Low Sided

by A. J. Downey

  “Actually, I kinda do,” I answered, blushing.

  “K, but don’t rat me out.”

  “Wouldn’t dream of it,” I said honestly.

  He pulled up the text exchange on his phone and I read it.

  Mace: Hey, Sauley. Get on over to Shoreman’s before last call and wait on Raven. Walk her home.

  Sauley: Everything okay?

  Mace: Just do what I fuckin’ tell you and yeah, everything’s fine. I just worry about her.

  I felt a warm glow at the words on the screen and I smiled and handed the phone back.

  “Thanks,” I murmured, and he shrugged one shoulder.

  “I live to serve, plus, it isn’t exactly a hardship walking a pretty girl a few blocks.”

  I laughed and asked, “Laying it on a bit thick, aren’t you?”

  He shook his head, his look stone-cold sober as he said, “Not at all.”

  I turned my head and smiled, embarrassed, or flattered, or whatever. I couldn’t really identify the name of the emotion. It was uncomfortable and yet not in a bad way at all. He winged out his arm and I looped mine through it cautiously.

  “Lead the way, m’lady,” he said. I nodded and we set off at an easy stroll.

  Rat City never really slept. At least not completely. There was distant rap music and the thump and bump coming from cars with rims that cost more than the vehicle itself as they cruised up and down the streets – gangs patrolling their territory. It was a sketchy neighborhood on a good day and there weren’t many good days around here despite the efforts made and the creeping gentrification that was slowly taking hold.

  Soon this neighborhood would be like Georgetown, or South Park, only perhaps trendier considering it had much more storefront space at its core than either of the aforementioned neighborhoods. The only thing keeping the boutiques out right now was the high potential for their front windows to be shot out or for the place to be robbed in its first week.

  “You did a really good thing for Mace,” Sauley said about a half a block into our walk.

  “Yeah, I know,” I murmured, nodding.

  “You didn’t have to. You could have just let his ass get beat.”

  I chuckled mirthlessly and shook my head. “No, I couldn’t have. It’s not my nature,” I said.

  “That makes you a really good person.”

  “I don’t know,” I said honestly. “I’d like to think I did what anyone else would have done.”

  “They wouldn’t,” he said with conviction and I paused in my step.

  “What makes you say that?” I asked.

  “You know why a lot of us guys turn our back on the world and join the club like we do?” he asked. I froze up as a Seattle Police Department cruiser glided by, going up Roxbury. The black-and-white SUV shiny, polished, and new.

  I shook my head, letting out a breath I hadn’t known I’d been holding as it continued by without stopping.

  “Because the world turned its back on us first. People judge and judge harshly. I feel like the internet has just made that shit worse, but at the end of the day? Man.” He raked a hand back through his hair. “No.” He pursed his lips and shook his head. “People like you who treat us like we’re human and not garbage? You’re few and far between and I for one appreciate that about you. Mace is alive because of you. We all know it. Eulogy even said so. You did us a huge favor.”

  “Uh… um, you’re welcome,” I said, for lack of anything better. He met my eyes, his expression solemn and nodded.

  We continued walking, and it wasn’t lost on me that Sauley made certain he was between me and the street. He was taking his duty very seriously.

  When I stuck my key in the lock back at my apartment, Sauley remained at my side like some sort of loyal guard dog. The locks started to click and flip from the other side as Mace undid them. When he opened the door, he looked me over first, then said, “Good job, Prospect. You can go.”

  “Sure thing, night Raven.” Sauley gave a half wave and stuffing his hands in his jean’s pockets strolled down the hall and went down the stairs.

  “Night!” I called after him and turned back to Mace who was smiling at me warmly.

  “You didn’t have to send him to walk me home,” I declared. “I’ve been doing it for a long time before all this.”

  “No, I know. You can take care of yourself,” he said, standing aside so I could slip into my place.

  I moved past him, lifting my messenger bag over my head and setting it on the floor by the door as he shut it, and threw all the locks and bolts behind me.

