Bear My Soul

by T. S. Joyce

  With a deep, steadying sigh, she smoothed the wrinkles from the tight denim material that stretched over her thighs, then pulled on a pair of strappy sandals. She’d even painted her toenails fire engine red this morning.

  “He’s here!” Aaron called from the front of the house where he’d been perched on the couch in front of the picture window for the past half hour, staring out and waiting for Cody. Aunt Leona was up with the sunrise at a meeting of the Blue-Haired Ladies, so her little man had taken it upon himself to stand watch.

  A tiny squeal squeaked past her lips as she tried to expel the nerves. Rushing, she grabbed Aaron’s little backpack and a bottled strawberry shake, then opened the door for her bouncing son.

  His little legs moved double-time as he pounded the pavement toward Cody. The look of surprise on Cody’s face came and went as he reached down and plucked the little boy off the ground. Settling him on his hip, Cody grinned and greeted Aaron. Oh dayum, Cody looked good—backward hat wearing, gray fire department T-shirt clad, wide-shouldered, taper-waisted, muscle-bound, sexy behemoth. She could see the outline of his pecs behind the thin material of his shirt. And when her ovaries were done exploding like Fourth of July fireworks, she guffawed at the jacked up black monster truck behind him with the blackout rims and side rails. Of course, he drove a giant ride. His long, powerful legs wouldn’t even fold enough to fit him in her hatchback. And now she was staring at his bicep as it flexed around the back of Aaron’s legs, exposing a tendril of tattoo ink along the sleeve of his shirt.

  Friends, friends, friends.

  “Hey,” he greeted her, approaching with long strides. His eyes looked exhausted, but his smile was warm and genuine, and there were those dimples that matched Aaron’s. Leaning down, he kissed her on the cheek in the sexiest hello she’d ever been a part of. She wanted to latch onto his leg like a barnacle but held her ground and received the cheek peck with dignity. Or she thought she did until one of her knees locked and she stumbled backward.

  His strong hand wrapped around her arm, encircling it completely, and he pulled her upright before she put her tailbone through her throat on the front porch. Bless that man and his many muscles.

  “You okay?” he asked, his brows drawing down in concern.

  “Fantastic. I’m fine. Great. But maybe you shouldn’t kiss me anymore. On the cheek, I mean. It makes my legs not work. Shit.” She covered her mouth and squeaked. “I mean ship. I said ship.”

  His look of worry had morphed to amusement as Cody witnessed her fast descent into mortification.

  “Mommy says ship a lot,” Aaron explained. “It’s her favorite word.”

  “Yes, thank you,” she whispered in horror. “This is going way better than I imagined.”

  Cody was laughing now as he hooked his arm around her neck. “You don’t have to be nervous. They’ll love you.”

  He smelled divine. Not too strong, like cologne, but a subtle, crisp scent. Maybe his deodorant?

  “Are you smelling my armpit?”

  “No,” she scoffed. “Absolutely not.”

  “I can hear a lie,” he said, his grin growing by the second. “All bear shifters can.”

  Oh, great. “I’m probably not, but if I was sniffing you, I’d say you smell nice.”

  The oaf’s chest was shaking now with laughter as he led her toward the truck, still holding Aaron. “You’re funny.”

  No, she was horrified. She hadn’t gone to pieces over a man like this since…well, ever. She felt like a teenager mooning over her first crush. Which was stupid, because she was twenty-five years of poise and maturity. Not this bumbling, pit-sniffing motor-mouth.

  “What’s that?” Cody asked, nodding toward the shake in her hand.

  “A protein shake for Aaron. He has to drink them twice a day, per doctor’s request.”

  “A protein shake?” he asked Aaron, who nodded with wide, somber eyes.

  “I have to grow big and strong.”

  “You are big and strong, baby,” Rory said. “The doctor just wants to get some weight on you. He’s in the bottom percentile for his age.”

  “That’s normal,” Cody said.

  “It is?”

  “Yeah. By the time he hits age seven, you’ll be laughing at the fact that you used to give him protein. He and his bear will hit the first big growth spurt around then.”

  “Cody,” Aaron whispered. “Mommy says we aren’t supposed to talk about bears.”

