Born in Light

by Kim ten Tusscher

  “Lord Kasimirh has brought Mitan with him,” Dinak whispered full of awe. “She’s the prophet’s personal student because she familiarized herself with the lessons at record speed. She’s an example to us all.” There was envy in Dinak’s voice.

  Mitan conducted the better part of the service. Kasimirh kept to the background. Only when all the daily rituals had been performed did he step forwards.

  “Are you worried about your loved ones?”

  The Merzian Jakobinians nodded. For the first time in a long while, Ghalatea thought of Rogan. She closed her eyes and staggered. Her hand reached for the little bottle that she always carried with her. It contained the potion of oblivion that she so gratefully had accepted. A woman near Ghalatea sobbed. She quickly wiped away her tears, but straight away new ones ran down her cheeks.

  “I worry about them, too. It’s horrible that they may die without having had the opportunity to convert. Believe me, Jakob never wanted it to be this way.”

  The prophet knelt by the edge of the stage and grabbed the hand of the crying woman.

  Ghalatea was pushed by people behind her who were trying to get closer to the stage. The Ancilla Princeps wanted to reach out her hand towards Kasimirh. She wanted to be consoled by his touch, too. Unfortunately, he was just outside her reach.

  “Believe me,” Kasimirh said, while looking the woman in the eye. “If there were a way to convince people of Jakob’s existence without going to battle, I would grab that opportunity with both hands. I want to give life to your loved ones and your family. Just like I gave life to you. A life that is good in this world, but perhaps even better after death. For that’s Jakob’s gift to his loyal followers, and He chose me to bestow that gift upon the people.”

  Dinak put a hand on Ghalatea’s arm and smiled at her. A tear was running down her cheek. Kasimirh let go of the woman’s hand and got up.

  “I swear in the name of Jakob that I tried to convert Merzia without the use of violence. Just like I brought Jakob’s message to the towns and villages of Naftalia, I sent lord Yvar several gifts, among which was Jakob’s book. Your king was a righteous and intelligent man. I’m convinced that he was prepared to talk to me and perhaps even serve as an example for the new religion. Unfortunately, Ferhdessar influenced him with a completely different message. It’s this sorcerer, who has seized power over Merzia, who is responsible for the war!”

  Ghalatea looked around. The differences between the Naftalians and Merzians in the camp had all but disappeared. Ghalatea could tell the different groups apart by their faces, but every one of them was vehemently nodding their assent. Full of admiration they looked upon the charismatic man who was inciting their anger towards Ferhdessar. Her anger drowned out Ghalatea’s worries about Rogan. She had always been on her guard around Ferhdessar. Kasimirh now confirmed that she had been right all along.

  “It’s a disgrace that Ferhdessar gets to determine the fate of so many. Who gave him that right? His so-called Gods?” Kasimirh shook his head. “We all know that they don’t exist. So, why on earth would he be entitled to impose his will on Merzia?”

  Kasimirh walked along the stage, as if waiting for an answer. Someone shouted something.

  “Indeed,” said Kasimirh. “He isn’t. Nothing or nobody gave him the right to rule over the Merzians.”

  He stopped walking and stared at the ground. Then he looked up. He looked distressed. “There’s so little time left,” he said with regret in his voice. “So little time before Jakob destroys the world. There’ll be floods that will even wash away mountains. We’re all going to drown. No one will escape Jakob’s wrath once the time has come.”

  A few women screamed. Dinak started to pray. Kasimirh waited for the crowd to calm down.

  “Jakob told me five prophecies. When all five of them have come to pass, He’ll destroy the world. Two prophecies have already come true.”

  “Tell us about the prophecies,” someone yelled.

  Ghalatea nodded. She wanted to know as well.

  Kasimirh raised his hands and everyone became quiet. “Jakob told me that age-old traditions would be broken. Ferhdessar now sits on Merzia’s throne. He’s the first Merzian ruler who has not inherited the throne and hasn’t been appointed by God. Subsequently, the resistance against Jakob will increase. Bitter wars will be fought against the freedom that we want to bestow onto mankind.”

