Secret Desires (Roughshod Rollers MC Book 4)

by Mia Ford

  We’re almost done, though. Georgia is cooking a stir fry on Lily’s request, and my daughter and I just have the dining room to finish decorating.

  “That smells delicious,” I comment as I get back up on the chair.

  “Yeah, it smells good!” Lily cheers. “I’m hungry.” She turns to me. “But we’re still doing presents before dinner, right?”

  “Yeah,” I laugh. “We are. I know you’re excited.”

  Lily has four gifts. One is a very large box that she keeps trying to shake, wondering what is in it. Two of the others are small gifts that Georgia and I got her, wanting to get her something that was specifically hers considering the conditions on the large gift. The last one is from Polly, which she brought over yesterday. Despite my condition that Polly not come to my home anymore, I was willing to let this one go due to it being Lily’s birthday.

  I glance at Lily. I’d expected her to want Polly here today, or even at her party, but she didn’t invite Polly to either. I know she’s going to her mom’s on Sunday for a birthday dinner, but I suspect that Lily has noticed that Polly doesn’t come to this house anymore. She hasn’t asked why, but I’m expecting her to soon, and I’m still trying to figure out how to answer her.

  “Yes!” Lily cheers, throwing a balloon up in the air. It brushes against the light and pops with a loud bang. “Oops.”

  “Too much air, Lils,” I sigh. “And keep them away from the lights. I don’t have an infinite supply, you know.”

  “Sorry,” Lily says guiltily. She picks up the packet. “There are two hundred in here, though.”

  “Which isn’t infinite,” I remind her. “So stop popping them, or we won’t have any left.”

  Lily nods quickly and puts down the pack. I glance at Georgia, who winks at me, amused. I feel a bubble of contentment; it’s hard to believe how happy I am these days, especially with how stressful those two weeks were a few months ago.

  Yet Georgia and I are going strong, Lily is as happy as always, and I’ve been considering making some big decisions of my own. Life is carrying on and it couldn’t be better.

  “There,” I say, satisfied. “That’s the last streamer. Can I have some balloons, Lily?”

  Lily handed me some balloons tied to the white string we’d found in the cupboard. I looped them together and pinned them to the ceiling, pleased.

  “It looks good!” Lily says, grinning. “We even have some extra balloons to play with!”

  “You’re blowing them up,” I tell her. I get down off the chair. “Now, if the stir fry is okay…presents?”

  “Sounds good,” Georgia agrees, laughing at the pleading look Lily sent her. “Let me just put the lid on.”

  Lily bounds ahead of us into the living room, and she’s already sitting eagerly on the couch when we follow.

  “Which present first?” I muse aloud, grinning as I see the way Lily’s eyes are fixed on the large wrapped box. “Georgia?”

  “Hmm…this one,” Georgia says with a wink, picking up Polly’s present.

  Polly got Lily a beautiful series of classic books in hard cover, and several pretty hair clips in the shapes of butterflies and flowers. Lily looks over them, impressed, but it’s clear that her attention is still on the present she’s really curious about. So Georgia grins and gives Lily her own gift, which is, to both my surprise and Lily’s excited amazement, the new handheld console that I haven’t been able to afford.

  “There’s a few games loaded on it,” Georgia says with a smile. “And I set up an account for you.”

  She leans toward me.

  “I set up an email address that we can give her in a year or two,” she murmurs.

  “Thanks,” I say. “I think you’ve just made her day. But, Georgia, I know how much those things cost, and with what you loaned me…”

  “Not to pull this card, but my promotion is paying me really well,” Georgia interrupts. “Let me do this for her.”

  I chuckle. “Thank you.”

  After, we give her my little gift. It isn’t much, because I couldn’t really afford it, but watching the way Lily’s eyes light up at the beautiful, white fluffy teddy bear she reveals, a purple ribbon sitting snugly around its neck, makes me smile.

  “Alright,” Georgia announces. “Last one. Have at it, Lily!”

