Bourbon & Chai: A Slow Burn Forbidden Romance Novel, Set in Philadelphia.

by Leah Kay

  “What if my answer is a no?” Isha asks, stepping out of the coffee shop.

  That stings a little. “Then I will tour Ireland all by my lone self. Some cute Irish girl might take pity on me and join me…”

  Her smile picks up a little more strength appreciating his lighthearted banter.

  Leaving the coffee shop, Nathan leans in for a hug and whispers, “Be Mine?”

  Holding him a tad longer than usual she replies, “I adore you,” and takes off without looking back.

  Chapter 16

  New Year, New plans

  The day after Christmas, Nathan drives his family to Point Loma to see Sarah’s parents. Retired from working at a bank, John Powell looks relaxed sitting on the balcony at their newly purchased beachfront condo. As Nathan pulls into the driveway, Lily exits the car and hurries to her granddad to give him a hug. A man once known to rain terror on anyone has softened except for his thick, well-groomed silver white mustache, which still continues to elicit a sense of authority. Nathan was incredibly nervous around Sarah’s dad when he first met him. Sarah, being the only child, is his most prized possession, and no one was ever good enough for her, let alone a young man who got her pregnant out of wedlock. Over the years, Nathan and John started seeing eye to eye on many things, but Nathan has a lingering feeling that John still regrets Sarah marrying him. Sarah’s mom, Paula, on the other hand, is saintly. She welcomed Nathan into the family with open arms and stood by them as they started their life together at a young age. Irrespective of their relationship or lack thereof with Nathan at times, Lily has been the apple of both their eyes.

  During their car ride earlier, Nathan learned that Sarah hasn’t shared with her parents that he is now living in Philadelphia at her request or about their impending divorce. He finds this quintessential trait of Sarah exasperating. To him, rising up to the trials in life and facing them bravely defines being an adult, except Sarah has mastered the art of quietly disappearing in the face of an adversity of any magnitude. As a result, she has pleaded with him to share the bedroom with her for the next couple of days so as not to raise any questions. Reluctant to get into this mess with Sarah in front of Lily, Nathan accommodates her request and attempts to hide his annoyance with great difficulty. After the customary hellos to his in-laws, Nathan unpacks in the same room as Sarah. Feeling restless with the energy in the house, he excuses himself to go for a run on the beach. Once on the beach, he tries to reach the one person who could bring him solace. Except she has asked for time to think things through and he chooses to respect that. Taking in the waves, he breathes in the salt air restoring some peace of mind. He promises himself that if he ever gets a chance with Isha, he will guard their relationship with his life. Deep down, he believes that she deserves the world and is eagerly waiting for her to give him a chance.

  After jogging for a few miles along the coastline, Nathan walks back to the house to join the rest of the family. When he steps into the living room, he can sense something has transpired in his absence. Sarah’s dad is fuming at the sight of Nathan, and Nathan notices a distressed Lily on the couch with her eyelids swollen.

  He hurries to Lily’s side. “Are you okay?” He takes a seat next to her. Sarah and her mom exchange worried glances with each other. Lily continues to look down without saying a word. Nathan is starting to lose his patience trying to understand what happened while he was gone.

  “She is not okay,” John states in his familiar authoritative tone.

  “Can one of you tell me what happened?” Nathan looks around the room.

  “I told her she cannot go to school in Philadelphia,” John says sternly.

  Putting aside why that topic even came up, Nathan comes to Lily’s defense. “And why would you say that to her?”

  “You have ruined Sarah’s life. I will not let you do the same to Lily.” There it is. Nathan’s lingering hunch that John was never in favor of his marriage to his daughter isn’t a hunch anymore.

  “Do not drag Lily into this, John. Please.” Nathan tries to shield Lily from John’s anger.

  “Why not? She needs to know. Just because you prefer to run away from your responsibilities and travel around the world in the name of work doesn’t mean you can ship your daughter away to Philadelphia and not be obligated to take care of her.” John digs into Nathan.

  Lily stares at her mother in shock for not coming to her dad’s defense.

