Born in Light

by Kim ten Tusscher

  Lilith let some energy flow into the stone that she was still holding in her hand. She wasn’t sure if she could do it, but it felt right.

  “I won’t tell You what I’m going to do. You’ll find out soon enough.”

  Her anger heated up the energy. The stone started to crack. Lilith looked at it as it split open. She laughed with pride. “It’s over Jakob. I have the strength and duty to make something of my own life, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do.” She threw the pieces of stone away.

  Lilith turned around and walked back into the cave. Az-Zhara was waiting for her. She stopped beside him.

  “You told me to break ties with Kasimirh,” she said.

  Az-Zhara nodded. “As long as you’re connected to him, you can’t defeat him.”

  Lilith sighed. “Why does it all have to be so hard? Why can’t I just fly away, burn him, and leave everything behind?” She turned around. “I take it that I have to meet the dragons again to be able to break the ties?” She shivered. Without waiting for an answer, she continued: “The strings were only visible when I was a dragon, so I’ll have to change. That will alert Kasimirh. I’m more vulnerable to him as a dragon than as a woman.” She bowed her head.

  Az-Zhara laid his hand on her shoulder. Lilith looked up at him.

  “The dragons will help you,” he said.

  “Why would they? The last time they wanted me to engage in a fight to the death.”

  “Kasimirh’s appearance didn’t only convince me. Wigar-Dan no longer wants to take revenge on you. He wants to make Kasimirh suffer for what he did. Because of his injuries, Wigar-Dan can’t fight Kasimirh himself. He’s placing his hope on you. The dragons will help you in any way they can to defeat the sorcerer. Hluth-Anner will keep you safe from Kasimirh.”

  “Like last time when he said that Kasimirh wouldn’t pose a danger?” Lilith turned around.

  “But this time, Hluth-Anner will be prepared.”

  Lilith nodded. She walked into the cave and woke up Almor.

  “I want to sever ties with Kasimirh and get a new amulet.” She shivered. “Then I’ll go to Nadesh to fight him.”

  Almor gave Az-Zhara a furious look. “Have you been talking her into this?”

  “No, father, this is my own decision. I don’t want to live in fear any more. I don’t want to be scared all the time that he will come to get me.”

  “And you aren’t afraid to go to him?”

  “Of course I am.” Lilith bowed her head.

  “I don’t understand, Lilith.” Almor put his hand on her arm. “We can protect you here.”

  Lilith shook her head. “I don’t want to wait any more. I want to be the one to decide where and when the inevitable fight takes place.” She looked at him. “You don’t have to come with me.”

  “You know that I won’t let you go by yourself. This time around, I will be there to protect you.”

  Lilith nodded. “I’m glad about that. Az-Zhara, can you ask Hluth-Anner when he can help me?”

  “The dragons are waiting for you,” he answered. “We can do it right now, if you want to.”

  Lilith slowly nodded.

  Almor hugged her. “I wish I could come with you to help you.”

  “That would indeed be nice,” Lilith answered. She was clutching his clothes and rested her head against his chest. She closed her eyes when Almor put his hand on her head.

  20

  ”You have to go,” Almor whispered. He carefully pushed her away.

  Lilith reluctantly sat up straight. She kept hold of his hand, though. She looked at Az-Zhara who had come to sit beside her. “Will you help me break the ties?”

  “It’s important that you do this. Not someone else,” said Az-Zhara.

  “But if I can’t do it, someone will have to finish it.” She could tell by his face that he was in two minds. “I’ll do what I can, but it would be naive to think that it’s going to be easy,” she said.

  “If need be, I’ll help you,” he said solemnly.

  Az-Zhara called the dragons. Lilith clutched her father’s hand, but he slowly faded away. Lilith’s surroundings changed into Jakob’s temple. She looked at the garden and the columns. “I don’t want to be here,” she growled.

  Az-Zhara gave her a questioning look. To him, the meeting was taking place in a different environment, so he didn’t notice that Lilith’s remark had effect. Her surroundings started to fade until the temple disappeared. There was nothing to replace it. She found herself in a dense fog.

