Irregular Heartbeat

by Chris Zett

  Emily slumped in the seat again. “Not too bad, just the usual. But today I’d rather not be here at all.”

  Diana sat in the visitor’s chair and stretched her legs as well. “I could think of something better to do right now.” Her tone had lowered to the sexy teasing that made Emily feel warm and tingly all over.

  “No, no, don’t go there. I thought we would keep this professional at work.” Her protest was only feeble, and judging by Diana’s smile, she knew it. Having Diana here in her office, alone, was the highlight of her shift, but she couldn’t give in to the temptation of touching her. She clutched the armrest to keep from walking to the other side of the desk. She wanted to pull her from the visitor’s chair and drag her over to the sofa in the corner that she sometimes used to sleep at work. Not that she was sleepy now.

  “I was only talking about dinner; what did you think?” She playfully tapped her foot against Emily’s under the desk. “But now that you mentioned it…”

  Laughing, Emily loosened the death grip on her chair. “Do you want to grab something quick on our way out?”

  “Or maybe we can pick up some takeout and eat at your place.” Diana twirled the drawstring of her scrub pants around her finger.

  This small sign of nervousness relaxed Emily. She wasn’t the only one invested in their relationship. “I’d love to. Meet me at my car?”

  “Great. I need to return. Lab results should be back by now.” Diana stood and looked at the closed door, then back at Emily. Shaking her head, she turned to go.

  “Wait.” Emily jumped up, following an impulse she didn’t want to examine too closely. She stepped around the desk and quickly pecked Diana on the lips.

  Diana grinned and left the room with a wink.

  Leaning with her back against the closed door, Emily pressed a hand against her tingling lips. Professional conduct, right. She hadn’t even lasted one shift despite her good intentions.

  Sunday afternoon Diana fought to keep her eyes open as she attempted to read the newest Journal of Emergency Medicine. Not that it wasn’t interesting, but no amount of coffee could help her concentrate after a week of too much work combined with too little sleep. Putting her feet up on the couch at work probably hadn’t helped either. A few minutes of rest now that the ED was quiet just felt good.

  “What are you thinking?” Emily looked up from her own journal. She sat on the couch opposite, leaning her head back und stretching her legs in front of her. Anyone who knew her at work would be surprised to see her that relaxed, but Diana thought it looked good on her.

  “Karma is a bitch.” Diana sat up and stretched. “If Courtney had been here yesterday, my feet wouldn’t hurt from running around that much.”

  Courtney had called in sick two days ago after her request for a few days off had been declined. Her new boyfriend wanted to take her away for the weekend, and she apparently didn’t care that they couldn’t find anyone else on short notice.

  “And what has karma to do with that?” Emily asked.

  Diana kept her gaze on Emily. She wasn’t proud of what she’d done, but she wouldn’t hide it from her. “I did this more than once to my colleagues during my first residency. Now I know why I wasn’t anyone’s favorite.”

  Emily’s lips narrowed to the firm line Diana had seen so often during the first weeks. “I need to talk to Courtney again when she returns to work.”

  Diana shook her head. “Not on my account. I don’t know what happened. Maybe she’s really sick.”

  “Yeah, right.” Emily rolled her eyes. “Don’t worry, it’s not because of what you said. This isn’t the first time she has pulled a stunt like this. We can never prove it, though. Her overall attitude isn’t exactly motivated.”

  A sharp line furrowed Emily’s brow, and Diana wanted to smooth it out with her fingers. Or kiss it. But she couldn’t do that at work.

  “Forget about her. Let’s talk about our plans for our day off tomorrow. I vote for sleeping in.”

  A rosy glow tinted Emily’s cheeks. “I wish I could. But tomorrow is Monday, and I am presenting the lecture to the residents.”

  Diana groaned. “I nearly forgot about that. I guess I have to show up too. My boss is kinda strict, you know?” She winked, delighted to see the hard lines disappear as Emily laughed.

  “How about we go out for breakfast after the lecture and then see what we want to do with the rest of the day?”

