Bear My Soul

by T. S. Joyce

  A delicious shiver trembled up her spine and landed in her shoulders. “Cody,” she murmured out a warning, “you can’t be saying things like that to me when we’re about to go have a coherent conversation with your family.”

  He slid his arm over her shoulders and dragged her toward the Breck Crew. Pulling her in close, he whispered against her ear, “I like when your eyes get all drunk-looking when I talk to you.”

  “Yeah, well I like it when you sport public boners, so we’re even.” She arched her eyebrows at the bulge in his pants.

  “I’m not ashamed,” he whispered, then patted her butt and moved off to a table of covered food.

  Rory stood there watching him as her body heated from the inside out like a volcano. Cody’s jeans encased his powerful stride just right, and the shirt he wore clung to his thick shoulders. His torso tapered into a V-shaped waist. He stood tall and strong as he sauntered away, as if he knew his exact place at the top of the food chain around here—the sexy beast of a man.

  “Hey,” Ma said, squeezing her neck. “Look here. I stayed up late last night trying to find this for you.” She pulled a photo album off an empty chair and handed it to Rory.

  Rory took the seat in between Ma and Leah and opened the album to the first crackling page.

  “Oh my gosh, Ma!” Leah squealed. She adjusted the strap of her red and white striped one-piece swimsuit and scooted closer. Tucking her dark, wavy tresses behind her ear, Leah giggled at the picture of four little boys in too-short shorts and matching shirts. Each of the brothers held little yellow fishing poles and donned matching gap-toothed grins. The Keller men were a couple years apart in age, but here, besides a little height difference, they could’ve been multiples.

  Rory ran her finger across the wild grass at the bottom of the picture and grinned from ear to ear.

  “You know which one’s Cody?” Ma asked.

  Rory pointed immediately.

  Ma nodded with an impressed laugh. “How did you know?”

  “Because he looks like the spitting image of Aaron.” She looked up to see Cody watching her with the softest look in his eyes.

  Rory gave him a shy, two-fingered wave, and he pulled a beer from a red cooler and canted his head in question.

  “Get her one of those sweet ones I brought,” Leah called out to him. “They’re delicious. Taste just like strawberry lemonade, but get you a buzz.”

  “Oh, I shouldn’t have anything to drink,” Rory said, shaking her head. “I have Aaron…”

  “Doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the day, honey,” Ma said. “He’s fine. Look at him, and we’ll all help watch those kiddos and keep them out of trouble. You don’t have to overdo it, but Rory, it’s okay to allow yourself to relax and have fun.”

  It felt good to have Ma say that. Since she was a single mom, Rory had been hard on herself about being the perfect parent. But the reality was that she’d skipped her partying years. Did she regret it? Hell no. Aaron had kept her out of trouble. But she was twenty-five and had barely drank since that night with Cody because she’d been so scared that someone would look at her as inadequate. As if she had to make up for the one-night stand by being a robot.

  Cody popped the top of a red drink and wiped the condensation on his shirt before he handed it to her. Leaning over her chair, gripping the plastic arm rests, he lowered his lips to her ear and whispered, “I won’t drink. I’ll watch our boy. Enjoy yourself.” With a lingering kiss on her temple, he eased away and hopped up the porch stairs toward the grill Gage was manning.

  Ma and Leah wore matching expressions of shock.

  “Are you guys dating?” Ma asked.

  “Or mating?” Leah asked, crossing her ankles on the grassy yard beneath them.

  “Mating?” Rory asked, cheeks heating.

  “Are you Cody’s mate?” Leah leaned closer. “Dear Lord, please say yes. I can’t stand Shayna.”

  “Leah,” Ma admonished.

  “Admit it, Ma, she’s rough to deal with. Too demanding and prissy.”

  Ma snorted and took a long pull of her fruit-flavored beer instead of answering. Finally, Ma asked, “Well, are you?”

  “We’re bonded,” Rory admitted, dropping her gaze to the drink in her hands. “Does that make me his mate?”

  Rory gasped when Leah pulled her into a lung-deflating hug, and Ma laughed a high pitched sound as she threw her arms around the both of them.

