister Jade wants to come out and spend the summer with us. Something about my parents and her roommates going away, and her being stuck at home alone sucking,” announces Jasper.

  I listen as the guys groan about having another woman around. I can't help but smile, knowing it will drive them nuts having to compete for the bathroom and having to be more modest than they are. In my month on tour with them we dropped the modesty like Al figured would happen. They've seen me naked in the bathroom and I've caught them naked. I don't blush anymore when it happens, and Luc is totally ok with me catching glimpses since he knows my relationship with his band mates is purely platonic. I think the dropping of the modesty is where the turning point was for me becoming one of them.

  Feeling Luc's hand tighten on my shoulder where his arm is wrapped around the back of my chair, I look toward him. “What's that smile for, baby?”

  I love how he calls me baby, but I wish he'd have a more unique pet name for me. “Just thinking how much you would hate having another woman around, cramping your style. I'll miss getting to see five hot guys naked all the time. But then again, only one naked guy matters, and I'll get to see that regardless.”

  “Fuck,” he curses under his breath. “Am I gonna have to tell them to start closing the door to the bathroom?”

  I give him a devilish grin. “Nope. There's only one hot, naked body that does it for me. The rest are just eye candy.”

  Leaning over to kiss me, he mutters, “Thank Christ.”

  I pull away, blushing, still not used to public displays of affection, to find the guys grinning at us. “You know when each of you fall, we're going to tease you relentlessly.”

  “Like that'll ever happen, Toni,” says Nicholai. “We're a bunch of playboys who enjoy the single life.” Glancing at Luc, he adds, “Well, at least some of us were playboys.”

  I giggle. “Mark my words, Nic, your time is coming. And I’m going to laugh my ass off when you come to tell us that you've got your knickers in a twist over a woman. If I’m betting anything, Chris is the next to fall.”

  “Me? What the fuck, Toni,” Christoph sputters. “Here I thought you liked me.”

  “You know I love you, Chris, but I have a feeling you're next, and it's going to be sooner than anyone expects,” I reply sweetly, smiling at him.

  “Fuck,” he mutters, pouting while the rest of us laugh.

  “Well, if I get any say it would be nice to have a girl around to talk to. As much as I love you all, sometimes a girl needs another girl. Sometimes we need some estrogen to level out all the testosterone.”

  “Are we really debating my sister joining us and cramping my style?” asks Jasper.

  Al glances between me, Luc, and Jasper before saying, “You know the saying ‘a happy wife, a happy life’. If we are gonna survive being happy, then Toni's right, she needs a little girl time. Besides, our tour is over in July, which means it would only be for a month.”

  Jasper groans. “I love you, sweetheart, but don't make us regret this. My sister can drive anyone up the wall.”

  I laugh. “Gee, I wonder where she gets that from.”

  As we sit laughing and talking, a couple of fans come over to our table and ask for an autograph. They’re beautiful girls, and I admit I was surprised that Luc kept his focus on me rather than paying them any attention, other than giving them an autograph. That's just one example of what I mean, that he doesn't give me reasons to be insecure with our relationship.

  Nic clears his throat. “Um, if we don't get a move on or we're going to be late for soundcheck.”

  “Oh shit,” I say. “I need to run back to the hotel for my camera and my pass.”

  “You don't need them,” replies Al. “Today you can relax and just hang out.”

  “If I’m going to do my job, I do,” I reply. “Y'all did want me handling social media for you. And you've been slacking with the crowd pictures before the show starts for the fans to tag themselves in.” I can't help but laugh at the glare Jas is giving me; I totally had the opening to poke more fun at him and couldn’t pass it up. If I had to admit it, I could very easily fall in love with Jasper if I didn't already love Luc. I just hope Luc never feels threatened by my friendship with Jas if he ever finds out about our past.

  “Ok, let's hurry up,” Al snaps.

  Leaning closer to Luc, I say, “I think your brother has his panties twisted too tight around his balls. That, or he really needs to get laid.”

