Twisted Heartstrings

by A Kelly Sweeney

  “Is there anything going on between the two of you now?” he asks, sounding almost hurt. “I know the two of you spend time together when everyone else is sleeping.”

  “There's nothing going on. We talked about it one night, but he doesn't remember it happening. Me being honest and talking to him about it is part of what started our friendship. He appreciated my honesty and that I wanted to clear the air so things wouldn't be awkward between us. I wanted to tell you, I just didn't know how to,” I sob.

  “So, you want me to believe there's nothing going on between the two of you?”

  “There's nothing between Jas and me but friendship. He's like a brother to me, just like I'm like a sister to him. You can ask him for yourself.” I'm panicking. He doesn't believe me.

  The secret I've been terrified would pull us apart is doing just that. He'll never trust me with Jas and will always wonder if anything is happening between us. I start sobbing again, my heart slowly cracking because I'm losing him. I start to pull away from him, needing to get out of here. But he surprises me by holding me tighter to him. “If you say nothing is going on between the two of you, then I believe you. Jas isn't the type to fuck around, and I know things back then were hard for him. If he was drunk it was probably because it had to do with the anniversary of losing Isabelle. It's the only time he allowed himself to get hammered back then.”

  I surge forward, hugging myself to him. Oh my God, how did I end up with someone so kind, understanding, and forgiving? He should be disgusted with me and pushing me away. He should be sending me home on the first flight available. He should not be comforting me. He should be kicking his brother's ass for even coming on to me, be pissed at me for what happened. But he's treating me like I’m a victim, not someone who was in the wrong for what happened with his brother, and to be so accepting of my history with Jas. “Why do you have to be so kind?” I ask.

  “Baby, you did nothing wrong. Stop beating yourself up over it. What happened between you and Jas is in the past. I'm glad you told me, but you should have told me sooner. Any anger I have right now is toward my brother, not you,” he says, as he leans in to kiss me. The kiss is so soft and gentle, his mouth coaxing mine.

  I surrender to him. Pour myself into the kiss, letting him know I’m sorry, even if he doesn't think I have a reason to be. Letting him know that I really do love him.

  “Why don't you order up some room service while I’m gone. I gotta go shortly, so I don't have time to eat with you. I'll grab something when I get back. Get some rest and we'll talk more later, ok?” he asks.

  “You don't want me to go with you?” I ask, feeling hurt.

  “I don't want you to see what I plan to do to my brother,” he replies.

  “Be easy on him, don't let me come between the two of you,” I say pleadingly.

  “Baby, he had no right to touch what is mine. Sure, we grew up sharing everything, but that does not mean I'm willing to share my woman with him. Even if you wanted him, I wouldn't allow it.”

  “Maybe it will be easier if I go home after your break. I don't want things to be awkward for the tour.”

  He kisses me lightly. “Baby, it's already going to be awkward. I might be able to forgive Al in time, but right now I can't.” He pulls away from me and starts to get dressed.

  I suddenly feel cold without him and slip below the covers. My eyes start to drift closed of their own accord before Luc even leaves. I feel him kiss my forehead, telling me to rest and eat, before I hear the door close.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Lucius

  I was simmering with rage. I hate that I have to leave Toni in our room in her emotional state, but we have a show to play. I wanted to stay and comfort her so badly. Not only did she shock me by telling me what my brother did, but what shocks me even more is that she slept with a guy I consider a brother. I can’t even believe that they kept it from me; that kinda hurts. But even knowing that fact doesn’t change the way I feel about her. I just have to take care of the real problem: my brother.

  I know confronting my brother before the show will only cause a problem, so I bide my time, waiting for the show to end. Of all the things my brother could do to hurt me, this one is by far the worst. Sure, he's hit on and slept with my girlfriends before, but they never really meant as much to me as she does. Knowing how I feel about Toni, he just had to make a play for her. He had to make her want to leave just after I got her back, all because he hit on her and made her feel guilty for not only that but keeping her past with Jas from me.

