Murder of the Month

by Tegan Maher

  I squinted at the paper. "Are you sure that's right?" I asked. "I thought nothing ran behind us but a right-of-way for the power company and some old strip mines."

  "I'm positive," she said. "I helped Addy hash out the property lines when Calvin died, because the coal company had left one stupid rusting backhoe on a piece of property and claimed it was still operational to avoid having to restore the land. They’d leased the piece of land that backs up to the farm from the folks who own that middle strip. Turns out, they'd encroached by more than a hundred yards all the way down that property line onto your farm. They had to pay her rent and damages."

  Peeling the label off my beer, I asked, "Why didn't I ever hear of that?"

  She lifted a shoulder. "I have no idea."

  Coralee piped up. "I do. It was because you were still fairly young, and she didn't want you to know she was tight on money. It was right before you and Shelby were due to go to 4-H horse camp and she was determined you were gonna make it. That coal money is what sent you. I can remember, she was so relieved she cried because she was just about to tell you she couldn’t afford for you to go."

  That just made me love my aunt all the more.

  "Aww," Cheri Lynn said. "As gruff as she likes to play it, she's such a softie."

  Much to everybody’s surprise, Kensey, who wasn’t supposed to know Cheri Lynn was even there, looked up at her. "That's how my mom was, too. I think it was a mark of their generation."

  I glanced back and forth between the two of them, not sure what to say.

  Kensey grinned. "I'm surprised your aunt didn't tell you. We aren't magic the way you all are, but we do see spirits. As a matter of fact, my mom went to yours when they were just kids. She was so freaked out when she saw her first ones, and she’d heard the rumors about your family. I think she just wanted to make sure she wasn’t crazy."

  Addy must have forgotten about that, or not realized Kensey got the gift from her mom, because she’d been in stealth mode when she came to tell me Gabi needed a ride. Whatever, though. I breathed a sigh of relief because we could all talk directly to Cheri Lynn again. I hated leaving her hung out to dry. "Cheri Lynn, meet Kensey. Kensey, Cheri Lynn."

  "Nice to meet you, Cheri Lynn,” Kensey said, dipping her head in my ghostly friend’s direction.

  "Likewise," Cheri said, smiling. I was glad for her because most women hadn't been that accepting of her when she'd been alive, mostly because she'd been an exotic dancer at Keyhole's one gentleman's club, but also because she'd had attitude. Come to find out, that had been a defense mechanism.

  Sandra, who'd been quiet until then, examined the napkin closer, her brow furrowed. "So who owns the property in between Kensey and Ida, and Ida and Noelle? We need to see if they've gotten letters, too."

  For as long as I could remember, the plots beside us and behind had been empty.

  "I don't know who owns it now," Coralee said, "but it used to be the Adcock family owned them both. The parents died back in the late 70s or early 80s and the kids had already scattered. No idea if they kept it or sold it off."

  Thankfully, I had the might of Peggy Sue behind me. I'd lay dollars to donuts she'd know the answer off the top of her head. Even if she didn't, she'd be able to find it in two minutes flat. The only problem was, it was the weekend and she was out of town for her first real vacation in years. I'd just have to wait and hope whoever wanted a chunk of my hide wasn't in too big a hurry.

  CHAPTER 34

  WE SPENT THE REST OF the night goofing off and pretending somebody wasn't trying to kill us. I was glad, and a little bit sad, that Olivia Anderson—my arch-nemesis and a bimbo of the lowest order—hadn't shown up. She was always good for some stress relief, but I had a good time and didn't need the hassle anyway.

  Everybody kept it between the lines and didn’t drink too much, so we each went our separate ways at the end of the evening. Gabi was in much better spirits, but when I drove by one of the storefronts and saw my truck in the mirrored reflection, I got mad all over again.

  Even in the dark with only the streetlights to go by, the passenger side was a mess. I'd called my insurance company before we'd left the house, and they’d said to drop it off at Skeeter's the next morning. Thankfully, I'd kept Bessie licensed, because it was hard to tell how long my new baby would be in the shop.