  “If I hadn’t let my daughter go to USC and kept her close to me, she wouldn’t have met you, and this wouldn’t have been her fate, getting her pregnant and then forcing her to stay home so you could grow in your career, you selfish son of a bitch. You had the best woman in your life, and you ruthlessly destroyed her life. What is worse, you show no remorse, treating your daughter the same way.”

  Nathan feels compelled to tell him off and never come back. But he chooses to stand in John’s line of sight, allowing his criticism to cut through him like a sword because of Lily. Leaving now will force Lily to choose, and Nathan has no intentions of making this worse for her.

  “Let me make this very clear. My granddaughter will stay in San Diego, and I will be the role model she needs. If you don’t know how to take care of the good people in your life, you sure as hell do not deserve them.” John storms out.

  As soon as he leaves, Lily holds her dad and bawls. He takes her into his arms. “He is just a cranky old man, don’t cry Lily.” Nathan tries to cheer her up as John’s words cement around his heart, rendering it motionless. Insecurities tend to possess a certain mysterious power to them. The moment you believe you have overcome your deepest doubts, they blindside you, bringing you to your knees, and snicker at your feeble attempts to fight them. Sarah and her mom’s apologetic expressions towards Nathan are met with ambivalence as he takes Lily out for a drive to get some fresh air. Sitting behind the wheel, John’s words echo loudly in his head. “You had the best woman in your life, and you ruthlessly destroyed her life…” and Isha’s smiling face flashes in front of him.

  A New Year breezes in with an optimistic flair towards new beginnings and possibilities filled with a promise of a brighter tomorrow. Resolutions of all shapes and sizes are push-pinned in plain sight filling us with hope to fulfill our dreams. As farfetched as it may seem that a change in a calendar date could hold the cosmic power of this magnitude, this New Year indeed holds the potential to transform Isha’s life.

  The trip to Ireland is a week away, and she has been mentally preparing herself for her talk with Nathan about their future together. Over the course of the past few months, she has contemplated moving to another company, taking a vow of silence with Nathan, starting a family with Liam, quitting her job and much more to sever the string that attaches her to Nathan. Except all her mediocre plans turned out to be futile, pulling her closer to him. She realizes that the only solution is to walk away and safeguard her marriage but she cannot imagine saying goodbye to Nathan, the very thought of it sends her rushing into a panic mode. An endless loop of unrelenting thoughts between her ears has kept Isha awake most nights, leaving her feeling restless. She hasn’t seen him over the holidays and their communication has been limited to minimal texts at her request. Walking into the gym this morning, she hopes that the sight of Nathan will momentarily mute her misery and help her make a decision once and for all.

  Giving Claire a quick hug, Isha dons her gloves before starting the kickboxing class. She consciously chooses to leave Claire out of her decision about Nathan, partly because she believes this is something she needs to sort out on her own and partly due to the fear of letting Claire down. If possible, Isha would prefer to go through this with minimal external influences that could inadvertently sway her in the wrong direction. By the end of the class, she is bummed that Nathan couldn’t join them. She checks her phone on the way to her desk and is surprised to see no messages from him. She can’t seem to squash a growing concern about his st
ake in their relationship. He has seemed distant in the past few days, spurring doubts in Isha’s mind.

  Blaming the distance for her groundless reservations, she logs into her computer to catch up with her emails and notices an important message from the CEO of Genex earlier in the day.

  “Fellow Genex employees,

  Last night, at approximately 6:00 p.m., an explosion occurred on the manufacturing floor at our San Diego site. Currently, there are no reported casualties, and the heroic efforts of the Carlsbad Fire Department have significantly controlled the spread of the fire. Although no product has been lost, several critical manufacturing areas have been severely impacted by this explosion. We are planning to leverage the manufacturing capacity at our other sites around the world while we make every single effort to bring back the San Diego site to normal execution. While we work diligently to understand the root cause of this incident, the safety of our employees will remain our ultimate priority, and we will stand together to ensure patient supply.”

  Isha’s heart sinks to her stomach reading the latest news. Her mind immediately shifts to Nathan, automatically assuming the worst-case scenario in which he could be hurt. Taking her phone out from her bag she texts, “Is everything okay?”