  What makes it worse is that as teens, Al always tried to steal my girlfriends. I thought he grew out of it when he finally had his own serious relationships. I can't remember how many girls I broke up with because they cheated on me with him. Excuses ranging from I didn’t know it was him to you’re just too nice. Out of the two of us, my brother was always the asshole girls flocked to.

  I do my best to keep my cool while we play, but the guys can tell something is up. Our normal showmanship is lacking; my rage preventing me from feeling the high I normally get while playing. My own playing is a little off; edgy or even angry sounding. It’s like I'm playing on autopilot.

  As soon as the show ends, I hand off my guitar and stalk toward an empty corridor. I know Al will follow wanting to know what’s up, even if he probably knows that Toni would have told me what happened. He should have told me the truth rather than just saying she was upset when he came back down from apologizing to her. But he didn’t want to cause a scene, because I would have decked him then and there.

  As soon as I round the corner, I can feel Alucard getting close to me; we've always been able to feel when the other is close and have even shared our emotions at times. Once he rounds the corner, I whip around, glaring at him. Ready to kick the shit out of him. Needing him as the outlet to take out my anger on for what he did.

  “What the fuck happened out there? You weren’t playing like you normally do,” he spits.

  “You know what the fuck happened out there! You fucking asshole!” I roar, lunging for him. I crash into him, sending him slamming into the wall behind him. My fist connects with his rib while I have him pinned.

  Al shoves me back before landing a punch, hitting me in the chest. I swing back with a right hook, nailing him in the jaw. He hooks me in an arm lock and takes a shot at me; I take a jab at his side before shoving him off me.

  “Why the fuck did you do it?” I demand. I know that my demand will go unanswered. He’ll just spin me some bullshit like always. The only difference is that this is about Toni and not the other girls that I didn’t give a shit about. I didn’t love them like I do her.

  “Because I could,” he says cockily, all the while smirking at me.

  “You know what she means to me, you asshole,” I say, as I charge him again. “I had to leave her in the room alone. She's a fucking mess because of you.”

  This time we don't let up. Al deserves every ounce of anger that pours out of me as we fight. If Toni leaves me because of what he did, I don't think I'll be able to forgive him. He's fighting me back, which only pisses me off further. He gets in a few good jabs, but with my anger I’m hitting him more often.

  “Why the fuck did you do it?” I demand again through breathless gasps while we spar. “You always have to try and ruin shit for me.”

  He grunts as my fist connects to a floating rib. We're pulled apart by Chris, Nic, and Jas. It takes both Chris and Nic to hold me back while Jas pins Al to the wall.

  “What the fuck guys, why are you fighting?” Nic asks, looking back and forth between us.

  “Why don't you ask Al?” I say angrily, trying unsuccessfully to shake them off.

  “Dude, calm down, Luc,” Chris barks, as his grip on me tightens.

  My head turns toward him. “You want me to calm down after I had to leave Toni an emotional wreck because of that asshole?”

  Jas looks at Al. “What the fuck did you do to Toni?” he demands.

  With a
cocky grin, my brother says, “I made a pass at her.”

  I smirk as Jas wipes the grin off Al’s face with a punch. I knew Jasper had a soft spot for Toni, and him decking my brother only proves it, but it also makes me wonder if there is potentially more to their friendship due to their past. But I also know that Jas would help protect Toni from anything, including my jerk of a brother.

  “Really, Alucard? You went up to apologize for being an asshole and you pull an even bigger dick move,” Jas says. “Why the hell would you do that to your brother? We're not fucking teenagers anymore.”

  Alucard goes to shove Jas off him, but Jas doesn’t back off, having expected Al to try to get loose. My brother glares at Jasper. “Like you can't deny your late-night encounters with her.”

