The Secret Life of Pets 2 Junior Novelization (The Secret Life of Pets 2)

by David Lewman

  “Let me tell you something,” Snowball said proudly. “Criminals are gonna take one good look at me, and they’re just gonna give up!” Straining with all his might, he failed to lift the pink weight. He stopped, breathing hard. “Okay, this is obviously glued to the floor.”

  A little dog popped her head through an open window. She was wearing a headband with a flower on it. “Excuse me, rabbit, cat,” she said politely. “Do any of you know Captain Snowball?”

  Snowball looked stunned for a moment. Then he shook himself and stuttered, “Yeah, uh, yeah. Yes. Yes, we do.”

  “And here we go,” Chloe said, rolling her eyes at the thought of things only getting weirder from here.

  “Ooo! Good!” the little dog said, coming into the living room. “My name is Daisy, and I really gotta talk to him. A poor, defenseless animal needs saving!”

  “Are you saying…?” Snowball asked, amazed that a potential mission had dropped right into his lap so quickly.

  “Yes!” Daisy confirmed, with wide-open eyes. “I need Captain Snowball for a”—the little dog leaned in closer and spoke confidentially—“top secret rescue!”

  Excited, Snowball turned to go to Molly’s bedroom. “All right, well, I gotta go,” he said. “But nice meeting you…uh…What was your name again?”

  Daisy looked annoyed. “Okay, you don’t listen. It’s Daisy.”

  “Whatever,” Snowball said as he hopped down the hallway. “I got to get the dude to get the stuff to do the thing.” He looked back over his shoulder. “Bye-bye.”

  “Mm-hmm,” Daisy said, puzzled. “That was weird.”

  “Oh, sister,” Chloe shook her head knowingly. “It’s gonna get way weirder.”

  In Molly’s room, Snowball grabbed his superhero costume and pulled it on. “IT’S SNOW TIME, BABY!”

  On a city street, a helpless bunny was cornered by three evil villains. “Help!” the little bunny cried.

  Suddenly, Captain Snowball landed right between the bunny and the bad guys. “Anybody hungry?” he asked. “HA!” He whipped out two carrots and used them to fight off the bad guys and send them flying. Then he gave a triumphant yell—“AHHHHHH!”—as the third bad guy crashed through a wall.

  “Oh, Captain Snowball!” the little bunny said, her heart swelling with love for the brave superhero. He had saved the day.

  Captain Snowball struck an action pose and yelled again. “WAAAAAH!”

  * * *

  In the living room, Daisy and Chloe heard Snowball’s yell. Chloe rolled her eyes. He was still in the bedroom getting dressed. The whole incident with the helpless bunny and the bad guys had been in his vivid imagination.

  Daisy looked toward the bedroom. “Uh, is he okay?”

  Chloe was lying on her back. “Not in any way, no.”

  Wearing his superhero costume, Snowball bounded into the room. “Hello, citizens!” he said in his deepest, most super-heroic voice.

  “Who is that?” Daisy asked.

  “I’m Captain Snowball!” he explained, putting his fists on his hips. “I hear one of you needs my help!”

  Looking excited, Daisy pointed at herself. “Ooo, that’s me!”

  “Ah, very good,” Captain Snowball declared. “New Dog, tell me your story.”

  Daisy nodded. “Okay, well, it all began when I was on my way back from China, via what some call an airplane.” She went on to tell her story….

  * * *

  In the cargo storage compartment of an airplane, Daisy and other animals opened their cages and let themselves out. They had a great time playing poker, gambling with the pieces of clothing in the luggage.

  Daisy was having fun until she heard a rattling sound and decided to investigate. Searching the darkest corner of the cargo compartment, she found a big cage covered with a tarp that read HAPPY SERGEI’S CIRCUS OF FUN. The whole cage was shaking.

  She pulled off the tarp. In the gloom, she could just make out a pair of big, blue, scared eyes. Peering closer, she saw paws in shackles and chains around an animal’s neck. She realized it was a young white tiger, chained up and terrified.

  * * *

  In the apartment, Chloe and Snowball listened to Daisy’s amazing story. “The tiger’s name was Hu!” she said. “The poor baby kitty was being held against his will!”

