Secret Desires (Roughshod Rollers MC Book 4)

by Mia Ford

“Please,” she chants. “Give me more, Ethan, please…”

  I withdraw my hand and she moans piteously, her muscles tense. I push down the hem of her jeans, allowing them to drop down her smooth legs to the floor, and she kicks them away. Then I play with the elastic of her panties for a moment, teasing her as my fingers flick over the skin of her stomach, before pushing them down too.

  Then she’s naked before me, and I press against her, my clothes rubbing against her skin. I slide my hands down her back and over her backside, lifting her. Her legs automatically wind tightly around my waist, bringing us even closer together, and I gasp as she rubs against my hard cock, which is desperate to be free.

  “That feels so fucking good,” I groan.

  “It’ll feel better without your clothes,” Georgia hints.

  I pull away from the door and walk over the bed. Georgia’s mouth latches on my neck as I move, her teeth grazing the skin on my neck in a way that sets all my nerves on fire. One of my steps falters as she bites down, and I almost stumble when she sucks on the same spot that she had marked last week, the skin still sensitive from the treatment she gave it then. Her legs are locked tightly around my waist, and her skin is burning against me, even through my clothes.

  Georgia sucks again, pulling the skin past her teeth and biting lightly. I’ll see that mark in the mirror tomorrow, just like I did last week. When I saw it last time, it made me feel guilty and ashamed. But this time…I’m in this with a clear head, knowing what both Georgia and I want. Instead of something shameful, this mark is going to be a representation of the night we both wanted to spend together.

  So I drop Georgia on the bed, pulling her away from me and grab the hem of my shirt. I’m going to show her just how much I want her.

  Chapter Twenty

  Georgia

  I drop onto the bed, my skin still tingling from the feeling of Ethan’s jeans and cotton shirt rubbing against me. My breath catches at the dark, hungry look in his eyes as he stands there staring at me, taking in every inch of my body. I raise myself up, leaning on my elbows.

  “Are you going to stay dressed?” I challenge.

  Ethan grins. At first, when he tried to give excuses, I was afraid that he would push me away. But he’s surrendered completely to what’s happening between us, touching me just as enthusiastically as I touch him. It makes my heart thump loudly.

  This time, we’re not sleeping together because Ethan was desperate for comfort, or because he was drunk. No, this time it’s just about us and what we want. We’ve finally voiced our feelings, and told each other what we want. I thought it was amazing being able to have Ethan, if only briefly, before. But there’s an extra thrill in knowing that Ethan is touching me this time because he wants me.

  I don’t know what will happen when this ends. Part of me knows that I have some explaining to do for the way I jumped him. We’re also going to have to have a real talk about our feelings, and there’s a chance that Ethan might still try and run away from them, like he did before I pushed him against the door.

  But that’s not something to think about right now. At this moment, all I want is to feel every part of Ethan as he touches me and I take and give as much pleasure as I can.

  “Don’t look away, Georgia,” Ethan says.

  He reaches up and slowly, torturously slow, drags the zipper of his Roughshod Rollers jacket down. Bit by bit he reveals a tight-fitting white shirt underneath, and my mouth waters at the sight of how it clings to his abs, accentuating his smooth chest and the straight line of his waist. He rolls his shoulders, shrugging the jacket off and allowing it to drop heavily to the floor.

  Then he grips the hem of his shirt. He lifts it teasingly, spinning slowly, and I drink in the sight of each inch of skin as it’s revealed. His muscles flex as he drags his shirt slowly up, pulling it over his shoulders and head. His jeans are slung low on his hips, and I can see the bulge of his cock pressing against the seam. I want to reach out and touch, but this is Ethan’s show, now. I’ve already pushed him into starting this, so I want to give him the spotlight to do what he wants for now.

  “Like what you see?” Ethan smirks.

  I lick my lips slowly. His eyes follow my tongue.

  “Yes,” I breathe. “Take off the jeans next.”

  Ethan hooks his thumbs under the hem of his jeans, thrusting his hips out to show me how hard he is. I twitch, leaning forward, and he takes a step back with a teasing laugh.

