The Secret Life of Pets 2 Junior Novelization (The Secret Life of Pets 2)

by David Lewman

  “Uh, pardon?” Max said.

  “Huh?” Duke said. The two of them always slept inside the apartment with Katie, Chuck, and Liam. Now they were supposed to spend the night out in the dark?

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,” Max said. “Wait. Let’s talk about this like rational—”

  SLAM! The front door closed.

  “Oh,” Max said, stunned.

  * * *

  Pedaling a pink plastic tricycle with one big wheel in front and two little ones in back, Captain Snowball pulled onto the grounds of a circus. He climbed off the tricycle and checked his pulse while trying to catch his breath. He’d been pedaling hard. Daisy got off the back of the tricycle.

  “All right,” Snowball gasped. “We’re here. In record time, too, thanks to the Bunnymobile.”

  “Oh yeah!” Daisy agreed.

  Snowball spotted a nearby cardboard box, dragged it over to the tricycle, and covered the Bunnymobile with the box. “Stealth mode,” he explained. “Let’s go!”

  As Daisy trotted quietly under a banner that read HAPPY SERGEI’S CIRCUS OF FUN, Snowball stuck to the shadows, rolling and hopping, bouncing and banging into things and generally not being very stealthy at all. Making their way through the circus, they looked for clues as to where Hu the white tiger was being kept. When Snowball turned a corner, he found himself face to face with a big scary clown!

  “AAAAAH!” Snowball screamed. Looking closer, he realized the clown was just a clown-shaped trash can.

  “You are jumpy,” Daisy observed.

  Snowball tried to appear calm. “I mean ‘Aaaaah, that’s cool!’ Or ‘Aaaaah, look at that thing I’m not scared of right there.’ ” He pointed at a piece of trash on the ground. “Or ‘Aaaaah, there’s a candy wrapper on the ground.’ See? It’s just a thing I do.”

  Nearby, Sergei growled, “Come on, you stupid tiger!” CRACK!

  Daisy and Snowball heard a whip, followed by the whimpers of a scared cat.

  “There he is!” Daisy whispered. “Let’s go!”

  The two rescuers snuck into a circus tent and hid underneath the bleachers. Sergei snarled, “We don’t have all night!”

  When Snowball and Daisy peeked out from underneath the bleachers, they saw Hu perched nervously on a high platform next to Sergei. On the ground below the platform was a tiny pool of water.

  “You’re wasting Sergei’s time!” the evil circus owner barked. He held up a long leather whip. He snapped it. Terrified of the sound, Hu shrank back.

  Horrified, Daisy whispered to Snowball, “We gotta do something!”

  SPLASH! Hu fell into the tiny pool of water!

  “Come on!” Captain Snowball said.

  * * *

  A little while later, Hu was locked in his cage just outside the tent. Five wolves guarded the cage. They had chains around their necks that were attached to stakes in the ground.

  “We try again tomorrow,” Sergei warned. “If tiger does not do trick, then Sergei turns tiger into rug!” He looked at the wolves. “Do not let tiger out of your sight.” He hung a ring of keys on a hook and stomped away.

  Hu cowered in his cage. Snowball and Daisy ran over to him. “It’s okay, Hu,” Daisy reassured him. “It’s me, Daisy. From the plane.”

  The tiger’s eyes went wide in surprise. He nuzzled Daisy through the bars. He was happy to see her.

  “HEY!” snapped one of the wolves. “Step away from the tiger!”

  “MIND YOUR BUSINESS, WOLF!” Daisy snapped back. The rest of the wolves perked up, ready to take on this little dog.

  Daisy spotted the ring of keys on the hook, just past the wolves. “Ooooo,” she said, excited to see the very thing she needed to let Hu out of his cage. She started running between the wolves, heading for the keys. She jumped up onto the wolves’ backs, leaping from wolf to wolf as they wheeled and snapped at her. Their chains started to tangle up.

  Hoping to smash the lock on Hu’s cage, Snowball picked up a large mallet. But it was far too heavy for him to lift. He fell backward. “AAAAAH!”

  One of the wolves strained and pulled at his chain until the stake ripped out of the ground. “Huh?” Snowball said when he saw the wolf pull free. “AAAAAHHH!” He took off. The wolf chased after him, dragging his chain and stake behind him.