  Gabi’d ridden with me and must have seen the look on my face. “I know it isn’t my fault, but still ... I’m sorry.”

  “Pht. I’m sorry some jerkwad mistook you for me and tried to kill you.”

  She grinned. “Never a dull moment, I guess. My crazy people tried to kill you when they dumped my ex’s body in your barn. I figure we’re even now.” That was a true story that happened when Gabi and her horse, Mayhem, first showed up on my doorstep.

  “Yeah, well they better hope I don’t find them first. I love this truck.” I slid her a sideways glance and a smile. “And you’re okay, too, I suppose.”

  Hunter was waiting when we got back. He had discouraging news. Georgia Investments was a shell corporation ran through about a dozen other shell corps. One of his buddies in Indianapolis specialized in such things, so he agreed to follow the money and find out where it led if he could.

  I explained the property lines to him so he’d understand why Merriam’s name was in the mix, drawing them out the same for him as Coralee had for me.

  “That’s all well and good, he said, but what’s the deal? I mean, the properties are valuable, but why does somebody want all of them? And why now?”

  “Your guess is as good as mine,” I said, frustrated. “But we need to figure out who owns the other properties. If nothing else, we need to make sure they’re okay if they live locally.”

  “Oh, that’s all a matter of public record,” he said, “and in my move toward transparency, Peggy Sue’s been transferring all the property-tax stuff, including ownership, to the county site. JC’s a great deputy but a better site developer, believe it or not. We’ve been contracting him to set everything up and he’s been helping get everything entered, too.”

  JC was a young guy, and like I’ve said before, jobs in a small town aren’t always easy to come by and Keyhole Lake’s no different. He’d always been a techie, but it wasn’t like we had an Apple store or BestBuy in Keyhole. Even if we had, he probably still would have made less money than he did being a deputy with a few years on the force.

  “That’s awesome!” I said. “I know he’d rather make money doing that than issuing speeding tickets.”

  Hunter snorted. “He was willing to do it when he was on the clock just for his deputy’s pay, but that wouldn’t have been right. I looked into what a job like that would normally cost, and that’s what we’re paying him. Shoot, with the way Hank was runnin’ the place, I can afford to get the county into this century and still not come close to charging the taxes he was.”

  Yet another reason I loved the man. Most people would have let the kid do it for nothing, but not Hunter.

  I stood up on my tiptoes and gave him a kiss before I reached for my laptop. “Then let’s give this new system a whirl.”

  JC had big props coming the next time I saw him. It took me all of five minutes to find out the property was owned jointly by a Katherine Mirabel Adcock and Francis Macon Adcock. Judging from the names, I assumed they were older, though I may have been off base on that. There was no alternate address listed, so even though we knew who owned it, we had no idea how to get ahold of them. I wondered what Peggy Sue did on such occasions, but it looked like I’d have to wait ’til she got back the following morning.

  We considered our work done for the day and pulled up a movie on Netflix.

  CHAPTER 35

  SUNDAY’S WEATHER WAS just as gloomy and nasty as Saturday’s, so I opted to go to the funeral in jeans, at least until Ida and Belle popped in.

  “You can’t wear jeans to a funeral,” Belle barked, wearing her fiercest expression when I tried to dig my heels in. “It’s unseemly. After
all, if the family can dress up in their hour of mourning, surely you can take the time to doll up a little too. It’s a funeral, not a picnic.”

  “I agree,” Ida said, her voice all high and mighty. “I only get one funeral, and as the deceased, I insist you wear a dress.”

  Only in Keyhole would I even be having this conversation. I turned to them, my eyes narrowed. “Keep it up and I’ll go nekkid. The only shoes I have that go with a dress are heels. I’ll sink in the muck.”

  They’d just about nagged me into the one multi-purpose black dress I owned when Rose showed up dressed in slate slacks, a black silk blouse, and dressy ankle boots similar to the ones I’d planned on wearing with my jeans.

  I turned to the two ghosts, crossed my arms, and gave them my now what do you have to say look. Rose looked back and forth between us, confused by the obvious standoff. She looked classy and, most importantly, event-appropriate.