  Ari-Hagnè materialized. She looked at Lilith. “I hadn’t expected you to do so well. It’s only your leg that’s still troubling you?”

  Lilith nodded. “But I’ll learn to cope with that. I’m glad it’s the only permanent damage left from my encounter with Kasimirh.”

  More dragons were forming a circle around her. Lilith glanced at Wigar-Dan. He looked at her with squinted eyes. Lilith sensed that he still wanted to fight her. He had been waiting for that moment for so long, and Kasimirh’s appearance hadn’t put an end to that desire. Nevertheless, he didn’t do anything.

  Hluth-Anner stepped forward. He beckoned them all to come closer.

  “Can Az-Zhara help me?” Lilith asked.

  “If that’s what you want,” Hluth-Anner answered.

  Az-Zhara accompanied her to the centre of the circle.

  Hluth-Anner murmured something, and Lilith’s feet came off the ground. The sorcerer dragon started to swim circles around her and Az-Zhara. The other sea dragons followed one by one. They all traced a different path. They swam faster and faster until all Lilith could see were blue-green stripes. She was surrounded by the soft, monotonous singing of the sea dragons. Hluth-Anner’s voice could be heard over the others. His voice became louder and softer as he swam his circles.

  Lilith felt that Hluth-Anner was trying to make her change. She looked at Az-Zhara. He gave her an encouraging nod. Lilith took a deep breath and changed. She clenched the knife that she had been given. It grew in size with her.

  The one string that still tied her to Kasimirh disappeared from sight behind the barrier of the sea dragons. The broken string started to grow. It pushed against the blue-green wall of the magic bubble, but couldn’t break through to restore the connection with Kasimirh. Now and again, the bubble trembled and there was a rumbling noise.

  Anger welled up inside Lilith. “Why can’t you just let me go?” she yelled full of determination. She grabbed the string that still connected her to Kasimirh. The broken string started to move even more violently. “You’ll regret not having left me alone!” She growled and tensed her muscles. With all her might she cut the string.

  Lilith doubled up as the pain shot through her body. She gasped for air. The string started to grow back together. She cut again, but this time with reduced power. The pain, however, wasn’t any less.

  “You can do it, Lilith,” she heard Az-Zhara say.

  Determined, Lilith clenched the knife in her claw. She raised her paw and cut the string. Electric pulses surged through her head. With the next cut, they ran down her spine. Her paws were shaking. She saw flashes in front of her eyes.

  “Go on,” she heard Az-Zhara say. “Otherwise you’ll have to start all over again.” Lilith cut. She screamed. Her body was resisting what she was doing. When she raised her paws, the pulses got worse. She couldn’t see anything because of the flashes. Panting, she collapsed. She groaned in anguish. “I hate you!” It wasn’t only directed at Kasimirh. Lilith hated herself for not being strong enough to break the bonds.

  She felt Az-Zhara wrench the knife from her claws. The pulses had become electric surges that tensed up her muscles. “Do it,” she begged Az-Zhara.

  Convulsions travelled through her body. She felt the knife touch the string. She screamed twice, and then everything around her disappeared.

  21

  Out of breath, Kasimirh collapsed onto the rug that covered the floor of his tent. He screamed. He had lost his trump card. He ha
d felt Lilith’s presence, but hadn’t been able to reach her. He had fought against the barrier that was protecting her, but he had failed. She had now completely turned her back on him and Jakob.

  Leaning heavily on his staff, he got to his feet. “Don’t think I’m giving up, Lilith!” He pulled up a chair. Before he could sit down, someone rang the little bell at the entrance of his tent. “What!?”

  Mitan entered. “Lord…”

  Kasimirh hurried towards her and slapped her in the face. “I didn’t call for you.”

  Mitan regained her balance. She curtsied. “I’m sorry, lord.” She turned around.

  Kasimirh waved his hand. The canvas transformed into a wooden wall. Shaking, Mitan turned around.

  “Lord, pl…”

  “Silence!”