  “Cody!” Ma yelled. “You mated, boy?”

  Boone jerked his attention from where he was slathering sunscreen on Tate’s arms. He stood with a big goofy grin on his face. “Aw, say it ain’t so, Cody. You whooped?”

  “Dammit,” Cody murmured, but his grin was infectious as he escaped Gage’s grip on his shoulder. “Well, I wanted to announce it after lunch. Come here, woman.” He jerked his chin.

  “Aaron,” Rory called.

  “Yeah, mommy?” the little boy asked from behind Arie.

  “Come here. Cody has something to tell you.”

  Aaron pumped his little legs and bounded up the porch steps in front of her. Cody threw him up in the air, and then pulled him close as his son giggled and squirmed. Hooking an arm over Rory’s shoulder, he kissed the top of her hair as the Breck Crew gathered around, beers in hand as if they knew a toast was coming.

  “Six years ago, I met this woman in a bar.”

  “So romantic,” Boone called out.

  “Shut it,” Cody said with a laugh. “So six years ago, I was in a bad spot, you all remember. I saw this fiery, sassy redhead in a bar and thought, now that woman is one beautiful distraction.”

  Dade whistled a catcall and Rory giggled.

  “When she left the next morning, I was wrecked, and I couldn’t figure out why. A few days ago, that same redhead came back into my life, stormed it really, and brought me the best gift I’ve ever got.” Cody’s voice thickened as he dropped his eyes to Aaron, who was now clinging to his neck. “And I thought, man, life doesn’t get better than this.” Cody pressed his lips into Rory’s hair again, as if he was trying to give himself a moment to compose himself. “But it did,” he rasped out. “Because little did I know, that beautiful distraction I met in a bar all those years ago was going to turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to me. I’d met my mate. I just didn’t know it at the time.”

  Rory smiled through twin tears that streamed down her face and snuggled against Cody’s side, safe and warm next to her boys.

  “Breck Crew,” Boone called out. “Lift your drinks because today our family grew by two. Your alpha is bonded!”

  Whistles and cheering filled the clearing. Bottles clinked, and the crew stormed the porch to embrace them.

  Rory’s heart was so full, tears of joy wet her face. Leah and Ma were crying, too, when they hugged her, and she melted against them. It felt so damned good to be accepted—to be enough for this family she respected so much.

  “What did you have to tell me?” Aaron asked with a confused frown scrunching up his little freckle-laden nose.

  Cody settled him on his feet and knelt in front of him, gripping his small shoulders. “Do you want to stay in Breckenridge, buddy?”

  Aaron lifted his gaze to Rory, and she nodded. “We can stay if you want to, baby.”

  “Yes!” Aaron crowed, jumping up and down. “I want to. I want to go to Arie and Tate’s school and stay here with Daddy Cody. I mean Cody. And Aunt Leona and grandma, and I want to be a bear in the woods—” He clapped his hands over his mouth and his eyes went round.

  “Look around,” Cody said low, tugging his little hand from his mouth. “These are your people, boy. You can talk about bears in front of them, but no one else, okay? You didn’t do anything wrong. Everyone here except for your mom has a bear inside of them.”

  “They do?”

  Cody nodded solemnly. “Big ones.”

  “Tate and Arie, too, right?”

  “They have bears just the same size as yours. You won’t have to feel scared
of your animal anymore because we’re all going to teach you how to control that part of yourself, okay?”

  “Can we go down the slide now?” Aaron asked.

  “I think that’s a great idea,” Boone said, scooping Rory up so fast she yelped.

  Dade and Gage pulled Cody to his feet and bullied him down the porch stairs. Cody only fought them half-heartedly. He seemed to be laughing too hard to give it any real opposition as Aaron jumped up and down around them, pumping his tiny fists in the air in his signature victory dance.

  “Boone, you put me down right now,” Rory protested. “I wasn’t planning on going down the slide.”

  “Then why’d you come in that swimsuit? Sorry, Rory. It’s initiation day for the Breck Crew, and this is your moment.” He looked down at her with his laughing blue eyes, so like Cody’s. “Enjoy it,” he whispered as he set her down at the top of the tarp and shoved her.

