I Will Follow You

by E. L. Todd

  I stopped before I walked inside, willing myself to remain calm. If I could survive prison, I could survive seeing Silke with her new boyfriend. I could put on a smile and shake his hand.

  I could do it.

  I walked inside and put my hands in my pockets. I wore dark jeans that hung low on my hips and a gray t-shirt. I went shopping just for the occasion, trying to find something that highlighted the muscles of my arms and chest. I wanted to look good for Silke. When we first saw each other she did say she thought I was hot. As low as it was, I thought if I made her attracted to me, she would be tempted to leave her boyfriend.

  Man, I was a horrible person.

  I walked inside then searched for a familiar face. There was a table in the center of the room, and I saw Ryan waving at me. I nodded in his direction then walked over. Ryan and Janice were sitting side-by-side and I headed to them first.

  “Happy anniversary.” I hugged Janice then Ryan.

  “Thanks, kid,” Ryan said.

  I patted his shoulder. “I can’t believe you got Janice to stick around for so long.”

  He released a sarcastic laugh. “I know exactly how I got her to stick around for so long.” He winked at me.

  “Gotcha.” I laughed then patted his shoulder.

  Across the table sat Slade and Trinity. I hadn’t seen them in almost two years. It was nice to see they were still together. Politely, I approached Slade with my hand extended. “It’s nice to see you.”

  Slade took it while eyeing me. “Shit, you’re ripped.”

  I laughed. “It’s pretty boring in prison.”

  Slade laughed. “I’ll say.”

  “Congratulations on your engagement.”

  “Thanks, man. This hot blonde is mine forever.” He winked. “And she’ll stick around—if you know what I mean.”

  ‘The whole room knows what you meant,” Trinity jabbed.

  I turned to her then extended my hand to shake hers.

  Instead, she stood up and hugged me. “It’s nice to see you again.”

  I hugged her back then watched Slade over her shoulder. He didn’t look happy.

  “Baby, enough of that.” He grabbed her dress and yanked on it. “Sit.”

  She rolled her eyes then sat back down.

  “I could bulk up like that if I really wanted to,” Slade said to Trinity.

  “You don’t need to,” she said. “I think you’re perfect the way you are.”

  He gave her a fond look and their eyes had a connection. A second passed then he rubbed his nose against hers. He turned his attention back to his menu without saying a word.

  At the table, there were two chairs left. Did that mean Silke was the last person to join us? I sat down next to the empty seat and didn’t ask any questions. I didn’t want to get my hopes up.

  “Arsen,” Trinity said.

  “Yes?” I turned my gaze on her.

  “Silke broke up with Pike.” She gave me a big smile. “Just thought you should know.”

  My heart sped up to a million miles an hour and I stopped breathing. “Oh.” I didn’t know what else to say. I was trying to keep my cool and not jump on the table and start dancing.

  “Like a month ago,” Slade said. “Trinity just mentioned it now.”

  “I assumed you already knew,” Trinity hissed.

  That caught my attention even more. “Are you sure?”

  “A hundred percent.” Trinity winked at me. “Make do with that information.”

  So, when Silke and I spoke last week, she was single them? Why wouldn’t she tell me that? Why would she hide the information from me? What did that mean?

  “Good luck,” Slade. “My sister is stubborn as hell.”

  I wasn’t listening. So, Silke was available. That changed everything. It was a whole new ball game. I could fight for her without giving up. But the real question was, why did she break up with him? They were together for six months and then she ended the relationship as soon as I came along.

  Did she break up with him because of me?

  Did I dare hope?

  My heart wouldn’t slow down.

  Excitement coursed through me.

  I tapped my foot under the table because I couldn’t sit still.

  Ryan looked at me with a smirk but didn’t say anything.

  I interpreted that as his permission to pursue Silke. And I grinned back.

  A few minutes later, Silke stepped into the restaurant. She wore a pink strapless dress with a jean jacket. Her hair was curled and over one shoulder, and nude pumps were on her feet. She wore dresses and heels a lot more than I remembered, and she rocked it every time.

