Illusionary

by LeAnn Mason

  Just then the door opened from the other side, startling both the good doctor and myself. An internal shriek permeated my own wince. Dr. Parmore clutched her papers to her chest once more, and huffed, irritated that she was not prepared for this situation.

  The man standing in the doorway was a sight to behold. Well over six feet tall with an abundance of lean muscle covering every surface of his body, the kind that spoke of strength, but also speed and agility. His face was all angles, his eyes a striking reddish brown. Above those russet orbs were surprisingly sculpted brows and closely cropped brown hair.

  I brought my attention back to his and noticed his small smirk. For an older man, he was quite a looker. It was about this time I registered the fact that I was internally hearing singing. He has a good voice.

  My brows pinched as I realized that all I could hear from this man was singing, which meant it was his version of blocking my ability. Well, now I knew he was aware of said ability. I smiled tremulously, wiping suddenly sweating palms down my jean clad thighs, nervous as to what this visit could be about.

  Attempting to regain control, Dr. Parmore cleared her throat and motioned in my direction. "Commander James, this is Nathalee Dae, as you requested." The man looked away from me briefly to acknowledge her introduction, which he did by dipping his chin once in Dr. Parmore’s direction. He then extended his right hand toward me.

  "Nice to meet you, Nathalee. I’m Commander James, as Doctor Parmore has noted." I took a step forward and reached out to grasp his hand. It closed over mine sternly for a brief moment before he released it to cross his arms over his broad chest and lean back on his heels.

  Everything about this man said discipline and authority. His attire was dark and tactical, full of pockets for storage and retrieval, and snug so as to not impede movement. Damn, he really is attractive. Commander James looked toward Dr. Parmore again and asked, "Doctor, would you give Miss Dae and me a moment please?"

  My boss looked affronted and confirmed this with her internal outrage. After sputtering and turning a deep shade of red, which seemed to be due to anger and not embarrassment, she quickly turned and exited the office pulling the door shut behind her and muttering about not being privy to the information given within the confines of her own office.

  Once I could no longer hear her inner tirade, I gave my attention to the commander. His thoughts were now cataloging what he noted about me. Tall, more solid than many Sage, assessing—

  "What can I do for you, Commander?" I decided to get the ball rolling on this party and try to figure out what the commander could possibly want from me. He was obviously Primal, his physique too perfect for him not to be. So what could he want? He couldn’t know that about me, so what could he need? I watched him, trying to puzzle it out, and came up blank.

  "I've been approved to put together a team which pairs both Primal and Sage together in order to best accommodate what needs to be done to ensure that criminals are culled from the general populace most effectively. I've come in hopes of adding you, Miss Dae, as a member of this initial team."

  He still stood with his arms across his chest, only now his chin was dipped in order to convey this speech while looking at my eyes, and his weight was evenly across his feet. He looked to be measuring me, my grit. The speech seemed rehearsed. The words didn’t seem to fit with the man. Too polished. The wheels were spinning in my head as I took this in. I shuffled a few steps into the office and took a seat in the plastic chair to the right, nearest me, hoping I wouldn't feel quite so awkward once seated.

  Stalling, I swept my gaze over the sparse space. Dr. Parmore was not one to clutter with sentimentality so there wasn’t much to the room. "What is it you think I will be helpful with? How can a Sage assist in enforcement? We can’t stand up to the physical riggers you Primals can endure." I snorted. "Not even by half, some even less." I hated that Sage had such setbacks physically, though in truth, some could lessen their frailty a bit with time and effort. They didn’t, though.

  "True," he nodded. "You cannot keep up with us physically, but you far outpace us mentally. We are, as a whole, too reactive, too…volatile, and not attentive enough to be effective in some things." He scratched his chin, then returned his arm to his chest as he continued. "We are looking for a few Sage who have mental abilities that would be helpful in gathering information in criminal matters." He paused, the cumbersome words once again falling from his mouth.