  Kasimirh clenched his fists and paced up and down the stage. “Unfortunately, I don’t know if the third prophecy has already been put in motion. Only when the fourth prophecy comes true, I’ll know that the Judges have turned against God.” He looked up. It was now almost completely dark. Stars were twinkling in the cloudless sky. “Jakob will make his own voice heard when the fourth prophecy comes true. It’ll keep raining. Rivers will flood. This will be a clear sign.”

  He stopped and let his gaze wander through the crowd. “When the fifth prophecy comes to pass, the destruction of the world will be unavoidable. Ferhdessar will do everything in his power to make it happen. It’s the death of Jakob’s prophet that will set everything in motion. Water will destroy all living creatures.”

  “He won’t win,” someone shouted.

  “Death to the sorcerer!” a woman behind Ghalatea screamed.

  “In the name of Jakob we will win,” Dinak and a few others chanted. The people around Ghalatea were all grim-faced. Ferhdessar could not be allowed to win. The world could not be destroyed. The Ancilla Princeps agreed wholeheartedly.

  “Let us pray,” said Kasimirh. He knelt and held the hands of the woman who had been crying about her loved ones. The women next to her wrapped their arms around her and knelt. Dinak put her arm around Ghalatea’s shoulder and pulled her down to the ground. Kasimirh led them in a prayer, asking God for a quick victory over Ferhdessar. Ghalatea closed her eyes. She had never felt this connected to the people around her. It was as if Kasimirh was whispering in her ear, promising to spare Rogan. Tears were running down her face as she bent even closer to the ground.

  22

  Lilith trudged along in the heat. The light was so bright that she hardly saw anything, but it felt as if her skin was ablaze. Her mouth was as dry as dust. She couldn’t swallow.

  A breeze rose up, carrying even more heat. Sand chafed her naked, sore body. Her feet hurt more with every step she took. It was as if she was walking through flames. Lilith fell and blindly groped around. There was nothing but sand, so hot that it burned her fingers. She wanted to scream, but her mouth was too dry.

  “Lilith?”

  What was Almor doing here? Lilith opened her eyes, but the light was blinding. It made her headache even worse. Her father soothed her.

  “What are you doing here?” she asked in a hoarse voice.

  There was no answer, so she opened her eyes a little more. Almor was leaning over her. She didn’t see anything else. “Have you died, too?” she asked.

  He shook his head.

  “Where am I?” she asked in confusion. She tried to sit up, but Almor stopped her.

  “You’re in Az-Zhara’s house,” he said reassuringly.

  Only now did Lilith realize that it was the cold stinging her face and not the heat. She felt the soft hides that she was wrapped up in. She heaved a sigh of relief.

  Lilith tried to sit up again, but Almor still wouldn’t let her. “Were you having another nightmare?”

  Lilith nodded.

  “I thought they would have stopped by now.”

  “Me too, but this one was worse than ever.”

  Jakob was warning her that the road she had chosen was leading her straight to hell. Now that she had turned away from Him, He spoke to her clearer than ever. Just like Kasimirh, who had towered over her whenever she had spoken before her turn and had kicked her in the ribs, Jakob was now trying to lure her back through fear. It was very tempting to give in. The road that Lilith had chosen wasn’t any easier and definitely less certain than the one that Jakob had wanted her to take.

&nb
sp; Lilith sat up. She wasn’t letting go of the feeling that had been slumbering in her heart ever since she had destroyed the stone. The spark of freedom that gave her hope. The little flame that seemed to make everything just a tiny bit softer and lighter. Smiling, she looked at Almor. “I feel a lot better now that the ties with Kasimirh have been broken.”

  “I can tell. You’re even glowing.”

  A clicking noise drew Lilith’s attention. She looked past Almor at Az-Zhara who was working on the wall with the mosaics. He was crouched over a wooden bin, playing around with some stones in his hands.

  “What’s he doing?”

  Almor pulled her up. “You’ll want to see this.”

  Lilith smiled, because her father kept holding her as they walked over to Az-Zhara. She decided not to say anything, even though she was perfectly able to walk by herself.

  Az-Zhara looked over his shoulder. “Are you finally awake?” he asked. He let the stones slide back into the bin and walked away. “I’ll make you both a place to sit.”

  “How long have I been asleep, anyway?”

  “For almost three days,” Almor answered.