  “Not yet,” he says.

  He pops the button of his jeans and then teases the zipper down. His jeans are almost molded to his muscular legs. He pushes the heavy material over his hips and then turns around, bending over so that his boxers are stretched tight across his butt, slowly dragging each leg of his jeans off. My eyes are on him, transfixed by each of his actions, desperate for him to stop and yet never wanting to finish watching him.

  Slowly, he stands up again and stretches, his back flexing as he raises his arms above his head. He shoots me a wink over his shoulder and, in one smooth move, pushes his boxers down and kicks them away. Then he turns around, his cock standing tall and proud, leaking slightly as he moves toward me.

  “Do you like what you see now?” He asks.

  “So much better,” I grin.

  I slide off the bed and drop to my knees in front of him, reaching up to wrap my hands around his hips. I look up at him; his pupils are dilated as he stares down at me, knowing what I’m going to do next.

  “Last time I promised to suck everything out of you before you fucked me, but you almost drove me over too,” I say, and breathe gently over his twitching cock, making him groan. “This time, I’m going to make good on that promise.”

  My tongue darts past my lips and I lick his cock from the tip and then down the length. Ethan’s hips buck under my hold and he pants, his eyes rolling backward from the sensation. I grin and then open my mouth, wrapping my lips gently around just the top of his cock, tasting the salty leakage there. I swirl my tongue thoughtfully around the liquid and hum, sending vibrations down the entire length.

  “Shit,” Ethan hisses above me, and his hands tangle in my hair, tugging slightly at it.

  I groan at the feeling and Ethan shivers as the sound goes straight through him, his knees weakening slightly before he manages to catch himself. His hips twitch under my grip, wanting to buck forward, so I take more of his cock into my mouth and I scrape my teeth lightly on it, suckling gently. Ethan gasps and jerks.

  It’s amazing to see him coming so undone under my ministrations. I’m the one that’s doing this to him. I’m the one he can’t resist. In this moment, he isn’t thinking about anything else other than me and the way that I’m touching him. I want to keep his attention on me forever, if I can. It’s heady to feel his gaze on me and know that I’m the only other person in the world to him in this moment.

  I take more of his cock into my mouth, licking all around it like a lollipop . It’s twitching and shaking, and I know he’s very close to coming. His grip tightens in my hair, and I breathe in through my nose sharply, groaning deeply around his cock. Then I give one hard suck and Ethan shudders violently before coming.

  I lap at the salty taste of his coming, sucking it all out of him as I promised. He’s twitching under my hands, groaning. When there’s no more, I release his flaccid cock and sit back, breathing hard. Ethan turns and crashes down on the bed, trying to catch his breath, and I stand so I can slide onto the bed beside him.

  “Fuck, Georgia,” Ethan says with a breathy laugh. “That was amazing.”

  I smile but don’t say anything, reaching over and sliding my hands over his chest. I’m not done yet. There’s still more yet, for us to do. Ethan’s breath shudders under my touch, his skin still overly sensitive after his orgasm.

  He doesn’t stop me though, which I was half afraid of. He just watches me with intense eyes, tracking my every movement. Then, slowly, he leans in toward me and kisses me.

  Our tongues tangle and Ethan�
��s hands find my hair once more, his fingers massaging my scalp. I map out the inside of his mouth, familiarizing myself with all the dips and ridges, and then suck his tongue into my mouth so he can do the same. While we kiss, my hands wander downward until I find his twitching cock and slowly start stroking it.

  It doesn’t take much. Ethan is still on edge, and his nerves are likely sparking everywhere. Before long, his cock starts filling and he’s trembling with anticipation as he presses close to me, biting and sucking. We break apart, needing air, and he pushes me back, making my hands fall from him as I bounce onto the bed, my hair curtaining around my head, and look up at him.

  “I’m going to fuck you now,” he says.

  I shiver at the promise in his voice. I wonder how much better it will be to have him inside me while knowing that he’s chosen to keep touching me.

  “Fuck me hard, Ethan,” I say.

