The Ideal

by L. P. Maxa

  Savy was lying in her bed, asleep with soft lamplight across her pretty face. Her long dark lashes rested against her cheeks, she looked like fucking Sleeping Beauty. I went to her door, turning the lock in place to make sure her parents wouldn’t surprise us. Then I crossed the room, standing over her for a moment, drinking her in. When I couldn’t stand it any longer, I dipped down and placed a soft kiss to her lips.

  She smiled, her eyes slowly fluttering open. “Hey. I didn’t know if you’d come.” She scooted over, making room for me beside her in bed.

  I knew it was probably dangerous, I knew I’d have a hard time controlling myself, but I couldn’t turn her down. I wanted to lie next to her, I wanted to become part of her space and be surrounded by her scent. I wanted to erase every trace of my brother from her skin, from her room. As much as I tried to deny it, to fight it, I’d accidentally made Savy mine.

  There was no going back now.

  I stepped out of my shoes and pulled my shirt off, tossing it to the floor before climbing into bed next to the most beautiful girl in the world. “I’m sorry it took me so long.” I kissed the top of her head when she snuggled into my chest. “Nathan wouldn’t answer his phone and I didn’t know if he was still here.”

  She gazed up at me, her eyes sad, swimming with unshed tears and breaking my heart. “I think Nate wants to date me. He keeps trying to take me out to nice restaurants and hold my hand. There’s been more than once when I was afraid he was going to try to kiss me again.”

  I’d always known that Nathan had feelings for Savy, it was clear as day. When I decided to be Savy’s “hook-up” I figured if they weren’t dating by now, neither of them thought it was a good idea. A justification, for sure, the truth was, Nathan was in love with Savy, and the thought of losing her was making him hold on tighter than ever. I couldn’t blame him. Wasn’t that what I was doing as well?

  I swallowed past the lump in my throat. “Do you want to date him? Do you want Nathan?”

  I was terrified of her answer. Somehow over the last week, somehow between the attic to lying in her bed tonight, I’d messed up. I’d started to fall for her. I thought of her as mine, and I didn’t want to share anymore. Not with my brother or anyone else. But if Nathan was who Savy wanted, then I’d walk away and try to be happy for them.

  She pushed up on her elbow and leaned over me. “No. I don’t want to date Nate. I don’t want to kiss him or sleep next to him all night. It’s not Nate, it never has been.” Her gaze moved from mine down to my lips. “It never will be.”

  I held my breath waiting for her to take charge, waiting for her to make the first move this time.

  Thank god, she did.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Savy

  My heart was pounding as I dipped down and touched my lips to his. This was me taking what I wanted, initiating instead of waiting for something to happen to me. I wasn’t reacting, I was causing what would happen next. The thrill of being in charge, of having dominion over the guy I’d wanted since I was a kid, was an intoxicating kind of power. I put my hand on his cheek, kissing him deeply. I took a chance, biting his lower lip playfully and suddenly I was on my back with him towering over me.

  His eyes were dark, his breathing ragged. “You’re so fucking beautiful, Savy.”

  His words were soft, whispered across my lips, making my heart flutter in my chest. I never knew that this was what I’d been missing. I never knew how light a person could feel, how free while being tethered by wonderful emotions. The kind that made my blood bubble, not my stomach churn. Jeremy was showing me the whole world, and I wanted to chase this desire inside me to the ends of the earth.

  I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him down so I could kiss him again. His weight rested on top of me, his hips settled between mine. I could feel him, rigid against my core. I arched my back, grinding against him, testing out how it felt to seek my own pleasure. He groaned into my mouth, his tongue tangling with mine.

  I moved my hands down his sides, reveling in the feel of his warm flesh over hard muscle. I wanted to feel his skin on mine, his heat, I wanted to feel all of him. His eyes searched mine, silently asking for permission and waiting until I nodded before dragging my nightgown off my overheated body.

  “You call the shots, okay? You tell me when you’ve had enough.” Jeremy brushed my hair off my face, smiling as he spoke softly in the dark. “You say the word and I’ll kiss you good night and go home, no pressure.”