  Lily darts off the couch like she’s been electrocuted and tears at the paper. The box, however, is plain, and she looks at us, confused.

  “Open it,” I encourage, grinning.

  She opens the box, and gasps. Inside are several more boxes, for a large computer tower and a wide screen. With the money I loaned from all my friends, all of whom were happy to put in for the gift, I was able to get a very nice computer.

  Lily’s eyes water and she throws herself at me.

  “Thanks, Dad,” she says tearfully.

  “Just remember, this computer isn’t just yours,” I warn. “We’re going to set it up here in the living room, and you and I will negotiate times, alright?” I let my stern expression fall and I smile softly. “But I’m glad you like it. Happy birthday, Lily.”

  Getting this computer for Lily took everything I had. In the end, I borrowed the money from Georgia and all of our friends, though not as much as I thought I would have to when my boss, hearing me speaking to Trevor about it, offered me some extra work to help out. With luck, I’ll be able to pay all my friends back in the next few months without worrying about bills or what we’ll eat. Georgia offered to help out in that area, too, but I refused; she has her own bills to think about. It’s enough for me that she’ll sometimes cook dinner for us, or take us to the movies or theme parks for a fun day out. I also believe she might be slipping Lily some pocket money, but I’m turning a blind eye to that since I can’t afford to do it myself.

  For the first time, though, I was able to get Lily something she really wanted, regardless of how it happened. Now that she has her game console, I can also start putting a little money aside to get her some games for both it and the computer, which will be nowhere near as expensive as the computer itself was.

  “I hope you’ve had a wonderful day,” I say to my daughter, kissing the top of her head. “And tomorrow is going to be fun, too.”

  “Did you pick up the piñata?” Lily mumbles into my shoulder.

  I laugh.

  “Of course,” I reply.

  We head back to the dining room, one of Lily’s new hair clips in her braid, and sit down for dinner. Lily excitedly tells us about the games she wants to play, such as pass the parcel and pin the tail on the donkey, and I nod along with a smile despite the fact that she’s given me this exact same spiel several times this week. After dinner, I light eleven candles on the chocolate cake and carry it over to the table, Georgia and I singing Happy Birthday off-key, making Lily laugh. She coos over the carefully sculpted chocolate roses on the cake.

  Once we’re done, full of stir fry and chocolate cake, Lily darts off to turn on her new console, making me promise to help set up the computer once Georgia and I have finished cleaning up. I watch her go, unable to help the smile stretching across my lips. She’s so happy and that makes me feel good.

  “Did you pick up the sponge cake for tomorrow?” Georgia asks me.

  “I did,” I assure her. “It’s in the fridge. It looks amazing.”

  “How many kids are we going to have tomorrow?” Georgia asks.

  “Fifteen,” I say with a laugh. “It’s going to be a handful. I’m throwing them all outside to play.”

  “As long as the weather holds,” Georgia points out.

  I grimace. The season is changing as the weather starts getting colder, and black clouds have been threatening us overhead all day. So far the rain has held off, and I can only hope that lasts until tomorrow.

  “If it doesn’t, we can make it a pool party,” I joke. “The puddles will be big enough, right?”

  “Their parents might have a little to say about that,” Georgia grins.

  In quiet conten
tment, the two of us begin clearing away the plates from dinner and dessert. I hear the sound of Lily’s game blaring from the living room.

  Nothing has changed since Georgia and I got together. I can’t believe how easy it was to fall into a relationship, and then I remember that we’ve been in a relationship for a long time. The only difference is that now we touch and kiss each other. Every time I think this, it makes me feel so blind and stupid. I almost let Georgia go because I’d managed to convince myself I could never feel anything other than friendship for her.

  “Hey, I saw those applications on your desk yesterday,” Georgia says casually. “What’s all that about?”

  I smile.

  “I was hoping to surprise you,” I say to her. “I’ve been looking at doing an online college degree.”

