Stolen Desire

by Robin Lovett

  I pull him through the door of the shelter, and the lack of light inside doesn’t bother me. It only drifts through the cracks in the door, enough for me to see the outline of his shadow. I pull down the zipper of my uniform to my navel.

  He steps forward. “Let me?”

  I drop my hands to my sides and step toward him.

  He gives off heat, and I have a desire to touch his bare skin, a longing to break my own boundary and undress him. But it’s almost as though he knows. He slides his hands inside the shoulders of my uniform, and his touch lingers, savoring the softness of my skin. Then he pushes the uniform off my shoulders and leaves it with my arms trapped to my sides—making me incapable of breaking my own rule to remove his uniform.

  My heart races, and I’m hot and needy between my thighs. Fuck my boundaries, I want him inside me. I want that steely, enormous cock I felt last night against my ass. I want it pounding into me, stretching me, filling me.

  He leans down to my ear. “Breathe, lulipah. I will ease you.” He runs his hands down my chest, his fingers toying my nipples, and I stagger; it’s so good to be touched there. My nipples have been perpetually swollen and aching for days.

  As though he knows, he lowers to his knees in front of me and takes one in his mouth. I groan and arch into him, the heat of his smooth alien tongue licking me. He strokes his hands over my bare back, his touch lingering and slow, his breath fast and heated. I start to feel it, deeper than before, his touch seeping pleasure into me. It flows beneath my skin, sinking into my muscles, and spreads through my body like the tide surging against the shore. It will swallow me—and I want it to.

  I want the things his hands make me feel, this magical alien thing he can do to me to take over me and wipe everything else away.

  The pleasure deepens in my nipples, igniting within my breasts, and I realize, he can do it with his mouth, too, not just his hands. It fills me, he fills me, every nerve in my body opening and feeling from my fingertips to my toes, and it grows and flows till it’s more than I can stand.

  The waves of feeling pulse through my veins, like a pressure building, and I know if I don’t come soon and release it, I will lose consciousness to the overwhelming sensations.

  “Koviye,” I breathe, words not coming easily. “I can’t—wait. Please.”

  He rests his forehead between my breasts, and his breath gusts heavily against my skin. “Your need is my satisfaction.”

  I’m not sure what that means or how it makes sense, but I don’t care.

  He runs his palm down my middle and slips his hand inside the waist of my uniform. I hope and pray for a moment he’ll ignore my boundary and touch my clit, sink his fingers between my thighs and fill me there with all his blissful energy.

  Gods, what that would feel like…

  But he doesn’t leave me time to fantasize that; he doesn’t go past my boundary. He presses his hand flush with my belly between my hips and does that thing again.

  Except this time, it’s not a dream.

  This time, it’s real.

  Powerful, radiant ecstasy storms my body. From his hand, a release wracks me, cleansing and enlivening until I am—I’m not sure—I’m filled with some sort of essence of him. But it’s not like he’s taking me over. I’m still me. It’s like he awakens me to myself, my body to its feelings and the consuming pleasure I’m capable of.

  I’m crying out, shaking against him. It’s almost painful, but so good. So very, very good.

  Chapter Ten

  Koviye

  The cracks of light from the door illuminate her face—so I can watch her come.

  I stare up at her, enraptured. Her mouth gapes open on exquisite cries of ecstasy. They’re the most musical sounds I’ve ever heard. Her eyes and forehead clench, as though she can’t take it, as though it’s too much, as though every cell in her body is seizing in pleasure. She suspends for an eternal moment, her body tightening in my arms like a bowstring.

  She releases, and her eyes widen in astonished bliss. Her panting breaths echo in her chest, her breasts rising and falling against my cheeks.

  I could happily watch her like this all day, for days. If it weren’t for her boundaries or our rescue mission, I would. We could seclude ourselves and feed the desidre, indulge in bodily pleasure. I could attempt to satisfy the lust I have for her, this unending need. It would work; it always works eventually. No matter how strong an attraction seems in the beginning, it always eases eventually.