  I shook my head. “I don’t want you to go home.” I let my hand slide between our bodies, palming his length, surprised at my boldness. “I want you to stay with me all night.” I wasn’t sure how to voice what I wanted. I was almost afraid he’d tell me no, that he’d tell me I wasn’t ready. He’d already told me once that he wasn’t going to have sex with me, but things were different now, we were different. I wanted all of him and I was pretty sure he felt the same way.

  He closed his eyes, biting his bottom lip in a way that drove me crazy. “I need you to be clear about what you’re telling me, Savy.”

  I took a deep breath, my sensitive nipples rubbing against his chest. “I want you to be my first.”

  “Savy.” His eyes closed, his lungs expanding and pressing down on me. “That’s skipping a couple steps, baby.”

  That wasn’t a no. He didn’t immediately refuse, which meant he was no longer opposed to the idea. His answer gave me hope, made me confident enough to push for more. “We have a few weeks left, right? We could always back track.”

  “There’s no need to rush, we—”

  “I’m not rushing.” I took his face in my hands and he opened his eyes. “I know what I want, and I want you. Right now. In this all-consuming, can’t think straight, messy way. I want to be young and in lust. I don’t want to wait.”

  Jeremy took a deep breath, chill bumps breaking out across his flesh. I watched, waiting to see if he would give me what I wanted, what we both wanted. “I don’t deserve this from you.” His tone was soft, and his words were sweet.

  “It’s yours. It’s always belonged to you.” My first crush, my first everything. It felt right. It felt perfect.

  Slowly, he lifted his body off mine, shucked off his jeans, then reached inside his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. A moment later, he was kneeling between my legs, rolling a condom over his hard cock.

  He crawled back up my body, and started kissing his way to my lips, nibbling up my neck, and nipping at my earlobe before brushing his mouth across my cheek. My eyes were wide open, watching every move he made, not wanting to miss a thing. My fingers traced his face as he settled back between my thighs. The fear and excitement pulsing through my body made me shiver. He paused, pulling my covers up over his shoulders, cocooning us both. “You sure?”

  I nodded. My lip caught between my teeth.

  He bent down and nipped my collarbone before using his expert tongue on my nipples. I began writhing, the feeling was so exquisite. As he sucked a nipple into his mouth, he positioned himself at my entrance and began pushing inside me slowly.

  Everything about what we were doing was so foreign and for a brief moment my nerves got the better of me. He stopped, raised his head and began kissing me, spearing his tongue inside my mouth. When he felt me relax, he continued his gentle invasion, and slowly the sting faded and I shuddered, a moan escaping my lips as he started to carefully move inside me. The fullness wasn’t so odd anymore, it was welcome.

  I gripped his hips, my back arching without me thinking to do it. I wanted him inside me forever, I never wanted this to stop. I couldn’t go back to being so empty when being consumed by Jeremy made me feel so alive.

  “You okay?” he whispered against my ear, his hips thrusting slowly, his arms tense as he held himself above me.

  I nodded again. “Yes.” My words came out with a whimper. “I’m good. I’m really good.” I shifted beneath him, testing my rhythm with small movements until I was meeting his measured thrusts with my ow
n. “I’m good. I promise, please…uh, god, please don’t stop.”

  He kissed me again, pushing into me harder while catching my moans with his mouth. “Fuck, baby, you’ve got to be quieter.” He put his finger to my lips, a smirk on his face.

  I didn’t care that my parents were downstairs. Nothing in this world mattered more than what was happening between me and Jeremy in this moment. My body felt like a livewire, electricity shooting through every nerve ending I possessed. “Savy, fuck, you feel so good.”

  I moaned again, hiking my thighs higher on his hips. I could feel the heat building, my release about to consume me. I dug my nails into his arms, wanting more and not knowing how to form the words. He pulled back and slammed into me, making me cry out in pleasure. “Yeah. Oh, god. Please…don’t, oh, oh.” I was babbling incoherent fragments, but somehow he understood me.