  The four other wolves kept snapping at Daisy, but she managed to dodge their long, sharp fangs. “Ha ha!” she laughed triumphantly. But she still couldn’t quite reach the ring of keys. The hook was just beyond her grasp.

  The wolf who had broken free chased Snowball through carnival game booths until Snowball froze among plush prizes, pretending to be a stuffed animal. He thought he was in the clear until—

  SNAP! The wolf reappeared, snapping his jaws! Snowball leapt away just in time, feeling the wolf’s hot breath on his fur. He grabbed a water gun from one of the booths and squirted the wolf in the face. Then he started running, with the wet wolf in hot pursuit.

  As he sprinted through the circus grounds, Snowball nervously chanted to himself, “Gonna die, gonna die, gonna die…”

  Snowball ran as fast as he could, zigzagging over the seats of a carnival ride. The wolf chasing him leapt through the air with his mouth open and his white teeth shining. Snowball clenched his eyes shut tight, waiting for the wolf’s attack—but the wolf’s chain snagged on one of the ride’s cars! He was stuck! A safety bar lowered over the wolf, holding him in the car. Someone had pressed a button in the control booth, lowering the metal bar. A paw pressed another button, and the ride started up. The wolf was whisked away on the carnival ride!

  Snowball opened his eyes and saw Daisy in the booth. She was controlling the ride! “Huh?” he said, surprised to see her there. She was holding a ring of keys in her mouth. “I goff duh keez!” she said with her mouth full. “Leff cho!”

  “What?” Snowball asked, unable to understand what she was saying.

  Daisy spat out the key ring, hit a button with her paw, and spoke into a microphone. Her voice came out through a loudspeaker. “I SAID I GOT THE KEYS! COME ON! LET’S GO!”

  She ran out of the booth. “All right,” Snowball said, following her. “Yeah, of course.”

  They quickly made their way to Hu’s cage and used the keys to swing the door open. Hu smiled, happy to see his friend Daisy. She and Snowball bumped paws and said, “Boom!” They hurried away with the tiger, passing the guard wolves, still tangled in their chains.

  “You know what I learned today?” Daisy said. “Wolves are jerks.”

  Bound together, the wolves growled.

  * * *

  Meanwhile, out in the country, Duke was sound asleep on the front porch of the big farmhouse. Max was wide awake, worrying about Liam. “Duke,” he whispered. “Psst. Duke! I think we should check on Liam.” He waited a moment for his brother to answer. “Duke!”

  But Duke just mumbled in his sleep, “I finally caught you, tail.”

  Unable to wake Duke, Max headed off all on his own into the dark. He carefully stepped off the porch into the wet grass and started walking around the house. He peered in a window. No Liam. He moved to the next window and looked in. There he was! Liam was fast asleep, smiling and happy.

  Max smiled, too. If Liam was happy, he was happy, though he longed to be inside the house with him. He headed back toward the front porch.

  CHIRP! CHIRP!

  “What’s that?” Max hissed, alarmed. He looked around and spotted a small bird.

  SQUAWK!

  He froze. Max saw a much larger crow on a branch. “Okay, okay…,” he said, trying to calm himself down. He started to take a step, but—

  CROAK! SCREECH!

  “What?” he said. He tried to see what was making these sounds in the night, but the cone made it tricky. All of a sudden, the night sounds came at him thick and fast! A raccoon snarled. A deer
grunted. A cricket chirped. Duke snored. A squirrel gnawed on corn. A turkey gobbled. A cow farted. A coyote howled. AROOOO!

  “AHHH!” Max yelled. He’d thought the city was noisy, but it seemed like nothing compared to the farm at night.

  Then Max got a creepy feeling, like something was watching him. He looked at the bushes behind him. Something was moving in there! He took a couple of steps forward, then looked back behind him again. Nothing. He swiveled his cone forward and saw…A FOX! RIGHT IN HIS PATH!

  “Aaaaah! Wait, wait, wait, no! Please!” Max begged the creature. “You don’t want to eat me! I’m skin and bones!”

  The fox moved toward him. Max backed away. “No, no, no, no, no,” he repeated.

  The fox crouched down, ready to pounce. Max closed his eyes. “So this is how it ends?” he thought, his four legs trembling.

  WOOF! With a mighty bark, Rooster charged out of the darkness straight at the fox, chasing it through the thick grass! The fox ran away through the moonlight.

