The Memory Thief

by Sarina Dorie

  I bethought myself of my very first conversation with Lord Klark and his advice to keep my unchaperoned times with the Jomon a secret, lest the polite society of the British Empire shun me. Even under his care, some had treated me as a curiosity, others a pariah. At his many balls on the space station, he invited the most elite families in the galaxy, though he spared me from attending due to my delicate disposition. At the time I had thought he had understood my dislike of crowds and he genuinely cared about what I wanted. But after learning he’d kept knowledge of my inheritance from me, I distrusted his motives. More likely I’d been an embarrassment to him. The Jeffersons, cousins of my mother, had visited his station once. Because they loathed the sight of me so deeply, Lord Klark had suggested I not attend that ball, as the mere sight of me might spur their anger.

  I didn’t want to cause Lord Klark problems with one of the most prominent American families when politics were already strained between the British and the U.W.A. Meriwether had refused to attend if I wasn’t going, and spent the entire evening with me in my room playing chess. He wasn’t very good at the game, but he knew I liked it and was willing to play for my sake. He wasn’t a bad person. Any other young lady would have been envious he’d bestowed his interest on me. He was a logical choice for marriage. Only he just wasn’t . . . Taishi? Was that the reason I’d never allowed myself to love him?—Some part of me knew I was already married.

  And then there was Hoku Nipa who had taught me to love again. My heart ached. I didn’t know whom I wanted. Nor could I decide until I resolved my past.

  I might not have loved Meriwether the way I did Nipa, but it didn’t mean I wanted to make choices that would hurt him and cause his family shame.

  Nipa sat, waiting for my response. Finally, I said, “Can I interest you in a tour of the ship?”

  “I do not like your harsh lights. They sting the eyes like sunlight on a plateau of snow. I need my goggles to leave this room.”

  I laughed at his analogy. “Let me fix that.” In the hallway I set the lighting controls to dim the hallways and rooms I intended to take him to.

  Nipa didn’t step outside my room. “It is night outside, yes? This is still too bright for this hour. This artificial daylight will confuse my body.” I programmed a thirty percent reduction in light but he shook his head.

  I reduced it another twenty-five percent, more as a jest than because I thought it would be to his liking. With this setting he at least ventured out. “This will do.”

  I patted his cheek. “Indeed? I think at this rate I will never have the chance to swoon over my geari husband’s face.” I meant it as a joke, for there was no name in English for a temporary husband and the word for social obligation in Jomon was the closest I could come.

  His smile vanished. He held my hand to his cheek. I stared into his black eyes, seeing sorrow and something else I couldn’t place. His eyes were the kind one could fall into and never want to leave.

  “I’m sorry,” I said. “I don’t always know the correct words.”

  He squeezed my hand. “And sometimes your clever tongue finds the right meaning regardless.”

  Our tour started in the kitchen with a midnight snack and moved on to each of the closets, storage rooms, quarters and bridge. Nipa studied every riveted seam on the ship’s steel walls, the double-plated, three-inch-thick windows, and the grates on the floor in the hallway. He was fascinated by the workings of our lighting, heat, air conditioning and refrigeration.

  “I had forgotten this is what your world is like. So full of magic,” he said. “It’s no wonder a gaiyojin would want to return to it so badly.”

  I wasn’t sure about that. “There certainly are conveniences onboard. But we take a lot for granted. We have machines and automatons to do our bidding and that frees our time to spend it fretting over trivial matters like acquiring more rosettes for our gowns or asteroids to build colonies on.”

  He patted the metal wall. “Or mines to build more ships like this, ne?”

  I stared at my warped reflection, a blonde woman dressed in a ruffled nightgown and housecoat who didn’t resemble the person I thought I was.

  When I showed him the ship’s engines under the bridge, I pointed at the cogs and gears, the boiler and the steam chamber. He gravitated to the laser in the glass casing in the wall. At the focal point was a pea-sized, red diamond faceted in a cut that ended in a sharp point.