  Uncrossing his arms and walking toward the side of the desk, he lowered to the chair next to me, though I wasn’t sure how good of an idea it was. The chair looked to be straining under his weight. "Your telepathy could tell us these things."

  Wait, what?

  I hadn't ever thought of my telepathy as being a good thing. I always thought it would be better to be like others who were telekinetic or had an eidetic memory. I mean, wouldn't it be so much cooler to be able to move objects without touching them, or never having to study?

  Instead, I knew that Tommy was frustrated with his inability to "seal the deal" with Julia. But if what the commander said was true, and I could be a factor in delivering justice?

  That would definitely be grabbing life by the horns.

  "You’re aware it’s not selective? I have no control over the things I 'hear’ when I'm around others?" I twisted my hands in my lap after using air quotes for “hear.” This was what I disliked most about my ability—there was no choice; no "off" position. It made all involved uncomfortable. There were plenty of times no one wanted anyone to know what they thought; thus why things were not verbalized. With me around, privacy went out the window.

  "We are aware of the repercussions of what I am asking. There are a few of you whose abilities are always 'on', as you say." He paused, narrowing his intriguing eyes at me slightly, then continued, "Can you hear me now?"

  I lifted an eyebrow at him and took a moment to assess. I shook my head once. I couldn't. He was shielding, but how long, and how often would he be able to? I got an answer a few moments later, as what I could only describe as a bubble bursting, sounded in my head, along with the commander's brusque "Damn!" I chuckled and looked up at him. His mouth twisted up slightly to one side in a self-depricating smile. Sorry.

  I huffed a laugh at his mental apology and returned his grin. I think I could stand to be around him but… "Is that bubble shielding something you are going to be instructing others how to do?"

  He sat back in his ridiculously under-built chair and let out a breath he seemed to have been holding as he nodded, stretching out his long legs in front of him. I thought it odd that this man, who was obviously used to being obeyed, seemed so relaxed here, with me. That was not something I was used to. It was…nice.

  "Yes, it is something we will all have to work on. Though, we will accept measures that you take, within reason, to keep yourself from being overwhelmed. Or just for everyone's comfort level." He cringed, both mentally and physically.

  "That’s your way of saying that you don't mind if I wear headphones and tune everyone out?" I raised my brow again and mirrored his pose. Well, attempted to. When I went to stretch my own legs, they knocked into the desk we were perched in front of. The pressure of hitting the solid surface caused me to unbalance a bit in my seat.

  My eyes widened in dawning horror as my attempt at feigned nonchalance went awry. I shouldn’t have been surprised. It was the way of things around me. Oh, the shame! I felt the blush creep up my neck and toward my ears as I pushed my chair backward in a haphazard attempt to recover. The legs made an awful screeching sound, causing us both to wince.

  It didn't help that in no form could I be considered graceful. I'd yet to meet a Sage who was. In the end, I ended up flailing backward and pin-wheeling my arms in my oh-so-brilliant attempt to keep upright as the chair leaned precariously on two legs. I felt the balance shift toward the floor and cringed, anticipating the impending crash landing. Geronimo!

  The commander's grunt was the only indication of his intent that
I received. Faster than I had ever seen anyone move, he was out of his chair and grabbing my shoulders to right me. Thank God. I was still reeling from his rescue as I looked at him. "Th— thank you, Commander James," I stammered, easing out of his hold and running my hand across my face to displace the mop of hair that had plastered itself in various places in my disastrous attempts at being cool. Once the commander was convinced I was stable, he, too, stepped back putting a bit of distance between us and cleared his throat, though his features still conveyed concern.

  "What do you say, Miss Dae? Are you interested in the position?"

  I opened my mouth with a reply when a thought occurred. I had no idea how he knew about me. I mean, it’s not a secret as to my ability, but who would have brought me to the attention of the commander, I had no clue. "How did you come to the conclusion that I, specifically, would be beneficial to your agency, Commander?"

  The big man once again crossed his arms over his chest and rocked back on his heels, contemplating me silently for a moment. Like he was deciding what to tell me. But I caught it. His mind pictured a man. A tall man with wide shoulders, messy dark hair, and piercing blue eyes.

