I Will Follow You
Page 8
He didn’t respond.
“I’m coming in.” I cracked the door and stepped inside.
Heath was lying in bed staring at the ceiling. He didn’t pay any attention to me.
Shit, he was mad.
I came inside and shut the door behind me. It was almost one in the morning, but I knew he wasn’t tired. I sat at the edge of the bed and kicked off my shoes.
“What are you doing?” he asked quietly.
“Taking off my shoes.”
“Take them off in your own apartment.”
I stilled, feeling his anger fill the room. “I’m sorry, okay?”
“Okay?” he asked incredulously.
I gripped my skull. “What was I supposed to do?”
“Hmm…” He remained still. “Maybe tell him you don’t want to pick up chicks because you’re seeing someone, at least that.”
“Then he would want to know who it was. I’d rather not lie.”
“Oh, I see,” he said sarcastically. “Because you’re such an honest person.”
I sighed. “Heath, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize,” he said quietly. “Now go.”
“Go?” I asked.
“Yes. Please leave.”
“Don’t be like that, Heath…”
“You should take some time to think about this relationship…and what you really want.”
He was pissing me off. “Conrad was upset. If I told him about our relationship, I would be making the situation about myself. You really think that was the best time to tell him? It would be totally selfish.”
He turned on his side and pulled the covers over his shoulder. “Just go.”
I growled and tried not to snap.
“Don’t forget to lock the door.”
I had nothing else to say, at least anything that wouldn’t make me snap. Perhaps it was best if we both had some space. I stood up and didn’t turn around again. “Bye.”
He didn’t say it back.
Chapter Seven
Trinity
Slade and I were bundled up together on the couch watching TV. We finished dinner about an hour ago, and now we were both full and tired. I lay on Slade’s chest, and our bodies were tangled together. His hand moved through my hair and down my back, touching me the way I liked. I felt me watch him instead of watching the TV.
I missed that.
He would stare at me because he thought I didn’t notice. Unless I looked his way, he wouldn’t turn away. And he made it a habit of touching my engagement ring while I wore it, feeling the metal and diamonds.
I did the same thing with this tattoo.
I couldn’t wait until we got married. I was upset I wasn’t getting my dream wedding, but as long as I married Slade, I didn’t care. We could do it at City Hall. It really didn’t matter. As long as I got to keep him forever it didn’t matter.
“Cold, baby?” he asked.
“No. I got you.”
His lips moved to my hairline and he pressed a gentle kiss there. “I’ll always keep you warm.”
Being with him again thawed the ice that surrounded my heart. I was so grateful that the pain was gone. Only when I was with him did I feel whole. My soul started to feel alive again, being so near to the other half of me.
Just as I fell more in love with him, someone knocked on the door.
“I’m not expecting anyone,” I said. “Are you?”
“No. Did you order food?”
“We just had dinner. Why would I?”
He sighed then sat up, taking me with him. He quickly picked me up then set me down again. He didn’t have a shirt on, like usual, so he pulled one on then headed to the door.
After he looked through the peephole, he spoke. “It’s your mom.”
I knew this would happen eventually. “Tell her to leave.”
“Are you crazy?” he asked. “I’m not going to kick your mom out.”
“She’s not inside. Therefore, you can’t kick her out.”
“You know what I mean,” he snapped.
“Just tell her to go away.”
“You think your mom is just going to walk away?” he asked incredulously. “Have you met your mom?”
How did I get out of this?
“I’m opening the door.” Slade turned the knob.
Mom stood there, wearing black pants and a white cardigan with a gold necklace. Her long blonde hair curled at the ends and framed her face. She was definitely a trophy wife for my father. “Trinity?” She looked at me on the couch.
Slade stood there, trying to disappear.
“Mom, just go.”
She stepped inside. “Just give me a minute of your time.”
“As long as you want to discuss shoes, handbags, and guys who play soccer,” I said.
“Um, hello?” Slade said.
“You’re hotter than Beckham. Don’t worry.”
He grinned like an idiot.
Mom came to the couch and sat beside me. “Don’t be like this, honey.”
Slade sat on the other couch.
“I have every right to be,” I said.
Mom turned to Slade. “Can you give us a moment?”
He stood up to leave.
“No.” I pointed at the couch. “Sit.”
He sat back down.
“You can speak in front of him,” I said. “He’s the man I’m marrying, in case you forgot.”
Mom didn’t react to the comment. “I love Slade. You know that.”
“You knew what Dad was doing but you never intervened,” I said coldly. “You’re just as guilty.”
“Actually, I had no idea what he was doing. Slade came to me and asked for help. I tried talking to your father. But I didn’t realize he was rejecting Slade solely to get you with Reid. You know that, honey.”
I averted my gaze.
“But I still stand by your father’s actions, whether they were right or not. He’s my husband, and I know he had your best interest at heart.”
“Then I’m mad at you too,” I said.
“So be it,” she said simply.
I looked at her again. “I guess you can leave now.”