  Cody frowned and let his arm slip from Rory’s shoulders. He came to a stop beside the truck. “Well, that’s your mom’s call, but around me, you can talk about them, you know why?”

  “Why?” Aaron asked as quiet as a breath.

  Cody’s lips turned up in a heart-stopping smile, and he lowered his voice to match his boy’s. “Because I have a bear in me, too. A big one.”

  Aaron sat ramrod straight in the cradle of Cody’s arm, blue eyes bigger than Rory had ever seen them. “Really? Can I see him?”

  “Soon. Your mom is right, though. You shouldn’t talk about your bear, not without me or her around, okay?”

  “I won’t.”

  “Good man.” Cody opened the back door of his truck and hefted Aaron into a car seat.

  “When did you get that?” Rory asked.

  “Uhh, I help do car seat safety courses up at the community center, and I went out on my lunch break yesterday and got one of the seats I recommend in the class.” He buckled Aaron in like he’d done it a hundred times, and Rory melted a little more. The man was demolishing the walls she’d erected around her heart.

  “Is that part of the fireman gig?”

  “You’re a fireman?” Aaron asked.

  “I am, and someday I’m going to give you a tour of my station.”

  Aaron clapped his little hands together and yelled excitedly as Cody shut the door. “And yeah, it’s part of the gig. We go to schools and teach about fire safety and let the kids climb up on the engine. We get to do a lot in the community. It’s part of what attracted me to the job.” He led her around the back of the truck and opened her door, then helped her up.

  When he was settled behind the wheel, she asked, “What is the other part that attracted you to it?”

  “My family. I come from a long line of firefighters. We, meaning shifters, tend to clump together in close-knit groups and pick an occupation. Some of us work in construction or oil rigs. It’s usually something physically demanding because the animal side to us requires that to feel steady. I even know a crew of lumberjack bears up in Montana. My family, though, we are fire bears. Have been for generations. My brothers work at the same station as me.”

  “Brothers, plural? How many of you are there?” She was getting nervous all over again at meeting his family.

  “Three brothers. Gage is the oldest, I’m next, then Boone and Dade. Gage is mated to a shifter named Leah, and they have two cubs right around Aaron’s age. Twins, a boy and a girl, Tate and Arie.”

  “Do they have bears, too?” Aaron asked from the back seat.

  “They sure do, but remember the rule?”

  “Don’t talk about bears without you or Mommy.”

  “Good.” Cody nodded in approval and smiled into the rearview as he pulled away from Aunt Leona’s house.

  The truck rumbled loudly as they coasted down Harris Street.

  “What are your parents’ names?” Rory asked. Perhaps she should be writing this all down so she could remember everyone.

  “Ma will just want you to call her Ma. It’s her thing. Dad passed when I was young.”

  “Oh. I’m so sorry.” She pulled her gaze straight ahead and fidgeted with the hem of her shirt. “My dad did too, when I was little, so I know how that is.”

  Cody glanced at her, his eyes sparking with surprise. “I’m sorry too then.”

  Rory shrugged away her discomfort with the subject and wiped condensation off the bottled shake. “You don’t think he needs these?”

  “Nah, he’ll grow just
fine. We’re slow starters is all. If it makes you feel better to give them to him, though, do it. Protein won’t hurt him or his animal.”

  “I don’t like the way they taste. It’s yucky,” Aaron piped up from the back.

  “It’s so weird talking about his bear so openly. It’ll take some getting used to. I’ve always been paranoid of someone finding out, so we just don’t talk about it except around his Changes. He has lots of questions, and most of them I don’t have the answers to.”

  Cody reached over and squeezed her hand, then released it and gripped the steering wheel. “You did good, Rory. You went five years raising a grizzly shifter and didn’t get caught. That’s a feat in itself. I have the answers for him, but it’ll be up to you when you’re ready for him to start learning about what he is.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, that alone time you ruled out? I need that to teach him to control his Changes. If you’re around, it’ll distract him, and his bear will be a little hellion. Part of growing up a shifter is teaching the animal part of him manners.”

  “Like disciplining him?” she asked. That didn’t sound right. He was just a kid who didn’t have his mind when he turned into a bear cub.