  Diana lay down on the couch again. “Good plan. But then I need some rest now. Wake me if something happens.”

  “Lazy resident.” Emily chuckled and returned to her reading.

  Diana studied her through half-closed eyes. A small smile remained on Emily’s lips, even though her concentration had shifted back to the journal. Her hair was curly, giving her a softer look, and Diana warmed as she remembered what had kept Emily from her usual morning routine of straightening it. The lack of sleep might kill her soon, but it was worth it.

  Chapter 18

  Emily sat on the sagging couch in the staff lounge, cradled her new travel mug in both hands, and inhaled the warm fragrance. Her favorite Darjeeling. Diana had to switch to nights three days ago and had given her the burgundy metal cup so Emily would think of her. Not that she needed a reminder.

  Today she had come in an hour earlier than usual under the pretense of working on an article. She had come up with this plan when she was lying sleepless in bed, missing Diana like crazy. She had lived all her adult life alone, and now three days were too long. Saying hello and goodbye at turnovers in the morning and evening just wasn’t enough. Hoping to catch her in the hour before shift change, she had been disappointed when Diana was too busy to talk. The summer flu still held Seattle in its grasp, clogging the ED. Every bed in the hospital was occupied, and some of the patients stayed days in the ED until they could either go home or move up to another floor. The virus had spread among the overworked staff too. Several nurses, residents, PAs, and an attending had called in sick, and now Diana was stuck on the night shift with double the workload and half the staff.

  The door opened, and Liz and Diana entered together. Both looked like they were awake and moving on willpower alone.

  Diana fell on the couch next to her with a thud and unsuccessfully tried to suppress a yawn. “Hi, good to see you.” She pressed Emily’s hand in what could have been a platonic gesture, but her eyes told a different story. Her hazel irises were a murky brown today, and dark shadows contrasted with her too-pale complexion, but the spark in them shot directly to Emily’s heart.

  “Hi.” Emily wished she could hold and kiss her or at least hug her.

  “I’ll just go over there, get some coffee, and stare at the wall for at least thirty seconds. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” Liz grinned, stood, and did what she had just announced.

  Immediately, heat suffused Emily’s cheeks. Were her thoughts written all over her face?

  “Hi.” Diana leaned closer. Her tone was more intimate now, and Emily shivered in anticipation.

  “Hi,” Emily whispered. She dug her hands into the seat cushion, but the pain didn’t curb her desire to reconnect with Diana.

  Stupid rules! She kissed Diana before she could lose her nerve. Her lips were warm and so, so soft. They touched slowly, reacquainting and reassuring themselves of their connection.

  Separating felt like the hardest thing Emily had ever done. She leaned back and growled with frustration.

  Liz chuckled. “You two are so cute. You should have seen this one here moping around last night.”

  Diana threw her pen at Liz. “Shut up!”

  Laughing, Liz caught it with one hand and threw it back.

  As the first colleague of the day shift arrived, Emily reached for her tea again, hoping the others would think the hot beverage had caused her cheeks to flush.

  The door flew open, and Tony stuck his hea
d in. “I need a doc, stat. Ambulance just brought in an unresponsive woman. Overdose, they say. Idiots didn’t call first.”

  Diana stood before Emily could decide if the night shift was still responsible or the day shift should take the case. “I’ll go. Bail me out after turnover.”

  Emily wanted to protest. The last three nights had taken a toll on Diana, and she looked beat. But Emily wasn’t known for coddling residents and wouldn’t start now.

  Adrenaline swept away Diana’s bone-deep weariness. Overdose, the magic word to wake her up, better than a double shot of espresso.

  Diana hurried past the open doors of the ambulance bay to treatment room one. For a second, the flashing blue lights catapulted her to the cold night that had changed her life. She shook her head. Get a grip! That was over a year ago.

  She stepped into the room and consciously left her past outside as she donned the protective clothing and gloves. “What have we got?”