  I can almost see memory reflecting in his eyes. Last week, I demanded that he fuck me hard, wanting to feel everything that’s happening. I need that this time too. I need to know that he’s there, inside me. I need to feel every inch of him as he fucks me deeply.

  Ethan dips his head down and presses kisses along my jaw as his hands pull my legs apart so he can settle between them. I angle my head back to give him better access, and he licks at my fluttering pulse before sucking lightly on it. He pulls himself toward me, kneeling over me on the bed, and I look up at him, trying to beg him with my eyes to do something, because the anticipation of just laying here and waiting for it is killing me. I reach out and grab his shoulders, trying to drag him closer, and his hands settle on my hips as he slowly lines himself up against my body and pushes the tip of his cock into me.

  He goes slowly, despite my demand. I know he’s teasing me, getting me back for making him orgasm before. I groan and try to thrust my hips toward him, but Ethan’s grip is firm, preventing me from moving. Inch by inch Ethan slides into me, and his face is a picture of concentration as he struggles not to slide straight home.

  “Shit, Ethan, please, I need more,” I groan.

  Ethan pants out a breathy laugh and moves another little bit. He’s so close to being completely inside me. I lock my legs around his waist and drag him in, slamming him the rest of the way into my body and making us both moan.

  “Don’t be impatient,” Ethan says. “We’re just getting started.”

  That means he plans to keep teasing me. His fingers dig into my hips and I scrape my nails helplessly against his shoulders as he slowly pulls out and then wriggles back inside. It’s not enough. Having him inside me is amazing, but I need more. I need to feel him.

  “Please, Ethan,” I half sob.

  I throw my head back, so I don’t see the smile that curves at Ethan’s lips. I do feel it however, when he pulls back and then his hips snap forward with enough force to make me jerk, my body pulling him in deeply. He strikes that spot that makes my vision darken for a second, and I cry out, not expecting the sudden change in pace.

  Then he’s thrusting, his hips punching back and forth into me. I try to meet his thrusts, but he keeps striking that sweet spot, and I can’t do more than writhe on the bed, helpless under the waves of pleasure battering at me. Sweat is pouring down Ethan’s face, and I know neither of us are going to last much longer now, but I’m determined to drag everything from this before it’s over.

  It’s close, though. Spots are appearing in front of my eyes, and my body is trembling with need and exhaustion. I cling desperately to Ethan’s shoulders, wanting to feel him as, finally, an orgasm crashes over me. He thrusts twice more before his body shudders again and he comes with me, both of us falling helplessly over the edge. I’m dimly aware of him pulling out of me and slumping down onto the bed beside me, breathing heavily.

  My heart is thundering like I’ve just run a marathon. I’m completely exhausted after that. But it was absolutely amazing. Far better than any time we’ve been together so far. This time was because we both wanted it.

  But now reality has to set in.

  Ethan lays beside me. His arm is brushing against mine. I want to curl against his side, but I’m not sure if I’m allowed to. Now that the adrenalin and lust are draining away, I can’t help but wonder what will happen next.

  Hearing Ethan say that he was falling for me…my mind just stuttered to a complete halt. But then he realized what he had said and tried to ask me to forget he’d said it. How could I possibly forget it? He had just said the one thing I had been hoping to hear for years.

  There was no way I could let him get away with trying to ignore it.

  I hadn’t meant to jump him. But something animalistic and possessive had come over me at that moment. Ethan had feelings for me. For the first time, he was mine. Somehow, I had to make him know that. So I grabbed him and pushed him into admitting that he wanted me. After that, there was no stopping me.

  Does he resent me? My heart clenches. For the first time, I feel like I really took advantage of Ethan. He made it clear that he wasn’t ready for this. But I couldn’t let him get away, not after so long. Now, though, that the cloud of hope has faded from my eyes, I think I’ve acted rashly.

  “Ethan?” I ask.

  Ethan doesn’t say anything at first. Then, slowly, he turns to look at me. His expression is unreadable. I swallow a lump in my throat. Is he angry?

  “All good?” I ask.