  It occurred to me, that although tired, I was comfortable around Mace. With the days going by and his movements becoming better and his pain diminishing, that comfort level wasn’t diminishing at all as he regained his strength.

  That was… curious.

  “How you doing?” he asked me, backing off and giving me some room to breathe.

  “Tired,” I said truthfully. “Just want a cup of hot tea to warm up, and bed.”

  “Sit down,” he said. “Let me figure this whole tea thing out. I think I can manage.”

  I smiled and chuckled lightly and touched his arm softly on my way past to the kitchen.

  “You’re supposed to be resting,” I chided.

  “I’m restless. Can’t help myself,” he said.

  “Mm, not used to being sedentary, huh?”

  “Nope. Not at all. You?”

  I shook my head. “I like to keep busy,” I said as I filled the kettle.

  He switched on the stove for me as I turned with the kettle in hand. I smiled and set it on the burner.

  “Seriously,” he said when I sighed. “Go sit down. Let me do something nice for you.”

  I eyed him and haltingly nodded.

  “Okay,” I murmured, and I edged past him to go sit down.

  “Feel like watching something?” he asked.

  “Mm, no.” I shook my head and smiled to myself, knowing he couldn’t see either from inside the kitchen.

  “Just tea and sleep, huh?”

  “Pretty much. I lead a boring life, what can I say?”

  “I don’t know if I would go that far. Seems pretty interesting to me.”

  “How do you figure?” I asked softly and looked up and over from my seat on the end of the couch to where he leaned in the kitchen doorway.

  “You helped me,” he said softly. “Not just once, but several times now.”

  I smiled and said, “I just don’t know any other way to be, Mace. I’m just me…”

  “I like you,” he said and lightly punched the archway into the kitchen, biting his battered bottom lip and looking so unsure of himself. “It’s easy to talk to you and… I don’t know. I don’t want to say I’m glad I got the shit kicked out of me, but I can’t say it wasn’t worth it since it brought you into my life. I mean, more than just some passing banter in your bar. I guess what I’m trying to say is, I’d like to get to know you better, Raven. That is, if you’re up for it.”

  I smiled and dropped my gaze to my hands in my lap, unsure what to say. I mean, I’d been up early and just worked a double, and I knew he was getting better and that he would have to leave but… I wasn’t sure I was ready for him to go. Not yet.

  “I guess I sort of figured you’d get better and leave and that would be it,” I confessed. I cleared my throat and swept my wig off my head and tossed it up on the back of the couch.

  “Is that what you want?” he asked and sounded as unsure as I felt.

  “I don’t, no,” I confessed, and it was hard to meet his eyes, but I made myself do it anyway. “I feel safe with you around. Is that crazy?”

  He smiled and laughed a little and the accompanying wince wasn’t as pronounced this time. “Depends on who you ask,” he replied honestly. “One of my boys? No, it’s not crazy at all. Your average citizen? They’d probably call you certifiable.”

  “Yeah, well, you’re a wolf in wolf’s clothing. It’s the wolf in sheep’s clothing you’
ve got to watch for.”

  “I know that’s right,” he agreed.

  “I’d like to see you again,” I murmured. “When you’re better.”

  He smiled, and it was almost enough to reopen the split in his bottom lip.

  “I was hoping you’d say that,” he said and ducked back into the kitchen to make my tea.

  “Two teaspoons of dried tea in the pot, add hot water, if you want it like I make it, add a half teaspoon of the raw sugar to the cup before you pour,” I told him.

  “Thanks,” he said, and I could hear the smile in his voice. “I was gonna ask.”

  “I thought you might,” I told him with a laugh, knowing he had no idea how I made my tea.

  He brought two cups, balanced on saucers, around the corner and lowered one to my raised and waiting hands. I lowered the offering to the top of my leg and wrapped my hands around the cup, sighing in relief as the warmth radiated through the porcelain and into my chilly hands.

  “Cold out there?” he asked.

  “Very,” I answered, sipping carefully. He lowered himself onto the couch next to me.

