Finding Me (Pack Bardot Book 2)

by M. K. Harper

  “You’re making a grave mistake, mark my words,” Barron spits as he strolls out, his mate and Lana following right after. I’m not even the slightest bit surprised. I’ve always known he was a coward. Roughly six more members follow suit. Some of them older, some with young families they don’t want to risk leaving behind permanently. About a dozen prominent members remain when all is said and done. The rest of the pack are likely at home, tending to the injured or trying to soothe their scared children and mates. Twelve is more than I could hope for, so I can’t complain. Now, I just have to pray that I’m not leading them all to an early grave.

  Chapter 2

  Daxton

  “How do you want to go about this, Dax?” Bray, my father’s silent, but always observant Beta, steps forward. My fingers wrap around the back of my neck, squeezing the tense muscles that are slowly giving me a migraine, as I try to think of the right thing to say. I’m not even close to being ready to hold a position of authority. My eyes meet Ma’s. She gives me an encouraging smile with a slight nod of her head. With a confidence I don’t truly feel, I blow out a deep breath and address the room.

  “We need someone to get as close as they can to the edge of their land, see if they can pick up anything. They’re bound to have their own wolves patrolling in anticipation of us trying to sneak across. We’ve gotta play this smart. We’ll probably only get one chance to get in and out, and we can’t afford to fuck it up.” I desperately want to storm the fucking place, but I can’t risk Linny’s life like that.

  “Lex can go,” Bray nods to the small, but strong woman leaned against the far wall. “She’s quick and quiet. If she needs to make a hasty exit, she shouldn’t have any problem doing so.” I nod in agreement, looking to Lex for confirmation that she’s okay with that. She tilts her head, the only answer I’m gonna get. Lex may be quiet, but she’s meticulous in everything she does. I know a job of this magnitude and importance will be no different.

  “Okay, then. Lex, make your way there at nightfall. Check back in by morning if you don’t have any news sooner.” She lifts her hand in a small salute and heads out without a word. Waiting an entire day is going to be absolute torture but I know our best chance at this working is under the cover of night.

  “As for everyone else, go home. Be with your families. Hold them extra close because I don’t have a clue what tomorrow will bring.” Slowly, everyone starts to file out. Once they’ve all left, it’s just me, Ma, Grace and Chevy. We just stand there, staring at one another for the longest time, each of us hurting in our own way. I don’t think any of us can come up with anything to say that won’t sound hollow at best. I feel so much responsibility for Linny being taken that I can barely even look in Grace’s direction. The quiet click of a door and the padding of tiny feet grabs all of our attention. As one, we turn to see a sleepy eyed Caulder rubbing his eyes, a small yawn breaking free. His hair is in disarray, having slept like the dead. Only he could manage to sleep through an ambush full of gunfire, but I’m thankful he’s been oblivious to what’s been happening, and I know Linny would be too.

  “Where’s Lindy? I wanna be the first to tell her Happy Birthday!” His eyes sparkle, those innocent little baby blues completely unaware of the hell we’re all in. Another shot to the heart. It’s my girl’s birthday and I haven’t even thought about it until now. God, she doesn’t deserve this. Her life has been full of enough pain. Grace tries to hold it back, but a sob escapes anyway.

  “What’s wrong?” My little dude asks. “It’s okay if you told her first.” Caulder shrugs his shoulders. Now all of us are fighting back tears. When no one speaks up, I realize that this particular task falls on me. I don’t think I’ve dreaded anything more in my entire life. I swallow past the steadily growing lump in my throat and kneel down in front of Caulder. With a deep breath, I proceed to break his already fragile heart.

  “Cauly-Flower,” my voice shakes like I’m a teen in the midst of puberty.

  “I thought we discussed you not calling me that anymore?” The little shit raises an eyebrow at me while crossing his arms, his foot starting to tap. I want to smile so badly, but it hurts too much. He must see something in my eyes because his arms fall to his sides and he straightens, his body unconsciously preparing itself for the pain that’s sure to come.

  “What is it?” he whispers.

