All My Truths & One Lie

by Fabiola Francisco

  Laughing, Matthias places his arm around my shoulder. “And I’d do it a million times again.” He kisses my cheek.

  “Just don’t convert to one of them,” he smiles as he points at my brother and me.

  “Never, a little friendly competition is healthy,” Matthias responds and winks at me.

  At the end of the evening, we return home. Marcos and Becky head to the guest bedroom, and Matthias and I stay on the couch for a bit, catching up on emails. He holds me close after I shut down my laptop, and I rest my head on his shoulder as his hand caresses my belly.

  “I think Marcos and Becky are having a good time.”

  I nod against his shoulder. “They like you.”

  “I like them, too. It’s a shame they live so far away,” Matthias’s breath tickles my cheek. “I guess we’ll tell them the news once we’re ready through video chat.”

  “Yeah, that would be nice.” I shift closer to him, hugging his middle.

  “We should name her Faye.” My head snaps up, hitting his chin.

  “Sorry!” I rub his face.

  Matthias’s laugh echoes. “That got your attention. I’m okay, love.” He kisses my palm and moves me, so I’m sitting across his lap.

  “You’re so sure it’s a girl.”

  “Ever since you told me about your dreams, I felt it was. Maybe not the exact same baby, but she was coming to you how you and I came together before we met.” He wipes the tears that stream down my face.

  “That would be sweet.” I’m an emotional mess.

  “I believe it’s true. So what do you think? Faye?”

  “It means fairy,” I respond with a big smile.

  “I know,” he nods.

  “I love it.”

  “I love you and that bean you’re caring for.” He kisses my lips, my cheeks, and my forehead.

  When I moved here, I hoped for a story like ours. I never expected the pain that would come with it, the growth, and the healing. I expected a true fairytale, but we all know perfection like that doesn’t even exist in movies. Matthias brought out the junk I had stored away, that I had thought I was done dealing with, and he allowed me the space to work it out. We both had to overcome things we didn’t want to face, but we grew from it. He was right, we aren’t like Sam and Max. Our purpose is different.

  Our roles in each other’s lives are bound by a timeless connection and a life together in this physical world.

  This has allowed me to be a better guide for my clients in helping them heal. Matthias has helped me in a few group sessions, and it’s been so amazing to work beside him and witness his wisdom. We make a pretty good team, partners in everything. The next romance I write will be ours, so the world knows that we don’t need to have our shit together before we find a deep connection with someone else. That regardless of the crap, we deserve love. Our past doesn’t own us. No one has everything together because we’re continually digesting emotions and memories that may ignite pain. The real power is pushing through it. A butterfly’s transformation causes discomfort and pain, but when its wings dry it’s prepared for a new perspective.

  I remember once Makenna asking me why I’d felt so lost in my life. I didn’t want to tell her at first, but her words have stayed with me throughout this entire time. “It’s okay to feel lost and search for your soul. The pain you’ve endured is the same that has made you whole. Look in the mirror, and there you’ll see that you’re not lost at all. The same girl is still within.”

  And she is, the same brave girl I remember from my childhood is still present within me. I’m still that person—wise, courageous, and kind. Now, I have the man that was created to be with me by my side. A man whose soul sparked with mine at the beginning of all things, destined to come together again when we were both ready. To work together for a greater good.

  Publishing this book is the end of stigma. It led me back to that girl Makenna spoke about. Now my story will be out in the world without masks or pretenses. The truth laid bare as I move forward, prepared for where inspiration will lead me. With Matthias by my side, the embarrassment no longer exists. The pain is eased. The disgust dissipates. Forgiveness reigns.

  I breathe deeply, exhaling the weight of the secrets I’ve held on to for so long, and feel Matthias’s warmth surround me.

  Continue reading for a sneak peek of the book Matthias chooses from Navia's shelf.

  Max returns and finds me. His breath plays along the back of my neck as he speaks from behind me. A simple hello that cracks me open.

  I soaked up the light sitting on the sidewalk the other morning and its remnants are still lingering. In the quietness of your core, you come face to face with your truth. My truth has been clawing from my core and I have been releasing her little by little, adjusting to this new version of me.

  “What are you doing?” Max asks.

  “Drinking a mule.”

  “I see that. I mean in general.”

  “Drinking a mule,” I repeat.

  “Went for a run?” I nod.

  “You’re the only person I know who fuels up with vodka after a run.”

  “How was Germany?”

  “Your change of subject is anything but subtle. It was fine.”

  “Fine?” It’s his turn to nod.

  We sit at the same table but not together. Max is in his mind, me in mine. We both sip drinks.

  When you begin to feel, you open up a faucet of emotions. You wake up the numbness that has flowed through you and suddenly everything has an affect on you. You feel good and bad. You feel happiness and jealousy. No longer are you walking veiled in coldness. You now go through the heartbeat of emotions, roller coasters.