  He lashed out with his staff. The gold dragon hit her on the shoulder. Mitan cried out. He hit her hip. She tried to grab on to something in order not to fall and knocked a book off the table. Kasimirh walked up to her. Mitan crawled under the table. She protected her head with her arms and rolled up into a ball. Kasimirh dragged the table aside and kicked Mitan, throwing her against the wooden wall. She was trapped. She screamed.

  “Shut up!” Kasimirh kicked her in the stomach. “Do you want everyone in Nadesh to hear that you’re being disobedient?”

  “Stop, pl…”

  “Didn’t you hear what I said?”

  She kept moaning, and he kept kicking. She fell silent, but he kept going.

  “Do as you please, lord,” she whispered at long last.

  Kasimirh looked down on her. Mitan gave him a frightened look.

  “Do as you please.”

  He placed the point of the staff on her hand and pushed down. The bones cracked. Mitan bit her lip, but couldn’t stop herself from groaning. Blood ran down her chin.

  “Clean up this mess and go wash yourself. How many times do I have to tell you that Jakob demands cleanliness under all circumstances?”

  Mitan struggled to her feet. She held her hand against her chest. She used her other hand to wipe her mouth clean. Then she curtsied. “I’m sorry, lord.”

  Kasimirh let go of the magic and left the tent. He knelt down by the Fountain.

  “Lord Jakob, I need answers from You. Tell me that Lilith isn’t important.” He stopped. He felt dizzy and grabbed hold of the edge of the column. The water ran along his fingers. “Please, tell me that this isn’t another sign.”

  Kasimirh ardently hoped that Jakob would appear to him again. That God would put his mind at ease by saying that he could succeed without Lilith.

  He sighed. If only he knew who the Judges were that Jakob had talked about. Three of the five prophecies that God had made were about them. The first two of the five prophecies had already come to pass. Old traditions had been broken now that Ferhdessar was reigning Merzia. A bloody war between the Merzians and the Jakobinians was unavoidable.

  “And after that, the Judges will turn against Jakob,” Kasimirh mumbled. The third prophecy was the most cryptic and it was the most ominous sign that the moment when Jakob was going to destroy the world was drawing near.

  Kasimirh shook his head. Lilith as a Judge. It suddenly sounded preposterous. Why had he been so easily convinced when Seraph had suggested using a dragon shifter to fight against the Naftalians?

  A few months ago, Ghideon had told Kasimirh that Seraph didn’t care about the faith at all. To him, Lilith was a weapon for his revenge on Margal’s followers. Nothing more and nothing less. To Jakob, she had been a weapon as well. One with which Kasimirh could convert the heathens. It didn’t matter that he had lost Lilith. Over the past few months, he had been fighting without her, and he had been gaining victories.

  Kasimirh was feeling somewhat better. He got up and walked back to his tent. The table was standing in place again. Mitan had disappeared. Kasimirh went to sit at the table and dipped his pen in the ink. Jakob’s stream of words that he usually wrote down at a time like this had dried up.

  He dipped his pen in the ink again and wrote a few words. He dropped the pen on the table and ripped out the page, crumpled it, and threw away the ball of paper. He hurled the book after it.

  He was wasting his time. There were no lessons left to write down. The main thing was to get the world to follow him. Instead of delegating that task to others, he was going to take matters into his own hands again.

  “Thank You, Lord, for making me see the light.”

  He left his tent for the second time and had someone drive him into the city. All the Merzians he passed paid him tribute. Kasimirh realized that he was wasting his time in Nadesh. Merzia’s capital had been turned into a Jakobinian stronghold. Everyone who didn’t believe in Jakob had been killed. The remaining citizens had taken part in the ceremonies and were either rebuilding the city or studying.

  Kasimirh yelled at the coachman to stop the horses. He got out of the carriage and walked to the edge of the rock pillar. He stared at the horizon. There was so much left to do. He considered leaving the city to convert the rest of Merzia, but decided against it. The time that he could visit towns and villages on his own was gone, and he wouldn’t be able to leave the city with a small army.

  He was eagerly looking to the south. Everything was going to be different when Tokala arrived. He was going to drive Ferhdessar out of the fortress. It was time to prepare the Merzians for the battle that was about to start. The battle during which new converts were going to have to fight their own families and friends. Tonight, he was going to test the Merzians’ faith.