  Waiting for his reply, Isha’s mind starts to race at lightning speed. Nathan was supposed to have flown back from San Diego last night. When she didn’t hear from him, she assumed he must have been tired. But after learning the latest news, she speculates if he was at the site during the explosion. Although her rational side knows that Nathan has no reason to be on site at that hour, her paranoia insists that he is hurt. A minor panic sets in at thought of losing him and Isha calls him and gets his voicemail. With her heartbeat picking up pace, she wonders if there are any unreported causalities. She googles the explosion and refreshes the page every minute to see if there is any news about any causalities. Still finding no comfort whatsoever, she looks up his flight from last night to see if it was cancelled or delayed for any reason. After a quick lookup, she learns that his flight from San Diego took off as expected and landed last night in Philadelphia. Unable to bear the thought of losing him, she calls Lily to see if she knows where Nathan is. It goes straight to her voicemail and Isha disconnects feeling foolish about leaving a frantic voicemail on a teenager’s phone. Holding her head between her knees, she takes a few deep breaths to get a hold of herself. Claire looks over and is concerned seeing Isha so stressed. Stepping into her office, she places a hand on her back. “Are you okay?”

  Isha looks up anxiously. “Nathan isn’t answering his phone. I don’t know where he is. I am afraid something has happened to him.” She places a hand on her chest to help her breathe.

  Claire now joins her fear, “I thought there were no casualties?”

  “No reported causalities…” Isha says dejectedly.

  “Let me find out if anyone has heard from him…” Claire tries to help.

  Isha nods politely and excuses herself to use the restroom. A lonely tear trails her cheek releasing her anxiety. She has been planning ways to get away from him all this time, but the thought of actually never seeing him again crushes her. She reminisces about their interactions and is hit by a strange sense of loss. Her reasonable side reminds her that her fears are unsubstantiated, but at this moment his voice is the only thing that can rescue her from her state of despair.

  Isha waits on pins and needles throughout the day waiting for any news on Nathan. Tired of struggling with the chaotic crisis brought on by the conflicting messages from her heart and mind, she calls it a day. Walking back home, she receives a text message from Nathan. “I am okay. Needed to stay back to support the site. I will call you in 15 minutes.”

  Relief falls over her as soon as she hears from him. Taking a deep breath and letting go of her laden nerves, she laughs walking through the crowded streets waiting for his call. True to Nathan’s personality, her phone rings in 15 minutes.

  Taking a seat at a bench, Isha asks anxiously, “Please tell me you are okay.”

  “I am okay. One of my friends texted me about the explosion as soon as they found out and I left the airport and went straight to the site. It has been a hectic day. I am sorry I didn’t get a chance to get in touch with you,” Nathan explains without taking a pause.

  Isha feels lighter listening to his voice. However, the distance between them is palpable.

  Dismissing her selfish needs temporarily, she tries to offer support. “I am glad you are okay. Let me know if I can help with anything.”

  “We should have a plan in the next twelve hours, and I will keep you posted.” His voice lacks its familiar warmth.

  Again, his nonchalance further fills the void between them. “Okay...” Isha pauses, wondering what to say next.

  Before she gets a chance to continue the conversation, Nathan responds in a hurry. “I have to go…”

  After a brief moment of silence, Isha replies. “I miss you, Old Man.”

  “We will talk soon,” and he hangs up.

  The tone of his voice turns her blood cold, slowing it down in its path as her heart struggles to keep a rhythmic beat. Her optimistic side is pleading with her not to read into the moment but give it time for things to settle down. However, a strong inner voice is preparing her for an impending heartbreak. Peeling herself off the bench, she drags herself home.

  Later in the week, Nathan’s team comes together in the conference room as scheduled for their weekly team meeting. Isha has neither spoken to him since their quick call nor received any text messages from him, and an unpleasant feeling sits heavy inside her. Ron enters the room minutes into the meeting and addresses the team.

