Dead Inside

by Noelle Holten

  Rory arrived at the table and Lucy grabbed his arm. ‘Please, Rory: tell me it’s not true. Please!’

  He looked at Emma sternly.

  ‘Time to go. Lucy, let go of me.’

  Lucy held his arm. He stared straight at her. She definitely recognized that look. It was Patrick’s.

  ‘We have to go now, Lucy. Let go of my arm.’ He pulled away sharply.

  Lucy staggered. She put her hands over her eyes and fell to her knees. She was shaking uncontrollably, and felt a shiver down her spine.

  Lucy heard him say as he walked away, ‘… like father, like son I guess …’

  CHAPTER NINETY-TWO

  Outside, Rory gave Emma a nervous smile. He wasn’t sure why he said that to Lucy. Even if she did change her mind, he doubted anyone would believe that he killed his own father.

  A tinge of guilt coursed through him and his smile faded. On the surface of it, he had no reason to kill him; he hadn’t known his father long, almost a year. What motive could he possibly have? He began to feel a bit more confident. It’ll be OK.

  Rory knew he was nothing like his father. He’d listened to Patrick belittle Lucy. Had flashbacks to his childhood, hearing those same things said to his own mother. No fouryearold should hear that. He must have pushed the memories into his subconscious, but meeting his father made him relive them all on a daily basis. He should’ve spoken to someone.

  After seeing Lucy limp up the stairs, he knew he couldn’t let his dad get away with it. His mother never deserved what happened to her and Lucy didn’t either. He wouldn’t let his sister fall into the hands of abusive men, and he’d be damned if he’d let Patrick scare his sister any longer. Lucy thought she was hiding it from Rory and Siobhan, but they knew … they always knew.

  He looked over at Emma and squeezed her hand. She smiled at him warily and that’s when it dawned on him. ‘I’m not like him you know …’

  ‘Who?’

  ‘My dad. I’m not like him.’

  Emma couldn’t meet his eye.

  ‘What happened, your arm – that was an accident. I didn’t mean it. You know I love you, right?’

  ‘I know.’ She looked away again.

  Rory stopped walking and turned Emma to face him. ‘Look me in the eyes. Please?’ She did. It was then that Rory saw it: the fear. She was scared of him. What have I done? What am I becoming?

  ‘I’m sorry … I’m so, sorry.’

  She remained quiet. And in the silence, Rory knew he needed to get help. He thought that once his dad was gone, everything would be OK. It wasn’t though. He couldn’t let Lucy take the blame for his actions. It would mean his life would be over – but maybe he’d save someone else from suffering the way his mother did.

  The way Lucy did.

  He couldn’t believe he’d even let it get this far.

  ‘I need to do something, Emma. You’ll see.’

  CHAPTER NINETY-THREE

  When Maggie was called down to the front office, she wasn’t expecting to see Rory standing there. He nibbled at his bottom lip as he shifted nervously from one foot to the other.

  ‘Hi, Rory. It’s been awhile. How are you?’

  ‘DC Jamieson, I need to speak with you.’

  ‘I’m kind of busy. Is it about Lucy? I can meet you at the café across the road around oneish, if that helps?’

  ‘No. I have to speak to you now. I need to get this off my chest. Lucy can’t go to prison for something she didn’t do.’

  That got Maggie’s attention. ‘What do you mean, Rory? Are you saying Lucy didn’t kill Patrick? How do you know this? Did you see who did?’

  ‘Yes. I know who killed him.’ Rory stared at his hands.

  ‘Right, let’s go somewhere more private, OK?’

  Rory followed Maggie to an interview room. He sat down and placed his hands on the table. Before Maggie could say anything, Rory blurted out, ‘It was me. Lucy didn’t kill my dad, I did. She was protecting me. That’s why she’s saying she doesn’t remember. She knows it was me.’

  Maggie shook her head in disbelief. ‘Hang on, Rory. Are you confessing to the murder of your father?’ For once, Maggie was at a loss for words. ‘Rory, you do realize that you’ve confessed to murdering your father, right?’

  Rory’s hands covered his face, preventing Maggie from hearing what he mumbled. Gently moving his hands away, she repeated the question.

  ‘Yes. I did it.’

  ‘OK, Rory. I’m going to have to stop you there and speak to my boss, OK?’ Maggie cautioned Rory and called in one of her colleagues to sit with him while she went to speak to DS Hooper.