  My eyes honed in on her legs, staring at her with desire without shame. She didn’t have a boyfriend so I didn’t feel guilty anymore. Her dress covered her chest, but there was a faint line that marked the swell of her breasts. She walked like she possessed confidence, but she didn’t act like she was the hot bombshell that she was. Her face had light make up on but it wasn’t overdone. And I wanted to fist her pretty hair.

  “Hey, Mom. Hey, Dad.” She hugged each of them then turned to Slade and Trinity. “It’s nice to see you lovebirds for once.”

  “We don’t get out much,” Slade agreed.

  Then Silke’s eyes landed on me.

  Everyone remained quiet.

  She stared at me for a moment, like she was considering saying something. But then she changed her mind. She approached the chair beside me.

  I stood up then pulled it out for her.

  She eyed it for a moment before she sat down.

  I pushed the chair in then sat beside her. “Hello, Silke.” I wanted to call her by her nickname but refrained from doing so.

  “Hello, Arsen.”

  “You look nice.”

  “Thank you.” She picked up the menu and didn’t return the compliment.

  I kept my hands to myself even though it was almost impossible to do so.

  Slade eyed us for a moment, like he expected something to happen. Trinity gave Silke a particular look then pointedly nodded in my direction. Silke didn’t react at all. The moment was tense for everyone. It seemed like Silke hated me.

  “So, what’s prison like?” Slade blurted.

  “Slade!” Trinity smacked his arm. “Don’t ask him that.”

  “What?” he asked with a shrug. “It’s just a question.”

  I smiled. “It’s okay. I don’t mind.”

  Slade leaned forward in interest.

  “It’s pretty much exactly what you would expect. Prisoners were trying to get the upper hand by being the alpha of the group. You have to sleep with one eye open because you never know when someone will nick the few possessions you have, or just simply stare at you. Respect is commanded by the degree of your crime. Since selling weed is so amateur, I lied and said I murdered ten people.”

  “Cool.” Slade’s eyes were wide. “Did you get into any fights?”

  “A few,” I said. “There was one guy who had beef with me. I never understood why. We battled back and forth the entire time I was there. And yet, we never actually shared words.”

  “Is that why you got buff?” Slade asked.

  “Partially. The bigger you are, the less likely someone will mess with you. But I was also bored.”

  “Did someone try to…you know?” Slade gave me a knowing look.

  “Slade.” Ryan’s firm voice told him to knock it off.

  I forced a smile even though I didn’t find the question amusing. “Let’s just say I was the pretty boy of prison.”

  Slade’s eyes were wide. “So did…?”

  “No,” I said immediately. “You don’t want to mess with a guy who murdered ten people.” I added a laugh to keep the conversation light. In actuality, prison was a hellhold. Every day I wished it would end and all I wanted was to be with normal civilization again. I wanted the luxury of using the toilet in privacy and just going outside when I felt like it.

  Silke took a deep breath the
n grabbed my hand under the table. Her face was stretched in pain, like my words hurt her deeply. She squeezed my hand and caressed my knuckles with her thumb.

  The touch made my heart flutter, and I felt like I was flying. Her simple touch was beautiful. It touched my heart in a profound way. I missed this touch, this affection. I missed the way she used to hold me whenever I was down. No matter how much time had passed, it would never stop her from wanting to comfort me. I knew my pain hurt her more than it hurt me.

  She still loved me.

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered. My hand returned her affection, and I enveloped her fingers with mine, giving her comfort. I stared down at her face, seeing the anxiety in her eyes. “It’s okay, Silke. I’m fine now.” I gave her a smile. “See?”

  She looked up at me but the pain still throbbed from deep within.

  I leaned closer to her, my nose almost touching hers. “Don’t feel bad for me. It’s an experience I’ll never regret.”