  Holden.

  "How do you know Holden?" I demanded, my mind turning circles. How did Holden know this man? Why did he mention me to him? My internal rant was cut short when the commander threw up his hands in exasperation. I pointed at my temple. "Telepathic remember? You may want to work on the whole shielding thing more, Commander." I put a hand on hip and cocked my eyebrow, it seemed the thing was always loaded.

  "He, uh, works for me," he hedged. His mind flashing with a sequence of unguarded images, baby to adult. The tones were that of pride and love. I was looking at Holden's family. I would bet money that the imposing man, whose full intensity was currently trained on me, was Holden’s father.

  Perfect.

  The meeting concluded after I said I would consider his proposal. As I turned to leave, the commander gave me a small com device, stating it was to contact him with my decision. I hastily left the office, and subsequently the campus to head home.

  Once again, my thoughts in tumult, I scarcely recalled the journey. Twisting the key in the lock, I pushed open the front door of my home. I looped my key on a hook hanging on the wall of the entry and continued toward my bedroom.

  I was tired and achy and decided a bath would be heavenly. I began disrobing before I reached my destination, getting down to my undergarments by the time I reached the tub and turned the water on. I turned on the speaker I kept on the counter and attached my music player before I divested myself of my remaining clothes and slipped into the warm, sudsy water.

  I was so grateful that I had access to music. It was my sanctuary; my bliss. It allowed me to focus on something other than people and their rampant thoughts. Allowed me to escape into my own head. It didn’t matter what type of beat, or delivery… I could always find a song to relate to any mood. The lyrics could speak for me, the instruments could make my worries fly away as if they were balloons in a summer breeze.

  Sitting in the bath long enough to prune, I released the water, dried, and dressed in my nightclothes, a T-shirt and cotton shorts. I meandered toward the kitchen and scrounged for something to eat. Tonight was "date night" for the parental units, so I was fending for myself.

  After inhaling a turkey club sandwich, I rinsed my dishes and wandered back to my room.

  My bed was extremely welcoming as I crawled under the plush covers and settled myself against the fluffy pillow. It was one of the few things, other than my music, that was like a retreat. I loved my sleep, therefore this haven needed to be a reflection of this. Within moments of my head contacting the pillow, I was slipping into oblivion and wondering if my telepathy could in fact, be an asset as Commander James had implied. I also had a fleeting recollection that I was supposed to do something that day, but the details escaped into the night.

  CHAPTER 6

  “OH CRAP!” I AWOKE with a jolt, fully recalling the thought I fell asleep to the night before. I was supposed to meet Holden at the barn for my first “lesson” yesterday, but the meeting with Commander James, who was an unknown member of Holden’s family, I had completely forgotten. Not that I would have been a functional learning sponge after that encounter, but still, I needed to atone.

  After another riveting day of compilation and typing, I eagerly headed toward the barn. I needed to apologize to Holden for bailing on our horsie time yesterday, and I needed to do that in person as we hadn’t given any other means of contact.

  Lost in the instrumental version of a rock song and daydreaming about ponies and attractive Primals, I was slammed with a sharp pain in my left shoulder, jolting me from my reverie. I brought my hand up to rub the area which was now throbbing and searched for the cause. My eyes dropped to the cracked sidewalk.

  At my feet, amid the spider web of cracks and weeds trying to gain purchase, was a large rock, like the kind used for landscaping in the Sage part of town. My eyes pinned to the rock, noting inconsequential details. It was an unusual shade of rose rather than a flat, boring brown and it looked weathered by time. Finally, my eyes continued to scan for the offender. Obviously one of my many admirers had been around, though they weren’t now. I wish I could say that such occurrences were unusual, but I’d be lying. It seemed like an initiation for Sage teens to take their shot at me.

  Getting lost in music was proving to be a very effective means of blocking mental voices. So much so, I had no idea who had cast the first stone. Mentally shrugging, I continued on my way to the barn and my first lesson in horseback riding. I still can't believe I'm doing this!