  “Should have gotten in a hot shower.”

  I shook my head. “In the morning. My hair will never dry all the way and will turn into a hot mess if I try to sleep on it wet.”

  “Ah. I volunteer as tribute,” he said carefully. “Feel free to warm frozen appendages against me.”

  I laughed. “Are you sure you’re from this planet?” I asked.

  He grinned and said, “Nah, what was that old book or plan thing or whatever? Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus?”

  “Never heard of it,” I said with a shake of my head.

  “Oh, ouch.” He put a hand to his chest and made a face. “Makes me feel old or some shit.”

  “Ha,” I muttered. I did not picture Mace as old, even if he was older than me by some; how much, I couldn’t tell. It seemed rude to ask.

  “Go ahead,” he said.

  “What?” I asked and raised my eyebrows.

  “Ask.”

  “Ask what?” I asked.

  “Whatever you were just thinking – I’m open. Ask me anything.”

  “Anything?” I perked up a bit.

  “Anything,” he said, and his grin was slow and sweet with just the slightest hint of spice.

  “Why are you called Mace?”

  He laughed and held his ribs when he did it and asked, “Out of all the things you wanna know, that’s it?”

  “I didn’t realize I was limited to one question,” I said with a lazy grin.

  “Ahhh, I can be tricky. Okay, alright; why am I called Mace? Well, now that’s a story…”

  He sighed out and bowed his head and looked up at me without raising it. He asked, “You’re sure that’s what you want to know?”

  My smile grew, and I nodded. “Oh yeah.”

  He groaned, huffed out a breath, and said, “This is going to make me sound like such an asshole… Okay, so this was back right before I patched into the club. I was still a prospect, but like the same weekend I earned my colors, so I was on the tail end of it, right?”

  “Sure,” I said nodding, sipping my tea and smiling behind the rim of my cup. I liked his voice. It was velvety and smooth, rich and decadent all at the same time. I could honestly listen to him talk for hours if he would let me.

  “So, the guys had been up my ass, like more than usual. Of course, when you get your colors, you don’t know it’s gonna happen. All those decisions are made behind closed doors. So, I’d been tasked with pretty much all manner of petty-ass fucking bullshit for days and one of those tasks was to walk the ol’ lady of the then VP from the strip club she worked at to the bar the boys – including her ol’ man – were at.”

  “Okay.” I nodded my understanding and curled up in the corner of my couch comfortably.

  “Right, so we’re halfway down the block from the bar and the guys and the VP are all sitting out front in this little gated off patio area. It’s summertime, and it’s warm for around here. We’re almost there and this homeless dude starts hassling my VP’s ol’ lady for money and I tell him to fuck off. This dude, he gets all belligerent and my VP is getting pissed. I’m shaking my head and telling this guy to fuck off and he opens up his mouth to really start screaming at me… and that’s when I pulled the cannister of pepper spray out of my pocket and hosed that motherfucker right down his throat.”

  I started laughing and I couldn’t stop. The look on his face must have been the look on that guy’s face and oh! Oh, my, it was priceless.

  Mace shrugged and said, “The name stuck. I’ve been ‘Mace’ ever since.”

  I wiped a tear from the corner of my eye and nodded. “See, that was every bit as worth it as I thought it would be.”

  “Yeah?” he asked and smiled.

  “Yeah.” I nodded. “I needed that laugh.”

  “What about you?” he asked.

  “Raven?” I asked. He nodded. I shrugged.

  “I’ve always liked them. I got the tattoo,” I rounded my shoulder at him, “and like you, it stuck. Some of the other burners started calling me Raven and I’ve been Raven ever since.”

  I smiled fondly at some of those memories, but just as swiftly as the smile touched my lips, it turned brittle with what came after… with what happened after that.

  “See, now there,” he said, and I looked up from the dregs of my teacup.

  “What?” I asked.

  “Whatever, or should I say whoever just wiped that smile off your face.”

  I bit my lips together and didn’t say anything.

  “Whoever he is, he’ll find his come to Jesus. They always do,” he said gently.