  Though what I feel for Jenie is far fiercer than anything I’ve ever experienced before, it has to be because I’ve yet to actually satisfy myself with her yet. It will still end eventually, like every other sexual encounter I’ve ever had.

  A punch of sadness hits me in the chest at the thought. I can’t imagine ever getting enough of her, but I ignore the thought and focus on her again.

  I hold her upright, my hands supporting her back, her hips pressed against my chest.

  She lowers her eyes to meet mine, though I doubt she can see me in the dark. She frees her hands from her uniform and strokes her fingers into my hair. “That was…” Her tone rasps, and she fails to find words.

  She leans down to kiss me, instead.

  Her hands quiver on my cheeks, and her lips are still trembling, trying to catch her breath. I meet her lips, and they are full of both satisfaction and still-burgeoning need.

  “Koviye,” she breathes. “I wish we had more time… I would like to—”

  I kiss each of her wrists and stand. “We have people to rescue.”

  She nods and puts her arms back in her uniform. The dim light glances off her body, and I can’t help but stare as she covers herself. Her skin is a soft marvel. Her emotions glow around her in a sated hushed burgundy, but she’s not like a Fellamana. Her skin itself doesn’t change color like mine does. She’s smooth and unwavering in texture and tone. So alien to me, fascinating and lovely. Her human curves are a wonder I want to trace with my hands again and again.

  Her utilitarian, shapeless gray uniform mocks me and is a criminally ugly garment that should never be allowed to conceal such beauty. But it’s what she has, her professional military garb.

  I feel calmer, still ravenous with my unsatisfied desidre, with my undiminished lust for her, but my anxiety has eased. Reciprocation is not what I want or need from her right now. She was clear when we came in here that my clothes stayed on. This was for her. Which is fine with me. For her to attempt to return the pleasure would only complicate the sensitivity of her boundaries. One slow step at a time with this woman. I’m proud that I can satisfy her and keep her limits. I can be with her on this ship. I am not a danger to her.

  She pulls the zipper of her uniform to her chin, and without looking at me, she flips on a light, a harsh fluorescent. It kills it—the mood, the desire floating around us, the cocoon of bliss the darkness enveloped us in.

  Her movements are hurried. She goes to the corner. There’s a pile of titanium armor, and she starts to attach it to her body.

  “Must you wear that?” I thought it was just something the Ten Systems military made them wear so their gender, race, and features were indecipherable. It hides everything about a person’s individuality; it hides who she is.

  She clicks the breast plate into the clasps of the shoulder coverings. “Unless you want me to die from a blaster, yes, I have to wear it.” She says it with grit between her teeth, and she still hasn’t looked at me.

  I glance at my hands, and my skin has returned to its usual serene blue. Which would be a relief, except for the toxin I feel building in my veins. My vision is starting to blur. I haven’t truly fed my desidre with someone in over a week, which is the longest I’ve gone since…since…

  Gods, since my teenage years, I think.

  I draw my attention back to Jenie, who is now plated in her armor. She faces me, and her expression is stern and angular. “We’re done with this, clear? From here forward, once we leave this planet, this is a mission, not
a love fest.”

  I can’t help my eyes widening. “A love fest?”

  Her emotions change and swirl around her in a determined, deep forest green. It’s efficiency, strength. “My desidre is fed. I’m getting off this planet. We have to rescue Assura. Can you keep this straight?”

  I want to tell her that sex and duty don’t have to be exclusive things. They can co-exist. The Fellamana have been doing it for millennia. No matter where we go on this planet, we need sex. No matter what our duty is, we have to take time for it. Lovemaking doesn’t have to get in the way of anything.

  But if it eases her worry, I’ll agree. “I won’t touch you if you don’t want me to.”

  She points a finger hard at my chest. “And you won’t try to seduce me either.”

  “No.” I could tell her that her desidre isn’t totally relieved. The worst of the toxin has freed itself from her blood, and as long as she gets off planet, no more will build up. But she’s avoided feeding it for so long, her body so unused to the toxin inhabiting her blood, she’s going to need to share an orgasm with someone before her blood will run completely clean again.