  One of the paramedics stepped closer, snapping off her soiled gloves. “Female, midthirties, found unconscious in a hotel room when she didn’t meet with her driver. GCS five, BP ninety over sixty, heart rate one hundred and forty. We gave her a bag of saline without improvement. We couldn’t get a reliable sats, best was ninety-one. She puked just now when we moved her. Possible aspiration.” She shook her head with a disgusted expression. “Probable overdose. We found an empty container of oxycodone on the bedside table.”

  Diana thanked her and hurried over to the gurney, where the nurses were busy attaching the patient to the monitor and cutting her out of her soiled clothes.

  Tony suctioned her mouth, cursing. “Diana, I think you need to intubate. No gag reflex.”

  A quick glance to the monitor confirmed they couldn’t get a reliable reading on the sats either. The gray color of the woman’s face and the too-few and shallow breaths with gurgling sounds were a sure sign that oxygen supply was lacking. “Tony, get everything ready.”

  Diana stepped to the head of the table. The sour stench of vomit made her stomach heave. She swept the black sweaty hair out of the woman’s face and opened the eyes with soft pressure. No resistance, not a good sign. The pupils were tiny black specks in a sea of pale blue, adding plausibility to the theory of an overdose. Diana looked up at Madison, the other nurse. “Give her 0.4 naloxone.” Maybe the antidote would be enough to wake her up, and Diana wouldn’t need to intubate her. “I’ll bag her until it’s taking effect.”

  Tony handed her the bag connected to a plastic mask on one side and the oxygen on the other end.

  With one hand Diana adjusted the patient’s jaw to prevent the tongue from blocking the airway and pushed the plastic mask snuggly over nose and mouth with the other. She pressed the bag regularly, but the woman’s cheeks didn’t lose their ashen complexion. For the first time since she had entered the room, Diana had a moment to really look at her patient. She was young, maybe Diana’s age, and the cut of the eyes reminded her of someone.

  Oh fuck, Katie! The mask and bag slipped from her hands with a squeaking sound.

  She quickly readjusted her grip. Was she imagining things after twelve hours of nonstop working? She studied her again. The color of her hair was all wrong; she was even thinner than before, and the lines around her eyes were more pronounced than the last time Diana had seen her, but it was Katie. Diana’s heartbeat accelerated, nearly matching the frantic beeping of the monitor. Sharp pain shot through her hand with every move as it cramped from the effort to keep the mask in place and to stop herself from trembling. She promised. What happened?

  The shrill alarm of the monitor interrupted her. It had finally gotten a signal of the oxygen saturation, and it wasn’t good. Sixty-five percent and rapidly falling.

  Diana pushed everything from her mind and let her training take over. “Intubation, now.” She put the useless mask aside.

  While Diana pulled Katie’s mouth wide open with her right hand, she blindly held out her left for the laryngoscope, trusting Tony to hand it to her. She inserted it and pulled to get a good view, again reaching for the tube without taking her eyes off her goal. She pushed the tube between the vocal cords with a slight twist, relieved when she got it on the first try. “Inflate the cuff.”

  Diana switched the bag from the mask to the tube and handed it to Tony to press it. She fumbled with her stethoscope, nearly dropping it, before she placed it correctly in her ears. “Sounds good. Secure the tube.”

  She looked from Katie to the monitor and back. The color slowly returned to her cheeks with each squeeze of the bag, and the oxygen levels climbed steadily. Both Katie’s and her heart rate decelerated somewhat, now that the immediate life-threatening situation was under control. What have you done, Katie?

  “Excuse me.” Someone pushed past her, and Diana took a step back, realizing she stood in the way of the respiratory tech who wanted to hook Katie up to the respirator.

  She should examine her now, give instructions, make calls, but she was stuck in a bubble of slow motion, with the rest of the team rushing through their routine. Her hands were trembling, and she peeled off her gloves. Katie’s saliva was clinging to them. Clenching her fists until her nails bit into her flesh, she fought to regain control. The pain helped to pierce the bubble surrounding her, and she grabbed a fresh pair of gloves and jumped back into the fray.

  She continued working as if Katie were any other patient until Stacy from registration stuck her head in and asked for a name. Diana froze.