  “Last night, after you went to bed, something bad happened.” Caulder shifts on his feet, that same nervous shuffle I do. His eyes dart from one person to the next, his brilliant little mind connecting the dots before the reality of what’s happened has truly registered.

  “Where’s Lindy?” I hate how small his voice sounds. I once again feel that hate for Pack Ames start to overwhelm me.

  “Pack Ames ambushed the party last night. Bear was hurt and they took Linny. We’re working on getting her back right now, buddy. I swear.” Caulder’s so still I’m not even sure he’s breathing. We all stand frozen, waiting for something. Anything. He’s the very definition of the calm before a storm. Finally, a slow blink, followed by his hands fisting tightly. His chest starts to rise and fall rapidly. And then he snaps.

  “Why aren’t you out there?!” he screams at me, his tiny fists pounding against my chest. “Get her back, D. Get. Her. Back! She’s mine, they can’t have her!” he wails, each word punctuated by another hit. I break apart, right there on the living room floor, where some of our best memories have been made. Christmas morning’s, Birthdays...it’s all tainted now with this moment. Tears streak down his chubby cheeks, my own mixing with them as I hold him tightly against me until he stops thrashing. He sobs against my neck, the sound gutting me. Ma crouches down behind him, her hands cupping the back of his head as she leans in and places a kiss against his hair. It feels like we stay that way for an eternity, just clinging to one another. I’d give anything for a time machine. To be able to go back to that moment right before I agreed to walk off with Lana. If I had just stayed, this wouldn’t be happening.

  “It’s okay, sweet boy. I promise we’re doing everything in our power to bring Linden home. She’ll be back in no time. Why don’t we go make you some breakfast, hm?” Ma asks him. Caulder finally stands, his whole body shaking, and takes his Nona’s hand. Just as they’re about to turn the corner and head into the kitchen, he stops and looks back at me.

  “Hey, Uncle D?”

  “Yeah?”

  “If you don’t bring my soulmate home, I’ll never forgive you.” And with that, he turns and walks away.

  Me and you both, kid, me and you both.

  I manage to get back on my feet without anyone’s help this time. It feels like I’ve been tossed around a boxing ring a couple hundred times. Across the room, Grace is sitting on the edge of the couch. Her fingers twist nervously, just like her daughters do, as she stares blankly at nothing. In two short strides I’m pulling her up and wrapping my arms around her. I can only imagine the hell she’s currently living. To have your child ripped away from you has to be a special form of torture.

  “For years I’ve protected her, kept her safe. I don’t know how to cope with not being able to do that right now.” She shudders, her breathing growing more ragged by the second. “Whether she realizes it or not, she’s haunted by what she had to witness from her father. I don’t know if she’ll survive being the recipient, Dax.” I squeeze her, wanting to force those words right back down her throat. Instead, I pull back and look her right in the eye as I speak.

  “She’s a lot stronger than you realize, Grace. But it won’t come to that. My girl’s coming home, and she’ll do so in one fucking piece.” Grace nods, but who knows if she buys what I’m saying. A quick glance at Chevy shows that he isn’t faring much better. He looks so lost. I’m fairly sure the guy has his own shit he’s dealing with, add this to it, and his foundation has been shaken tremendously. Linny has been our life raft, each of us clinging to her for different reasons. I think she came into Chevy’s life when he desperately needed someone and to h
ave her disappear so abruptly is wreaking havoc on the poor boy’s psyche.

  “Chev, why don’t you take Grace to my room so she can rest? It’s the last door at the end of the hall.” He nods, seemingly in a trance, as he takes Grace’s hand and leads her to my room. Maybe if he has something to do, a purpose, he’ll be able to stay out of his head. Even if it’s only for a little while. I’m still standing there, completely lost as to what to do next, when Chevy returns.

  “I’m going to fix her some food so she can take something to help her sleep,” he mumbles as he walks past.

  “Hey,” I snag his arm and pull him in for a hug. He looks like he could use one. Shit, maybe it’s me who needs one since I seem to be handing them out so freely. For a split second, I think he actually feels me up before pushing me away.

