Low Sided

by A. J. Downey

  “Hey, Prospect,” I muttered.

  “Jesus, you look like shit,” Sauley said, and I knew it was bad but—

  “Thanks, bro.” I grunted and sat up.

  “Sorry, man. They said it was bad but… I didn’t know what to expect.”

  “You could use a bath or a shower,” Raven said gently. “The hot water would help with the stiffness.”

  I nodded. “Sounds painful,” I said.

  “Probably, but you’ll probably feel better for it. I can help you if you can’t.” She directed that second “you” at Sauley.

  “Ahhh—” Sauley looked taken aback.

  “Fuck that, I don’t want him seeing me naked,” I said, and Raven laughed.

  “That leaves me seeing you naked,” she said dryly, and I shook my head. “You don’t have to, either. I can do it myself.”

  “You’ll need help,” she said, gently.

  “Naw, fuck that, I’ve got it,” I argued.

  “Fine. Bath, not shower. I don’t want you to fall,” she countered, and she looked like she wasn’t about to take any shit.

  I snorted.

  “Bro, I’d listen to the lady,” Sauley said.

  I gave him a dirty look. What I wanted to say was shut the fuck up, prospect. I want your advice; I’ll give it to you.

  What I didn’t want was Raven to take it wrong. She didn’t know our world and the general hazing that went along with signing onto the club charter. Plus, Sauley wasn’t trying to be a dick, unlike me. He was just genuinely trying to help. He was a good kid.

  “What’d you bring me?” I asked.

  He sighed and said, “What the doc ordered. Sweats, loose-fitting clothing. Comfortable.” He shrugged. “Sorry it took so long, I had… uh…” he eyed Raven. “Club business,” he muttered finally.

  I nodded. It probably wasn’t too deep of club business, but I caught his drift. Business enough that the citizen between us didn’t need to know about it.

  “You did good,” I told him.

  “I’ll draw you that bath,” Raven said, arching a brow. She went into the bathroom and turned on the tub. I pinched the prospect’s cheek and gave it a tight shake between forefinger and thumb when he helped himself to an eyeful of her ass as she bent over the tub.

  “Don’t get cute,” I told him, and he grinned, rubbing out his cheek.

  “Sorry, bro. Didn’t realize she was off the menu,” he said quietly, letting the tub drown him out to her ears.

  “Not trying to disturb her life any more than I have, that’s all,” I said when she looked back our way.

  “I told you before, it’s no trouble,” she said, straightening.

  Ha. That’s a straight-up lie.

  In the end, I had Sauley leave what he brought and told him to fuck off – as polite as could be, but he got the picture. When Raven shut the front door, I gasped, reaching over the back of my head was a lesson in agony. I got the shirt halfway up my back and over my head, groaning when light hands touched my arms and Raven’s voice insisted, “Stop! You’re only going to hurt yourself and tire yourself out. Let me help you.”

  I relented, and let her take my dirty, bloodstained, and torn tee the rest of the way off me. I stopped her hands when she went for my belt.

  “Whoa, hey!” She immediately backed off, turning scarlet.

  “I’m sorry,” she rushed out. “I didn’t mean—”

  “It’s okay,” I said quick to cut her off. “Just took me by surprise is all.”

  She wouldn’t look at me and looked like she was close to tears with, if I had to guess, embarrassment.

  “It’s okay,” I soothed. Wincing, I raised my arms and asked, “These wraps need to stay on?”

  “No, of course not.”

  She went for them and gentler than I could have imagined anyone could be, unclipped the Ace bandages and unwound them carefully from around my ribcage. I grunted and winced.

  “Didn’t realize how much that was doing for me,” I confessed with a restrained laugh, and she nodded.

  “I know, it’s like that,” she said.

  “Sounds like you speak from experience,” I said carefully.

  “I do,” she confessed, and her sorrow was as palpable as my rage was instantaneous.

  “How bad?” I asked carefully.

  “Bad enough,” she said. “I’d… I’d rather not say more than that.”