  Lilith looked at the wall. A black dragon confirmed her father’s words. Az-Zhara couldn’t have made this in a few hours.

  Az-Zhara returned with a pile of hides. “I’m sorry that I had to hurt you so badly.”

  “I’m grateful,” Lilith said as she sat down. “Thanks to you, Kasimirh doesn’t hold power over me any more.”

  “For a brief moment I even thought that I had killed you,” Az-Zhara said.

  Lilith thought back to her nightmare. “Luckily, you didn’t.”

  Az-Zhara nodded and walked back to the wall. He grabbed a hot towel and rubbed it over the ice, making it melt a little.

  “And? What do you think?” Almor asked, pointing at the mosaic.

  Lilith smiled. “It’s beautiful.”

  Az-Zhara took a few steps back and nodded approvingly. He grabbed another handful of stones and continued working. Almor draped a hide around Lilith’s shoulders and sat down next to her.

  Lilith followed Az-Zhara’s movement as he pushed more and more stones into the ice. Barely visible clouds took shape against the blue sky. Lilith looked at the other mosaics. Az-Zhara had depicted icebergs in his self-portrait. The landscape behind Wigar-Dan looked a lot like Naftalia.

  “Why did you choose this background?” Lilith asked.

  “Almor did,” Az-Zhara answered.

  “I wanted a lot of sky in your background, because it stands for freedom. And on the ground, there’ll be some flowers, as a reference to the future your mother envisioned for you.”

  Lilith smiled. “What did Ludmilla think about me being a dragon woman?”

  “It didn’t matter to her. You are who you are. She loved you more than me.” Almor fell silent. “You’re determined to fight Kasimirh, aren’t you?”

  Lilith nodded.

  “I thought about it, and I understand now why you have to do this. Hopefully, you’ll truly find peace after that.”

  Lilith turned her head to look at her father. “And I understand you as well.”

  He nodded. “I want to give you something that you can use for your amulet.” He removed something from his neck and stared at it. There was a little bottle on a gold chain in his hand. “This is the marital bottle that Ludmilla gave me. Do you know the custom?”

  Lilith shook her head. Almor explained that a man and a woman gave this bottle to each other on their wedding day. It contained the memory of the vows they made to each other, together with some herbs to endorse the vows.

  “It’s the only thing I have left of her. Once, I came close to trading it for food, but I decided that I’d rather starve then give this bottle away.” He clutched the bottle and hesitated. Then he put it into Lilith’s hand and closed her fingers around it.

  “I can’t accept this,” Lilith whispered. “She gave it to you.”

  “Ludmilla gave me something else. Now that I have you back, I don’t need this any more.” Almor stared into the distance. “I touch you, deeper than your skin. Don’t be afraid, I will cherish you. I’ll love you for who you are on the inside. That was the promise she committed to this bottle. Use it for your amulet and you’ll always carry her love with you.”

  Lilith hugged him. “I don’t know how to thank you.”

  Almor patted her on the back. “Just go with Az-Zhara.”

  ”Did you bring something that we can use for the amulet?” Hluth-Anner asked?

  Lilith showed him the little bottle. Then she pulled up her sleeve and removed the bracelet that had been Chrys’s. “You can use this as well.”

  Az-Zhara wanted to take the objects from her, but Lilith held them against her chest. She looked at him as she told Hluth-Anner: “I want Az-Zhara to do it.”

  “Didn’t I already tell you that I can’t do magic?” Az-Zhara said.

  Lilith nodded. “But I don’t want to be bound to a sorcerer that I don’t really know, even if it’s a dragon this time.” She turned to face Hluth-Anner. “I don’t mean to offend you, but this is important to me. Ferhdessar wasn’t a sorcerer by birth either. So, Az-Zhara should be able to learn as well.”

  “Ferhdessar and all the others who have learned still need to have an aptitude for magic. And even then, it takes them years to get the hang of it,” Hluth-Anner said. “Do you really expect me to be able to teach Az-Zhara magic in a few minutes?”

  “All Az-Zhara needs to know is how to give me an amulet. There must be a way.”

  Hluth-Anner thought deeply.

  “I hope you don’t mind that I want this,” Lilith whispered to Az-Zhara.