  Cody hit the slide beside her, holding Aaron, giving that booming laugh with the dimples that said he was completely happy in this moment. Rory nearly glowed from the inside out as they picked up speed. Boone and Dade were yelling behind them as they slid down after them, followed by Tate and Arie and the others. A giant pile of werebears on a redneck Slip ’N Slide.

  Rory flopped over and stretched out on her stomach, arms out for balance as she picked up enough speed to bottom out her stomach. She giggled breathlessly as Cody and Aaron slid around her, hooting about winning.

  “Too slow, Dodson!” Boone called as he passed.

  In her defense, these boys probably had a hundred pounds of muscle on her, and their weight was making them much more torpedo-like than she was.

  At the bottom, she slid off the edge of the tarp and caught Arie before she could hit the grass. Laughter bubbled up her throat as she chased the Kellers back up the hill to go again. When she paused right before they made it to the top, Aaron bustled past her legs with his cousins.

  Rory was soaking wet, covered in soap suds, her hair clung to her face, and her skin was sticky. And she’d never been happier in a single moment than she was right now.

  Cody wrapped his arm around her waist and kissed her silly. With a cheek-splitting grin, one that nearly buckled her knees, he whispered, “I like when you look all happy like this.”

  His tattoos stood stark against the thin, soaking white T-shirt that still clung to his chest, and his defined pecs rose and fell under his steady breath. She gripped the wet fabric of his shirt and stood on her tiptoes. She left a kiss on his cheek, then wrapped her arms around his neck. He lifted her off her feet and rocked her gently, cupping the back of her head with his hand as if she was precious to him.

  “Up on the porch you said I was the best thing to ever happen to you,” she whispered.

  “You are.”

  Those two words were said so confidently she hugged him even tighter.

  Easing back, she cupped his neck and allowed him to see the honesty of her words. “I feel the same about you.”

  He searched her face as his dimples faded and his intense eyes softened. “Say it.”

  “Say what?” she teased.

  “You know what.”

  “What if I want you to say it first?”

  “I love you,” he said on a breath, void of hesitation. “Always have. I just didn’t have words to describe how deeply I felt about you until last night.”

  Against the palm of her hand, his face was smooth. It was invaluable, and she realized, in this moment, that Cody was necessary to her life now. He was a good man, a good father to her son, but more than that, he was everything she wanted. He made her feel complete and confident in herself. Where she’d felt weak and insecure for so long, he made her feel strong.

  He was a firefighter, and his job was dangerous, but she would always be there, waiting for him to come home, her arms and heart open for him. It was risky, giving her soul to a man who could be taken from her so easily, but he was worth it. She’d rather have one day with Cody than a lifetime with a man she didn’t burn for.

  The words that tumbled from her lips were the easiest she’d ever said. “I love you back.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Cody had that faraway look again as he sat slumped against one of the posts on the porch. He took a long pull on his bottled water, downing it, then crumpled the plastic before he dropped it beside him and went back to fingering what looked like the paperclip Aaron had given him.

  Something had happened that had Cody pulling away slowly throughout the day. The lower the sun sank in the sky, the more withdrawn he became. Rory couldn’t figure it out. She’d asked him three times what was wrong, but he’d plaster on a smile and kiss her. Then he’d murmur it was nothing—he had a lot on his mind.

  The afternoon had been perfect, but as time had worn on, he’d withdrawn into himself. Even his brothers were shooting each other worried looks.

  Cody drew his knee up to his chest and stared out over his land, his eyes ghosting over where Rory sat beside Leah to Dade’s jacked-up Ford pickup. In the bed, Boone had stacked blankets and draped a tarp over the top when the kids had gone sluggish. All three of the cubs were cuddled up asleep, the tarp protecting them from the late sunlight. A day of sliding, playing chase, eating, and swinging on the old tire out front had worn them out. Dade’s truck played soft country songs as the rest of the Breck Crew sat around talking the hours away.

  Rory tried to stay in the conversation, but Cody’s change in mood kept her distracted and on edge.

