Now and Again

by Natasha West

  Juliet nodded at Riley’s drink. ‘How much whisky did you put in these things?’

  Riley tutted. ‘See? Same old Juliet. Can’t take a compliment.’

  ‘I can,’ Juliet argued but was quick to see the truth. ‘Actually, you’re right. I never could.’

  ‘Well, maybe you should be getting out there a bit. Let yourself get paid a few. Get used to it.’

  ‘You’re assuming that’s what would happen. But I know how it goes on dating apps.’

  ‘How does it go?’

  ‘It ain’t romance,’ Juliet said, taking another sip.

  ‘That’s what you want?’ Riley asked nonchalantly.

  ‘Am I not supposed to?’ Juliet asked, feeling hot in her cheeks.

  ‘I didn’t say that. I just… I don’t know. It doesn’t always turn up right away—romance. Sometimes you just…’ She took a rather long pause. ‘It just happens.’

  Juliet realised she’d taken a step around the kitchen island. ‘Does it?’

  Riley didn’t move. But she smiled, half smiled. Juliet found herself taking another step. God, that whisky was strong. She was never this bold. She wasn’t even sure she was reading this right. If she had it wrong, this was going to be beyond embarrassing—the seventh circle of hellish social missteps.

  But then Riley said, ‘Yeah. Just sort of creeps up on you.’ And she took a step, but it was a small one, smaller than Juliet’s. It was as though she was saying, ‘I’m going to make you walk all the way to me.’ Juliet liked that. She’d never minded hard work if the reward was enough. She stepped closer. ‘It never feels that easy to me.’

  ‘Maybe you overthink it,’ Riley suggested, still that little smile.

  Juliet took another step, the final one. She was in front of Riley. ‘Maybe I do.’

  ‘Maybe you should stop doing that,’ Riley said. Juliet looked brazenly into her magnificent dark eyes, but Riley didn’t look away. There was a dare in her face.

  ‘Maybe…’ She leaned in close, this close to Riley. Riley didn’t move back. Her lips looked delicious. Juliet was going to taste them, any second now. But she wanted to savour this, the moment before. Looking into Riley’s bottomless eyes, feeling the possibility.

  Only a few seconds passed, but it felt like an eternity. She couldn’t wait any longer. She had to…

  ‘Aahh! Shit!’ shrieked a male voice, and Juliet’s head snapped around to see Mike standing in the doorway. He wasn’t looking at them; he was looking at his foot. He bent down and extracted a small piece of Lego from it. ‘This fucking stuff! Why is it always underfoot!’

  Juliet and Riley backed away from each other hastily. Mike looked up at the pair of them. Then he looked at the counter. ‘Is that my whisky?’

  Safe to say he hadn’t read the vibe. Riley sighed. ‘We just had a splash in our hot chocolate. We couldn’t sleep.’

  ‘It’s forty years old,’ Mike said icily. ‘It’s not something you put in cheap hot chocolate. It’s meant to be enjoyed in a snifter glass with two drops of Springwater to activate the…’ He stopped and sighed. ‘Why am I explaining this? Leave my cabinet alone.’

  He collected a glass from the cupboard while Juliet and Riley didn’t look at each other. He poured himself some water and left the kitchen, saying over his shoulder. ‘Turn off the light when you’re done.’

  Riley groaned as he vanished from view. ‘He always has to say it.’

  Juliet was angry that Mike had smashed the moment. But she hoped it wasn’t beyond repair. Though when she looked at Riley, Riley didn’t look at her. She was downing her drink. Juliet felt the Riley of a moment ago was gone. A dark cloud had descended. ‘Are you alright?’ Juliet asked.

  ‘Mm,’ Riley muttered, going to the sink and pouring out the rest of her drink. She turned with a smile that seemed forced. ‘Well, night. Thanks for the spider disposal.’ She walked out.

  Juliet was left feeling confused, hurt. What just happened? One minute they were laughing, talking, getting close. The next, Riley was gone, in all senses. Juliet felt like she’d done something wrong. She had no idea what it was. But Riley had shut down with such speed, something had changed.

  Sixteen

  Riley felt stupid.

  She shouldn’t have done any of that. Dragged Juliet out of bed and into a midnight adventure, culminating in booze and the exchange of secrets. Because, before she knew what she was doing, she was letting Juliet in. She’d always been like that. Drawing you out into plain sight, making you want to let her know you. Riley had found herself flirting with the one person on planet Earth she knew didn’t think very much of her. Because, as they’d agreed, they hadn’t changed. They were still the people they’d been. And Juliet had gotten a good look at Riley and found her distinctly wanting once. It wasn’t different now. There was no reason it should be. If anything, it was worse. Because the difference in who they were was even starker. They were on Riley’s alleged turf. The little rich girl who came home to daddy when real life got too hard. Riley had tried not to see it that way, but she wondered if Juliet did. Maybe it was just true.

  Why was Riley going to kiss her, then? Why had she kissed her ten years ago? Mysteries, mysteries. She couldn’t keep trying to solve one like Juliet.