  Rooster trotted back, spat out a tuft of fox hair, and shot Max a cold, annoyed look.

  “Uh, thanks,” Max said, laughing nervously. “He got the jump on me. I guess I couldn’t see him because of the cone.”

  Rooster shrugged. “Then get rid of the cone.”

  Max looked puzzled. “What was that?”

  “Ditch it,” Rooster said.

  “Oh man, I would,” Max claimed. “I would, but my therapist says I need it.”

  Rooster made a face like something smelled bad. “Oh, okay. Well, that makes sense.” That was what Rooster said, but he thought that what Max had said made absolutely no sense at all.

  Max bought it. “Yeah,” he said, chuckling. “It’s a medical device. These doctors—”

  Suddenly, Rooster lunged at Max! “AAAAH!” Max screamed.

  Rooster ripped the cone off Max’s head with his teeth and tossed it to the ground. “There,” he said. “You’re cured. Hallelujah.” He walked away, smiling.

  Max watched Rooster go, stunned that he’d just ripped the cone off without even asking.

  “Not a fan,” Max grumbled to himself. “I am not a fan of the farm.”

  * * *

  In her apartment, Chloe slipped a sock over Gidget’s tail, saying, “Tail…” She placed cat ears on the little dog’s head. “Ears…”

  Wearing her new tail and ears, Gidget stood still. Mel, Buddy, and Sweetpea, a little green budgie bird with a yellow head, checked out her new feline look.

  “Whoa!” Mel exclaimed with his usual gusto. “Gidget, you look so much like a cat, it’s crazy!”

  “Yeah!” Gidget said, pleased. “Who knew? So easy!”

  Chloe held up her paw. “Hold on,” she said. “That’s not all. Now you gotta learn how to act like a cat.”

  “Okay,” Gidget agreed, nodding. Her cat ears slipped a little. She straightened them.

  Chloe paced back and forth like a drill sergeant in front of a line of soldiers. “I’m gonna throw some situations at you,” she said sternly. “Gidget, you react like a cat.”

  “Gotcha,” Gidget said confidently.

  Chloe batted a ball with her paw, sending it rolling across the floor. “FETCH!”

  “YES!” Mel cried.

  “I’m gonna get it!” Buddy exclaimed, skittering across the floor after the ball.

  Gidget was very excited, shifting from paw to paw, eager to chase after the ball. But Chloe stopped her from running. Gidget was practically bursting with anticipation. She could almost taste the ball in her mouth.

  “Gidget, stay,” Chloe commanded.

  “But—” She was dying to chase that ball.

  “No!” Chloe barked. “Cats don’t care about fetching. Fetching is for dopes!”

  Mel was happily sprinting after the ball, chasing under chairs and sofas.

  “You’re above that,” Chloe explained to Gidget. “You’re a cat.”

  “Right,” Gidget said, watching Mel and Buddy playing with the ball, and letting go of the urge to chase it. “I’m a cat.”

  Moments later, Gidget, Mel, and Buddy were lined up on a shelf. Chloe walked behind them and shoved Mel and Buddy off.

  “Aaaah!” Mel cried.

  “Why?” Buddy yelled.

  THUD! They both landed awkwardly on the floor below in a little heap.

  “See? Dogs land like the clumsy oafs they are,” Chloe explained. “Cats land on their feet.”

  “Really?” Gidget wondered. “How do they do—”

  Chloe shoved Gidget off the shelf.

  “AAAAH!” Gidget yelled, falling through the air. But somehow, she landed on her feet! “Yes!” she cheered. “I did it! I landed on my feet! Yes!”

  Mel and Buddy, still sprawled on the floor, wagged their tails in appreciation. “Nice work!” Buddy complimented Gidget.

  “Ow,” Mel said.

  Next, Chloe led Gidget, Buddy, and Mel to her litter box. Mel jumped in and started digging right away. Chloe gestured toward the litter box, inviting Gidget to use it. “You gotta. It’s a fact of life.”

  “Absolutely not,” Gidget responded. “Never gonna happen.”

  Mel looked up from his digging. “Guys! I found treats!”

  “Aww, Mel,” Buddy said sadly, shaking his head.

  For Gidget’s next cat lesson, Chloe placed her next to Sweetpea. “Okay, Gidget,” Chloe said. “Eat Sweetpea.”

  Gidget looked appalled. “What?”