  “Yeah...that was as great as I always thought it’d be, but I’d like to remain alive when we get Lin back. So, for my well-being, I’m gonna ask you not to do that again.” I can’t help but laugh. It’s small and pathetic, but a laugh none the less.

  “Not joking, hot stuff. Your mate actually growled at me yesterday. It may have been a sad little baby growl, but I’d rather not push my luck. Everyone keeps going on about how possessive male wolves are with their mates, but she’s a scary little twat when she wants to be.” Chev shudders, and I just shake my head. This is what Linny does for us. Even in the worst moment, she’s able to draw us back to the present and bring a smile to our faces. A world without her would just be bleak. Good thing we won’t ever have to experience it, at least that’s what I’m going to keep telling myself.

  “I needed that,” I smile and shove him towards the kitchen. “Let me know if you need to talk.” He nods and we go our separate ways. I head for the shower, hoping the hot water will help alleviate some of the tension coiled tightly in my shoulders. Hell, my whole body really. But as predicted, it doesn’t do much. I suspect I won’t be able to relax even the slightest until I’ve got my girl in my arms once again. We should be mid bonding right about now. And then I’d be taking her home, exploring every inch of her beautiful body. Our families don’t even know that I proposed last night. I asked Grace a few days back for her permission, but I never told her when I planned to do it. The ring I designed isn’t a typical, gaudy diamond, so it would’ve been easy for everyone to miss last night unless they were specifically looking for it. I’ve managed to lose her before I could even officially make her mine.

  “Fuck, baby.” My head thuds against the cold tile. “I’m so sorry. So goddamn sorry, Linny.”

  Chapter 3

  Linden

  What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger...isn’t that how the saying goes? Well, I call bullshit. Whoever coined that stupid phrase probably hadn’t been starved for three days. Or has it been four? I honestly don’t know. Sometimes, the things that don’t kill you, royally fuck you up. I’ve had a front row seat that proves that theory for the past couple of days. The women here, who’ve accepted their fate and no longer bother putting up a fight, are shells of who they once were. I didn’t have to know them prior to now to draw that conclusion. I’m pretty sure if they could end their own lives, they would in a heartbeat. But these fuckers are smart, despite their hillbilly appearance.

  They’ve made sure to keep our cages free of anything that we could use to escape or harm ourselves with. Or them. It’s been fairly quiet since Christian and Allana made their grand exit. I keep waiting for something awful to happen, knowing it’s inevitable. I’ve been on high alert, barely dozing off for more than a few minutes at a time. Every slight sound has me snapping awake, certain Christian or someone just as evil has come to cement my new reality. It’s getting hard to hold onto consciousness, though. Days without food and water has made me weak, so I’m slipping away longer each time my eyes close. I’d do some seriously questionable shit for an Oreo right about now. Like hand over an organ, one of the important ones, to the black market.

  The sun is just starting to rise, on what I think to be day four. My fingers absentmindedly start to twirl the ring on my left hand, just like they always do any moment I’m awake. The tiniest sliver of peace settles in chest at the contact. I only had a few hours of basking in that happiness he gave me, but no matter what happens, I’ll leave this place - whether that be dead or alive - knowing that Dax was wholly mine. God, just thinking his name is painful. I have no idea if he’s okay or if anyone else I love was hurt that night. I don’t even let myself wonder about Carder. Allana’s words have been a dark presence in my mind but I keep pushing them away, refusing to give them any weight. And my sweet Little Tyrant. What has this done to him? He doesn’t love easily. These people, who share his blood for fuck’s sake, have hurt him in so many ways. I don’t know how he’ll cope with another loss.

  Listen to yourself. Already down for the count, Linden?