  She ran into his room and slammed the door behind her. He looked up in surprise.

  ‘Holy shit, guv. You are not going to believe what has just happened.’ Maggie relayed her conversation with Rory to her boss as he stared at her in disbelief.

  ‘What the hell? Has he been cautioned? How old is he? Shit, we have the wrong person in prison.’

  ‘Hang on, guv. This is not on us. Lucy practically confessed. It was the CPS’s decision to follow through. Lucy was obviously protecting Rory. Maybe she doesn’t even know; she was beaten pretty badly that day and still can’t recollect a lot of the information from that night. I’ve cautioned Rory, but he’d already confessed. We’ll need to call his mother, he might want her as his appropriate adult. Otherwise I’ll contact the Youth Offending Team and see if they can send someone over. Seems Dr Moloney was right all along.’

  ‘What was I right about?’ Dr Moloney stood in the doorway waiting for her colleagues to answer.

  Hooper and Maggie looked at one another and then at Dr Moloney. Maggie waited.

  The room remained quiet.

  ‘Well? Is either one of you going to share the information, or do I need to call in a psychic detective to solve this mystery?’

  DS Hooper looked at Maggie, shrugged his shoulders, and turned away. She was surprised he was going to allow her to share the news.

  ‘Lucy didn’t kill Patrick Quinn after all—’

  ‘I bloody knew it!’ Dr Moloney grinned and slapped her hand on the door. She came in and sat down. Maggie smiled too, and shared the rest of the details.

  ‘Rory Quinn has come in and confessed to murdering Patrick.’

  ‘Oh, my god, no … He’s only a child! What’s he said?’

  ‘We haven’t questioned him properly yet. He basically told me he killed Patrick, but this was before he was cautioned. I couldn’t stop him, it just came pouring out. I needed to tell the guv first and we need to call his mother. He’s only fourteen or fifteen.’

  ‘I can be the appropriate adult. I’ve done the training.’

  ‘Sorry, Kate. In these circumstances, you can’t. Not only are you involved in this investigation, you’re employed by the police.’

  ‘Ah, OK. I’d not realized that.’

  ‘Kate, can you do me a favour though and go and check on him? Tell him we’re contacting his mother and the duty solicitor. I left him in Interview Room Three with an officer.’

  ‘Will do. Anything else?’

  Hooper butted in, ‘No, that will be all for now. You should’ve been a police officer; you knew it wasn’t Lucy all along.’

  Dr Moloney did a small fist pump in the air and walked out of the room. Maggie could tell Kate had mixed feelings though – a fifteen-year-old boy was now facing the possibility of a life sentence. Maggie sighed.

  She dreaded having to call Rory’s mother.

  ‘Do you want me to do it?’

  ‘Thanks for the offer, guv – but I’d like to follow this through.’

  ‘Fine. I’ll get PC Reynolds to contact the appropriate adult and inform the duty solicitor.’

  ‘Thanks.’

  Maggie left Hooper in his office. She went back to her desk and picked up the phone; she dialled the number Rory had given her when he first came in.

  ‘Hello?’

  ‘Hello. Is that Amy Swift?’

  ‘Yes.
Who’s this?’

  ‘This is DC Maggie Jamieson. I’m calling from Markston Police Station. We have your son here—’

  ‘Rory? You have Rory? Oh, my god, is everything OK? Has something happened to him?’

  Rory’s mother’s voice broke. Maggie took a deep breath. ‘Rory is here at the station. He’s not physically hurt. I’d rather you get here as soon as possible, as I can’t really discuss anything over the phone.’

  Maggie heard the dial tone. Guess she’s on her way. Walking back into the open-plan office, she bumped into Kat.

  ‘Maggie. Is it true? Has a bloody kid just confessed to killing Patrick Quinn?’ Kat’s face was lit up and she was clutching a cigarette in one hand and a lighter in the other.

  ‘Yes, sadly it’s true, Kat. Patrick’s son is currently awaiting to be interviewed downstairs. Go and have your fag. I’ll fill you in later.’

  ‘Poor kid. His life is over. Not that I’m condoning what he did, but his father was a dick—’

  ‘That’s enough, Kat.’ Maggie paused. ‘Before you go, can you contact social services and see if Rory is known to them? I’m going to head back down to the custody suite and see if the duty solicitor or appropriate adult has arrived yet.’