  “We fucking work and talk, asshole. Don't be trying to deflect what you did on to my friendship with her. I may have a history with her, but that doesn't mean I'd cross the line you did!” Jas replies, his tone laced with anger. “I'd never do something that would jeopardize any of us.”

  Alucard finally manages to shove Jas off him and stalks off. Nic and Chris let go of their hold on me, Nic taking off after my brother.

  “She told me,” I say, looking right at Jas.

  “It happened a long time ago, and I don't remember any of it,” Jas replies, looking pained. “We're just friends.”

  “I know, man,” I say. “Toni would have said something. She should have told me sooner about the two of you, but I get why she held back. She didn't want me to not trust either of you. But I see the way the two of you are together, and I know there's nothing but friendship there.”

  Jas grins. “She's a hell of a woman and you're lucky to have her. She's been through a lot and I'd love to kick your brother's ass for what he just did. I know she loves you; we've talked about it. Your brother just doesn't understand what she's been through and how it affects her emotionally and mentally. You're going to have to reassure her that nothing changes how you feel about her.”

  “I know, Jas,” I say before I head to the dressing room to quickly shower and change so I can get back to Toni.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Toni

  I wake to the door closing. Shooting up, I see Luc standing near the door. Climbing from the bed, I rush to him, throwing my arms around him. I see him wince a little as I collide with his body. As I stare at his face, I can see the beginnings of a black eye.

  “What happened?” I ask.

  “Don't worry about it,” he says, pulling me closer.

  “Are you ok?”

  “Al looks worse than I do. He got a couple of good hits in, but I got in more,” he says, as he rests his cheek on the top of my head.

  “I'm sorry you had to do this, Luc,” I say, as I start to cry.

  Tilting my face to his, he looks in my eyes and says, “Don't cry, baby. Yes, I’m still pissed at my brother for making a pass at my woman, but he's my brother and I will get over it in time. Believe me, once he knew that I knew what he did, he was remorseful.”

  Pulling away, I wipe my tears. “So, what are we going to do from here?”

  “We're going to order something to eat and then we are going to make love until we both fall into an exhausted sleep,” he says with a wolfish grin. “It could be all night.”

  I barely remember eating; I was too excited about the promise Lucius made me of a night’s worth of making love. I know normally after a show he's exhausted, but I’m sure knowing he has a few days off gives him motivation to last all night.

  And he does.

  Light is just leaking into the room through the curtains when I finally drift off to sleep in Lucius's arms. I’m deliciously tender and know that any soreness I have when we wake later will be worth it. Lucius made sure I know without a doubt that he wants me regardless of what happened with his brother and Jas.

  When I wake, I find myself alone in bed. I didn't hear him moving around in the bathroom but got up to check anyway. He wasn't in the room, but I find the note on the bed that I missed when I woke.

  “Baby,

  I had to go out for a bit. Meeting with the guys to sort shit out. Text me when you wake, and if we’re done, I'll be back.

  Love, L”

  I get up and take a shower, figuring I'll give him time to make sure they sort things out. I’m only scared that it will mean I’ll have to go home, but I will if I have to. I’m still tempted to go anyway. If I could have gotten a flight out yesterday when I was pissed, I would be on my way home right now. But by the time I looked, I'd missed the last flight out.

  Once I’m finished with the shower, I quickly pull on sweats and a tank top. Searching for my phone, I find it in my bag where I dumped it on the floor yesterday when I stormed into the room. I pull it out to find it dead. I root around looking for my charger and plug it in. Sitting at the desk, I turn my notebook on and log into Facebook.

  Worst mistake I've made. I look on the group page and find a video someone took of Luc and Al fighting. I want to stop looking, but I can't. The two of them are in a rage and full out brawling. I see the guys trying to break them up and Jas taking a swing at Al. I hold my hand to my mouth to cover my horror at seeing the video. My next worst mistake is to read the comments; tons of people are going to be banned.

  I notice that Jas is on in Messenger. I pop open a message window and type a message to him.

  Me: Jas, have you seen the video that was posted?