  He inclined his head at the stone. “It’s so small. It’s what Meriwether Nipa wants, yes?”

  I nodded. Only this one was from the Orion colony’s mining operations.

  “He wants it as a tool for your ship’s weapons?” he asked.

  “He doesn’t personally. But others do. How’d you know?”

  “You also wondered how I knew about kissing. I’m ever the diplomat, remember?” He pressed his palms against the glass, squinting at the machine within the encasement. “Why does this stone work and not a smooth one?”

  I flipped on a light switch to illuminate the laser. “I don’t understand, work for what?”

  “For the weapon. Why can a smooth stone not work?”

  “It has to do with light refraction.” Although such subjects were considered unfit for a young lady, I had been drawn to science when the tutor covered such subjects in Meriwether’s education, mostly I suspect because it was forbidden. Lord Klark always suggested I stick to embroidery or the pianoforte with his daughters. Meriwether had been the one to leave electronic book cards out where I could poach them.

  Nipa tapped the glass wall. “It’s very small. Can you tell me what would happen if a larger one was used in the place of this one here?”

  I swallowed. I sensed he meant something deeper with his inquiry. “It would be more powerful. It could create more damage.” If it was cut correctly. If it wasn’t, the beam might not be focused enough or light might go somewhere unexpected.

  I stared at the laser and for the briefest of moments I experienced deja vu. Before me I saw another laser with a large, round diamond like the one Taishi had given me. In the distant fog of my mind, I sank into a sense of desperation and fear. Great pain and anguish washed over me. My head spun. I blinked and the image was gone. My knees wobbled.

  Nipa caught my arm. “You are tired and I am keeping you from resting.”

  He circled an arm around my waist. I was more tired than he knew. Not just in body, but in mind. I was tired of my life not being my own, of having to live between two worlds where I belonged to neither. I was tired of other people deciding my fate and telling me how I would live, whom I would marry, and what I was to wear.

  I wanted to be free of my cage.

  Nipa escorted me to my own bed. “Rest. We have more hours before it is safe to travel.”

  “Truly, Hoku, I’m not that tired.” I threw off my slippers and sat on my bed anyway. He looked wearier than I felt.

  “I know what will make you sleepy,” he said.

  I crossed my arms, thinking he meant to say memory moss or some such thing, but instead he strode over to my dresser where I kept my hair brush. He untied the ribbon from my long braid and loosened the plaits. I tucked myself under the blankets while he brushed my hair. This did relax me just as it had when Faith and I had brushed each other’s hair long ago. Taishi used to watch in awe, as our hair was so different from his own. He used to tell me he wished to cut off my braid and steal it so he could have it for himself. It was one of his many jests to make me laugh.

  I closed my eyes and leaned against Nipa. I didn’t remember falling asleep but I must have. I opened my eyes to find his arms around me. He spooned against me. The steady rhythm of his breath made me feel secure. For a short time, I forgot to worry.

  Nipa held the canvas bag open as I arranged the boxes of syringes and vials of vaccines within. I knelt as close to the bag as possible, for my corset wouldn’t allow me much movement. It was so uncomfortable after having been without it for days. One taste of freedom had ruined me.


  Mr. Foster leaned against the doorframe watching for a time before he excused himself to attend to “ship’s duties.” I suppose he might have felt some reservation leaving a lady unchaperoned with a man he considered a savage—though not so concerned that he would miss lunch for it.

  Every time I gazed out the window, the snow still fell. Time was being wasted. My inability to do anything was maddening.

  “Are you sure we can’t fly the ship closer to your palace?” I asked. “We would still have to wait out the storm, but after that it would save us time. We could bring more supplies too.” I nodded to the vaccine machine.

  He looked up, eyes wide with hope. “Can you fly this ship?”

  “No. I’ve never flown. But Mr. Foster has a pilot’s license.” I flicked my long braid over my shoulder and smoothed stray hairs out of my face before packing another box of vaccines in the bag.