  “What’s going on?” she asked.

  “I was just being lectured because I wasn’t planning on wearing a dress to the funeral.”

  Rose rolled her eyes and looked at the two women. “Be reasonable, Mama. It’s wet out and the ground is soggy. Besides, there’s a cold front pushing through and it’s a little chilly.”

  That was standard Georgia weather for this time of year. Baking hot one day and, well, not freezing the next, but close enough when you were used to sweating.

  For her part, Ida was doing her best to get along with Rose, so in the name of peace, she left it. “Fine. But no denim. One simply does not wear dungarees to a funeral.”

  “Dungarees? Really, Mama?” Rose motioned to me. “Pay her no mind. This is an argument we’ve had since I can remember. Be comfortable.”

  I stuffed my jeans back in the dryer and marched to my room, emerging a few minutes later in an outfit similar to Rose’s.

  Ida paused, looking a little unsure as we gathered our bags and headed toward the door. It was a look I didn’t think I’d ever seen on her, and it threw me off kilter.

  “What’s the matter, Mama?” Rose asked.

  Ida looked down and wrung her hands a little. “What if nobody shows up?”

  I’d never seen Ida anything less than confident, so I wasn’t quite sure how to handle it, especially given her newfound amiability. I was surprised to find myself feeling bad for her, especially considering her fears weren’t unfounded. She hadn’t been the most popular of people, but she’d had a few people she got along with. Surely they’d show.

  Belle hmphed. “Are you kiddin’ me? Everybody in town’s gonna show up if for no other reason than to make fun of Felix’s new wife and hope for some drama.”

  Ida’s form started to vibrate and I glowered at Belle. “Not helping. At all.”

  Belle realized what she’d done and ushered to Ida’s side to fix her faux pas. “There, there, dear,” she said. “They’ll make fun of her because she’s tacky, and Felix obviously traded down. Even folks who didn’t care for you will take your side on that point.”

  Ida’s form stabilized a little as sniffed. “Do you really think he’ll be tactless enough to bring her? I didn’t see her at the viewing. The only person I saw with him was Rose.”

  I glanced at Rose, unsure how to handle the situation. She knew her mom better than anybody.

  She took a deep breath and let it slowly out. “No, Mama, she was there,” she said. We all waited, hoping for the best but fearing the worst. And by fearing, I mean we were actually afraid she’d flip out and do some serious damage.

  Ida looked puzzled. “I don’t remember seeing anybody there I didn’t know, except for a homeless woman dressed in some hideous polka-dot ensemble who was probably just there for the free food. Poor soul.”

  I hid my laugh behind a cough. “Uh, that would have been Millie.”

  You could have heard a pin drop as I watched several expressions flit across Ida’s face. I held my breath, hoping she settled on some emotion that wouldn’t cause her to blow up my house.

  She did the one thing none of us expected—she burst into gales of laughter. It was a good thing she didn’t need to breathe anymore, because she’d have suffocated.

  Once I accepted that house and hearth were safe, I started to see the humor in it myself, and joined her, followed by Belle. Rose didn’t quite get there, though.

  “Go ahead, all of you. Laugh,” she said, skewering us with a glare. “I’m the one who has to deal with her. Mama, she wanted me to give her the keys to the house last night so she could start moving in.”

  Again, Ida surprised me. “Oh, baby,” she said, wiping silver tears of mirth from her eyes. “Don’t you worry your pretty little head about that. That woman will never sleep under my roof. Trust me.”

  That reminded me that one of the women had overheard Ida asking Felix to move back in, and I asked about it.

  She drew her brows together in thought. “The only conversation I’ve had with Felix in years was a few weeks ago, when I told him I thought we should consider taking the offer on the house.” She rubbed her chin, then grinned. “I know exactly what the old bat heard. Felix isn’t exactly the grand success he thought he’d be, and he mentioned rent was eatin’ him alive. I said, would you like to move back in with me, then? Is that what you want? It was sarcasm and an attempt to make him see the logic in selling the house, not a plea to get that bald, polyester-wearing fool back in my life.”