  He blinks.

  “Yeah,” he says roughly. “I think so.”

  His hand brushes against mine. And then he shifts so he’s lying close to me, his shoulder and my shoulder pressed together. My heart misses a beat, and I look up at him.

  “I don’t know what’s going to happen next,” he murmurs. “Part of me just wants to pretend tonight didn’t happen so we can go back to normal.”

  I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to do that, not now that I’ve gotten a taste of what it feels like to be loved by Ethan. If Ethan breaks my heart tonight, then that will be it for us, I think. I’ll have to leave, because staying would be too painful.

  But I don’t say this. I don’t want to guilt him into giving me the answer that I want. That wouldn’t be fair. So, instead, I’m just watching him, searching his face for some sign of what he’s thinking now.

  “I don’t know what to do,” he says.

  “Can I make a suggestion?” I ask.

  “Anything,” Ethan promises.

  I hesitate, and then slowly curl against him, pressing my naked body against his side. I’m too tired to feel any sort of lust. Instead, I feel warm and comfortable as his arm hesitantly winds around me, pulling me closer.

  “Don’t run,” I say. I press a soft kiss to his shoulder. “I know it’s frightening, but please don’t run from this. I’ll never do to you what Polly did.”

  He doesn’t say anything for a long moment, and I almost think he isn’t going to. Then…

  “I know,” he says softly.

  It’s not a promise. It doesn’t mean this is the start of something new. But it’s more hopeful than anything I’ve had before.

  So I lay my head on his shoulder and close my eyes. Tomorrow will be a new day to face and, for the first time, I think things might actually work out.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Ethan

  I shuffle out of my room, still in my pajamas. I look around furtively, wondering where Lily is. It’s Monday and she needs to be at school. When I woke, I panicked briefly about needing to go to work, but then I remembered the message my supervisor had sent yesterday, telling us to take the day off because he wasn’t able to open the site for us.

  I wonder if Georgia needs to go to work. I didn’t have the heart to wake her, though, so I hope she’s not meant to be rushing to her office.

  “Dad?”

  I look up. Lily is yawning, straightening her clothes. Her hair is a rat’s nest, though, and I snort as I head over to her, pulling her hair into a neat ponytail.

  “Was Georgia here last night?” Lily
asks.

  I pause.

  “Why do you ask?” I say.

  “I heard her talking to Allison,” Lily explains. “Does that mean you and Georgia aren’t fighting anymore?”

  I think about last night and cough.

  “No, we’re not fighting anymore,” I say. “We fixed things, like I told you we would. We both apologized for acting stupid, too.”

  “Good,” Lily says seriously. Then she lights up. “Did Georgia stay? Is she in the spare room?”

  “No, she’s not in the spare room,” I say, avoiding her first question.

  I don’t want to try and explain to my ten-year-old daughter that Georgia spent the night in my room. She’ll ask questions that I either can’t or don’t want to answer.

  “Oh,” Lily says, disappointed.

  “Anyway, ready to go?” I ask hopefully; the sooner I get Lily out of the house, the better. Georgia and I really need to talk.

  Lily frowns at me.

  “It’s too early,” she says.

  I glance at my watch. She’s right. We don’t need to leave for another forty-five minutes.

  “Are you alright, Dad?” Lily asks suspiciously. “You’re being weird.”

  “Everything is fine,” I say, pasting a smile on my face.

  I really hope Georgia doesn’t wake up and wander out here, forgetting that Lily is around. That would be really awkward.

  “Right…” Lily says. “Is Mom coming next weekend?”

  I blink at her, uncomprehending. Then it hits me. Polly. Right. I didn’t think about her at all last night. But that doesn’t mean she isn’t still scheming behind my back to take my daughter away from me. I still need to come up with some way to deal with her.

  “Uh, probably on Sunday,” I say. “Georgia is taking you and me to the carnival.”

  “Carnival?” Lily yelps, eyes wide. I look at my bedroom door nervously, hoping Georgia didn’t wake. “Really?”

  “Really,” I confirm. “How does that sound?”