  He shook his head.

  “You told me about the first time you changed,” Hluth-Anner said. “Did it take Kasimirh many attempts before he succeeded?”

  Lilith nodded.

  “Tell me more about it.”

  “At first, he tried it once a week. A higher frequency wasn’t possible, because I kept losing consciousness. When things started to improve, he called for me several times a week. And in the end we practised daily.” Lilith was fiddling with the chain of the marital bottle. She didn’t like remembering this. Az-Zhara put his hand on her shoulder.

  “Were there others present?” Hluth-Anner asked.

  “Well, once Seraph came in. That was during one of the first attempts. Kasimirh went berserk and chased him away.” Lilith bit her lip. “I remember feeling disappointed that he had to leave. I was frightened by what Kasimirh was doing to me and hoped that Seraph would protect me.”

  “I think that Kasimirh was afraid that Seraph could make you change sooner than he could himself,” said Hluth-Anner. “Because that would probably have bound you to Seraph.”

  Lilith shivered at the thought. As a child, she had trusted Seraph. But now she knew better.

  Hluth-Anner continued: “I can’t teach Az-Zhara to make an amulet, but he can be the one to think up the incantation and make you change with it. I have to admit that I’m not sure if this is going to work, but your story strengthens my suspicions.”

  Lilith nodded. She handed Az-Zhara the bottle and the bracelet. He put them down on the ground and took a few steps back, taking Lilith with him.

  The two objects started to float. An orange beam shot up out of the ground and melted them together. The flame retreated, but small electric discharges coiled around the metal and the bolts of lightning created a brooch. The circle was open on one side. The lower half was a darker colour and didn’t shine, but halfway up, the silver was shining. The bolts of lightning moved to the middle of the brooch and darted towards the opening in the metal. A needle in the shape of a dragon’s head appeared. The mouth of the dragon clasped the brooch.

  “Now it’s your turn, Az-Zhara,” Hluth-Anner said.

  Az-Zhara held out his hand, and the brooch floated towards him. At the same time a blanket descended onto Lilith’s shoulders. Az-Zhara pinned down the brooch and covere
d it with his hand.

  “Qi stai qi, qi becouhme a drag,” he said slowly.

  Lilith smiled at the incantation he had come up with. She felt her body change. For the first time in her life it didn’t hurt. Az-Zhara changed with her.

  “Thank you,” she whispered.

  Az-Zhara nodded. Then he looked at Hluth-Anner. “Did it work?”

  The sorcerer dragon smiled. “I think so.” He pointed at something and disappeared. Lilith looked down. A hardly visible string ran between her chest and Az-Zhara’s. Lilith carefully touched it. She expected it to hurt, but nothing happened.

  She spread her wings and flapped them. The membrane caught the resistance of the air. She stretched her leg and studied her claws. They looked as dangerous as ever. She looked at her scales and belly. Then she cast a glance at Az-Zhara.

  “And? Do I look like your depiction of me?”

  “You look more beautiful,” he said without hesitation.

  Lilith folded her wings around her body and changed back. Az-Zhara did the same.

  Lilith took a step towards him. “Thank you for helping me,” she said softly. She stood on tiptoe and kissed him on his jaw. She blushed and bowed her head.

  “I’m honoured that you chose me,” Az-Zhara said.

  He placed his hand against her cheek. Lilith looked up. His face was very close. Az-Zhara waited a second before he pressed his lips onto her mouth. Lilith answered his kiss. Her breathing quickened and she closed her eyes.

  She had felt this before. That was when she had dreamed that Jakob visited her. Now it was even more intense, because she gave in to the feeling. Az-Zhara got through to her soul, but instead of hurting her, he cherished her. She had suspected it, but it overwhelmed her to find out that it was true.

  Az-Zhara pulled her closer. Lilith rested her head on his shoulder. She was safe here. If need be, he would even protect her from Jakob.

  23

  Ferhdessar stopped at the entrance to the temple. He looked down at the square where the soldiers had gathered. They had attended a service in the name of Jakob and were on their way back to the barracks for dinner. That morning, there had been a service in the name of Phoibos. Twice a day, there were services for the Gods. Only Wigg and Gaia were praised with longer rituals on two separate days.