  He chuckled, his sexy smirk still in place as he gently put his hand over my mouth before he slammed back into me again. I nodded, and he kept going, letting go of all the control he was harnessing to keep from hurting me.

  He moved inside me over and over, relentless until I cried his name against the palm of his hand. His whole body tensed as my orgasm stole all my senses.

  ***

  The sun was coming up, the dark purple sky slowing becoming pink. I’d spent the whole night wrapped in Jeremy’s arms. He’d been perfect, kind, and careful. Then he’d held me so tight. I knew that he needed to wake up, that he needed to get home before anyone noticed that he was missing. My parents would freak if they found us naked under my sheets. Although, they never batted an eye when Nate stayed over. I silently wondered if they’d be mad simply because it was Jeremy, or if they’d be mad because of the possible fallout that would ensue if Nate ever found out.

  Would they be worried for me, or would they be worried for themselves and for their friend, Jeremy and Nate’s mom? Not knowing the answer to my own questions pissed me off, but it didn’t change the fact that all hell would break loose if Jeremy didn’t get home soon.

  I turned to look at him, running my fingers through his hair. He was gorgeous. His dark looks weren’t broody, but sexy. He was about having fun, being easy-going, gobbling up life and enjoying the ride. He was everything his brother wasn’t. I closed my eyes, shoving thoughts of Nate to the farthest corners of my mind. I couldn’t think of him now, I wasn’t ready for the guilt to come creeping in trying to steal my joy. “Hey, Jeremy? It’s morning. It’s time for you to go.”

  He groaned, pulling my body closer to him. “I don’t wanna go.”

  “I don’t want you to go either.” I rolled to my side, biting my lips together when I felt him hard against my thigh. I knew I had to be blushing, which was so stupid after everything that happened last night. “Nate will be up soon, we’re supposed to run together.”

  It was the heat of summer, if we didn’t run with the sunrise, we wouldn’t be able to run at all. I sat up, holding my sheet to my chest. My comforter had somehow ended up on the floor, the thin sheet the only thing covering our still naked bodies. I looked down, my cheeks heating when I noticed the blood staining them. I started making a list of the things I needed to do in my head. Bleach my sheets was number one. Get on birth control would probably be a good number two, because I wanted a repeat of last night…several of them.

  “What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?” Jeremy sat up next to me, kissing my bare shoulder and sending chills racing down my exposed spine.

  I quickly grabbed the thicker blanket from the floor, trying to cover my bloody sheets. I didn’t know why I found it so embarrassing, but I did. “I, uh, I need to get cleaned up before—”

  “Hey.” Jeremy rested his palm softly on my cheek, making me look into his eyes. “Tell me how you’re feeling, please baby.”

  My breath shuttered at the adoration in his chocolate brown eyes. Jeremy was a good man, and I suddenly felt incredibly lucky that he was the guy I’d waited for. “I’m feeling bummed out that you have to go, I’m feeling nervous that Nate is going to take one look at me and know what I did last night. I’m feeling embarrassed that there is blood on my sheets, and I’m feeling thankful that it’s you who is here with me. I can’t imagine it being anyone else.”

  His bright smile warmed me to my core. “Leaving right now is the last thing I want to do.” He kissed my shoulder again, then moved to the column of my neck, and the corner of my mouth before pulling back. “I’d love nothing more than to stay in this bed with you for another few hours, wait for your parents to leave so I could hear you whisper my name as I make you come over and over again.” If I thought I was blushing before, it was nothing compared to the heat and desire Jeremy’s words had stirred in me. “As for your sheets, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about, baby.” He shook his head, his expression playful. “So you know, I’m feeling pretty fucking thankful that it was me too.”

  I rested my forehead against his, grinning as he trailed his fingertips down my back. “You should go.”

  I felt him nod. “On one condition.”

  “What’s that?” I pulled away, wondering if the smile on my face would ever dim.

  “Leave your window open again tonight?”

