The Easter Gang & Sinister Mister Fimister

by Rachael Long

  Holly and Ryan shrugged. Perhaps she’s back on the fags, they suggested.

  Moggy shook his head and watched as Edna bobbed up and down and back and forth behind the serving hatch of the scout hut’s kitchen.

  “She’s got a white carrot in her mouth!” he suddenly exclaimed.

  Holly laughed, “I think that is probably a parsnip and I’m sure I saw her with a leek in her mouth yesterday!”

  “Is that what it was?” said Ryan, “We drove past her on our way to the shops yesterday tea time and she was waiting at the bus stop and had this green and white thing hanging out of her mouth. ”

  At that moment Edna emerged from the kitchen and made her way, with a tray of drinks and biscuits, to Holly, Ryan and Moggy’s table.

  “Compliments of the management…well, me actually. Wouldn’t go so far as to say I actually manage this place. least-ways, not properly!” She smiled without moving her face and added, “I went to a botox party last night – takes years off you. Looked in the mirror this morning and didn’t recognise the person looking back!” Then leaning closer she whispered, “If you drink these quick, I might be able to slip you’s another free round.” She winked but nothing happened so she blinked both eyes before turning and heading back to the kitchen.

  “Botox!” mouthed Holly exaggeratedly. “Looks like her face has completely frozen!”

  Moggy stared at the kitchen serving hatch, “she’s on the phone now…bit odd don’t you think, giving us free hot chocolate?”

  “Maybe the botox has sent her a bit wacko,” suggested Ryan. He would have said more but he noticed PC Grearson had just walked into the hut and seemed to be heading their way.

  PC Grearson was the village policeman and although he lived in the village, he served the wider community too. Tall and thin, he had a haircut that looked to be the reverse of a monk’s. Instead of a circular bald patch surrounded by hair, PC Grearson had a patch of hair surrounded by…hairless skin. Today, however, his police hat remained on his head, hiding his tuft of hair. He stopped at Holly, Ryan and Moggy’s table. Ryan was aware of Edna leaning out over the kitchen counter, a smile trying to express itself across her botox-frozen face.

  PC Grearson gave a little cough, “Holly Caine, Ryan Hubbard and Neil Millar you need to come with me. I would advise you not to say anything you might later regret.” He stepped to one side as Holly, Ryan and Moggy shakily stood up then followed him out of the scout hut and across the road to his house.

  The front room of PC Grearson’s house doubled as the village police station, albeit a small one. There was no counter or glass screen, just a large, old kitchen table in the middle of the room with some chairs. Against the length of the right wall, a row of filing cabinets. A writing desk and leather-covered swivel chair filled up the end wall and the wall to the left was almost completely filled by a bay window that looked out onto Church Road.

  PC Grearson motioned for Holly, Ryan and Moggy to stand along the window side of the table. He took his hat off and placed it on top of a filing cabinet then turned to face the three friends.

  “You are no doubt wondering why you are here?”

  The three looked at each other then back at PC Grearson and nodded silently.

  PC Grearson picked up a thin beige coloured folder from his writing desk. He briefly looked inside then placed the closed folder on the kitchen table.

  “Well, what have the three of you been up to?” he asked, sitting down at the table, opening the beige folder again and glancing at it before looking back up at Holly, Ryan and Moggy. He fixed each in turn with a firm, questioning look. The three friends shifted uneasily on their feet.

  “Erm…nothing?” suggested Ryan sounding not entirely sure of himself. He looked at Moggy and Holly for support. They both shook their heads and repeated Ryan’s ‘nothing’.

  PC Grearson motioned for Holly, Ryan and Moggy to sit down on the padded bench that curved around the bay window behind them. He tapped his finger on the beige folder. “According to what is in here,” he flicked the file open then closed, “trespassing, harassment and vandalism...” He paused, waiting for a response.

  “Vandalism?” Holly looked at Ryan and Moggy. They all shrugged.