  Nipa shook his head. “That will not do. Your people will then know where mine reside.” He paced the floor. “We must wait and then take the chiramantep.”

  “But we already know where your people live. You took Meriwether, Captain Ford and Mr. Charbonneau to your palace.”

  “Yes, during a whiteout. Do you think they will have any idea how to return to the ship—if we allow them to return at all? The elders have listened to my idea to bring them back blindfolded, but the matter hasn’t yet been decided. It’s bad enough they know we live. Gaijin will now search until they find us to kill us.”

  I sighed in exasperation. “That isn’t the way it works. The British Empire of Planets and United Worlds of America have a system in place. When a planet is discovered to have colonists from the five original tribes living on it—or any indigenous peoples of unknown origin that we find—we are to report our findings to our government. They send diplomats and protect your planet from colonization. They want peaceful relations.” Or so my father had said. My mother’s parents had been important leaders in the government of the United Worlds. Even if my father despised his in-laws for the pain they had caused my mother, I had heard him on more than one occasion proclaim how they protected the cultures of indigenous people. It was the same with the alien suffrage movement in British Empire.

  I stared into the polished metal of the infirmary walls, a warped reflection of myself staring back. I had never met any of the Jeffersons to know if they truly were the advocates my parents had claimed. Even so, I despised them for the way they had disowned us all. Could it be that they were so spiteful they would wish to see this world destroyed because my father had been the one to survey it? Or had he not reported that the planet was inhabited?

  Nipa set a box down with a thud. “Diplomats? Like Nipa Klark? Since when is tearing up our planet and killing my people diplomacy and peace? When my people don’t kill first, we regret it later. The hatred of gaijin is so great that most of my people wish we killed all those from the Santa Maria the first time aliens came to this province.”

  The horror of the statement stole across me. “So the rumors are true. Is that why you kill all gaijin now? You massacre every ship that lands?”

  “Do you truly think we have the means to destroy starships? It is always the gaijin fighting amongst themselves that saves us from facing as many foes. Just as the bigger tanuki eat the smaller raccoon dogs, bigger ships destroy the smaller ships. How many of those bigger ships do you suppose are Klark Nipa’s? We only kill for survival. He kills for lust.”

  I rose. “What are you implying about my future father-in-law?”

  “I need not imply. I tell you outright that your Klark Nipa is an evil man. He hunts us so he might have this world to himself. His son is no better. He probably brought disease here on purpose.”

  My anger flared and I found myself shouting. “How dare you say such things about the people who have cared for me! You are a liar.”

  “I speak the truth. I can show you my memories of his deeds.” He snapped the pouch he wore around his neck and emptied the contents of green powder into his hand. He spat into the mound and rubbed his hands together.

  I stepped back. “No. I will not perform memory exchange with you.” Not in anger. It felt too dangerous, too vile and unclean after all the happy times we’d shared.

  “Then you will never know. You will not have the chance to refute my claims and you will always wonder if I was right.”

  I hesitated. I needed the memory moss on my own hands in order to give him memories. If he gave me his own memories, I had nothing to lose . . . if I was right and Lord Klark was innocent. I didn’t want to think about what it meant if I wasn’t.

  He held his hands palms up as he stepped closer. My shoulders hunched up automatically and my spine stiffened at the realization I had to undress in front of him here in the ship. There was nowhere for him to place his hands if I didn’t. I unfastened the bone buttons on the front of my blouse and shrugged it down enough to expose my back. He circled his arms around me, taking care not to smear green into my braid. He rested his palms above my shoulder blades.

  The pleasant tingle wasn’t as intoxicating as the bed of moss we had shared ourselves in, but it still made me lightheaded and calm. I closed my eyes, sinking deeper into myself and then into someone else. The darkness opened up and I was in the jungle as it once had been. The humid air pressed in on my skin and the sound of nose birds trumpeted to each other in greeting. A feathered raptor snake slithered through the air ahead of me, chasing after the smaller birds. The air smelled green, but tainted with smoke. I watched through the leaves of a lacy fern as a gaijin plowing a field was stopped by another in uniform. The uniformed man argued with the other over claims to the land on the planet. Another gaijin in uniform drew a laser pistol and shot the farmer. I watched in frozen horror as men in uniforms burned the home of the settler, his family trapped inside.