  “Yeah, but not in the human sense. It’s not spankings or time-out, Rory. It’s posturing and dominance and growling and figuring out where he belongs in the pecking order. It’s him seeing adult grizzlies behaving themselves and learning what he is and isn’t supposed to do out in the woods and around humans.”

  “Oh.” Her voice came out small and fragile. “And he can’t learn this with me around?” She didn’t mean to sound hurt, but she felt left out of a big part of Aaron’s life now. If she was like him, a bear shifter, she could help teach him manners. But because she was human, she was supposed to just trust her baby around full-grown grizzlies?

  Cody glanced over at her, deep sympathy in the depths of his gaze. “Not on this one. If he’s already clawing you when he shifts, he’ll need work. You will need to come into this eventually, but not right in the beginning. Hey,” he murmured, grabbing her hand again. “If it’s too soon, it’s too soon. I’m not pushing you, or Aaron. If you need more time to get comfortable with all of this, we’ll keep doing it your way.”

  Her way involved a cage and heartbreak. “No, I think I’ve accepted my way doesn’t work. That’s why I’m here. Can we wait a few days, though, until I’m more comfortable with everything?”

  “Of course. Whatever you need.”

  His hand was warm against hers, and boldly she turned her palm over and intertwined her fingers with his. He shot her a surprised glance but didn’t pull away. If friends weren’t supposed to hold hands, she didn’t care right now. Cody’s touch felt too good to let go just yet.

  Her breath shook as she exhaled her nerves slowly and stared out the window at the passing houses. Aaron had never had an extended family before this, and she was walking into a crew of bear shifters and hoping they would accept her for Aaron’s sake.

  As Cody parked the truck in the lot behind the donut shop, Rory pulled down the mirror and fretted over her hair, which had decided to curl up like a fiery lion’s mane.

  “You look beautiful,” Cody said, watching her with an unreadable expression.

  “What?” she asked softly, sure she’d heard him wrong.

  “You look just like I remember.” Cody dropped his gaze to the steering column and apologized. “Sorry. That’s out of line.”

  “The friend zone is weird,” she said, scrunching up her nose.

  “So weird. We kind of did everything backward, didn’t we?”

  Rory laughed and nodded. “We really did. You look like I remember, too,” she admitted quietly. “Better even.”

  “Flatterer. Come on before you bloat my ego and I can’t fit my head through the door.”

  “Fine. Your muscles are puny, and your towering height and tattoos are wholly unattractive.”

  “Better,” he said with a grin. “Wait there, and I’ll get your door.”

  Inside, a short hallway led to a restaurant that was much smaller than she expected. Or maybe that was because half of the eatery seemed to be taken up by giants. A woman with long, straight, silver hair pulled back in a low ponytail approached first. Her blue eyes, so like Cody and Aaron’s, were twinkling with ready moisture.

  The woman wrapped Rory up in a hug and whispered, “I always hoped you’d come back.”

  Rory eased away, baffled. She was a stranger and had done practically nothing to earn this warm affection. “What do you mean?”

  Cody squeezed her shoulder and picked Aaron up, then began introducing him to the rest of the people who waited at the bottleneck in the hallway.

  The woman lifted a strand of Rory’s curled, ruddy hair and studied her with an emotional smile. “You saved Cody from his bond with Sarah. Really, you spared all of us. It’s a rare thing to break a bond, and you did it in one night with my son. Do you know he looked for you?”

  Rory’s heart felt too big for her chest, and her throat was closing by the second. Her own mother had never been so open and candid, had never strung so many nice thoughts about her in a row like this. “He mentioned he looked for me.”

  “He searched hard, dear. He was desperate to thank you somehow. We’re all so happy you’ve decided to come back.”

  Rory’s heart dropped to the floor. She hadn’t come back from the good of her heart. She’d come back desperate to help Aaron, not for Cody’s benefit at all. “I should’ve come sooner. I’m sorry, Mrs. Keller.”