  I experience this with Max. Sometimes I hate him and other times I feel how he has snuck into my being. Sometimes I’m jealous of Germany for taking so much of his time. At times, I’m grateful he’s away so I can be alone. Those are my new moon days. The days I would rather darkness swallow me than be lit for someone to analyze.

  Some people tamper with darkness and then get out, and others get swallowed whole. Although I am finding balance between my darkness and light, I was swallowed whole. I like it there. In the emptiness of my mind where memories escape me, but I’m learning we need to work through those memories to find some kind of middle point in life. I could live lifelessly in a pit of black, but I’m not sure what kind of life that would be. It used to be the ideal life for me.

  “Are you ready?” Max interrupts my thoughts.

  I look up and focus my eyes on him a second. Tilting my head to the right I say, “Yeah.”

  On the walk to my apartment, Max asks what I had done while he was away. I tell him about my escape to the countryside to admire the stars. He shakes his head but I know he’s humored. I see his eyes smiling.

  As we reach my apartment, Max stops and turns me until my back is on the wall of a building.

  “Let me love you tonight.” Permission.

  Anxious. That describes Max today. My curiosity about his mood is drowned when he kisses me.

  “Okay,” I whisper.

  The same way darkness swallows a soul, light does as well. Max’s light is becoming an addiction. A drug I want to steal from him. Breathe it all from his lips until his heart is begging to be released. I want to devour his soul like a stubborn tornado and then drop what’s left of him. The only thing that stops me is the damage that will be left if I do. He’s taught me compassion.

  Read Red Lights Black Hearts

  Standalone

  All My Truths & One Lie

  Perfectly Imperfect

  Red Lights, Black Hearts

  Twisted in You

  Memories of Us

  Restoring Series

  Restoring Us (Complete Series)

  Resisting You (Aiden and Stacy Novella)

  Sweet on You Series

  Sweet on Wilde

  Whiskey Nights

  Rebel Desire Series

  Lovin' on You

  Love You
Through It

  All of You

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  Let’s me start by saying thank you to you, for picking up this book and taking the time to read my work. For your support and our belief in my words. Readers give life to authors’ careers, and without you our art is for an empty audience. Thank you for your support, always.

  Thank you to my family for supporting this crazy dream and encouraging me to keep going.

  I’m blessed to have an amazing group of people that work with me throughout the entire process. Amy Queau, thank you for a gorgeous cover! Thank you for taking the time to make sure my “baby” is perfect. To Claire and Wendy from Bare Naked Words, who always make sure I have the best release and work hard to support me. Robin Bateman, I appreciate you and your hard work in editing my novel, Hurricane Florence and all. Cary Hart, thank you, thank you for making the inside of this book as stunning as the outside.

  To Bex from Editing Ninja, I cannot thank you enough for making time to proofread this story and making sure I stay on schedule. I will forever be grateful for what you did.

  Rach and Christy, God, what can I say? Soul sisters, soapy thighs for life, more than book friends. You two have been my rocks from the beginning and continue to be years later. Our friendship is rare, and I’d be lost without it.

  Veronica and Miriam, I can never thank you enough for always reading my stories first, taking the time from your lives to give me feedback on my writing, and your unconditional support. I come back time and again with questions you’re always willing to answer. Also, for making sure I put out what I write instead of rockung in a corner, hiding from the world.

  Joy, I’m not sure how we went from meeting at a takeover a couple years ago and bonding over Brett Eldredge and boy bands to the friendship we have today, but I am so glad it happened. You always say I don’t need to thank you, but I do. No matter the time, you’re there for me, even with a seven hour time difference now. Thank you for working Happily Ever Insta and the hustle you put into supporting authors.

  Brittany, you made sure to talk me off the ledge with this one. Many times. For that, I’ll be forever grateful. Cary, thank you for being there. For checking in and listening when I needed someone to just hear me out. Ashley, our sprints keep me motivated. I’m so happy I have found people like you through this journey.

  My Fab Readers, you are amazing! You keep me going each day, support me, encourage me. I love “hanging” out with you and sharing my work and life with you. You helped me write this book by offering your word prompts and feedback when I’d share the scenes with you. Because of you, this book is what it is. Thank you!

  A huge thanks to my review team, who is always there to give feedback and answer questions. You all are amazing!

  Authors and bloggers, coming together as a community always makes my heart happy. Thank you for your support, shares and laughs. It’s amazing all the good we can do together. It feels great to belong to such a strong community.

  Fabiola Francisco loves the simplicity—and kick—of scotch on the rocks. She follows Hemingway’s philosophy—write drunk, edit sober. She writes women’s fiction and contemporary romance, dipping her pen into new adult and young adult. Her moods guide her writing, taking her anywhere from sassy and sexy romances to dark and emotion-filled love stories.

  Writing has always been a part of her life, penning her own life struggles as a form of therapy through poetry. She still stays true to her first love, poems, while weaving longer stories with strong heroines and honest heroes. She aims to get readers thinking about life and love while experiencing her characters’ journeys.

  She is continuously creating stories as she daydreams. Her other loves are country music, exploring the outdoors, and reading.

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