  ‘Sure thing, Maggie.’

  This was the part of her job that Maggie didn’t enjoy so much. Rory was probably just a messed-up kid. From what she remembered about the case, he’d only been in contact with his dad within the last year. She shook her head in dismay and stared out of the grubby window into the drizzly streets below. Taking a deep breath, she headed down to start the process of interviewing a child for murder.

  CHAPTER NINETY-FOUR

  Maggie returned to Interview Room Three with a heavy heart. Looking around at the faces before her, a sadness could be felt. She plonked herself down with a sigh in the chair opposite Rory, his mother, and Dr Moloney.

  Maggie took Rory through the preliminaries; he looked on the verge of tears and was struggling to get his words out. Maggie glanced at his mother. She’d been crying, her eyes redrimmed, and her nose raw from blowing into the wet, shrivelled tissue that lay limply on the interview room table. Rory was formally cautioned and the task of taking his statement began. Maggie asked Rory to start from the beginning and he leant back in his chair and began to talk.

  ‘How far back do you want me to start from?’

  ‘The day of the murder. What were you feeling that day?’

  ‘I was OK to start off with. I’d made plans to go and see my dad as I knew that Siobhan was going to her grandparents.’

  ‘Who’s Siobhan?’

  ‘My stepsister.’ Rory looked at his mother to see if that was the correct term.

  ‘Siobhan’s his half-sister, actually. Patrick is … was, her father too.’

  ‘OK, Rory. Go on.’

  ‘Lucy had given me a key to the house. Told me it was my home too, so when I got there, I let myself in. No one was downstairs.’ A shadow fell over Rory’s face as he talked and his hands fidgeted constantly on his lap. ‘I shouted from the landing but there was no answer.’

  ‘What did you do?’

  ‘I took off my muddy shoes, didn’t want to dirty the floors. I was going to sit in the living room and wait. Dad’s car was outside in the drive, so I thought maybe he’d just walked up to the shops.’ Rory swallowed. ‘Then I heard a weird noise upstairs.’

  ‘What kind of noise?’

  ‘It sounded like water dripping, and then a thump. Like someone had slipped in the bath.’ His mother sobbed but Rory carried on. ‘I listened a bit, but it was quiet again. About ten minutes later, dad still wasn’t back, so I went upstairs. Maybe he was asleep. He sometimes was.’ A gloomy look crept over Rory’s face again, and Maggie glanced over at Dr Moloney.

  ‘What happened when you went upstairs?’ Maggie could feel her heart racing. Normally she didn’t prompt people she was interviewing, but she could see that Rory was struggling.

  ‘When I got to the landing, I heard this weird, low groan from my dad’s bedroom. I tiptoed to the door and pushed it open. Lucy was on the floor. I could hardly … oh it was awful … her face was bloody.’ Rory ran a hand across his face. ‘I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to touch her in case I hurt her or in case she was … dying or something.’ Rory began to cry, and his mother rubbed his back as tears flowed down her face. She nodded as if she knew exactly what Rory was talking about.

  ‘I went to the bathroom and saw my dad in the tub. There was an open can of beer spilled on the floor and he was passed out … drunk … again.’ He choked back his anger. ‘I saw the cuts on his knuckles. I got mad, I just felt so … so … pissed off.’ He spat the words out. ‘Lucy was always kind to me. Mum left my dad because he did bad things.’ He glanced at his mum. ‘I didn’t believe her at first. But when I saw Lucy crumpled on the floor, the blood … so much blood … I thought of my mum … and I just snapped.’

  ‘Do you want to take a moment?’

  Rory sniffed. ‘I’m OK.’ A strange cold glint appeared in his eyes. ‘It was like I was a robot or something. I went down to the kitchen and put on the rubber gloves that Lucy had left near the sink. I grabbed a knife from the wooden block on the counter and went back upstairs. Deep down I guess I always knew my dad was an arsehole.’

  ‘What do you mean by that, Rory?’

  ‘I saw him with another woman. They kissed. I also checked his phone once when he was passed out drunk. He’d obviously forgot to delete a message from someone named “Steve”. It said they loved him, but it was signed “Shell”, with a kiss by the name. I knew he was cheating on Lucy and I didn’t say anything at first. Another woman for him to beat I guess.’ He suppressed a shudder. ‘But then I knew I had to tell Lucy. It wasn’t fair, and I thought maybe then, if she knew, she’d leave him. My dad made me so angry sometimes. But I was afraid I was turning into him … and that made me even angrier.’