  I know I shouldn’t let my head conjure up the worst-case scenario, but I won’t allow myself to rely on some false sense of hope. I don’t know where Dax or any of Pack Bardot is. I thought they would’ve gotten me the fuck outta here by now. I’m not the slightest bit embarrassed to admit that I’d be a-okay with Dax swooping in to save the day. Since I haven’t been able to find any chinks in their armor, I’ve had to resort to patiently waiting for the calvary to arrive, despite Minnie’s earlier proclamation to get me the hell out of here ASAP. Turning my head, I survey the miniature prison beside mine. Minnie’s prone body lies with her back to me, her breaths so shallow I can’t make out the rise and fall of her chest with certainty. Grabbing a handful of tiny pebbles from the dirt floor beneath me, I start tossing them at her. It takes about eight hits before she rouses from her slumber.

  “If you throw one more pebble at me, so help me God, Linden, Dax won’t get to ride in on his white horse and save you because I’m going to kill you my damn self.”

  “Someone’s grouchy,” I chirp, way more enthusiastic than I really am. “Also, I don’t think a horse would allow a wolf to ride it. Ya know, predator versus prey kinda thing.”

  “Your charming wit doesn’t work on me. Now, let me freaking sleep,” Minnie growls at me, which morphs into a painful sounding cough. Every time she falls asleep, I’m terrified she isn’t going to wake back up. I don’t want her to die, I want us both to make it out of this shitty place together. But, selfishly, I also don’t want to end up alone in here. Which is why I’ll continue to peg her in the back with pebbles every so often to ensure she doesn’t die on me. The sound of that steel door sliding open has my back ramrod straight, Minnie looking more alert by the second, too. Which is saying something because she looked to be knocking on death’s door just moments before. Like the worst kind of Deja vu, Christian and Tits McGee step into the small amount of light that filters in from a few tiny holes in the ceiling, their whole demeanors screaming, "Congrats! You're shit show isn't quite over yet, that brief break was only intermission!". In his hand is a bottle of water. It takes more willpower than I knew I possessed to not leap forward and beg him for it. Thank God I don’t because a second later he shoves it at me through the chain link. It’s not even a full-size bottle, it’s one of those mini ones. I somehow manage to refrain from snorting.

  “Just enough to keep us alive, huh? Cheers, fuckface.” I tilt the bottle towards him and down the sad amount of liquid in two gulps.

  “Ah, ah,” Christian tuts while shaking his finger at me. “Better watch that mouth, Kitten. Things are about to go from bad to worse for you.” I do my best to hide it, but I doubt he misses the fear pulsing through every part of my body. The evil smile that spreads across his face lets me know that I’m right. Allana throws her head back laughing, looking right at home with the company she’s keeping. I think I may change her name to Adolf Titler. Tits McGee just seems way too nice for the likes of her.

  “I told you that you’d regret ever coming to Pleasant Falls. Just like I knew he would, Dax has already forgotten all about you. But don’t you worry, after the funeral, I�
��ll be sure to make him all better.” That’s the second time she’s implied Carder’s dead. Try as I might, I can’t let it go. I know she just wants a rise out of me, but I can’t live in this limbo.

  “Somewhere deep down in there, like Grand Canyon fucking deep, there’s a decent human being. Or at least there once was. So just be truthful with me, is Carder really dead?” My voice cracks and tears spring to my eyes. Allana snorts, the damn hypocrite.

  “Not Carder, you idiot. It’s your funeral they’re planning. Do you honestly believe they think you’re still alive? Better yet, that you’re worth starting a war over even if you were? How pathetic. No one is coming for you. The sooner you accept that, the less painful your new life will be.” I breathe a little easier knowing that Papa Wolf is okay, but her words hit so hard I actually feel faint, completely overshadowing my brief moment of relief. There’s no way she’s telling the truth, it’s just another ploy to fuck with your head. Well, A fucking plus for her.

  “That’s some pretty sound advice, Allana.” Christian grins at me, meanwhile, I’m doing my damndest to fight off the vomit steadily rising up my throat. To my utter confusion, Christian steps to the side and begins to unlock Minnie’s cage. As soon as he makes a grab for her, she starts to fight back, using more strength than she should have in her current state.

  “No!” she wails, the haunting sound echoing through the warehouse.