  “Mama!” Rose said. “He’s still my father, so please, can you dial back the disdain just a little?”

  Ida about chewed her lip bloody, had such a thing been possible, but she didn’t say another word about him all the way to the cemetery.

  I hoped for Rose’s sake Millie decided to show up in something a little more ... fashion forward and conduct herself like she had some sense, but I wasn’t holding my breath.

  CHAPTER 36

  WE WENT TO THE CEMETERY a little early so Rose could make sure everything was just so, though why the details mattered so much now that she knew Ida was still around eluded me a little. I said as much and she shrugged.

  “I don’t know,” she said as we picked our way across the soggy property toward Ida’s plot. “It just seems like the thing to do. After all, most people think she’s gone, and I do have to live in this town for the foreseeable future. Can you just imagine the tongue-waggin’ that would go on if I cancelled it? Or worse yet, if I showed up late?”

  She had a point, and I wondered how I would have handled things had Addy shown up before her funeral rather than after. Just her casket had cost a fortune, and I’d gone as cheap as I was comfortable doing. After all, I didn’t want to send the woman who’d raised me to her eternal resting place in a cardboard box, but I couldn’t afford to go gold leaf, either. One night after she’d been back awhile, she’d asked how much I’d spent on her funeral, knowing I’d struggled to figure out how to make two thousand dollars stretch to four. If she’d been corporeal, she’d have skinned me alive when I answered.

  This situation was a whole other kettle of fish though. Money wasn’t an object, so Rose had gone all out on the casket and flowers. Ida floated around the whole gig, examining it from every angle.

  “Was this as weird for you two as it is for me?” she asked Addy and Belle as she hovered inside the tent that was covering the coffin and seating area.

  “I don’t know,” Addy said. “I missed mine.”

  Belle nodded. “Me too, but I imagine it would have been.”

  Ida continued to float above her casket, bobbing a little as she pondered it. “It’s almost like I’m mourning, too,” she said, a tear slipping down her cheek. “It just sank in on me. I’m dead.”

  Belle and Addy shared a knowing look.

  “You are, sugar,” Belle said, “but it happens to us all. Don’t think of it that way, though. Think of it as you just don’t ever have to fold another pair of bloomers, change clothes, do your hair, or wash dishes ever again.”

  “Yeah,” I said, casting a glance
at Addy. “Now you get to boss around other people and make them do it.”

  “Great,” I heard Rose mutter. “So much for leavin’ a dish in the sink overnight.”

  “Darn tootin’, young lady,” Ida said.

  Addy heard her and pinned me with a glare. She floated toward Ida and I was a little surprised when she said, “Your tendency’s gonna be to hover, but you can’t do that now just like you couldn’t—or shouldn’t have, at least—when you were alive. You still gotta give Rose her space. She’s a grown adult.” Her gaze swiveled back to me and her eyes narrowed. “You’ll likely still wanna throttle her sometimes, but you gotta let her live her life.”

  Ida examined Rose, who was shifting foot to foot, no doubt wondering if it was too late to call shenanigans on the whole deal. “I suppose you’re right. She’s is a grown woman, and she’s done me proud so far.”

  That was about the last thing I expected her to say, and I hoped she continued to make such a colossal effort to get along. Otherwise her afterlife was gonna drive Rose to day-drink.

  “And look at it this way,” Addy said. “Hopefully, the worst part’s over. The coffin’s closed so you don’t have to worry about weirdos touching you.”

  “True,” Ida said. “Or look at that horrid lipstick Coralee put on me. I’m sure she didn’t go back and change it like I told her to.”

  I smiled and so did everybody else; Ida—ghost Ida—was still wearing the lipstick, and Coralee and Belle were right. Even though she was translucent, the color did wonders for her complexion, especially compared to her signature pumpkin orange.

  We were saved from having to explain why we were smiling when Cheri Lynn popped in. I held my breath as I introduced her to Ida. The woman shocked me again when she smiled, a mother-hen look on her face. “Addy and Belle have told me all about you, honey. I’m sorry about what happened to you, but I’m glad you’ve found happiness on this side.”