  “No, I get it,” I said, and she glanced up at me with steely blue eyes, the outer iris wreathed in an iron gray. Her eyes were stunning. Reminding me of an overcast, storm clouded sky over the churning of Elliot Bay.

  “You have really pretty eyes,” I said, her gaze apparently taking out my brain-to-mouth filter.

  She quickly looked away and said, “Thank you. Can you get up?”

  That was a fuckin’ misery, but I made it.

  “You can get your pants,” she said and actually turned around, giving me her back. I chuckled.

  “Ain’t ashamed of what I got, you don’t have to do that,” I said.

  “It’s okay,” she said, and her posture was stiff.

  I got everything undone, but…

  “Fuck.” She twitched and I sighed. “I need help getting things off all the way,” I said with a sigh.

  She nodded and turned around, keeping her eyes resolutely on my face while she did what needed doing. I don’t know if it was better or worse, her looking at me like that as she took my pants.

  Worse, definitely worse, I thought to myself as my cock stirred.

  She turned and preceded me into the bathroom and bent to shut off the water. Fuck if that view of her ass didn’t send me from a twitch in my manhood to half-mast and growing taller by the second.

  I covered myself with my hands when she glanced behind herself in my direction and I sniffed.

  “I thought you weren’t shy…” she said with an almost sly slow-spreading grin.

  “It’s not that,” I confessed and wondered if she could see the creeping blush through the bruising.

  The smile evaporated and she looked almost timid when she said, “Oh.”

  “Sorry. Really, I am, it’s just…” I stopped myself before I could embarrass myself further.

  “What?” she asked, straightening.

  “You’re my kind of beautiful,” I said, and rushed out, “Shit, that sounded corny, fuck.”

  She hugged herself across the middle and bit her bottom lip. She didn’t smile, but she didn’t look displeased, either.

  “No, it was nice… thank you,” she murmured and turned sideways so I could get past her.

  It was some interesting jockeying to get me into the fuckin’ tub and it was a little too full for the displacement created by my ass. Still, as old and shabby as the fuckin’ thing was, it was clean. She kept her space neat. A real minimalist or whatever.

  “You okay?” she asked as I tried to breathe around the pain. The only good thing about it was with as much hurt as I was in? Total boner killer.

  “Yeah, yeah I’m good,” I said.

  She sighed and I could see she was strained, emotionally or whatever, and I felt it too.

  “Look, as soon as I can, I’ll get out of here. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate everything you’re doing. Truly. I owe you. A lot more than some fuckin’ groceries.”

  “It’s not you,” she said around an uncomfortable laugh. “It’s not. Really.”

  “What is it, then?” I asked, capturing her gaze with mine where she sat on the closed lid of the john.

  Her lips thinned and she shook her head, remaining resolutely mute on the subject.

  “Okay, that’s cool with me. We don’t have to talk about it or anything at all, really.”

  “You must think I’m a total basket case,” she said with a sigh, putting her face in her hands.

  “No,” I answered truthfully, even though it hadn’t been asked. “I’m not sure what’s going on, and it’s not my place to judge,” I said with a shrug. “If I had to gue
ss, though, I’d say you’ve maybe been through some rough stuff?”

  She nodded, looking away, and said softly, “Yeah.”

  “You don’t have to tell me anything,” I said. “But if you want to talk or anything, I’m here.”

  She smiled and still wouldn’t really look at me which was fine. I think she was doing it for my modesty’s sake at this point.

  “I appreciate it,” she murmured.

  “Don’t mention it,” I said.

  The next morning, I woke in pain to my phone shrilling beside the bed. I answered it, groggy and the woman’s voice on the other end of the line was like being doused by a bucket of ice water.

  “So, did you just forget you had an appointment with me this morning, Mr. Anderson?”

  “Oh, oh, shit no. My phone got broken and the reminder didn’t transfer over,” I answered honestly. “I’m like two blocks away.”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “No, really, I am. Dumb luck that part but it’s the God’s honest truth, Kim. I’m right around the corner and I’ll piss test, I’ll do whatever you want. Just please—”

  “You have ten minutes, Caleb. Get here,” she said curtly, and the line went dead in my ear.