  ‘What happened in the bathroom?’

  ‘I stood over him with the knife in my hand. Wasn’t sure what I was going to do. I wanted to scare him. He was still passed out, so I nudged him. He didn’t move. I kicked his arm and he sort of woke up. This weird glazed look in his eyes.’ Rory stared at the wall as if he was watching the scene again. ‘He saw the knife in my hand. He asked me what I was doing. Or at least I think that’s what he said; his words were slurred. I told him he had to stop hurting Lucy. And do you know what he did?’ Rory shut his eyes and paused. ‘He laughed at me. I lost it then. I stabbed him right in the chest.’ Rory put his hands over his eyes, and his mother gasped.

  ‘You’re doing great, Rory. We’re nearly finished here. Did you get him another drink before you stabbed him?’ Maggie asked Rory if he’d given his father anymore of the medication.

  Rory shook his head. ‘Lucy was always warning him to be careful with his medication. He sometimes forgot if he’d taken them and double dosed. I don’t think you’re supposed to mix them with alcohol either.’

  Maggie nodded. She’d have to speak with the pathologist and see whether the high levels could be down to Patrick accidently overdosing. Not that it mattered. Cause of death was the knife wound to the chest.

  ‘Can you tell me what you did after you stabbed your father?’

  He sniffed and reached for a tissue, wiping his nose. ‘I stared at him for a bit. He didn’t move. I thought he might try to grab me or something. But he just lay there. I think it hit me then. What I’d done. I stared at the knife in his chest and then I went and looked in on Lucy, still lying on the floor. She raised her head, and I thought I saw her eyes flutter … I closed the door and left. Dumped the gloves in the bin by the shops and went home. Never thought Lucy would end up in prison. I mean, she didn’t do it.’

  ‘Why do you think Lucy confessed, Rory?’

  ‘I dunno. I think at first she thought she did it … I told her it was me, though.’

  ‘You did?’ Maggie’s eyes widened.

  ‘When we first
spoke on the phone, not long after she was put in prison. She said she didn’t want to see me ruin my life. Said she would have probably killed him or ended up dead herself anyway – she made me promise to keep it a secret.’

  ‘OK. If Lucy was going to take the blame, why are you here now?’

  ‘I did something bad.’

  ‘Yes, we know. You murdered your father.’

  ‘No. Something else. I hurt my girlfriend.’ Rory looked broken as he wiped a tear from his eyes. ‘I was afraid I was turning into my father and I don’t want to. I took my girlfriend with me to visit Lucy, and she knew. Lucy knew. And do you know what I said as I left?’ Rory began to cry uncontrollably.

  ‘What did you say?’

  ‘I looked at Lucy …’ Rory struggled to get his words out. He gulped, ‘“like father, like son”.’ The last words were said through gritted teeth.

  ‘Oh God. Rory … no …’ his mother turned away.

  ‘I’m sorry. I need help. I don’t want to hurt the people I love. That’s why I knew I had to confess.’

  Rory was charged with the murder of his father and the interview ended. Maggie left the room with Dr Moloney, while Rory stayed and spoke to his solicitor. He grabbed his mother in a tight hug, sobbing goodbye. He’d be remanded into custody later that day.

  Dr Moloney stopped just outside the door. ‘How do you do it, Maggie?’

  ‘Do what?’

  ‘How do you deal with a child coming in and saying all that? My heart was breaking.’

  ‘Mine too … But it’s all part of the job. Hopefully Rory will get the help he needs. But even if he doesn’t that’s one less woman … for the time being … who will not be a victim.’

  The prospect of returning to her old team was already on Maggie’s mind; this case had played havoc with her emotions. All murders were difficult, but there was something about domestic abuse cases that just got to her. So many people affected. So many hurt. Maybe Rutherford knew that when she suggested the secondment. She had wanted her to forget about the last case she worked on. Now she wished that she could go back. This case, working so close with Dr Moloney and the feelings that brought about. Her brother coming to live with her. She rubbed her temples to relive the pressure she was feeling. Then she remembered why she agreed to the secondment – Raven, and she shook her head.