  “Whoa,” Snowball said.

  “That is unbelievable,” Chloe added.

  “I know, right?” Snowball agreed.

  “No,” Chloe clarified. “I mean, I literally don’t believe a word of it.” She turned to Daisy. “No offense. Or do take offense. I’m good either way.”

  “Uh, pardon me, offense is very much taken,” Daisy said. “That story happened! And it gets WORSE.”

  * * *

  When the plane landed in New York City, Daisy was reunited with her owner. As her happy owner was petting her, Daisy saw Hu’s cage being loaded into an old, beat-up delivery truck by clowns. Standing next to the truck was Sergei, a mean-looking man in a fur coat.

  “Hey, watch it!” Sergei barked to the clowns moving the cage. “Use your no-good clown muscles and push. You clowns are taking too long! Why is it so hard?”

  Hu was being taken away to join Sergei’s circus. According to Daisy, Sergei was pure, concentrated circus evil!

  * * *

  Having finished her story, Daisy got right to the point. “That tiger needs Captain Snowball!”

  Snowball didn’t need to hear another word. “Daisy, let’s go!”

  “Yeah!” Daisy cheered.

  Snowball and Daisy ran out of the living room, heading straight through the open window onto the fire escape. “Let’s free that tiger!” Snowball cried.

  “Or die trying!” Daisy added.

  Snowball looked uncertain about that part. “Well,” he said, “I mean…”

  “I mean, we might,” Daisy pointed out.

  “Um…,” Snowball said, still unsure about dying for a tiger he didn’t even know.

  “Probably you,” Daisy said.

  Captain Snowball looked startled. “Huh?”

  “You’re wearing the bright suit,” Daisy explained, shrugging. “Everyone’s gonna notice you. I’ll be fine.”

  Early that same evening, Max, Duke, and Liam were sleeping peacefully in the car. “Hey, guys!” Chuck said. “We’re here!”

  “Yay!” Katie cheered.

  Max and Duke sat up and looked out the car windows. They saw a beautiful farm with fields, woods, a barn, and a big house with lights gleaming in the windows.

  BUH-CAWK!

  A chicken fluttered right by the window, startling Max. He drew back.

  Katie got out of the car, opened the rear door, and lifted Liam from his car seat. A farmer, who looked like an older, shaggier version of Chuck, stepped off the house’s front porch. “Hey there!” he called cheerfully.

  “There’s Uncle Shep!” Chuck said, grinning.

  “Welcome to the farm!” Uncle Shep cried. “Where’s my little man?” He held out his arms, and Katie carried Liam over to meet his great-uncle.

  Max slowly climbed down from the back seat, careful not to scrape his cone. He’d never been anywhere like this before, and he wasn’t sure whether he liked it or not. It was very different from New York City. He could see animals and machines, like tractors, that were different.

  “Oh, wow,” Duke said enthusiastically as he jumped out of the car. “Look at this place!”

  “Yeah,” Max said a little nervously. “Yeah, it’s—”

  “So many smells I have never smelled before!” Duke enthused. “My nose is so confused and happy. Come on, Max, let’s go explore.” He ran off to sniff around the farm.

  “Uh…wait up,” Max said, and took off after his buddy. He found the big shaggy dog greeting a cow grazing on fresh green grass. �
��Hey, cow!” Duke called to her. “Moooo!”

  The cow stared at Duke, chewing her cud.

  “You’re a cow,” Duke said, laughing. “You’re supposed to moo!”

  “Woof! Woof!” the cow said.

  Duke looked surprised. “What?”

  “Oh, I’m a dog,” the cow said sarcastically. “I’m wagging my tail like an idiot!” She stuck out her tongue and panted like a dog.

  “Okay, dude,” Duke said, “not cool.”

  “Oh, are you gonna throw a ball?” the cow continued. “Oh, please throw a ball, and I will chase it because my brain is the size of an acorn!”

  Duke frowned. “Okay, yeah, I get it. You’ve made your point.”

  But the cow just kept on mocking the dogs. “Oh, look! I’m peeing on a tree! I now own this tree!”