  “Really?” Georgia asks, looking up. “What in?”

  I smile softly.

  “Before Lily was born…do you remember what I wanted to do?” I ask. “I pushed it back because we didn’t have a lot of money, and I wasn’t smart enough to get in on a scholarship. Then I married Polly, then Lily was born, and then everything else happened… I just never got round to it.”

  “I…think?” Georgia says, face screwed up in thought.

  “I wanted to do architecture,” I tell her, laughing. “I’m not surprised you don’t remember. I tried not to talk too much about it because my dad hated hearing me speak about it. He wanted me to play football, but I hated it. Polly and I spoke about it a lot, but those dreams died completely when she left.” I look down at the table and smile. “But maybe it’s time to give it a go, you know?”

  “Absolutely,” Georgia breathes. “When do you start?”

  “I haven’t applied yet,” I say. “That’s what those papers are; I had to get academic records, and I’ve had to write up some essays. I’ve done it all by hand, so far, but I can type everything up now that we have a computer.”

  “You could have just used my laptop,” Georgia points out.

  “I didn’t decide to do this until after I got the computer,” I say with a shrug. “Finally getting a good computer felt a little like a sign. With a computer, I can do the units and assessments. Anyway, I’m still not sure, financially it’s going to put a huge burden on us…”

  “I’ll help,” Georgia says immediately. She puts a hand up to silence me before I can protest. “No, you’re not arguing this one, Ethan. This is your future we’re talking about. Besides, you owe me, considering you tried to control my future, remember?”

  I wince. Right, Georgia still isn’t letting that go.

  “This is different,” I say.

  “Then borrow the money, and you can pay me back when you’re making more money as an architect,” Georgia challenges. “I’m not letting this go, Ethan. This is important. If this is what you really want, then I want to make this happen. The future is important.”

  “The future?” Lily asks brightly from the door.

  Georgia and I turn around. Lily has crept up on us, holding her silenced console. Likely she’s come to see if I’m ready to set up the computer. She’s beaming at the two of us, looking highly excited.

  “Are you talking about the future?” Lily asks enthusiastically. “Does that mean you’re finally going to get married?”

  I choke. Georgia breathes in sharply.

  “Lils?” I say when I’ve got my own breathing under control. “Georgia and I have only been together for a few months. We’re not ready to think about marriage.”

  Lily gives us an unimpressed look.

  “You guys should have gotten married years ago,” she sniffs.

  Then she flounces away. Georgia and I stare at each other, incredulous.

  Georgia breaks first. She starts giggling softly. Then a snort escapes me. Before we know it, we’re both laughing. I shouldn’t be surprised that my daughter, the one who has watched Georgia and I for so long, would say such a thing. Because she’s not wrong. We might be officially in a relationship now, but we’ve been together forever, at this point.

  Georgia controls herself first, and she smirks.

  “I’m going to Washington next week,” she says. “Want to ask me when I come back?”

  “I’ll order the roses and violins,” I say, amused.

  Part of me is only half joking. Now that Lily has brought it up, I can’t help but imagine what it would be like to be married to Georgia. I smile and lean over to kiss her.

  “I love you,” I say.

  She smiles and curls her arm around mine.

  “I love you, too.”

  Then she pushes me toward the living room.

  “You better go help your daughter with the computer,” she tells me.

  I laugh and walk away, throwing Georgia a wink over my shoulder. She grins back at me, and my heart rises. Yes, I can definitely see myself marrying this beautiful, perfect woman.

  Not yet, though. For Georgia, it will have to be perfect. And then…

  Then we can spend the rest of our lives together.

  Excerpt

  I never expected to see her again, but, when my ex shows up, a child in tow, I know things are spiraling out of control.

  Three years ago, I was happy.

  But then Jessica leaves, and nothing is the same,

  I try my best to carry on, but I never forgot her.

  I will never ever forgive her,

  She’s done enough.

  I hate her now.