  “She didn’t have an ID on her. Call the hotel.” Tony handed her the papers the paramedics had left them.

  “Katie…Kathrine Dawn, date of birth January twenty-fifth, 1979,” Diana heard herself say.

  Great, there goes my chance at handling this discreetly. Diana shrugged. She couldn’t take it back now; she’d deal with it later. She looked around the room. It seemed as if everyone had stopped in midmotion to stare at her. She flinched when she saw Emily leaning at the wall next to the door.

  Her lips formed a silent question. “Your Katie?”

  Diana winced and nodded. Katie hadn’t been hers for a long time.

  Emily’s expression hardened. “Everyone, you have to be careful who you talk to. The press might call or try to get in. Nothing leaves this room.” Her voice softened as she addressed Diana. “Does she have immediate family?”

  “Only her mother. I’ll call her, and she’ll bring an ID with her.” Diana didn’t look forward to that call, but at least the bad news would be coming from her instead of a stranger. Katie’s mom had suffered through enough of those notifications.

  “Okay, everyone. Get her ready for transport.” Emily stepped closer and led Diana to the corner of the room.

  The touch of her hand warmed Diana even through the layers of protective clothes.

  “Are you okay? I would have never guessed you knew her from the way you did your job.”

  “I don’t know. I’m too numb; I think it’ll hit me later.” Diana couldn’t talk about it now or she’d break down.

  “You call her mother, and I’ll take care of her, okay? You’re off the clock now.” Emily’s voice soothed her like a hug, not the usual impersonal tone she used at work.

  “Okay, thank you.” Diana ripped off her gloves and the protective gown and balled them together. Too tired to even try to throw them accurately, she dragged herself to the wastebasket on the other side of the room.

  She pulled her phone from the pocket of her scrubs. Luckily, she had never cleaned up her contact list as she had started her new life.

  Diana tried not to squirm when one of the younger nurses stared at her until Tony elbowed her and pointed out something for her to do.

  So, that’s how it will be from now on. She sighed and left to find some privacy for the difficult call. The second code room next door was empty.

  Katie’s mother answered on the first ring.


  “Olivia? It’s Diana.”

  “Hi, honey. Good to hear from you. How are you?” Her tone was genuinely happy. Diana hated that she had to change that.

  “I’m fine. You know that I work in a hospital again? In Seattle?”

  “Katie told me that, but she didn’t know where exactly. You don’t talk much anymore, do you?” Olivia sighed.

  “No, not recently. I think we both needed our distance. But I’m calling because of her. Did you know she is in Seattle right now?”

  “Yes, we met the day before yesterday, but she wanted to fly back to LA today. Have you met?”

  “No, well, yes. But not like I wanted to meet her again. I’m actually calling from the hospital I work at, the Seattle General.”

  Olivia didn’t answer. Different scenarios must be going through her mind now, each worse than the one before. And the truth wouldn’t hurt any less.

  “She was unconscious when the paramedics brought her in.”

  Olivia gasped. “Is she okay?”

  “She is stable now, but still unconscious. She’ll go to the ICU any minute now.”

  “But she’ll be okay? Diana? Please?”

  Diana swallowed the lump in her throat. Her medical experience told her it was too early to tell. Anything could have happened to Katie’s brain during her oxygen deprivation, and her fight against addiction was far from over. But she was talking to her former almost mother-in-law, who had always treated her as a family member, even in the years Katie and she had only been colleagues and barely friends.

  “I hope she’ll be okay. They…we’re doing everything we can. But it would be good if you were here when she wakes up.”

  “I’ll be there as fast as I can.”

  “Olivia, don’t drive. Get a cab.”

  “Good idea. Thanks, honey. Will you be there?”

  “Yeah, I’ll go with her to the ICU and wait for you.”

  After she had disconnected, Diana leaned against the wall and closed her eyes. Chaotic thoughts swirled through her mind, and she struggled to make a plan. What should she do first? Go back in and face the stares and maybe even questions of the others? Talk to Emily? Call Katie’s manager, her ex-manager?