  I swallowed and nodded.

  “Someday,” I murmured. “Hopefully.”

  “You hungry?” he asked, and I shook my head. “Warm enough, now?” I smiled slightly and shook my head again and he smiled. “You’re definitely tired, though.” There was no question about that, and I didn’t even try to deny it.

  “Come on,” he said. “Let’s get you to bed and get you warm.”

  I felt a little guilty, but there was honestly nothing to be guilty about. The comfort Mace offered was freely given and I could tell, there was no expectation of anything in return. Anything sexual… and to be honest, I missed the simple contact of being held through the night, which is what had led me to that dating app in the first place.

  He got up, wincing and moving a little slow, but I could already tell he was doing better, and our time was growing short. I went into the corner of my room and unlaced and toed off my boots.

  I appreciated he kept his things neatly folded in another corner; that he wasn’t a slob. All of my clothes that I owned hung in the closet. I had a few baskets in the bottom for socks and underwear, but the rest I hung on whatever hangars I managed to rustle up from the dollar store on fifteenth.

  Mace lowered himself in his sweats and tee to the bed with a grunt and got in while I slipped out of my clothes to my sports bra and underwear. I stuffed my dirty things in the top of an old army duffel. I got it from a surplus store back when I had more money. Those days were long gone, though.

  “Come, get in here,” Mace complained. “You’re freezing.”

  It was true, the winters here were typically mild, but we were well into it and the clothes I had were the clothes I had and were honestly more suited to the summertime. I was a sun worshipper at heart, and he honestly didn’t have to tell me twice. I pulled the deep tan, boatneck loose-knit sweater over my head. You could honestly see right through but still it was better than nothing. It was soft and fell around me to the hip and I moved my skinny ass to get under the covers. Mace carefully pulled me into his side and said, “There you go.”

  I smiled and laid my head on his shoulder carefully, his warmth divine.

  “Your landlord should be fuckin’ shot,” Mace said, and I chuckled.

  “He’s the owner of this building and the building that Shore
man’s is in. I rent under the table. This place isn’t up to code or suited for habitation. He doesn’t tell and I don’t tell.”

  Mace snorted. “Fucking vulture.”

  “Eh, it works,” I murmured. “And it’s what I can afford.”

  He sighed and pressed his lips to my hair. I got the distinct impression he was breathing me in but surprisingly, I didn’t mind. I didn’t find it creepy coming from him. I found it… I don’t know the right word, but it was good. The sensation of his gentle attention leaving a silvery glow in its wake.

  I closed my eyes and sort of relished the comfort. It’d been a long time. I’d always been weak for a good snuggle and he was so very good at it.

  “Get some sleep,” he whispered when I’d been quiet too long and had begun to stir out of a sort of restless feeling that I should be keeping the conversation going or something. Instead, he held me just a little tighter, and I drifted off faster than I had in a while, sound asleep in the hushed quiet of the deepest morning.

  7

  Mace…

  “Hey, Kim. You gotta minute?”

  My parole officer looked up from where she was about to light her cigarette, the slim white paper-wrapped tobacco stick bobbing between her lips as she asked, “Not supposed to see you for another couple of weeks, Caleb. What can I do for you?”

  “It’s not about me,” I said, leaning gingerly back against the wall she was leaning against. She offered me a cig, and I waved her off.

  “Quit when I was locked up,” I said.

  “That’s what I like about you,” she said with a smile around her cig as she took the time to flick her Bic and light it. She took a long drag, held it, and plucking the cig from between her lips said, breath held, “You took your time inside to actually better yourself.” She blew out a plume of smoke that caught in the breeze and came my way. I seriously wondered how I could have ever smoked those things.

  “So, to what do I owe this pleasure?” she asked and took another drag.

  “The girl I was with yesterday… something happened to her, yeah? Something that showed up on your screen?”

  Kim raised her dark eyebrows and nodded as she took a third hit off her cigarette and plucking it from between her lips exhaled, she said, “Yeah. You didn’t talk about it?”