  “Team, as you know, this has been a difficult week for all of us at Genex, especially our colleagues at San Diego. Nathan is a critical member of the site and has graciously volunteered to stay behind and lead the remediation efforts. During his absence, I will be overseeing the day-to-day operations of your group. Please continue with all business as usual, and if you need anything, please reach out to me. Any questions?” He looks around and notices anxious faces and patiently answers all their questions.

  Isha sits back in shock while Ron’s words play on repeat. “Volunteered to stay back.” The rest of the team bombard Ron with questions about whether this arrangement with Nathan supporting San Diego is temporary, whether he will be joining them to visit Ireland in a week, whether they will be expected to travel to San Diego to support remediation activities and many more. Unable to provide any concrete answers, Ron promises the team that he’ll inform them as he knows more and exits the room. No one in that room was prepared to kick off a brand-new year with this level of uncertainty, but having gone through layoffs last year has primed them to adversities to an extent. Picking up their notebooks, they slowly make their way back to their desks to get on with their day. Sinking into her chair, Isha puts on her earphones to tune out her internal warning signals. Since their phone call earlier in the week, Nathan has been acting aloof. She wishes he would talk to her instead of building a wall between them. Her emotions swing from concern to fear at the realization that it could be over between them and that leaves her heart throbbing in pain. A feeling that should be freeing her of her recently acquired burden fills her with sadness instead.

  After an excruciatingly long day at work, Nathan comes back home late in the night. Noticing that Lily and Sarah are fast asleep, he grabs a beer from the fridge and settles on the couch to some mindless television. Once the noise of the day has faded away, the silence haunts him, reminding him of Isha. Taking his phone out, he contemplates texting her and scratches that thought immediately. Since seeing Sarah’s parents, he has dug himself into a bottomless pit to a point of no return. The hope of a new beginning with Isha is disappearing into thin air. Deeply rooted doubts in his consciousness laugh at his naïve wish for another chance at happiness. Tenacious thoughts of fighting
for Isha feel like a cruel joke played by his foolish heart. Sitting in silence, it dawns on him that she deserves better, so much better than him. That fleeting realization is accompanied by a sense of calm numbing his relentless mind. It is in that moment of absolute stillness that his mind comes to peace as his heart shatters into pieces at the thought of letting her go.

  Isha spends the following week burying herself in work and preparing for the trip. Although all signs are pointing towards an end to their short-lived connection, Isha isn’t ready to sever all ties with Nathan until she has had a chance to talk to him in person. Her blind faith in their connection leads her to believe that things would be different if they saw each other. By the end of the week, she feels pretty confident with the preparation that went into the Ireland site visit. Despite Nathan’s absence, the team was able to divide the work between the three of them and they are feeling equipped to complete the last leg of the implementation journey. Claire and Isha agree to meet each other at the airport on Sunday before calling it a day on Friday. At home, Isha continues to conceal her state of despair by blaming the stress of the upcoming trip for her low spirits in front of Liam.

  On Saturday morning, Isha wakes up to a text message from Nathan. “Morning She-Hulk, I just flew into Philadelphia. I would love to see you. Any chance we could meet?”

  A veil of darkness is lifted from her mind reading his message. She breathes a sigh of relief seeing the words “She-Hulk.” Perhaps it is the feeling of loss she experienced in the past few weeks combined with the physical and emotional distance between them over the past few months, but things seem clearer to her all of sudden. His words cradle her to comfort, bringing her to the realization that she loves him. Leaping off the bed, she paces across her bedroom. I love him. Oh my God, I do love him. She stops in front of the mirror and smiles at her own reflection, feeling lighter for the first in a very long time. She wants to come clean to Liam and winces at the thought of breaking his heart. Before she can do that, she wants to see Nathan and share with him the words he has been waiting to hear. The agony she experienced last week reinforces her decision to make concrete steps towards their life together and she no longer wants to wait till Ireland. Together, she believes they can stand strong in the face of any repercussions and boldly take a step forward. She quickly realizes choosing Nathan will not only leave Liam obliterated but her relationship between her parents and his family will be irrevocably damaged as well. Regardless of the aftermath stemming from her decision, she unequivocally chooses Nathan.