  Luc's answering laugh earns a glare from Al as he says, “I heard that, Toni.”

  Giggling, I let Luc lead me toward the waiting SUVs. He gives me a toe-curling kiss before opening the door for me to get in first. Knowing that he's just as turned on as I am, I hope we can have a quick fuck before they have to do the soundcheck.

  In our room while the guys are waiting for us, I find myself pressed up against the wall with Luc grinding his hips into mine while kissing me hard. Moaning into his mouth I reach for his belt, but he stops my hands. “Fuck, baby, we don't have time for this, but I want you so badly.”

  “Then fuck me,” I say, panting.

  Groaning, he lifts me and carries me to the bed. Placing me on my feet, he peels my pants down part way before shoving his down enough to free himself. He turns me around and bends me over the bed before thrusting into me.

  “Fuck,” I pant.

  As if he has no control, he powers into me over and over, making quick work of sending us over the edge. It's hard and fast, just how I want it. He's showing my body who owns the pleasure it brings by being with him. I can feel myself tightening around him. My body so close to release, but holding back from slipping over the edge, wanting it to last longer than the quick fuck we’re allowing ourselves despite the others waiting for us.

  “Baby, come. I'm so close with you milking me that way,” his voice is laced in a deep husky tone.

  That pushes me over the edge. My hands fist the comforter as I let out a scream, coming hard. Even lost in my ecstasy, I can feel it as he swells just before finding his own release, slowly rubbing out his orgasm.

  We make quick work of fixing ourselves before grabbing my stuff. Giving me a wolfish grin, I know he won't care if the other guys are pissed that we fucked, since it was quick.

  Sliding next to Al in the SUV, I can't help but laugh as he groans. “Really, Luc, you couldn't wait just a few more hours before fucking?”

  I blush. He must have been able to smell the sex on me. I won't be ashamed of the fact that I love his brother or that we make love. Al should know the fine line that his brother's been on during my absence and how much he's wanted to be buried inside me. And it's not like we have to answer them.

  “Al, you really need to get laid to take the stick out of your ass,” I snap.

  “I'm sorry, Toni, but since we're supposed to be doing soundcheck now, so that things can run smoothly for tonight, my brother should be keeping things in perspective,” he snaps back.

  “Really, Al, you're going to go back to acting like the asshole you were to me when Luc and I first hooked up? Fuck this shit. I thought I was fitting in.” Facing the driver, I demand, “Stop the fucking car, I'm going back to the hotel.”

  “Baby, don't,” Luc says, as he gently squeezes my leg.

  “Out of my way,” I snap at him.

  Luc glares at Al. “Way to go, brother. You've p
issed her off, and now I can't stay to calm her down,” he says, as he opens the door to let me out. I know he's torn between wanting to stay with me and having to do their soundcheck.

  “I'm booking a ticket home for your last day here. I sure ain't sticking around if he's going to be an asshole,” I say softly, my voice still thick with anger, fury coursing through my veins.

  “Baby, don't. We'll talk about this when I get back. We'll be back after the soundcheck, and we'll order some room service so we can talk. Don't leave,” he says before giving me a quick kiss.

  The look of longing he gives me before getting back in the SUV is nearly my undoing, but I stiffen my spine and turn to head back to the hotel. I don't have to put up with Al being pissed at me, especially for no reason. And I sure as hell am not going to get in between brothers. Al can kiss my ass if he ever thinks I plan to be around him again.

  Chapter Thirty

  Toni

  A knock sounds at the door. My brows furrow together. Luc wouldn't knock and I'm not expecting anyone. I sigh, rolling my eyes as I head to the door. Opening it, I find Al standing there. “What the fuck do you want?” I snap, still angry at him.

  “Can I come in?” he asks politely. His ice blue eyes are full of an emotion that looks like regret.

  “Where's Luc?” I demand, as I look beyond him for Luc.