  My first lesson ended up being about horses and practicality, as opposed to actual riding. Holden waved off my groveling as he once again brought out Raven, saying that he was here either way so it didn’t have much effect on his day. He walked Raven into the aisle, attaching his halter, which I always called a "head harness," to each side of the aisle with long straps. Holden informed me this was termed "cross tying."

  Then he proceeded to tell me about each item in a box he had sitting in the dirt off to the side of the aisle, picking out one dirty and hairy item at a time to impress upon me. Once I was able to tell him what each held item was, and how it was used, he allowed me to approach Raven. Cue dramatic eye roll. Maybe he was upset about being stood up yesterday.

  The horse eyed me warily as I approached his head and held my hand out palm up as Holden instructed. He dropped his nose into my open hand and blew out a rush of air. I brought my hand up to press at his jaw. He's so soft…

  Going on some long dormant instinct, one which Sage usually didn’t possess, I brought my other hand up to the far side of his head and stepped closer. Once my chest was almost pressed to Raven's bristly head, I bent to his nose and blew, softly. Raven breathed out, and I blew again. He breathed in and blew out, and again I puffed softly at him. I was transfixed by this moment. Lost in getting to know Raven, in letting him get to know me.

  Beautiful.

  Until the moment I heard Holden's awed proclamation, I had forgotten he was there, lost as I was to the moment. I couldn't tell you why I blew in Raven's nose, only that it felt right to do so. I backed up and looked at the horse. He was no longer wary, each muscle seemingly more relaxed and his head hung low, his tufted midnight ears twitching between Holden's position and myself.

  He looked almost like a mangy dog, his coat was still long and thick in places like his ears, jaw and belly. The weather was not yet warm enough for him to release his hold on the extra barrier.

  How did you know to do that? Holden was relaxed, leaning against a stall on the left side of the aisle. His corded arms crossed along his broad chest, the right knee bent, allowing his foot to rest against the stall. There was an intrigued glint in his mercury stare. Wait a minute, silver? Weren't his eyes blue? His eyes were definitely blue, I had obsessed about them enough since our first meeting.

  What? Nathalee? You all right
?

  His worried thoughts and expression didn't break me from my confusion. No, that feat occurred as I watched his eyes flip to the beautiful azure I had noted previously. And I mean it was like an ink stain, one moment liquid silver eyes peered at me and the next vivid blue began bleeding from the pupil outward until bright blue eyes stared back at me, the silver now contained in a narrow ring around the pupil. There was no mistaking the change. Unless you are going crazy and seeing things. I mean, you did just blow air into a horse's face!

  I shook myself and stepped back to regain my composure. If it happened again I would ask, until then, I would pretend it hadn’t happened. Wonder if I was seeing things. "Sorry, kinda spaced for a moment." I gave what I hoped was a reassuring smile and nodded like a bobblehead, which probably didn't help my case.

  I needed to get us back on track. Raven was no longer wary of me, but Holden now seemed to be. I bent over the box and grabbed the little oval rubber piece that had little nubs on one side, and a strap to slide your hand into on the other. I now knew it was called a "curry comb." Look at me learning all kinds of stuff today. I stepped toward Raven to brush his coat in circular motions, letting loose an alarming amount of hair and dirt as I worked. With this action, Holden seemed to come back to himself and continued with the lesson.

  We spent thirty minutes grooming Raven, using every item Holden taught me, and discussing the anatomy of a horse. At the conclusion, Raven was blissfully asleep, and my arms ached. It took more pressure and sustained arm lifting than I was used to. Raven stood, rear leg cocked and resting, lower lip hanging loose enough to expose his yellowed teeth and pink tongue to the world.

  I gave him a pat, startling him awake and making him move weight back onto his rear leg, raising his head in alert. Holden happened to be in the way when Raven’s head jerked and took a good knock to the shoulder. It didn’t faze him, of course, and he gave the beast an understanding slap on the neck which reverberated around the otherwise empty and uncharacteristically quiet barn area.