  PC Grearson explained he had received some complaints; sadly he was unable to say from whom… But, Edna Preece had also expressed her concerns…”

  Thanks Edna, Ryan mumbled to himself then out loud, to PC Grearson, “what is it we’re meant to have done?”

  PC Grearson gave a little cough; “well, lets see…climbing the tree in Gallows Tree Lane to carve your name on the branch that hangs out above the road. Presumably, Neil, that is how you came to fall and break your arm and leg, rather than being knocked down by the mystery, erm, vehicle?

  “Trespassing…the old Phiskers Farm next to Hector’s cowshed and the building site for the school’s new swimming pool. You were seen hanging around this second one after the builders had left the site. And the harassment is, erm,” he glanced at a piece of paper in the file, “just a general thing, nothing entirely specific.”

  Holly, Ryan and Moggy shook their heads. All lies they said. Well that’s as may be replied PC Grearson but he had to act on any complaints he received. Standing up, he was about to continue when the mobile phone on his belt rang. He answered then held up a finger and mouthed to Holly, Ryan and Moggy to wait. He then left the room.

  “Stitched up,” said Ryan shaking his head.

  Moggy nodded, “Edna has concerns! Pah!” He scratched his plaster-cast arm. “Really untriffingly untriffic!”

  “We should tell him about the quad bike,” said Holly standing up and walking to the doorway; PC Grearson was at the far end of the hallway with his back to her. She turned to face Ryan and Moggy. “I bet this is all to do with that Freedom of Information thing.” She walked back to the padded bench and looked out the window; “my dad had a reply. It said ‘thank you for your request. We will send you a full answer within the next 30 days’.”

  “I guess they’re hoping he’ll have forgotten all about it by then.” Ryan stood up and looked over at the folder PC Grearson had left on the table. “Moggs,” he said slowly, “can I borrow your e-tab for a mo?”

  Moggy fished his e-tab out from his fleece and passed it to Ryan. “If you swipe to the third page, there are some quite good mini games I’ve downloaded.”

  Ryan nodded. He didn’t want the games, just the camera.

  “Holly, can you keep look out at the door?” Ryan asked, opening the e-tabs smart cover and selecting the camera icon.

  Holly shrugged and stepped into the doorway, PC Grearson was still on his phone, still in deep conversation.

  Ryan stepped over to the table, opened the folder and began to photograph the contents. Holly watched PC Grearson then waved at Ryan; “looks like he’s finishing his call,” she whispered then moved back toward the window seat.

  Ryan flipped the e-tabs smart cover closed and stepped away from the desk just as Holly said, “Moggy, Ryan take a look at this.” She was looking out the window. “Looks like Edna’s got herself a man.”

  Ryan put down the e-tab and joined Moggy and Holly at the window; ”well, well, well,” he said, “whoever it is, she’s stroking his arm…if we tap on the window perhaps he’ll turn round and show his face.”

  Holly stepped back from the window. “I think it looks like that Vic bloke who was in the post office. You know, Ryan, the one you called…”

  Ryan laughed, “yeah, Aylid’s new dad!” He looked out the window again. “Yeah, could be the same person. Hard to be certain from the back.” He smirked, “who’s goin’ to tell Anna Smarna she’s being two-timed?”

  “Something exciting outside?” PC Grearson was back in the room. Holly, Ryan and Moggy sank back down on the padded bench and faced him. Ryan jabbed Moggy quite firmly in the ribs once then twice and reinforced the jab with a grunt.

  Moggy looked at Ryan puzzled then noticed Holly was mouthing, ‘do it
’ at him and tutting. Moggy raised his hand.

  “Yes Neil, you have something to say?”

  Moggy put down his hand and tried to explain in a jerky, nervous voice that PC Grearson was wrong; wrong about falling out of the tree and wrong about everything else. “And,” Moggy continued, “we saw the quad bike that did this to me,” he gave his plaster-cast-covered arm and leg a little wave, “it was coming out the school car park yesterday.”