  I nodded as I watched Jeremy climb out of my bed and search the floor for his clothes.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Jeremy

  I climbed into my room through the window, careful not to make a sound and quickly crossed the hall to jump into the shower. I didn’t want to wash Savy off my body, there was something about her that made me feel a little primal. Possessive. I’d been with other girls, there was no denying that. But the moment I’d slid inside Savy last night, every other female on the planet ceased to exist. There was only her. She consumed me. Being her first, holding her while she slept. Waking up to her fingers in my hair. I loved every single second of it. All of it. I wanted to do it over and over again. I wanted to be next to her until the moment time ripped us apart.

  She wasn’t a fling. She wasn’t a project. Not anymore. Not after last night.

  “Yo, I’m running with Sav, she said it’d be rude not to invite you.” Nathan banged on the bathroom door, startling me, which caused soap to run into my eyes. “You in?”

  His tone told me he wanted me to be out, he wanted to run with Savy alone. He didn’t like to share her, and although I assured Savy that Nathan wouldn’t know, I was starting to wonder if maybe he would. I should stay home. I should give them time together without the pressure of having me there. I knew that, but I couldn’t stay away. I couldn’t pass up the chance to see her again. It’d been less than fifteen minutes since I left her bed, and it felt like fifteen hours.

  “Yeah, give me five and I’ll meet you guys out front.”

  I shut off the shower, dried off and dressed in record time. I felt light, giddy. The only person who had ever evoked these feelings was the beautiful blonde girl next door. I sighed, hanging my head as I stepped out the front door to see Nathan grinning at her as they stretched. Yeah, she made my brother feel all those things too, and it was written plain as day across his otherwise perpetually grimacing face.

  I was an asshole.

  Savy looked up, catching my eye, her bottom lip caught between her perfect teeth. My cock immediately stirred at the sight of her. Down dude. Now is not the time and she’s probably sore anyway. I joined them, stretching out my hamstrings, letting the music coming from the phone strapped to Savy’s arm fill the silence as we took off down the driveway and then to the left, taking the same route we’d taken the last few times we’d all run together.

  “Sav, you okay?” Nathan lengthened his stride, easily falling into step beside her. “You’re moving a little slow this morning.”

  Savy’s cheeks turned red and I had to chomp down on my cheeks to keep from smirking. It’s not that I liked that she was sore, that she was hurting a little, but the reminder of what we’d shared last night had me feeling…a lot of things. Smug, male, horny, guil
ty, proud. Possessive. All the emotions I never experienced after being with a girl. Savy was different in every possible way.

  “I’m fine, I uh, was doing yoga last night after you left and I uh, pulled something.” Savy licked her lips, glancing at me before turning her gaze back the pavement on the horizon.

  “Why were you doing yoga at midnight?” Nathan still looked concerned, maybe a little confused. All I could think about was the way Savy had felt in my arms, her soft panting breaths in my ear. Fuck. My running shorts were not going to hide my dick’s reaction to the memories of last night if I didn’t calm down.

  “I couldn’t sleep. Yoga’s supposed to be relaxing.” She picked up the pace, trying to put some distance between Nathan and her. “Like I said, I’m fine.”

  I wanted to tell him to leave her alone. I wanted to tell her to take it easy, that she didn’t have anything to prove to anyone. But I kept my mouth shut because doing either of those things would only result in more issues. Nathan wouldn’t take my advice when it came to his best friend, he had no reason to. My defending her to him would make him see red. Really, he was concerned and was only trying to make sure she was okay.

  He loved her. I knew that.

  We finished our run without saying another word. The only sound between the three of us was the soft music playing from Savy’s phone and the pounding of our shoes on the pavement. My thoughts were on last night, the hours I’d spent with Savy playing on a loop inside my brain. Once we rounded the final corner, bringing us back to our houses, Savy broke off from my brother and me.

  “I’m going to grab a shower.” She tossed up a little wave and didn’t wait for either of us to answer before pushing open her front door and disappearing from sight.