  Until she returns, a kid in her arms and apologies on her lips…

  Grant

  I yawn widely and blink several times. I glance at the clock for the third time in the last minute and groan when I notice that the hands have barely moved past nine o’clock. I’m more than ready for this night to be over, despite the fact that it’s barely started.

  “Rough day?” one of the women sitting at the bar asks sympathetically, nursing a red drink in her hands.

  “Yeah,” I sigh, rubbing my forehead. I’m so tired. “Hopefully it’s a quiet night.”

  The woman snorts. “Fat chance of that; it’s Friday.”

  She perks up then and turns away from me, grinning as she sees two more women come into the bar. She slides off her seat and heads toward them; she’s been waiting here for the last fifteen minutes, getting progressively more impatient as the minutes ticked by. I’m almost glad she’s gone; she’s spent the last five minutes whining about how late the others are.

  At the moment, the Anchor Bar, where I work, is quiet and almost empty. But I know that will change very soon; it’s Friday night after all, and the place will fill up quickly. I think about the long hours that are stretching ahead of me and I wish I had just called in sick. Fiona McIntosh, the other bartender, would have been eager to pick up an extra shift. I’m just not in the mood to deal with anyone tonight.

  A man approaches the bar and I head toward him. He’s smiling and he says something about having a long day at work, so I smile back and give him a beer after taking his money. He’s still chattering about something or other, and I try and nod in all the right places, not really listening at all. It takes me a moment before I realize that he’s taken his drink and left.

  “You look like death warmed over,” a new voice says.

  Blinking, startled, I look around.

  “Kyle?” I ask, confused; when did he come in?

  Kyle Jacobs grins at me, his large form hunched over the bar, ridiculously tall even while he’s sitting down. He’s not a quiet man by any means; I must be more tired than I thought if I didn’t notice him arrive and sit down nearby.

  “Long day?” Kyle asks.

  “You could say that,” I reply, rubbing my head.

  Not that I did much. No, most of my problems right now are because of the sleepless night I had suffered through, tossing and turning into the early hours of the morning after waking abruptly from stupid dreams. Eventually, I gave up at seven and got out of bed to drink as much coffee as my stomach could stand.


  “Where’s Allison?” I ask.

  “She’ll come soon,” Kyle says with a shrug. “She went to pick up a friend.”

  “A friend?” I ask, curious. “Jacqui?”

  I’ve met Jacqui Clark a few times, now. She’s an interesting woman; blunt, cheerful and full of bad jokes and sage advice. She’s definitely the perfect match for Allison Miller, who is headstrong and would easily run headlong into danger without both Kyle and her best friend corralling her.

  “No,” Kyle says. “An old friend from school that she reconnected with. She doesn’t get out of the house much so Allison wants to drag her out…against her wishes.” He rolls his eyes but there’s a fond smile on his face that I can’t help but feel jealous of. “She’s fucking nosy.”

  “She is,” I say with a laugh. “Looking out for her must be a full-time job.”

  Kyle’s smile drops and he sighs. “If she isn’t trying to rope me into some sort of feel-good, enlightenment shit, she’s throwing herself in the path of pickpockets.”

  “That’s oddly specific,” I point out.

  “Did it two days ago,” Kyle grumbles. “Some fucking pickpocket stole a guy’s wallet, and he started yelling for someone to catch the thief. Allison saw him running and stepped right in front of him. Guy would have bowled her over or shoved her into traffic if I wasn’t there.”

  “What did you do?” I ask.

  “Beat his ass,” Kyle scowls.

  I snort. “He’ll probably think twice before trying that again, at least.”

  “He ran off, leaving the wallet behind,” Kyle says, shrugging. “The police haven’t been at my doorstep, asking me about it, so he didn’t cry assault.”

  “You got lucky,” I remind him. “The last thing you need is to tangle with the police. They’ll take one look at your record and throw you away.”

  “That was years ago,” Kyle protests.