  PC Grearson nodded. “If I remember correctly, at the time of your accident you thought you had been knocked down by a speeding mobility scooter or a lawn mower. A motorised, sit-on type...” He looked at Moggy and raised his eyebrows, perhaps suggesting, again, that he really had fallen out of the tree. Moggy said nothing. PC Grearson continued, “well, I can see how you may have confused a quad bike with a sit-on mower. Did you manage to get the registration number?”

  Ryan shook his head and answered for Moggy. “I chased after it but the back was quite muddy…I couldn’t see any number. It drove off quite fast down Church Road, going Dunderestone village way.”

  PC Grearson nodded and took some notes then looked up. “Well, I will look into it. That is all I can say. He leaned back in his chair, pressed his hands together and rested his chin on his thumbs, his fingers touching the tip of his nose. For a moment it looked like he was praying.

  “Tell me,” he said, leaning forward, “have you come across anything unusual or found anything…recently?” The three friends shook their heads. PC Grearson nodded then tapped the folder, “this will not go any further. But only on the condition the three of you stay away from the Gallows Tree, Phiskers Farm, Hector’s cowshed and the school building site. Right?” He looked quite serious. Holly, Ryan and Moggy each muttered a barely audible ‘yes’ and nodded. PC Grearson, seemingly satisfied, waved his hand for them to leave.