  “He's with the others. I told him I wanted to talk to you privately, to apologize,” he says.

  I sigh again and hold the room door open. I've changed into sweats and a tank top, figuring that I'll be staying in this evening because I was pissed off and nothing will put me in a good mood at this point, probably not even Luc. I've spent the last few hours stewing in my anger.

  I slam the door closed as if to announce that I’m still angry if he didn't get it from the way I acknowledged his arrival. “Ok, so talk,” I say, as I cross my arms over my chest.

  “I’m sorry, Toni. I had no right to snap at you.”

  “Why did you?”

  “Because I’m jealous.”

  “You're jealous?” I ask, my expression contorting in confusion.

  “Yeah. I’m lusting after my brother's girlfriend and knowing he just fucked you when I want nothing more than to do the same thing isn't sitting well. Sure, I knew he wanted you six years ago, but it doesn't stop me from wanting you too.”

  I swallow. “Ok, I'm confused. How does that relate to when you were pissed with me in Edmonton?”

  “Because I wanted you then too. But because my brother was happy, I put aside how I was feeling. But when you left, I'd gotten used to not having you near me, tempting me. Then, knowing you were coming back, I tried to brace myself for the jealousy to eat me alive. But smelling the sex on you when you got back in the SUV pushed me over the edge, because I wanted you.”

  I'm shocked. The dark and dangerous brother wants me. Six years ago, he could have had me, but it wouldn't have taken long for me to figure out that it was his brother I really wanted. “Does Luc know?” I ask, fearing that his brother may know of his desire for me. Something that may piss off Luc if he knew.

  “No, I spun off some BS that I was jealous I wasn't getting any.”

  “Al, I love you, but not the way I love Luc. I love you like a brother,” I say, as I look away, feeling sad for him. I can only imagine how tough it is for him to want what his brother has.

  His long legs eat the distance between us, and his knuckle turns my chin up to look at him. “I'm not telling you this to make you feel pity for me. I'm telling you this because you deserve to know that I want you.”

  Tears stream down my cheeks. “Al, you can't. It's wrong. It'll only hurt your brother, and I won't come between you.”

  He wipes away my tears in an uncharacteristic act of tenderness. “I promise that Luc will never know about how I feel about you, at least not from me. And I know he'll kick my ass, and I would deserve it. And if he's going to kick my ass, then I might as well make it worthwhile.” He dips his head toward me and I try to back up only to collide with the wall. His hands are braced on both sides of me, effectively penning me in. He takes my mouth in a hot, wet kiss.

  Shocked, I gasp, and he takes full advantage by slipping his tongue in. My hands move up to his chest and I shove him back. He lets me. I slap his face. “How dare you. Get out,” I yell.

  He leaves the room without saying anything. I don't even notice I’m crying again until I taste the salt on my lips. I sink to the floor and wrap my arms around my legs as I begin to sob. Luc is going to be pissed at me; he'll never forgive me for this. He's going to want to kick his brother’s ass. This could ruin the rest of their tour, all because of me.

  Feeling suddenly dirty, I head to the bathroom and turn the shower on to the hottest it will go. I step into the scalding stream after stripping down and let the hot water flow across my skin before I start to scrub my body through my blurred vision.

  “Toni,” Luc calls out. He sounds concerned. I can tell it's Luc because his voice always softens when he talks to me, with others his tone can come across as harsh at times.

  Hearing him calling out, sounding concerned about me, makes me feel even worse. I sink to the floor of the shower and continue to sob. I let his brother kiss me without stopping it, other than backing away. I should have pushed him away then, instead of gasping and allowing him to try to coax me into the kiss. I should never have been in this situation; I should never have come. I should have stayed home and tried to find a new job.

  I can feel him watching me through the glass shower doors. I can't bring myself to look at him, completely ashamed of myself. I'm a fucking harlot. First, I slept with one of his best friends and now I've kissed his brother, his fucking brother. I don't deserve to be with him, he deserves someone better than me.