  She searched my eyes for something, but I didn’t know what. Then she found whatever she sought because she seemed comforted. Her eyes didn’t sag with so much grief. She turned away, taking her hand as well.

  Her family was watching us, and when we turned back to them, they awkwardly tried to pretend they were drinking their water or eyeing their menu. Slade tried to snatch his so quickly that he knocked it off the table. Trinity rolled her eyes in embarrassment.

  I decided to change the subject. “Anything special planned?” I asked Ryan and Janice.

  “I don’t know.” Janice gave him a knowing look. “Anything special planned?”

  He put his arm around her shoulders. “Actually, yes.”

  “And it better not be what I think it is,” Janice said.

  “How about a full body massage by yours truly?” Ryan asked.

  “That’ll last five minutes,” Janice snapped.

  “No, I’ll do it right.” Ryan gave her a grin. “Promise.”

  “I always offer to rub Trinity’s back when I want sex,” Slade blurted. “Works every time.”

  “You just blew your strategy, genius,” Trinity snapped.

  “It’ll still work.” Slade shrugged.

  The waiter approached our table and started taking our orders.

  “What are you getting?” I asked Silke quietly.

  “Hmm…the eggplant parmigana.”

  “Excellent choice,” I said. When the waiter approached us, I ordered for both of us.

  Silke stilled but didn’t react in any other way.

  I was being forward but she had to know I was different than I used to be. Now I was a gentleman and I had class. I would treat her the way she wanted, and I would fight for her instead of pushing her away. And I didn’t feel guilty about it because she gave me that look she used to give me, one that told me she still loved me. I had a chance with her, and I was going to take it.

  “Still got your Harley?” Slade asked.

  “Nope. I have a Honda,” I said.

  “A Honda?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.

  “A Honda Civic.”

  Slade stared at me like I was insane. “You traded in your Harley for an old woman’s car?”

  “Slade!” Trinity smacked his arm again.

  “Baby, would you stop hitting me?” he growled.

  “Well, I have a daughter so I can’t risk my life needlessly,” I said. “And it’s a nice car. It gets me where I need to go.”

  “Do you miss your Harley?” Slade asked.

  “Not even a little bit,” I answered.

  Janice gave me a look of approval then sipped her wine.

  “You got a kid?” Slade asked in surprise.

  “Yeah, I forgot to mention it,” I said. I pulled out my phone and handed it to him. “Scroll to the right.” There were hundreds so it would take him a while.

  Slade swiped through the pictures. “Dude, she looks just like you.”

  “I know,” I said proudly.

  “Awe.” Trinity squinted her eyes and smiled. “She’s adorable.”

  “I know she is,” I said with more pride. “Thank you.”

  “What’s her name?” Trinity asked.

  “Abby,” I answered.

  “So cute,” Trinity muttered.

  “I know,” I repeated. Abby was the one thing I was vain about and I didn’t feel any guilt over it. She was perfect and sweet, and I wanted the whole world to know that. “As you can tell, I’m one of those annoying parents that brags about their kids and doesn’t shut up about them.”

  “That’s never a bad thing,” Janice said with a smile.

  “How old is she?” Slade asked.

  “Six,” I said. “She’s in first grade. And she’s so smart. It scares me.”

  “Well, she didn’t get that from you,” Slade teased.

  I chuckled. “Probably not.”

  Slade handed the phone back to me. “Silke, have you met her?”

  “A few times,” she said quietly. “And she’s as cute in person.”

  “My daughter has a very particular fondness for Silke,” I said. “She asks about her all the time.”

  Her entire family gave her a knowing look. What it meant, I didn’t know.

  “Ready to be a stepmother?” Slade asked.

  “Slade.” Ryan shut him up just by saying his name.

  Slade sighed and leaned back in his chair.

  Silke looked across the restaurant like her brother hadn’t just insinuated that we get back together.

  I wish she had a different reaction. All my dreams had been of the three of us sitting in the park together, being a family. That’s what I wanted more than anything, and of course, I wanted to have another child with Silke. It made my heart beat so quickly I thought I would die if I didn’t get it.