  Ghalatea stretched her back as her eyes followed a butterfly flying from one rose to another. A bee was diligently crawling across a lupine to gather pollen. The Ancilla Princeps sunk back to her knees to cut away the dead flowers and pull out the weeds. The sun was warming her back.

  Now that Ghalatea was no longer a washerwoman, but a gardener, it was easier to come to terms with her new life. Camp life proceeded at an unhurried pace. The lessons she had to follow were interesting. She wasn’t allowed to go outside the walls of the park, but life inside the park was good. Increasingly often, Ghalatea was carefree and enjoyed herself.

  She got up, lifted the basket with the dead flowers, and walked to the compost heap. Around her, people were working hard to keep everything in the camp going. Some women were cooking dinner over a campfire. Ghalatea stopped to talk to them. Meanwhile, she peeked inside the pot. They were having poultry again.

  As Ghalatea was thinking to herself that the food they were served wasn’t extremely varied, she realized that she heard no birdsong in the park. When she had walked out here in the past, the trees had always been full of birds. It was a shame that this was the downside of having so many mouths to feed. Because of Ferhdessar’s siege on the city, no new supplies came in, so Kasimirh was right to have the birds shot to feed his followers.

  Ghalatea said goodbye to the women and continued on her way. Dinak walked up to her. The woman was beaming. She took the basket from Ghalatea.

  “Come, we must hurry,” she said excitedly.

  “Why?” asked Ghalatea.

  “Tonight, there’s a special service in this camp. Lord Kasimirh will be conducting the service himself.”

  Dinak emptied the basket on the compost heap and led the way to the tent where the women could wash themselves. The tent was getting more and more crowded. Everyone – Merzians as well as Naftalians – was talking about the service. Buckets of warm water were carried inside.

  Dinak seized Ghalatea’s arms and dragged her along. “Come, we need to get prepared. The sooner we’re ready, the closer we can get to Kasimirh.”

  Ghalatea nodded.

  Dinak and Ghalatea thoroughly washed themselves at the buckets. They threw their clothes in the laundry baskets. The Ancilla Princeps put on a clean dress. Dinak handed her a veil.

  “I’m sure Kasimirh will love this one. Clear blue, just like the water from Jakob’s Fountain.”

  Ghalatea draped the veil ar
ound her head. Dinak looked at her and adjusted the veil. Then she got dressed as well. She spun around in front of Ghalatea. Her skirt whirled around her legs.

  “What do you think?”

  “You look beautiful,” Ghalatea answered. She laughed at Dinak’s excitement.

  Dinak smoothed down her skirt. “Really? Or should I wear that green dress?” She grabbed the green garment before anyone else could take it and held it up. After looking at it, she held it in front of herself to show it to Ghalatea.

  “I like them both,” the Ancilla Princeps said. She pushed Dinak onto a wooden bench and combed her hair.

  “It’s been so long since I saw him last,” Dinak cooed. “It’s such an honour that he’s coming here tonight to conduct the service.”

  After plaiting Dinak’s hair, they left the tent. From all corners, people came flocking towards the field where the service was to be held. They all came much earlier than they normally would. Everybody wanted to secure a good spot. Dinak dragged Ghalatea through the crowd of people until they were close to the stage. She ignored other people’s objections.

  It was dusk when the gates to the park finally opened. A carriage rode into the camp. Everyone around Ghalatea was getting nervous. Children went to stand on tiptoe in order to see Kasimirh. The smallest ones were lifted by their mothers and the odd father.

  Everyone fell quiet when the prophet got out of the carriage. He was welcomed by the priest who usually conducted the services in the camp. They briefly talked to each other. Kasimirh nodded. His face looked tense. With big strides he walked up to the stage. The believers swarmed forwards. Some of them reached out to touch the prophet. Kasimirh ignored it all.

  A dark-skinned woman laboriously climbed out of the carriage. She was wearing a beautiful gown and an azure-blue stole. Her hand was splinted. The priest bowed for her. She gave him a coy smile and followed Kasimirh.