Pain Seeker (The New Orleans Shade Book 1)

by D. N. Hoxa

  I almost laughed.

  “Please,” said the King. “Be my guests.”

  And with that, he turned around, and his guards followed him outside the hall without a word.

  The doors closed. The walls of the room began to freeze. You could never tell that my father was even letting out his magic, but he was. He was making sure that we were safe from spying ears, and in less than ten seconds, a thin layer of magical ice covered every inch of the hall’s walls, windows, and doors.

  I looked up at my father, and all the hatred I felt for him resurfaced. Nothing held me back—nothing tried to. Had I really been so desperate to go home, just a few days ago, to see this man again?

  Why?

  I didn’t want to have anything to do with him. He did me a favor when he sent me off to the Winter Shade.

  “What are you doing here?” I said, clenching my hands into fists. He was still the most powerful man I knew. He could freeze me in any season like it was the middle of winter, and there would be nothing I could do about it.

  “I was invited by that old fool. He wants to celebrate the end of winter!” He laughed again, and this time it actually sounded worse. “Have you heard a more absurd thing?”

  “He wants to honor you,” I said in wonder. But I couldn’t find the reason why.

  “Because he wants something from me,” my father said and walked around the chairs to get closer to me. I held my ground and kept my eyes on his. “He wants you.”

  “And you want something from him.” Which was the only reason he’d bother to come here in the first place. When had he come? Why hadn’t anybody told me? All my men had been here, by the gods. Why were they so loyal to this man?

  “Of course, I do. I want you to behave exactly like you should tonight, Maceno. A great deal depends on it,” he said, rubbing his hands together as he looked out the window to our side.

  “What does?”

  “Not for you to know.”

  I raised my brows. “Then why would you expect me to agree to it?”

  This time, when he looked at me, emotion slipped past his perfect facade for only a second. I saw it. Confusion.

  “Because I order you to,” he whispered, then proceeded to analyze my face, as if he were seeing me for the first time.

  “You ordered me to leave my home and spend the year in the Shade with the worst men you could find in your army. You ordered me to keep my mouth shut, my head down, my sword raised. I’ve done it all.” Because there was nothing else I could do. Because…because I hadn’t wanted to, until Taran healed me. I’d been so desperate to go home, make peace with my father…for what?

  “What has gotten into you, Maceno?” my father whispered, coming closer to me.

  I smiled. “On the contrary. It feels like something has gotten out of me, lately.” I rolled my shoulders around for show. “It feels pretty good, to be frank.”

  It was him. I knew it in my heart, and I didn’t need anyone to tell me. Whatever had been wrong with me since I came to the Shade, whatever Taran had healed, it had been my father’s doing.

  The look in his eyes was murderous. I’d seen it many times before—when I first disobeyed him, when I refused to kill elves just because they were elves. When he chained me in the vaulted chambers below his castle and tortured me for days because he thought I needed to be taught a lesson—as well as my brothers. He had that same look on him now.

  “Don’t play games with me, boy,” he said, the air leaving his mouth ice cold. It froze on the surface of my face when it reached me, and he kept on coming closer. I refused to move away. “You are my blood, but that won’t stop me from freezing your heart and crushing it right now. Obey me or die.”

  I wanted to die.

  No…I had wanted to die. So much that I’d hoped an elf slave would find a way out of her chains and end me.

  But now, things had changed. Everything was different.

  So, I swallowed my pride. “What do you want from King Aurant?”

  “I want him to think that you are what you are not. Loyal, trustworthy—a prince. And when you do that tonight, tomorrow, I’ll tell you what you want to know,” he said, never blinking. We were close enough that I could see my reflection in his eyes perfectly. And I hated it. I looked so much like him, it made me nauseous.

  “Tomorrow,” I said, and before I did something stupid, I turned around to leave. I was done with this man for a whole lifetime.

  “Maceno,” my father called, and I tried to fight my own body when it stopped moving, but it was useless. You can’t change something within minutes that’s been part of you your whole life, no matter how strong the will. “Do I need to remind you of what happens when you cross me?”

  “No. I remember.” Every second. Every drop of blood he took from me. Every cut on my skin and every word he ever spoke in that chamber. I remembered it all.

  “Good. Because it will be far worse the second time,” he said, and when I turned to look at him, he was grinning ear to ear, like he was talking to his enemy, not his son. Slowly, he walked toward me, hands behind him, his velvet jacket that reached down to the back of his knees moving from side to side. “Be on your way now. And take a bath. I don’t know what that dumb whore saw in you, but you better hope she sees it again.” And he walked out of the door.

  Pieces of ice fell from the walls and the door, now that his magic no longer sustained it. Squeezing my eyes shut, I called to the gods for patience. Tonight would be miserable, but it would pass. And tomorrow, once I knew what my father wanted, I could deal with him and King Aurant accordingly—or die trying.

  Chapter 24

  The reflection in the mirror showed a man dressed in rich fabrics—soft cotton and satin, a silver handkerchief in the breast pocket of his jacket. I touched it and thought of Taran, all alone in my room, probably staring out at the sky. She always did that. She was always looking out, like she was yearning for freedom, yet when I offered it, she threw it away. I had been so nervous, like I was offering her my life to do with it as she pleased, and no matter how much of a monster it made me, I’d felt relieved when she’d refused. If she left, if she disappeared, how would I ever see her again?