  I hear the shower door open and the clunk of boots before I feel him pulling me into his arms. I can feel the roughness of his jeans against my legs. He cradles me to his chest. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

  He doesn't know why I’m upset. He doesn't know how to deal with crying women. He won't know how to deal with the woman he loves having kissed his brother or fucked his friend. I cry even more at his tenderness, his one hand rubbing up and down my arm, trying to comfort me, while the other is cradling my head to him. I don't deserve his comfort.

  He holds me until the water runs cold and I'm shivering. The tears have stopped and I'm hiccupping. I know my face will be blotchy and snotty, and my eyes will be bloodshot and swollen. Adjusting his hold on me, he shifts to turn the water off before standing with me in his arms. Setting me on the counter, he wraps a towel around me before stripping his soaked clothes and drying himself off. Then he focuses on drying me off.

  I don't deserve him being tender to me. I don't deserve to have him taking care of me right now. I deserve him to scream at me, to tell me to get lost.

  When both my body and hair are dried, he carries me into the bedroom and settles on the bed, shifting us so that I’m laying in his arms, but we're on our sides facing one another. His legs tangle with mine, holding me to him.

  “What's wrong, baby?” he asks quietly, as he tips my face to his. I cast my eyes down, not sure if I can look at him. “Baby, look at me.”

  I look up at him and my vision blurs with fresh tears from the concern and pain I see in his eyes. It's hurting him to see me like this and not knowing how to fix it. Swallowing and taking a deep breath, I try to tell him, but nothing comes out. I can't tell him something that will hurt him.

  “Baby, please tell me what's got you so upset,” he demands softly. “I hate seeing you like this. Let me fix it.”

  “You can't fix it,” I finally whisper before burying my head in his chest.

  “Is this about Al?” he asks.

  Knowing I can't talk without betraying the emotions that are battling within me, I nod. The love I have for this man and the self-loathing I have for myself are tearing me apart.

  “Did he come to apologize?”

 
I nod again. Finally realizing that I need to stop hiding and tell him the truth, I look up at him. “Oh, he apologized. Then told me he wanted to fuck me. He trapped me against the wall and kissed me. I gasped in shock, so he took advantage and thrust his tongue in my mouth. When I got over the shock, I pushed him away from me and slapped him before telling him to get out.” I felt him tense up. “I'm sorry, Lucius. I didn't expect that to happen. I don't want to come between you and your brother. You don't deserve to have someone treat you like this, you deserve so much better.”

  “Baby, stop with the self-loathing you’re feeling. You did nothing wrong. My brother should have told me how he felt long before it came to this. Even him telling me wouldn't change how I feel about you, but it may have helped with trying to figure out how to resolve the situation rather than burying it in the sand. He never should have kissed you knowing you’re mine. That's on him, not you.”

  Completely taken aback, I ask, “You're not mad at me?”

  “No, baby, I'm not mad at you. But I am pissed at my brother. And if you didn't need me right now, I'd be going to kick his ass. But you need me and that’s more important,” he says.

  “How can you not be mad that I kissed your brother?”

  “You didn't kiss him, he kissed you. There's a difference.”

  “But I didn't stop it.”

  “You did. Just because you didn't stop it right away because you were surprised doesn't mean that you didn't stop it. You didn't expect him to kiss you.”

  I take a deep breath and prepare to tell him the one thing that could break us. “There's one more thing I need to tell you, Luc. It's been eating at me for keeping it from you.”

  “What is it, baby?”

  “I slept with Jas,” I say softly.

  “You what?” he roars, causing me to flinch.

  “It happened a long time ago. At a party we both went to a year before I first saw you playing at the bar. Keri took me out to celebrate my seventeenth birthday. Jas and I were both drunk, and Keri had been hounding me all night to pick up a guy so I could get laid. I felt out of place because I didn't know anyone, and Jas was sitting by himself, so I approached him. I came on to him and asked him to fuck me after talking to him for a bit.”