  “Okay, great. I’m leaving now,” Duke said as he turned away.

  “I guess I’ll just stare at the door until you come back,” the cow called after him.

  Max followed Duke. “This place is crazy!” the small dog said.

  “Just what you need!” Duke said.

  FWUMP! A turkey leg stomped on the ground. The turkey kicked up dirt, revving up, like a bull about to charge.

  “What is happening?” Max asked, scared. Through his cone, he saw the turkey running straight at them! “AAAAHHH!” Max screamed as he turned and ran. “No, no, no, no, no!”

  The turkey tore after Max. “No, no, no, no, no!” Max kept yelling. He did his best to get away, but the determined turkey was gaining on him.

  “DUKE!” Max called. “What did I do? What did I do?”

  Max and the turkey ran by a broken-down truck. Inside the truck, a big farm dog named Rooster sat in his special spot, wearing a red bandanna around his neck. He watched the turkey chasing Max, who did not impress Rooster in the slightest. Very few things did.

  After a few moments of watching Max run away from the turkey, Rooster leaned out of the truck and let out a single, mighty “WOOF!”

  At the sound of Rooster’s bark, the turkey froze in its tracks. All the farm animals stopped what they were doing. When Rooster barked, the animals listened.

  “Huh?” Max said, wondering what was going on.

  The turkey turned and sulked away, leaving Max alone. Max looked back at the old truck, but Rooster had already lain back down, his work done for the moment.

  “Whoa!” Duke said, totally impressed by Rooster’s authority. What a dog!

  DING-DING! DING-DING!

  Uncle Shep was on the porch, ringing the dinner bell. “Dinner’s on!” he called.

  Duke and Max didn’t have to be called twice.

  * * *

  Back in Chloe’s apartment, the lights were turned down low and relaxing music played. Gidget crept in through an open window, whispering, “Chloe! I need your help! Chloe!”

  Tiptoeing through the apartment, Gidget spotted Chloe sitting on a couch with a lampshade on her head, purring. “Oh,” Gidget said, surprised. “Chloe, are you okay?”

  “Shhhhhhhhh,” Chloe hissed like a tire slowly losing air.

  “Sorry,” Gidget apologized. “Real quick—why is there a lampshade on your head?”

  “Heh heh,” Chloe chuckled. “Listen, Gidget, baby, I gotta be honest with you. My owner might have given me a little bit of catnip.”

  Gidget didn’t know much about catnip, but she guessed it must make cats feel very relaxed. “Oh, okay, gotcha,” she said. “That’s great. Um, listen—”

  “It is great, Gidget,” Chloe interrupted. “Everything isss grrreat.”

  “All right,” Gidget said impatiently. She needed to ask Chloe for help retrieving Busy Bee.

  Chloe cocked her head. “Do you hear that?”

  “Hear what?” Gidget said, listening.

  “It’s like a tiny motorrr,” Chloe said. “Like a humming sound.”

  Gidget looked confused. “Tiny motor? Humming? I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Then she realized what the sound was. “Oh, Chloe, you’re purring,” she said, chuckling. “That sound is you.”

  “What? That’s me?” Chloe asked, surprised. “The sound is coming from inside me?”

  “Yep,” Gidget assured her.

  “Ohhh,” Chloe said. “I wonder what other sounds I can make.” She giggled and then made a weird sound from deep inside her belly. “MMROWWWER.”

  Gidget tried to get back to the reason she’d come to Chloe in the first place. “You see, Max trusted me to look after his Busy Bee, but then—”

  “MMRREEEP!” Chloe was trying another sound.

  Gidget sighed, exasperated. “Chloe, would you listen?”

  “MMRROOOP!”

  “Wow,” Gidget said, scarcely able to believe Chloe was still trying out weird sounds. “Please stop—”

  “MMMRRROP-ABOAP-ADOAP!”

  “Are you finished?” Gidget asked, really annoyed.

  “MEEP.”

  Gidget stuck her face close to Chloe’s, demanding her attention. “This is important! I lost Busy Bee. I gotta get him back, but to do that…Chloe, I need you to teach me”—the little dog dropped her voice to a low conspiratorial whisper—“the way of the cat!”