  “Cats eat birds,” Chloe explained, shrugging. “It’s nature.”

  “Yeah, I’m gonna pass,” Gidget said.

  Chloe shook her head. “No, no, no, no. You used your one pass on the litter box, so you have to do this.”

  “But…”

  “But-but-but-but-but—DO IT!” Chloe ordered.

  Buddy leaned in close to Chloe. “You’re seriously gonna make Gidget eat Sweetpea?” he asked.

  Chloe turned to the dachshund and whispered, “Oh no, no, no. Of course not. I’m just freaking her out.”

  “Okay,” Gidget said with her mouth full. A single green feather floated out from between her lips. Her cheeks were full of Sweetpea. “What’s next?”

  “Gidget, NO!” Chloe said sharply. She couldn’t believe Gidget had actually eaten Sweetpea. “Bad dog! Bad cat-dog!”

  Gidget opened her mouth, and Sweetpea flew out unharmed. The little bird gave Gidget an angry peck.

  “Blaaaaaah,” Gidget said, spitting out feathers. “Sorry.” But Sweetpea was in no mood to hear the apology.

  Gidget’s final test was to bother a human working on a computer. In this case, the “human” was made out of pillows, sunglasses, and a hat. It was propped up at a desk as though it were using a laptop. Chloe sat nearby on a windowsill while Mel and Buddy watched.

  “Up!” Chloe commanded. Gidget jumped onto the desk with some difficulty—it was pretty high for a little Pomeranian pretending to be a cat.

  “And…tail in the face!” Chloe ordered. Gidget walked on the desk and stuck her tail right in the fake human’s face.

  “Okay, touch the butt to the coffee cup,” Chloe said. Gidget planted her butt right on the fake human’s coffee cup.

  “Walk on keyboard,” Chloe directed. Following directions perfectly, Gidget walked right across the laptop’s keyboard.

  “There you go!” Chloe said approvingly. “Coffee on computer!” Gidget kicked over the cup of coffee, spilling it right on the computer.

  “And down!” Chloe said. Gidget jumped down off the desk, her destructive work done.

  “Nice,” Buddy said.

  Even Chloe was excited for once. “Yes! You got it!” she cried. “Gidget, you’re as close to cat as a dog can get!”

  Gidget smiled and her eyes sparkled with determination:
she was ready to rescue Busy Bee.

  “Cool! Now turn me into a chinchilla!” Mel said.

  * * *

  Captain Snowball strutted down a dark New York City street, very proud of rescuing Hu from Sergei’s evil circus. Daisy walked beside him. “Oh yeah!” Snowball crowed. “First mission in the bag! It was easy. Too easy? Maybe. Maybe it was.”

  The tiger was springing from roofs and hoods of parked cars, having a great time.

  Snowball turned to a passing stray dog. “Hey, big fella! What’d I just do? Oh, I rescued a tiger! I’m not even trying to brag. I’m just telling you what happened. See, that’s the thing about being awesome. When you’re awesome and you just tell the truth, it sounds like you’re bragging. But you’re not! Not at all! You’re telling the AWESOME TRUTH ABOUT YOUR AWESOMENESS!”

  Daisy rolled her eyes. “Let me know when you finish tooting your horn, ’cause we gotta find a safe place for Hu.”

  Snowball was so caught up in playing superhero that he’d almost forgotten about the tiger for a second. “Uh, what?” he said. “What are you talking about?”

  Daisy pointed. Snowball saw Hu playfully swat the bumper off a car. “Oh yeah,” Snowball said. “Oh, that guy. Yeah.” He thought for a moment. “Oh! I got it! I know a guy whose owner is never home! Yeah, we can take Hu there!”

  “Sounds like a plan!” Daisy said, smiling.

  “Super bunny powers ACTIVATE!” Captain Snowball cried, running off.

  * * *

  Early the next morning, Snowball, Daisy, and Hu climbed a fire escape to a window in the apartment where Pops lived. Pops was an old basset hound. His back legs didn’t work anymore, so he used a cloth sling connected to two wheels as a cart to get around. But that didn’t stop him from going all over New York City if he had a good reason to.

  The bunny, the dog, and the tiger paused outside the window. “Wait out here,” Snowball told Hu. Then he turned to Daisy and said, “Now, you let me do all the talking.” He put a big friendly smile on his face and headed inside.