  Riley was reminded of the definition of insanity. Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Thank god her dad could be relied upon to be his normal, arsehole self. She wondered how many times he’d unknowingly busted up a good time in his life. This was the one time that Riley was grateful for it. He’d reminded her who she was, where she was, the way things were.

  ***

  After nearly no sleep, Riley was on the train the next day in a mild stupor. She was staring at her phone mindlessly when a text came through from India, wanting to hang out. Though India wasn’t the most scintillating company, she was a distraction, and Riley quickly accepted. She needed to cut back on scintillating company anyway.

  ***

  ‘So, yeah, he said he wanted to move in. I said no.’

  ‘Oh?’ Riley said, sipping her coffee. She felt like she’d been listening to this story, or some form of it, for many years. She just had to make the right noises in the right places.

  ‘Yeah. I was thinking of ending it anyway. I liked him at first.’ Disdain dripped from India’s voice. ‘But then I noticed how much he talked about his mum.’

  ‘His mum?’

  ‘Yeah.’

  ‘Is that bad?’

  ‘It is if it’s ten seconds after you finish fucking.’

  ‘What? What did he say?’ Riley asked, engaged now. This had been a good idea, after all. She wasn’t thinking about Juliet whatsoever.

  ‘He said he was worried that she shouldn’t be marrying some guy she met a few months ago. I mean, that’s not normal, is it? Talking about your mother’s love life, just after sex. There’s no way he wasn’t thinking about it during, is there? It’s like that book, or… What was it where the guy wants to shag his dad and kill his mum?’

  ‘It’s the other way around, and it’s a play called Oedipus.’

  ‘Anyway. I don’t wanna compete with his mum in the bedroom. It’s sick.’

  Riley was forced to play devil’s advocate. ‘You’re sure that’s what was happening? Is it possible that he was just relaxed and then it popped into his head? I mean, did you ask him about it?’

  ‘Nope. I’ve decided. It’s too sick. I’m out,’ India declared casually. ‘Anyway, I’ve got a date with a total ten tonight. He’s six-one and has four horses. It’s meant to be.’

  ‘My god, when did you break up with Brandon?’ Riley asked, slightly shocked at how quickly India could shake it off and move on.

  ‘Brandon? That was weeks ago. The guy with the mummy thing was Justin,’ India said.

  ‘I really and truly cannot keep up,’ Riley had to say.

  ‘It’s just how dating is,’ India said with slight defensiveness. ‘You have to kiss a few frogs.’

&n
bsp; Riley thought India had probably kissed a fair few frogs in her time and bolted before they had half a chance to transform into princes. Which was fine, as long as you weren’t lying to yourself or other people about what you wanted out of the deal.

  ‘What about you, anyway?’ India asked. ‘You haven’t said anything since you and… I want to say Noel?’

  ‘Noah.’ Riley was shocked shitless that India couldn’t even recall his actual name. She’d never wanted to meet him, seemed to actively avoid it. Even though Riley had spent numerous evenings in the presence of India’s flavours of the month, India never met the longest-serving partner Riley had ever had. ‘And there’s been nobody since,’ Riley said. Not the whole truth, but close enough. One near kiss didn’t count.

  ‘What’s going on?’ India asked. ‘Not meeting any hotties at the office?’

  Riley had three other people in her department at Helping Hand. Two of whom were over sixty, and one that was under twenty. None of that was Riley’s cup of tea. ‘No, but it wouldn’t matter much if my office was brimming with talent. I’m currently living with my dad. Can you imagine taking a date home? “Hey, let’s go to my room after I’ve asked my step mum if it’s OK first. Watch out for my sister’s teddy collection, they’re a real trip hazard.”

  ‘Then come and live with me,’ India answered casually.

  ‘What?’ Riley said, suddenly caught up in a coughing fit.

  ‘Yeah. It’s a two-bed. You and me. It’ll be fun.’

  ‘Ummmm….’ Riley muttered.

  ‘Why would you ever say no to that? You hate living with your dad.’

  ‘Ummmm…’ Riley continued.

  ‘I mean, you’ve seen my place, right?’ India said pompously.

  It was big, high spec, open-plan, minimalist white. Riley didn’t know who paid for it, but since India had never had a real job in her life (if you didn’t count part-time influencer), she was definitely not footing the bill. The flat reminded Riley of a very fancy airplane hangar.

  But maybe it wasn’t a bad idea to have an escape plan. ‘I’ll think about it. Thanks.’

  The more Riley thought about it, the kinder an offer it seemed. Maybe Riley had underestimated India. Sure, she was flighty. But she’d always been there for Riley, in her way. Riley wondered if she should try with her, stop taking her for granted. It was easy after all this time to put someone in a box and leave them there. It was entirely possible that India had grown up, but that Riley hadn’t taken the time to see it. Maybe Riley just had to try a bit harder to connect with her. ‘Hey, you remember Juliet?’

  ‘What, the one we saw at the café? From school?’

  ‘Yes. I forgot to tell you, she’s working for my dad now,’ Riley said, interested to see how India would react.

  India was struck dumb momentarily. ‘She what?’

  ‘Yeah. She looks after my little sister.’

  ‘In your house. Where your dad lives. Where you live?’

  ‘That’s right.’