  * * *

  Back on the farm, the sun was close to setting. Chuck, Katie, and Uncle Shep were eating dinner at a big picnic table in the front yard. Uncle Shep had put out all kinds of delicious food, fresh from the farm. Liam was playing in a portable playpen with Max standing guard nearby. He was convinced that the farm presented all sorts of new dangers to Liam, and he wanted to be ready. He kept looking back and forth, swinging his plastic cone from side to side.

  Duke was jumping around trying to catch fireflies. “Here we go! I’m gonna getcha!” he told the fireflies joyfully. “Max, come on! Try to catch a firefly!”

  “That sounds great, but I think Liam wants me near him,” Max said. “You know, he’s a little freaked out being in this weird place.”

  Duke looked at Liam. He was playing with his toys, looking completely happy and not at all freaked out. “I think he’ll be okay,” Duke suggested.

  “Okay,” Max said hesitatingly. “Just one firefly.”

  Max jumped up and snapped with his mouth. “Yes! I…UGH! AAAAUGH!” He stuck out his tongue. It had glowing green firefly goop on it. Looking around desperately, Max spotted a water bowl on the ground and ran over to it. He started lapping up water.

  Rooster shoved his face right in front of Max’s. “Ahh!” Max yelled, startled. Then he recognized the big dog who’d stopped the turkey for him. “Oh. Hello.”

  “A dog’s got two things in this life,” Rooster growled. “His water bowl and his dignity. You take one, you take the other.”

  “I, uh, didn’t know this was your bowl,” Max said.

  “That cone blocking your view?” Rooster asked. “The bowl’s got my name on the side.”

  Rooster spun the bowl around. On the other side was a picture of a rooster.

  “We are so sorry, Mr. Chicken,” Duke said.

  Rooster glared at Duke. “Name’s not Chicken!” he snarled. “Do I look like a chicken to you?”

  “No,” Max said, cringing. “No, sir.”

  “No,” Duke agreed. “Not even a little bit.”

  “Name’s Rooster,” the big dog told them.

  “Oh, okay,” Max said. “I’m Max, and this is—”

  “Hey, what’s that kid doing in the cage?” Rooster interrupted, nodding his head toward Liam. “Something wrong? He got the fever?”

  “That’s Liam,” Max explained. “He likes to run.”

  Rooster shrugged. “So let him run.”

  Max gave a knowing look. “Well, Liam’s superfast. We blink, and he’s up a tree.”

  “So then your kid�
��s up a tree,” Rooster said in his low, raspy voice. “What’s the problem?”

  To Max, the problem seemed incredibly obvious. But this farm dog didn’t quite understand. “Well…,” Max said slowly and clearly, “he could fall.”

  “He might,” Rooster agreed.

  Rooster still didn’t seem to get it. “And then he hurts himself,” Max explained.

  “Oh, so he got really high up in this hypothetical tree,” Rooster said sarcastically.

  “I…nungh…” Max made a frustrated sound. It seemed to be impossible to explain the perils that Liam faced to Rooster.

  “Kid gets hurt, he learns not to do it again,” Rooster said. “You know how many electric cords I’ve chewed?”

  Max had no idea. “Like, multiple cords?”

  “One,” Rooster said. “It shocked me. I walked backward for a week. But I never chewed a cord again.”

  Max shook his head. “That is great for you—and it, um, explains a lot—but I like to protect Liam from everything.”

  Rooster was already walking away. “Well, that’s you. And you’re wrong.”

  Max was mad at Rooster for saying he was wrong. He turned to Duke. “Can you believe that guy?” he demanded.

  “Yeah, he was cool,” Duke said enthusiastically.

  “No! He wasn’t!” Max snapped.

  “I know!” Duke agreed, wanting to be on his friend’s side. “He wasn’t cool at all.”

  Uncle Shep and Katie cleared dishes off the picnic table and carried them inside. Chuck lifted Liam out of his playpen and carried him into the house. It was starting to get dark.

  “Come on,” Duke said to Max. They trotted up onto the porch and started to walk through the front door.

  “Whoa,” Uncle Shep said in his friendly voice. “Hold up there. Dogs sleep outside.”