  “Fuck,” I muttered.

  “What is it?” Raven asked thickly from beside me.

  “Fucking parole officer. The office is around the corner. I have ten minutes. I’ve gotta get there.”

  I groaned and sat up, struggling. Raven sat up too.

  “Parole?” she echoed faintly.

  “Yeah,” I said unhappily. We’d talked a lot, late into the night. She knew I’d been locked up but I hadn’t mentioned the whole parole thing. “Can you help me get there?” I asked.

  “I can get you close, but—”

  “No, that’s great. I don’t need you to go in with me.”

  “I just… I just don’t have a – you know what? Never mind. I like you. I don’t want you to be in trouble. You probably shouldn’t be seen with me,” she said softly, and she got up and started getting dressed. I pulled my boots on under my straight-legged sweats.

  “That’s a fucked-up thing to say,” I said, coughing and crying out with pain.

  “It’s the truth, I won’t get into it now… just, come on. We should hurry.”

  She ducked under my arm and helped me up and into my jacket. I left my cut. She shrugged into her coat and resumed her position as my crutch, and we went swiftly. It was raining outside and cold. The chill burned my lungs at first and I fought not to cough. It hurt, every step a grinding painful ache.

  Kim, my parole officer, was waiting outside the Washington State Parole Board’s storefront office. Good ol’ Rat fucking City, I thought. There was bail bonds on the corner, fucking parole and probation office in the middle of the street, right next to a King County Sherriff’s satellite and community policing office. Guess that tells you what kind of area we were in if nothing else.

  “You look like hell,” Kim remarked dryly, her arms crossed over her chest. She wore her uniform of khaki tactical pants, blue polo with stitched on badge, and blue and yellow windbreaker marked Parole Board. “You know, staying out of fights was a condition of your parole, Caleb.”

  “It wasn’t a fight,” Raven said before I had the chance to speak.

  “She’s right, it was a straight-up ass kicking.”

  “He got his ass handed to him defending me from some jerks in my bar. He was minding his own business. Honest. You… you can look me up,” she said. “I have a clean record. You can see for yourself. I’m not lying.”

  “Both of you, inside now. We’ll sort it out at my desk.”

  Raven looked fucking scared when I glanced at her in wonder but she nodded without looking at either of us. We followed Kim to her cubicle where she pulled a chair up opposite her desk to match the one already there. Raven lowered me into the first seat and took the one beside mine.

  “See some ID?” Kim asked and Raven produced hers and handed it over.

  “Tanis McGowan,” she muttered, and she put her fingers to keys.

  I watched Kim’s eyes bounce back and forth behind her blocky glasses as she read what was on her screen and then she paused, sitting back a little as Raven shifted nervously in her seat.

  Kim fixed her with what could only be described as a sympathetic look.

  “He works out of this office sometimes,” she said softly. “But not today. You can relax.”

  Raven looked up sharply and her eyes welled up, but she didn’t cry. All she did was nod.

  “No way you’re lying,” Kim said, handing back her ID.

  She fixed me with a look and said, “Okay, tell me what happened.”

  I cringed a bit and said, “Honestly, I was drunk as fuck and don’t remember most of it. I was at the bar, Raven – I mean Tanis here was all friendly like and cutting me off and the next thing I know, I’m being stomped into the barroom floor and then the next flash I have after that? I’m being stomped some more into the pavement outside.”

  “Okay.” Kim nodded, running a hand back through her short, iron-gray hair. “Your turn. Fill in the blanks.” She looked at Tanis.

  “I work the bar at Shoreman’s a few blocks over. Mace was having some drinks. Quiet, minding his own business, when these four frat assholes came in and started harassing me. Mace told them to knock it off and leave me alone. He never left his bar stool, just kept telling them to stop. One of them broke a pool cue over him and all four of them jumped him. It was four on one… um…” This is the part where she embellished the story. “Our cook came out of the kitchen as Mace tried to get away from them, going outside. Our cook is a big guy. I threatened to call the cops and they split. I did my best to take care of Mace for standing up for me.”