  I’ll be with her for whenever she decides she’s ready. But I’m not going to argue with her about it now. We need to get off the planet. She’ll feel it herself once we get into orbit.

  She tucks her helmet under her arm. “Time to go.” She ducks out the door, her movements stiffer from the shellskin armor. She moves in it with such practiced ease, she makes it look a part of her and not cumbersome as I would expect.

  I follow her out into the bright morning sunlight. The camp is a bustle of soldiers going about their duties.

  Ilena is waiting for Jenie and leans in to speak low in her ear so that I can’t hear.

  Jenie nods, and Ilena flashes me a smile and a wink. I guess I did what I was supposed to do.

  Jenie marches toward the end of the camp where the speeder I brought her yesterday waits. We all follow, and her bearing of command takes over. “Where’s Leinita?”

  “Here, Lt. General.” The lieutenant rushes up beside her and hands Jenie a loaded weapons belt.

  Jenie continues to walk but lets Ilena hold her helmet while she straps the heavy weapons belt to her hips. There’s a blaster on each side. The barrels hang to her mid-thigh, and she attaches the bottom of the holsters to notches in her armor. Her waist is stocked with other devices and contraptions I don’t recognize.

  I never thought about what it would be like to be a normal mortal—the amount of protection she needs just to stay alive and defend herself. If I could share my Exstare with her, I would. But she’s so well trained, she won’t need me for anything more than a partner in this adventure of ours.

  It doesn’t mean I’m not worried.

  “I trust your decisions while I’m gone,” she says to Leinita. More of her lieutenants are gathering beside her as she walks, and she speaks to them. “Trust each other. Believe in each other. Don’t let discord come between you and destroy all of the unity we’ve gained. General Nemona will return any day now. Maybe before I do.”

  Ilena holds a medical bag in Jenie’s direction. “Can I persuade you to take this?”

  Jenie glances at me for the first time. “What supplies does your ship carry?”

  “The same medical devices we used to heal Assura. The speeder is fully equipped.” But Ilena frowns at me, so I amend, “There’s room for another bag.” I accept it from her.

  We pass the last of the human shelters and come to the field where the speeder sits, invisible.

  Jenie’s already moved on to another conversation with her lieutenants. “Trust the Fellamana only as far as you’re comfortable. It’s okay to keep your distance while remaining allies.”

  I inhale to protest, but a shrill Fellamana whistle rings out from the jungle trees. I turn to see a guard of six Fellamana running into the field—toward me.

  “Koviye!” the leader sings out. “Stop! By order of the council!”

  I swear brutally in my language. “Jenie, we have to go. Now.” I race ahead of her toward the speeder. I press my hand to the invisible panel that opens the small ship’s ramp.

  “Koviye, what’s wrong?” Jenie yells, but she rushes up behind me.

  The clear glass door of the ship gives a loud pop and lowers gracefully to the ground. “They’re going to try and stop us. Get on.”

  “Why would they—”

  “KOVIYE! You’re not authorized to leave the planet!” The Fellamana shouts in my language, so Jenie doesn’t understand. “You’re forbidden to go on this mission!”

  There’s nothing they can do to stop me. They don’t have weapons. They won’t hurt me. But if they get in my way and try to keep me from going with Jenie…

  Her face is scrunched with accusation. “What did you do, Koviye?”

  “It’s just a political tangle.” I try to have patience, praying she’ll get on the speeder without more questions.

  She stares at the approaching Fellamana.

  “Jenie, once we take off, I’ll explain. It’s just a ceremonial thing. It’s nothing.”

  She seems to understand my urgency. If we stop to talk to them, it’ll just take more time for us to get to Assura. “Let’s go!” She leaps onto the ship, and I jump on after her.

  I slam my palm on the close sequence to seal the door, then I dive into the captain’s chair. The auto-launch sequence is activated with two ticks of the button. The ship’s computer tries to speak to me in calming Fellamana tones, but I silence it and punch in the code for maximum speed.