  It's not long before I see three dots indicating he's replying.

  Jas: What video?

  Me: Go check. Looks like you and I may be busy for awhile.

  Jas: Fuck, we don't need this shit.

  Me: No kidding. This makes my decision a whole lot easier. Looks like this is only a quick trip for me rather than the extended stay I'd hoped for.

  Jas: What the fuck are you talking about?

  Me: I'm pretty sure it's going to be uncomfortable between Luc and Al and adding me to the mix will make it even worse. And I’m pretty sure the fans probably hate me now that they’re assuming that y'all are breaking up cuz of this.

  Jas: Sweetheart, you leave and it's gonna just prove them right that you're coming between them, which we all know is Al’s fault. The fans will latch on to anything to try to get rumours started. They'll try to blame you regardless. People believe shit that isn't true all the time. You staying means that this can be put behind us, and it will be. Nic and Chris are with them right now knocking sense into them. I heard the ping and stepped away.”

  Me: FML, why does this have to happen to me? First the kiss picture and now this video! What's next, a sex tape?

  Jas: I'd buy that!

  Me: Not helping, Jas.

  Jas: Sorry, sweetheart. Let's get started on this shit. I'll post a comment and turn off the commenting and then we can start sorting and removing people.

  “A pinned post on our page has stated that anyone caught being abusive or bullying will be blocked from all social media for the band. While things have been quiet since the picture that caused this new rule, the recent video post has now stirred things up again. Lucius and Alucard are brothers and, on occasion, do get into fights, just as Christoph, Nicholai, and I do on occasion. We are guys and sometimes we get into physical altercations, but at the end of the day, we are brothers and we will forgive one another. Lucius and Alucard will forgive one another, and Toni is an innocent party in this and should not be abused or bullied for the action Alucard instigated. The band is not breaking up and Lucius is still off the market. ~J”

  I open a tab in my browser with all the social media accounts.

  Me: I'll start with the earliest comments while you start with the latest and we’ll work toward the middle?

  Jas: Sure. Btw I told Luc you're up and busy working like I will be.

  Me: He pissed?

  Jas: Not at you. Mostly at the person who posted the video, since he hoped to make sure that the coast was clear before he laid into his brother. The last thing he
wanted was to be caught fighting with his brother, knowing rumours would start. If it makes you feel any better, Al is really sorry. He knows how badly he fucked up.

  It didn't really make me feel any better. I just knew my relationship with Al would never be the same. Unlike how the guys can fight and be over it, I'm not made like that. I sigh and get started on ejecting people from the group, more people are added to the master list we'd made the first time people were removed.

  I'm so lost in working that I don't even hear Luc return to the room. I only notice him when he starts to rub my stiff shoulders. Dragging my attention from my screen, I look up at him. He smiles down at me before leaning in and kissing me. I kiss him back, not caring if I end up ignoring helping Jasper in order to allow this divine man to take me to bed. Him kissing me can make me forget everything.

  When he pulls away, I can't help but whimper at the loss. The gleam in his eyes makes me shiver. He knows he has me. He grabs my hand and pulls me up into his arms and angles my head to kiss me deeper than before. I can feel his desire for me; his body has the same response as mine does, and I know I’m wet for him.

  Wrapping my arms around his neck, I groan when I can't pull his hair like I used to. I hate that he cut it. I wrap one of my legs around his, trying to demand that he lift me. He does and I wrap my legs around his hips, slowly grinding myself into him. If my eyes were open I know I'd see dark blue irises filled with lust looking back at me.

  My back hits the bed and I refuse to loosen my hold, for now happy just to be kissing. I moan as he rocks his hips, grinding against me, one of his hands sliding under my tank top. I shiver as he gently rolls a nipple between his fingers. I buck against him, completely turned on. He leans back to pull off his shirt and mine. He shimmies my pants and soaked underwear down my legs, and I kick them off while he makes quick work of his pants.