  The memory slipped away. I sank deeper into the blackness to find myself watching a large ship hovering in the sky. It rained down laser beams at a smaller ship attempting to take off. It exploded and peppered fire over the forest. The screeches of tanuki in pain rose over the crash of trees. The air smelled of burnt meat and chemicals. My stomach churned.

  I ran through the forest, away from the ship and the fire.

  The darkness enveloped me again. For the briefest of moments, I thought I was coming back to myself. I was able to reason that this destruction was horrible, but it had nothing to do with Lord Klark.

  I slipped deeper into the past. My chest tightened in anger and I found it difficult to breathe. I gripped a spear in my hand. High in an umbrella tree I crouched above the gaijin men. A man in a top hat and a monocle surveyed the land. Even with his hair still brown rather than speckled with gray, I recognized him as Lord Klark.

  He stood at the edge of the cliff overlooking the valley of chiramantep below. “If only Clementine had lived to see this world. She and I could have ruled here happily.”

  A man in uniform half carried, half dragged an injured man to Lord Klark. From the red whiskers waxed into neat curls and his bushy sideburns, I recognized Mr. Price right away. He had served on the Santa Maria.

  Mr. Klark raised an eyebrow. “You’ve disappointed me, Mr. Price. I thought you meant to keep me informed about the assets of this world. You mentioned nothing about treasure, only the natives.”

  Lord Klark held up a stone as red as the blood dribbling out of Mr. Price’s leg. It took a moment for me to notice the belt around his leg. His foot was missing.

  Lord Klark nodded to the man in uniform. “Leave us.”

  The guard dumped Mr. Price onto the ground. The crewman tried to sit up and failed. He lifted his head and reached out toward the standing man. “Water. Please, my lord.”

  Lord Klark lit a cigar. “I came to this world to settle a debt and what do I find instead? You’ve gone native and changed alliances. I cannot have an employee double crossing me, now can I?” He puffed out smoke rings.

  “I didn’t change alliances. I was always true to you. Alw
ays, my lord.”

  “And yet you defied me and sent word to the United Worlds that this planet was inhabited.”

  “No, not me, Lord Klark. It was Mr. Earnshaw. I couldn’t convince him—”

  “Don’t lie to me. Your name was on the interstellar message.” He grabbed the man’s face, smushing his fingers into his cheeks. “Did you not think I would have friends within the United Worlds who work for me as well? Or did you think my influence only reached within the British Empire?”

  Mr. Price closed his eyes, his mouth turning slack. Lord Klark struck him in the face. Mr. Price opened his eyes and sucked in a breath.

  “I can forgive some of your trespasses, but the matter that concerns me the most is the treasure. You told me there were laser grade diamonds. Where are they? It isn’t too late to tell me. The ship surgeon can still reattach your foot.”

  Mr. Price made a choking noise. He spat in Lord Klark’s face and closed his eyes again. Mr. Price shuddered and his breath came rattling out of him.

  The ferocious cry Lord Klark made would have rivaled any chiramantep. “Tell me!” he demanded. He kicked at the unconscious man, but he couldn’t be roused. When shaking didn’t work, he grabbed Mr. Price by the shirt and hefted him over the cliff. A string of curses left his lips.

  My heart beat wildly in my chest. I hated this man with a fury I had never felt for any person before. He’d killed my people, stolen my beloved from me, and would kill more people before he left.

  He was alone and unprotected by his guards. I raised my spear.

  “Father?” a small voice asked from below.

  A fair-skinned boy of no more than fifteen edged out of the trees. He carried a bouquet of flowers. “Is everything all right?”

  “What are you doing out here? I told my men to keep you in the ship.”