  He ran his hands over his hair, sighed and stood. He approached with a tired smile and pulled her out of the chair, then settled her into his lap. “I have to go somewhere tonight. I want you to stay here with Boone until I get back.”

  “What? No, I can just go back to Aunt Leona’s house.”

  “I need you here with Boone. I can’t explain why either. I just need you to trust me.”

  “You said no more,” Ma said, her voice shaking with something Rory didn’t understand. Fear? Anger? Perhaps both.

  “What’s going on?” Rory asked, twisting in his lap until she faced him.

  Cody’s hand gripped her thigh, and he brushed her hair off her shoulder. Exposing her neck, he stared at her collar bone and refused to meet her gaze. “I have something I have to do.”

  “This is fucked. You know that, right?” Dade asked.

  “Yeah, well, this is our life,” Cody said in a low, gravelly voice. “This is my life. Sometimes I have to do things we hate. Sometimes you all do, too. It’s what keeps everyone breathing.”

  “How long?” Boone asked.

  “How long what?”

  “How long has he been pressing on you?” His voice cracked like a whip.

  A muscle twitched under Cody’s eye as he lifted a feral gaze to his brother. Something at the edge of Rory’s senses thickened the air. Cody hadn’t moved much, but suddenly, her instincts were screaming to get out of the way.

  “Look, Cody,” Gage said, hands out in a calming gesture. “At some point, we have to make our stand. This has gone on too long.”

  “What the hell is going on?” Rory asked again, louder this time as she scrambled out of Cody’s lap to escape the suffocating feeling that clawed at the back of her throat. “What are you talking about?”

  Cody let off a growl that lifted the hairs on her arm. He stood so fast the chair toppled over behind him. Without a word, he took the porch steps two at a time and disappeared inside.

  “Why Boone?” Leah asked. “Rory and Aaron can stay with us.”

  “Because you already have too much to protect,” Boone said in a defeated voice. His eyes were on the open doorway where Cody had disappeared. “If he fails—”

  “He won’t,” Gage snarled.

  “You don’t even know what Krueger asked him to do,” Dade said, standing. His eyes were two angry slits as he glared at Gage. “He’s not invincible, big brother. You think he wanted to be alpha? You think he wants to deal with this shit alone? He’s s
acrificed enough. This family has sacrificed enough.”

  “Dade,” Ma whispered as moisture filled her eyes.

  “Don’t, Ma. Don’t pretend it doesn’t gut you when you watch one of us forced into a dog fight. I’m going with him.” Dade strode after Cody and slammed the door behind him.

  Gage and Boone stood as one, but Ma slashed her hand through the air. “Sit down! Both of you. He’s left you here for a reason. You’ll keep our family safe while he buys us more time. Boone, he’s given you his mate and his son to protect. Sit.”

  Rory didn’t understand what was happening. Cody was going into danger. That much was clear. It didn’t feel like a firefight, though. It felt like someone was forcing him to do something he didn’t want to. To buy them time? What did that mean?

  “Can you watch Aaron?” she asked Boone.

  “Yeah,” he answered, staring at his hands, “but I wouldn’t go in there right now.”

  Ignoring him, she ran up the steps and threw the door open. Following the quiet murmurs of the Keller brothers, she found herself in the door frame of Cody’s bedroom, the room they’d shared last night.

  Across the bed was a belt with three different sized knives. It looked military, and she gasped as her eyes landed on the camo gun case. Cody was already clad in black cargo pants and a tight T-shirt in the same shadowy color.

  “I want to know where you’re going.” Damn her voice as it shook.

  Cody cast her a glance over his shoulder as he pulled a black duffle bag from the closet. “I can’t tell you.”

  “Why?”

  Dade pulled on his own black T-shirt over a large puckered scar on his back. “Because he can’t. He’s not allowed to.”

  Rory crossed her arms. They pulled on belts and shoved knives into sheaths as if they’d prepared for battle a hundred times before. Hell, maybe they had.

  “Is what you’re doing illegal?”

  Cody huffed a humorless sound and shook his head. “The people who give me orders are above the law.”