She ignored my words. “Your father is a mess, Trinity. He can barely stay on task at work, and when he’s home he drinks all night. He’s like a ghost, just a shadow of his former self. If you wanted him to feel bad for what he’s done, you’ve accomplished your goal.”
“Well, I was suffering worse than that and he didn’t blink an eye over it.”
“He was trying to do the right thing,” she said. “You’re just being spiteful. And it’s so ugly on you, Trinity.”
“You know, if you’re just going to attack me, you should just go.”
Mom didn’t seem dissuaded. “Your father loves you, Trinity. If you really don’t believe that, you’re blind.”
“It seemed like all he cared about was getting a good son-in-law to make his image look better. I’m sure having a tattooed son isn’t exactly pleasing to him.”
“That had nothing to do with it and you know it,” she snapped. “Your father has apologized to you and he’s absolutely miserable. Just accept his apology. We’re a family.”
“Slade is my family.”
“I know. And he’s our family too.”
“You never treated him like it,” I snapped.
Mom sighed. “I know your father wasn’t exactly nice to Slade when he realized he was the man you wanted. That’s not news, and I don’t have an excuse for it. Bringing it up repeatedly won’t change the past. But your father has made an effort with Slade. All he wants is to have a relationship with both of you. Trinity, let it go so we can be a family—with Slade.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “No.”
“Trinity.” Slade’s voice came to me.
I turned to him.
“Trinity, your mom is right,” he said.
“Stay out of this,” I snapped.
“Then why did you ask me to stay?” he argue
d.
“Just…be quiet,” I said.
“No,” Slade said. “I can work on a relationship with your dad, no matter how strained it is, so you can forgive him.”
“You’re only doing it for me,” I said.
“What does it matter?” he said. “Trinity, I want you to be close with your father. I think he was being nothing but a dick to me, but I knew he was just protecting his only daughter. If I can understand that, so can you.”
“And I’m just supposed to sweep it under the rug?” I asked incredulously. “Let go of the way he treated you?”
“That’s exactly what I want,” Slade said.
I shook my head and turned away. “No. You’re my family. I don’t let people treat my family like that.”
Mom sighed. “Trinity—”
“You can let yourself out.” I walked into the bedroom and slammed the door.
A moment later, I heard voices.
“I’ll get her to come around,” Slade whispered.
“Thank you,” Mom said. “He’s in a really dark place.”
“She’s just mad right now, but she’ll change her mind.”
“Thank you,” she said. “We’re so lucky to have you in our family.”
Her last words moved me but they still didn’t fix my broken heart.
***
Slade asked me to meet him for lunch at Mega Shake. I wasn’t hungry but I wanted to see him. Besides, I would never say no to a milkshake. When I walked inside, he was standing near the register.
“Hey, baby.” He looked me up and down. “You look hot.”
I was wearing jeans and one of his band t-shirts. “Yeah?” I couldn’t help but grin.
“Yeah.” He grabbed my left hand and examined the ring. “Worth every penny.”
“I think so too.” I leaned forward and kissed him hard on the lips.
He reciprocated the touch but only momentarily. He pulled away quickly and cleared this throat.
Okay, that was weird.
“Let’s sit down.”
“We haven’t ordered,” I argued.
He ignored me and pulled me to a table.
When I recognized a large man in a designer suit sitting in a booth, I understood what was going on. “This has to be a joke.”
Slade moved me toward the booth and blocked my escape route. “Baby, just sit.”
“No, how dare you set me up like this.”
“You can yell at me later. Now sit.” He gave me that look that told me not to argue with him. He grabbed my elbow and guided me into the booth. Then he blocked my exit.
My father stared at me like he hadn’t seen me in years. “Hey, sweetheart.” His voice was weak, like he was recovering from an illness.
“Hey, Mike.”
He cringed at the name.
Slade cleared his throat. “Trinity, your dad and I have settled our differences and we get along. We like each other. Everything is good between us. Now, let’s just let this go.”
“You’re such a liar.”
“You want to watch us shake hands?” he asked sarcastically.
“I know you, Slade. You’re forgiving for the most part, but not when people don’t deserve it. What Mike did to you was unacceptable. If he weren’t my father, you wouldn’t let it go.”
“But he is your father. And I have let it go,” he said. “Trinity, please just try.”
Dad took a deep breath. “I love you so much.” Emotion caught in his throat. “I’m sorry. Please give me another chance.”
Slade watched my face. “Come on, he means it.”
“He’s been controlling my whole life,” I said. “He’s been manipulative. He was never this way with Conrad, only me.”
“You’re my little girl,” Dad said quietly.
“I’m an adult. I’ve graduated college. If I wanted to marry Slade, you shouldn’t have sabotaged it like that,” I argued.
“You’re right,” he said. “I was trying to protect you and my actions came from a good place, but you’re right. My behavior was unacceptable. I’ll apologize for the rest of my life if I have to. Just…please.” He begged with his eyes. “Just give me one more chance. Just one.”
I looked away, unable to see the pain in his eyes.
“Trinity, don’t be cold,” Slade said. “He said he was sorry and everything worked out okay. We’re getting married and now we’re family. Let’s be happy.”