  ‘You’ve had Juliet frigging Sullivan at your house and you never mentioned it?!’ India goggled. ‘Oh my god, that settles it. You have to get the fuck out of there.’

  ‘Look, I know you two weren’t buddies back in the day…’

  ‘She’s a cunt,’ India informed in a hard, flat tone.

  Riley was taken aback. ‘Why would you call her that?’ she asked, her hackles rising.

  ‘She attacked me, final year. Didn’t I tell you?’

  Riley was sceptical. ‘What are you talking about?’

  ‘She was mouthing off about you, and I told her to shut up, then she slapped me with a book,’ India said easily, as though this was a story she’d told to death.

  ‘You never told me this. Why the hell wouldn’t you mention that?’ Riley asked, her head spinning.

  ‘I mean, it was only a paperback, but she clapped me right around the face with it.’ India paused, humility creeping into her tone. ‘I guess I was a bit too embarrassed to talk about it.’

  Riley wasn’t sure about this at all. Was this true? It didn’t sound like Juliet. Then again, Riley couldn’t claim to truly know Juliet. Why did she keep forgetting that? Why did she keep forgetting there was no real bond, or history, or trust there? Why did she keep believing in Juliet, despite the fact she’d curb stomped her heart ten years ago?

  She had to face facts. She was blinding herself to who Juliet was. Riley wanted badly to buy into her, the whole thing. But the real things Riley knew? They were at odds with the sweet girl next door that Riley kept imagining she was.

  Whereas India? She’d known her for most of her life. If India said it had happened, then Riley had to believe it.

  Seventeen

  Juliet was walking down the hall in her pyjamas, rubbing sleep from her eyes. She was headed to the kitchen to collect a cup of tea and take it back to bed for a lazy start to her Saturday.

  That plan ground to a halt as she passed Amanda’s bedroom. The door was wide open. ‘Fuck, fuck, fuck!’ Amanda was crying out as she ran from cupboard to drawer to wardrobe, throwing things into a suitcase on the bed with no system whatsoever. Juliet paused at the door. ‘Everything OK?’

  Amanda didn’t seem to hear her as she threw a swimming costume into her case and then looked at it. ‘Why am I packing that?’

  ‘Amanda, what’s going on?’ Juliet repeated.

  Amanda turned to her, surprised. ‘Oh. Hi. My dad had a heart attack.’

  ‘Oh my god!’ Juliet said, clutching her hand to her mouth.

  Amanda turned back to her frantic packing. ‘They think it’s… I mean, it’s probably OK. It’s mild, I think. My mum said… Anyway, I just need to get there. He lives a few towns over and I... Shit, I just need to get there.’

  ‘Where’s Mike? Is he waiting in the car or…’

  ‘He left for Strasbourg this morning, work thing.’

  ‘Oh no,’ Juliet moaned. ‘That’s awful timing.’

  ‘No, it’s probably better,’ Amanda said, chewing her lip. ‘He’s not great with sickness.’

  Juliet decided to swerve around the fact that Amanda didn’t feel she could ask her husband for support when her dad was gravely ill. ‘You’re not driving, are you?’ she asked.

  ‘I was going to. Do you think it’s a bad idea?’ she asked, frazzled, running to her underwear drawer. ‘I thought I had more bras than this.’

  Juliet shook her head straight away. ‘You’re upset. You shouldn’t drive. You’d be better getting the train. Or I could…’

  ‘Oh, no. You can’t drive. I’m not imposing on you.’

  ‘You wouldn’t be.’

  ‘No, no, you’re right. I should just get a train. It’s quicker, anyway. But… You couldn’t do me a favour and pack some clothes for Mia, could you?’

  ‘Of course,’ Juliet said, turning around. She took two steps down the hall before she turned back around. ‘Amanda, you should leave Mia here with me.’

  Amanda was horrified. ‘It’s the weekend! You’re off!’

  ‘Yeah, but we talked about me doing a bit extra in exchange for the room, and so far, you haven’t let me.’

  ‘I just said that so you’d feel OK about moving in. I didn’t mean it,’ Amanda told her, throwing knickers in the case.

  Juliet couldn’t accept that. ‘That was sweet of you. But if I don’t help, I’ll be drenched in guilt. You’d be doing me a favour by letting me do this.’

  Amanda sighed. ‘I’ve got to admit, it might be easier at the hospital without a toddler.’

  ‘It’s agreed, then. Just take care of yourself and your dad. I’ve got Mia.’

  ‘What’s going on?’ Riley said, walking past and seeing the conversation taking place half in, half out of the room.

  Amanda took a deep breath and garbled, ‘My dad had a heart attack, your dad’s in Strasbourg, Juliet’s taking Mia, I’m taking the train.’

  It took Riley a second to cut through the mess. ‘My… Your… Fuck, is he alright?’r />
  ‘Hopefully.’ Amanda slapped her case shut. ‘Riley, I need a favour; can you help Juliet out with Mia while I’m gone?’

  ‘What?’ they both said in unison.

  ‘I’d just feel better knowing you had backup, Juliet. I could be gone days,’ Amanda said to Juliet.

  ‘Of course I’ll help,’ Riley said.