  With a low hum of engines and gradual lift off of the landing gear, we’re away, throttling into the stratosphere, the Fellamana and other humans disappearing from view.

  And nothing but the stars ahead of us.

  Chapter Eleven

  Jenie

  It’s exhilarating. The Fellamana ship speeds us from the planet faster than I’ve ever left orbit before. It’s a fun ride.

  I have enough time to strap in next to Koviye, then BOOM!

  The sound barrier is a thing of the past, and we are gone.

  “Ah!” I laugh, loving the thrill of the speed. The ship is more agile than anything I’ve ever flown in the Ten Systems fleet. Their individual fighters turn like boxes, not like this speeder.

  We’re shot from the planet as though from an ancient slingshot, the harsh pressure of gravity disappearing in weightlessness. The roaring fire of the engines thrusts us into the silent vacuum of space.

  The ship is made of clear glass or whatever the Fellamana call it, even the floor. Everywhere I look, I see stars.

  We drift into space, and the ship has no gravity equalizer. I undo my seat restraints and float to the ceiling.

  “Gods, it’s beautiful,” I gasp, pressing my palms and nose to the glass on the ceiling. I’ve spent most of my adult life in space, but those spaceships didn’t have many windows. The behemoth Ten Systems warships I lived on for ten years have narrow viewing slits, never for the purpose of stargazing.

  I’ve never seen this before—a view of nothing but stars all around me.

  “I’m glad you like it,” Koviye says from his chair, a smile tracing his voice.

  I don’t look at him. I can’t tear my eyes away. I analyze the constellations and point. “There! The Ulreya star.” I’m not sure what prompts me to say it out loud. Perhaps because I can, perhaps because I don’t have soldiers under my command on this ship. I’m free to be myself.

  “That’s where you’re from?” he asks.

  A sinking feeling tightens my stomach. “My home is the third planet from its star, just like Ten Systems’ Earth.”

  “You wish you could go back?”

  I glance at him now. “I have no reason to go back. The Ten Systems destroyed it. They killed everyone.”

  His light blue complexion wavers to a deeper navy. “Everyone?” He murmurs something in the sing-song of Fellamana, some kind of religious incantation, and draws a circular patter
n on his forehead with his finger. “I mourn them with you.”

  “It’s fine.” I clear my throat. “Fifteen years ago. I’m over it.” Sixteen, actually. Whatever.

  “I can’t imagine ever completely healing from the loss of one’s people.” His words are filled with compassion and awe. He’s imagining what it feels like for me, and it doesn’t help. I wish he’d stop.

  “I had to get over it or die.”

  “How did you survive?”

  “The Ten Systems military wanted me. I met all their requirements to be a soldier. They recruited others from our planet, but I’ve never seen them again. They separated us on purpose.”

  “That’s not recruitment. That’s slavery.”

  I take a low breath. “It made it easier if I convinced myself I’d made a choice. I chose to live.”

  “I admire you,” he says with level sincerity. “You not only survived, you excelled. Your strength of character and skill is unmatched. Your people live on in you. The Ulreya must have been a very impressive race.”

  “Species,” I correct him, aware I didn’t have to, but I want to. “We don’t have the same DNA as humans.”

  He leans forward with interest. “So, you don’t share the same genetic composition as your comrades?”

  “My father was human, which is why I resemble humans so much. Most Ulreya have a second set of lungs, a bigger thoracic area; the fact that I don’t is why I had to work so hard to keep up with my cousins as a kid, but I still have a greater lung capacity than humans, which is why the Ten Systems wanted me. I’m human but with a superior respiratory system.” I’m not sure why I’m revealing so much to him. This has turned into a Jenie-tell-all.

  I have to stop before I accidentally confess to him everything about my reproductive biology struggles, which is private. “How far are we from the Hades?” I grasp handholds and lower myself back to the control panel in front of him. I point at a lit-up screen. “Is this the radar?”