“Get up.” I waited for him to move.
Slade sighed. “Trinity…”
“Either move or I’m going to crawl underneath,” I threatened.
Slade gave Dad an apologetic look then moved.
Dad stood up when I did. “Please.” Tears were in his eyes. “Please. Don’t cut me out of your life. I’ll do anything.”
“Just leave me alone,” I said. “That’s what you can do.” I walked off and marched out of Mega Shake, not bothering to look at the hurt look on my father’s face.
***
Slade mentioned my father several times over the following week. He did everything he could to make me reconsider my decision, but I refused to budge. My father knew I was in love with Slade and he purposely kept us apart.
How could I forgive him?
I refused to. It wasn’t the first time he’d done something like this. He was overprotective of me, trying to make decisions for me about my personal life when it wasn’t his place. He tried to get Reid and I together before, and he told me he would never do that again.
But he did.
And I almost lost the love of my life because of it. I was sick of making excuses for him. In the end, he was never going to change. He would always be a selfish, controlling asshole.
Slade finally dropped it, but I knew he was brainstorming another way.
When we went to bed one night, I put on his t-shirt and left my bottoms off. Slade usually slept in the nude but tonight he had his boxers on. We lay in bed together and I cuddled close to him, waiting for the steamy sex to ensue.
When he didn’t make a move, I moved on top of him then kissed his chest, making my way down to his stomach and to the area between his legs. He moaned quietly then grabbed me and pushed me off.
I lay back and waited for him to move on top of me.
But he didn’t. “No sex.”
What did he say? “Sorry?”
“No sex,” he repeated.
“I know. I heard you. But I don’t understand.”
He rested his hands behind his head. “I’ve tried to get you to forgive your father but you haven’t budged. I’ve tried everything to bring you two back together. Nothing has worked. So…no sex until you change your mind.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“I wish I weren’t…”
“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” I snapped.
“I’m out of ammo. I don’t know what else to do.”
I rolled my eyes. “You’re going to crack before I do.”
“No, I won’t,” he said simply. “I really want this to happen, Trinity. You’ve let it go on long enough.”
“My relationship with my father is none of your business.”
“Well, I’m your fiancé so I think otherwise.”
“Fine.” I pulled off my thong and tossed it at him.
He threw it on the ground and stared at the ceiling.
I lay on my back and touched myself the way I used to when he was gone. I fantasized about him even though he was right beside me. The moans started to come out, and they weren’t for his benefit.
He sighed and didn’t look at me. “You’re a bitch, Trinity.”
I kept touching myself while writhing on the bed. “Slade…”
“Fuck it,” he snapped. He pulled off his boxers then moved between my legs.
I gave him a victorious grin. “How long did that last? Two minutes?”
“Shut up.” He thrust into me hard and fast. He brought me into a climax easily because I was already there. My hands glided
over his chiseled body, and my nails dug into the skin over his hard muscle.
He pounded me hard into the mattress, like he was more excited than usual. He grunted and moaned while he moved inside me, and quickly, he found his release. He breathed hard and tensed while he filled me.
I gripped his ass and pulled him further inside me. “I can feel you…”
He released another moan while he looked into my face. Then he released a deep breath when he finished.
“Don’t pull that number again.”
He pulled out of me then lay down. “Well, you still need to make up with him.”
“Just do what you do best. Love me and fuck me. Leave the rest to me.”
He pulled me into his chest and closed his eyes. “I think that qualifies under love me.”
Chapter Eight
Arsen
Ryan and Janice were celebrating their wedding anniversary, and they invited me to come along to dinner. Of course, I accepted. I wanted to be there for the people who’d given me everything. But I had another reason as well.
Silke rejected me and told me she’d never trust me again. It hurt, like acid thrown on my skin, but I accepted it. She had a boyfriend and she was happy. It was unrealistic to expect her to hold a torch in her heart for me, but I couldn’t blame myself for hoping. I knew she loved me with everything she had. I was there when everything happened. How could I not remember?
But that didn’t stop me from loving her. That didn’t stop me from wanting her with everything I had. It didn’t decrease the urge I had to see her. While I accepted her decision and wouldn’t bother her again, my heart could feel whatever it wanted to feel. Just because she didn’t want me didn’t mean I couldn’t still want her.
I got Ryan and Janice a gift card to a bed and breakfast in Connecticut. They both seemed too busy with their careers and they could use a weekend away with nothing but nature. I recalled Ryan saying he loved to fish. Perhaps he and Janice could do that together.
When I approached the restaurant where we were meeting, I felt sick. Silke would probably bring Pike along. I’d have to sit there and act like I wasn’t dying inside. When he touched her, I couldn’t cringe. I had to sit there and live out my worst nightmare.
I wanted Abby to be there, but Lydia had her this weekend and she wouldn’t budge in switching me. She said she missed her and already made exciting plans for the weekend. I didn’t ask again and let the request die. I never crossed any lines and let Lydia do what she wanted. I couldn’t afford to piss her off.