  “Uh-huh,” Kim was typing into her computer and she looked back at me. “I’m not putting any of this in. No need to jam you up for doing the right thing here.” She sighed. “I’m putting you down as having been late due to some honest car trouble and that you did make it, and everything is good – like it has been every visit since you got out.” She leaned back. “Still working the goat farm?”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “How many days you been here in White Center.”

  “Three. My employer absolutely knows about it. You can call them. I have the sick leave.”

  Kim nodded. “We’re all good here,” she said and she turned her attention to Raven.

  “Thanks for bringing him in, Ms. McGowan. I’m sorry that happened to you. I know all about Max.” Kim shook her head. “You guys go on and get out of here. I’ll see you in two weeks.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” She scribbled a date and time on a reminder card and handed it to me.

  “Stay out of trouble, Mr. Anderson.”

  “Absolutely.”

  “Sure you shouldn’t be telling me that?” Raven joked, but it held the flavor of self-deprecation.

  “This kind of trouble isn’t the kind of trouble we can avoid,” Kim said in a moment of what was clearly women’s solidarity.

  The mystery deepens, I thought, looking at Raven beside me who wouldn’t look at me. She got up and helped me up.

  “Until next time,” Kim said with a nod. She was a hard lady. Tough, but fair. I could appreciate that about her.

  “Yes, ma’am,” I said and let Raven help me out.

  The walk back to her place was slower and silent. She was somewhere else. Pensive, a million miles away.

  “I have to go to work,” she said when she helped me to settle on her couch.

  “We going to talk about it?” I asked.

  She still wouldn’t look at me, and she shook her head.

  “Okay,” I said gently, and I let her do her thing – shower, get dressed, get ready.

  She made me a couple of sandwiches before she went out the door.

  “I’ll see you when I get home,” she said softly before leaving. She locked the line of dead bolts and the knob lock behind her.


  I had a feeling when I found out whoever Max was, we were going to have a come to Jesus meeting.

  6

  Raven…

  Caleb Anderson… He didn’t look like a Caleb or a Mr. Anderson. I mean, he just didn’t. I guess I expected him to have a last name that was like Mason or something.

  Just where did the nickname Mace come from, anyway?

  “Yo, Raven. You good?”

  I pulled myself out of my reverie and looked down the bar at one of my barfly regulars, a retired old longshoreman by the name of Whitey.

  “Yeah, Whitey. I’m good. Need a refill?” I asked.

  “If you don’t mind, honey.”

  “That’s my job, babes,” I shot back and came down the bar to pull him a fresh beer, taking his old glass and putting it in the washer.

  I did a lot of daydreaming on that shift, and it went by surprisingly fast. Still, I was bursting with questions for Mace, but at the same time, cringing inwardly, knowing that he had so many to ask in return. Imagine my surprise when I stepped out of the bar and Sauley, their club’s prospect was standing there.

  “Oh, hi. Is Mace okay?” I asked.

  “Yeah, yeah! He’s good. He just sent me to walk you home,” he said nervously.

  I kind of froze. “Um, what?”

  “Uh, I’m here to walk you home?”

  I laughed a bit unevenly, not really sure what to make of this.

  “You came all the way over here at three in the morning just to walk me two-and-a-half blocks because Mace told you to?” I asked. It was more than a little far out to even consider it.

  Sauley grinned. “I’m the club’s prospect, which means I’m pretty much their errand boy to utilize however they see fit until I prove myself.” His chest puffed out in a bit of pride and I nodded slowly.

  “So that’s how it works,” I said, and he nodded.

  “Don’t tell anyone I told you so, but it’s a pain in the fucking ass.”

  He laughed and I nodded and said, “Hazing usually is.”

  “So, let a lowly prospect walk you home?” He stuck out his arm with a cheeky grin and I couldn’t help but smile a little more.

  “Mace really sent you?” I asked.

  “Wanna see the text?” he asked.