  Outside, Holly, Ryan and Moggy glanced over at Edna who was still standing across the road, taking it all in. The man whose arm she had been stroking was nowhere to be seen. The three friends headed off to the park.

  ~~~~~

  The park, unusually for a mid morning, was quite busy. Although this feeling seemed solely related to the amount of noise being generated by the village pre-school playgroup, or was it the Kiddies Klub? The group of under-five’s had taken over the top half of the park; simultaneously occupying, as if one multi-headed, multi-limbed organism, the slides, swings, see-saw, climbing frame and round-a-bout.

  Holly, Ryan and Moggy made their way to the far end of the park and sat at one of the picnic benches that were scattered around – as far away from the pre-school group as they could get.

  “Do you believe any of that?” Ryan looked at Holly and Moggy.

  Holly shrugged and gathered her hair into a ponytail, realised she didn’t have a scrunchie with her and let it fall over her shoulders. Moggy stared at the top end of the park at the pre-school group. “Them, do you mean?” he said to Ryan.

  Ryan gave him a playful push; “PC Grearson, you berk! Turn over to the right channel!”

  Moggy shrugged, “it all seems like a set-up. All a bit…I dunno, what’s the word for it, Holly.”

  “Could be any word knowing you Moggs,” she thought for a moment, “yeah, all a bit fishy…very untriff!”

  Ryan shook his head, “something is going on and we are being set up; stay away from here, there and everywhere! Lets have a look at those pictures I took of the file,” he said, curious to read just what had been said about them.

  Moggy felt his fleece and groaned. “Ryan! You didn’t give it back to me! You must have left it on the table. If PC Fit-Up looks at it, we’ll be in even more trouble!”

  “Hate to give out bad news,” Holly nodded across the park, “but here he comes now…”

  PC Grearson strode purposefully up to the three worried looking friends. He smiled and held out Moggy’s e-tab. “I think you left this behind. Luckily Edna saw you heading this way.” Moggy took the e-tab and muttered thanks. PC Grearson smiled and turned to leave but paused, “you should be quite safe here in the park.” He smiled again and strode off.

  Moggy slowly breathed out, watching PC Grearson walk away and out of earshot. Close, too triffingly close for comfort he sighed.

  Ryan took the e-tab and tapped the photo icon, “nothing here,” he said. “I bet he found them and deleted them.”

  Moggy took the e-tab back and after a moment looked up; “you recorded video not still photos and it is still recording! Here we are.” He touched ‘stop’ and set the e-tab down on the table then touched ‘play’. Ryan’s dirty-finger-nailed hand appeared in high definition on the e-tab screen followed by a beige blur that was Ryan opening the folder.

  “It is a bit shaky, Ryan,” said Holly just as the image focussed and sharpened. Ryan nudged her and commented, “see!”

  The focussed and sharpened image was of a page-sized, printed map of Trove village and the surrounding countryside with long, thin pizza slice shapes drawn on it. The sharp end of the slices spread out from Phiskers Farm. The image blurred as Ryan’s hand reappeared on the screen and moved the map away. The next piece of paper was a handwritten note with Holly, Ryan and Moggy’s names and addresses on. After that were two pieces of paper that were PC Grearson’s water bill! Ryan’s hand reappeared on the screen closing the folder.

  “Is that it?” Moggy asked, feeling a little underwhelmed.

  Ryan nodded, “Mmm…not much in it at all. Seems our village policeman was winding us up.”

  “What for?” Moggy asked no one in particular and moved his hand over the screen to stop the playback.

  “No, wait,” said Holly. “Lets see what else got recorded.”

  Moggy slid up the volume control and listened with Ryan and Holly to muffled sounds. He shook his head, “it’s only the sound of Ryan closing the e-tabs cover and putting it down on the table.” Moggy’s hand hovered over the stop icon again.

  “Move it on a bit, Moggs,” suggested Ryan. Moggy moved his finger along the slider bar, advancing the recording, first one minute then two, then to 5 minutes. “Nah, nothing…only the sound of PC Wind-Up creaking in his chair…”

  “And farting!” added Ryan. “That definitely sounded like he let one off!”

  “Shih!” Exclaimed Holly, “turn it up more, Moggy. I think I heard a voice.”

  At just below maximum volume, two voices could be heard; one was PC Grearson and the other…

  “Edna!” said Ryan firmly. “It’s Edna…she wasn’t just doing her carrot smoking and feeling up Anna Smarna’s boyfriend; I bet she was waiting to find out what PC Wind-Up said to us.”

  Holly held up her hand and told Ryan to be quiet and listen…

  Edna’s voice could be heard, asking PC Grearson if he had found anything out…

  “They say they know nothing and I’m guessing they are probably telling the truth. Did you see which way they went? Neil Millar left his tablet, laptop thing behind.”

  Edna said something inaudible then, “…off to the park…sure they know nothing?”

  “C’mon Edna; three 10 or 11 year olds find that sort of stuff and manage to keep quiet?”

  Edna, again inaudible, then becoming clearer, “I suppose those three would find it hard to keep anything quiet. Anyhow, Vic says it has to be the other tree. I think we should go for broke and chainsaw it.”

  “You and your boyfriend aren’t exactly very subtle, are you? I mean, look what he did to the Millar boy…suppose he’d killed him?”

  “Vic, as you well know is my brother, half brother not my boyfriend. And he only wanted to scare the lad…”

  “Boyfriend, brother,” it was PC Grearson’s voice again, “do you have any idea how hard it was and is, to try and cover up that hit and run? Luckily for Vic the lad was concussed and thought a sit-on lawn mower had hit him! Although he is now starting to remember more.”

  “Best that we follow Vic’s plan and make our move soonest.”

  “Very well…meet
at the usual place?”

  “Yeah, scout hut. Seven-thirty, sharp. I’ll make you a hot chocolate to sweeten up your mood.”

  There was no reply only a muffled silence then the sound of the e-tab being picked up. Then a door closing, footsteps, a car engine, bicycle bell…

  “That’s it,” said Moggy, touching stop. He looked at Ryan and Holly.

  “It sounds like this Vic bloke is the same person who was having his arm rubbed by Edna and also Anna Smarna’s new boyfriend!” Holly let out a long breath,

  “And,” added Ryan, “the same bloke who knocked you over, Moggy.”

  Moggy nodded. “Trouble is, though, because we recorded this kind of, secretly, I don’t think we can take it to anyone as proof.”

  Ryan agreed, “It goes back to having real, concrete evidence. Besides, I don’t think any of them sound like nice people…”

  “What was that bit about him only wanting to scare you? I mean, why and what are they up to? And what would we not be able to keep quiet about?” Holly paused before adding, “and, more than anything else, just what have we got ourselves into?” She shook her head and bit her lip.