  “So, what happened with Pike?” Slade blurted.

  “Slade.” Ryan gave him another threatening look.

  “What?” Slade asked. “I can’t ask her anything?”

  Silke took another sip of her wine and didn’t answer the question.

  And I really, really wanted to know the answer.

  “So, what can I talk about?” Slade asked. “There’s a huge elephant in the room. There’s no way Silke’s not into Arsen because he’s super hot and super successful—”

  “Super hot?” Trinity asked. “Slade, should I be worried…?”

  I tried not to laugh.

  “You know what I mean!” Slade rolled his eyes. “He’s like a different person. He reminds me of Sean, all sophisticated and intelligent and crap. And he weighs as much as a cow. But fine, if you guys want to pretend nothing is going on, then we’ll just sit here in silence and hope it happens.”

  Now it was even tenser. I couldn’t see Silke’s face but I’m sure her cheeks were red. “Let’s do the gifts.” I pulled out the envelope and handed it to Ryan.

  “You didn’t have to get us anything,” Janice said with a smile.

  “I wanted to,” I said. “You guys are parents to me.” I cleared my throat because emotion caught in my throat.

  Ryan read the card then took out the paper. “A weekend at a bed and breakfast in Connecticut.”

  “Really?” Janice said with excitement. “I’ve always wanted to do that.”

  I smiled. “I’m glad you guys like it.”

  “Whoa, hold on,” Slade said. “Wait until you get our gift.” He grabbed the bag from under the table and passed it.

  Ryan opened the bag then took out a book. When he read the cover, he cocked an eyebrow. “Coma Sutra For Old People: Find Your Pleasure.” He gave Slade a long look before he shook his head slightly. “How thoughtful of you…”

  “Just for the record,” Trinity said. “That’s his gift. Mine is in the bag.”

  Janice took out a picture frame, and inside, was a picture of all four of them at a party of some sort. It was outside and there were lights in the background. Everyone was dressed in formal attire. “From your engagement…” She smiled and
her eyes watered. “It’s wonderful. We love it.”

  Trinity smiled proudly.

  “My gift was better,” Slade said.

  “I told you not to give that to them,” Trinity snapped.

  “It’s an awesome gift,” Slade said defensively.

  “Thank you both,” Ryan said. “Your mother and I don’t need the book, we got plenty of experience, but we appreciate the thought.”

  “See?” Slade gave her a triumphant look.

  “He’s just being polite,” Trinity said. “He hates it.”

  “I hate you,” Slade barked.

  “I hate you more.”

  Slade rolled his eyes and didn’t look at her.

  “And they’re in love, huh?” I whispered to Silke.

  “They’re different,” she said. “But yeah, they are.”

  “I’ll take your word for it.” I added a laugh at the end.

  Silke handed Ryan her bag and patiently waited for them to open it.

  Ryan did the honors and pulled out a brown sculpture appearing to be made of stone. It was a man and a woman, and each of them was holding the hand of a small child. They were a family, and it looked like they were at a park. The detail was striking and amazing. It looked like a professional had created it with wise fingers. I could stare at it for hours and still find something new.

  Ryan and Janice stared at it for a long time.

  Then, Ryan’s eyes began to water. “You made this, sweetheart?”

  She nodded.

  “It’s beautiful,” Janice said. She felt the sculpture with her fingertips.

  Ryan turned it around and examined it from every angle. Then he placed it on the table. With eyes still red, he kneeled before Silke and hugged her tightly. “I’ll keep it as long as I live.”

  Silke hugged him back and closed her eyes.

  Janice hugged her on the other side.

  I felt awkward sitting close to them. I felt like I was interrupting a tender family moment. I looked away but couldn’t help get choked up a little bit.

  “You’re so talented, sweetheart.” Ryan pulled away then kissed her on the forehead.

  “Our little girl,” Janice said.

  They went back to their seats, and Ryan’s emotion ebbed away.