  “Oh, honey,” Mrs. Keller said, shaking her head and wiping her eyes with the backs of her hands. “You had your reasons for staying away. You were trying to protect your cub. I have four boys of my own and imagine I would’ve done the same thing if I was afraid their father would put them at risk.” She glanced over her shoulder and smiled at Aaron, who was giving a tall man with shoulder length hair and tattoos up his arms a high five. “You raised a strong little cub and kept him safe without the protection of a crew. You’re a right proper momma bear. And no more of this Mrs. Keller crap. Call me Ma.”

  Unable to hold back the tears at Mrs. Keller’s offered and undeserved forgiveness, Rory hugged her tight again as another weight lifted off her shoulders. At this rate, she was going to feel free as a bird by week’s end.

  “Now let me get my arms around my grandson,” Ma said, reaching for him.

  Aaron gave Rory an uncertain look, but she nodded in encouragement. “This is your grandma.”

  He reached for her slowly.

  Ma plucked him from Cody’s grip and swayed gently as she said, “Do you know, you look just like your daddy did at your age?”

  “I do?” Aaron asked in that little squeaky voice of his.

  “Exactly like,” she said, lifting her shoulders so he settled better on her hip.

  “Cody, did you hear?” Aaron called over the murmur of the crowd.

  “I did, boy, and it’s true. I’ll show you pictures when we visit grandma’s house. You,” he murmured to Rory. “You come here. I have some people I want you to meet.”

  Rory beamed and stepped around Ma. Nervously, she waved to the three men gathered around Cody.

  “Rory, this is Gage.” He gestured to a man with dark eyes and darker blond hair that brushed his ears. He nodded a greeting and offered her a friendly smile.

  “Boone.” Cody clapped the man with the longer blond hair and sleeves of tattoos down his arms. “And this is the baby of the family, Dade.” That baby of the family was the tallest one of them all, towering even over Cody.

  Rory arched her neck back and whispered, “Holy mayo,” as she shook his hand.

  Dade laughed and surprised her by pulling her into a rough hug. Boone followed suit, and when she was thoroughly embraced and her spine nice and cracked, Gage pointed to a woman sitting at a table holding a sleeping girl around Aaron’s age. The woman had dark hair and eyes and a pixie-like turned-up nose over f
ull, smiling lips. Her eyes danced as she waved.

  “This is my mate…I mean wife, Leah. My daughter, Arie. My boy, Tate, is over there trying desperately to get grandma to let your boy down so he can play with him.”

  Indeed, there was a little dishwater-blond boy jumping up and down, holding onto Ma’s shirt with one hand and pleading to play. Aaron was grinning down at him, and they were holding hands.

  “Sit by me,” Leah offered, patting the long bench seat beside her.

  “Okay,” Rory said shyly, then scooted all the way through to where Leah sat against the wall. “She’s beautiful.” She settled beside the woman.

  Leah stared down at the girl, blond pigtails piled high and a sleepy smile on her face. “Don’t let her fool you. She’s a little monster in the mornings. It was easier to just let her fall back to sleep in here.”

  Rory giggled and said, “Aaron is a morning person.”

  “Like his daddy.”

  “Yeah, I’m coming to realize he’s a lot like Cody.”

  Leah looked lovingly at her brother-in-law and then to Aaron. “It looks like the Keller curse has struck you, too.”

  “What do you mean?” Rory asked.

  Leah lifted a lock of her hair, almost as dark as a raven’s feather, and set it beside Arie’s fair tresses. “The genetics are strong with those Keller boys.”

  “Yeah, annoying right?” she joked. “Aaron got freckles. That’s my only claim. I carried him for nine months, sick as a dog the entire time, and he came out looking nothing like me and every bit like a little baby Viking.”

  Leah snorted a laugh and nodded. “Finally, someone who gets my pain.”

  “Hey, I’m going to order food,” Cody said, leaning on the table until his annoyingly sexy triceps flexed. “What do you want?”

  “Uhh…” She squinted at the chalkboard menu at the front but it was too blurry to read from this far. “Just get me whatever you’re having. I’m not picky. Oh, Aaron will want—”

  “A chocolate-covered donut? He’s put in his order six times already.” Cody winked and sauntered off toward the line with his brothers.

  Now, some men looked weird when they winked, but not Cody Keller. Instead, he looked even sexier, oozing all that confidence. It was almost unfair.