  I’d picked that handkerchief because its color reminded me of her hair. Everything reminded me of her all day, and the overwhelming desire to just sit somewhere in a corner and think of her was ridiculous. How come nothing else could keep my attention so fully?

  The mirror made me look like a calm man, ready to face the world with my sword raised, but I was anything but calm. A storm brewed inside me, and I feared what would happen once it exploded.

  When there was a knock on the door and Trinam walked in, I was glad it was a familiar face. Anything to help me focus on important things. My father, the Winter King Caidenus, was here in the same castle with me, and I was going to see him. Not only that, but my brothers Ethonas and Arin were here, too. That was something I needed to focus on.

  “Look at you, handsome as the fae devil,” said Trinam with a grin.

  “You don't look so bad yourself.” He was dressed to party, and unlike me, he couldn’t wait to start already.

  “You’ll change your mind when you see what I have here.” He showed me a black velvet box that he’d been hiding behind his back. I flinched involuntarily. “Don’t fucking do that. Don’t look so disappointed,” my friend said and opened the box to reveal what I already knew was inside: my coronet.

  “Where did you get this?” I tried not to sound too irritated for his sake, but I couldn’t help myself. The headband was designed for me from our Court’s best smiths. It was a simple headband with the emblem of my Court in the middle of it, just like I’d chosen back when I lived at home. My brothers and I were not obligated to wear the coronet anywhere other than big gatherings and celebrations. I should have known to expect it. If my father was here personally, and the Summer King as well, it brought this whole event several scales up in the eyes of the world.

  “Arin.
He said to give it to you before Ethonas found it and destroyed it. Go ahead, put it on. I’ve always liked how it looks on you,” Trinam said and put the coronet over my head.

  Once upon a time, it had been comfortable. I had barely noticed the metal wrapped around my head. I hadn't minded the itch on my forehead because of it, either.

  Now, it felt foreign. Something that didn’t belong to me anymore. Something that wasn’t me. I looked at the mirror again, and it was hard not to look disappointed. My hair was combed back, much like my father’s, except mine would never stay in place like that. It was too wild, so a leather tie was a must. With the coronet on me, I looked exactly like I thought I would—a different person, one I’d left behind a year ago, in my father's castle.

  “There. Now I’m going to escort you to Princess Ulana’s room, and I can finally go drink some wine. Come on, I have ladies to dance with. And fuck. Just keep walking,” he said, pulling me by the arm.

  I did walk but not before I took the coronet off and threw it on the bed. I wasn’t going to wear that thing tonight, even if its absence killed me.

  Trinam was shocked. His mouth opened to argue with me, but the look on my face must have changed his mind. Or his hurry to get to the party, get drunk and dance with Autumn fae. Either way, it worked for me.

  I left the room they’d given me behind—as fancy as the rest of the castle and the clothes their tailors had made for me for tonight—and I made my way down the long hallway with Trinam by my side. Soldiers were stationed on either side, every few feet, holding their spears, their swords sheathed, as was mine around my hips. They didn’t bat an eye while we passed, as still as the walls behind them.

  “Don’t mess this up, Mace,” Trinam said under his breath when we reached the main stairway and the hallway to the other side of the castle where the Autumn royals were staying. There were twice as many soldiers guarding it, but none of them stopped us when we walked through. “I mean it. We want to go home, remember? Home.”

  “You can go home tonight, if you wish. I’ll relieve you of your duties, effective immediately.” And I would, if that was what he wanted.

  “Nonsense. I don’t want to go home alone. You’re coming with me—and I just know it, Mace. I’ve got a feeling. If the King is here, good things are coming.”

  He had no idea what he was talking about, but ruining his mood for the night would be pointless, so I kept my mouth shut. We’d already arrived at the chambers of Ulana.

  Without waiting for me to even compose myself, Trinam knocked. The door opened in a heartbeat. A woman stood before us, smiling brightly, cheeks pink and hands slightly shaking. She looked young, possibly in her teens, and the dress she wore with a white apron over it said she was the help.

  And she couldn’t be happier that we were there.

  “My, my,” said Ulana from the middle of the room. She smiled sweetly, but her eyes were anything but sweet. The dress she wore was a midnight blue that wanted to look black every time she moved. It hugged her curves perfectly, and the wide sleeves of it fell all the way down to her knees. There was a slit in them to enable her to use her hands, and she held them folded in front of her stomach, as a lady should.

  She looked every bit the princess that she was, up to the sparkling golden tiara somehow wrapped in her braided hair.

  “You look very handsome tonight, my prince,” she said as she bowed, and the other three women who were there with her, did the same. The girl who’d opened the door seemed to remember she hadn’t, so she blushed again, and she lowered her head.

  “And you look beautiful, Princess Ulana. As always,” I said and reached out for her hand. I kissed the back of it and reminded myself what I was doing it for. I was required to be on my best behavior tonight, and by the gods, I would be. I would find out what my father wanted from this tomorrow.

  Ulana giggled, covering her red lips with her fingers. “Such a charmer.” Her maids giggled with her, like it was such a rare occurrence for the princess to get a compliment.

  “Shall we?” I put her hand on my forearm. I was ready to get the night started. Ready to have it end.

  “You’re very eager,” Ulana said, then waved at her maids. “Rest, my dears. I shall see you in a few hours.” They all bowed their heads once more.

  The grin on Trinam’s face as he admired Ulana’s shape said exactly what he thought of it. And when he looked at me, I widened my eyes, just a bit, to tell him to get his act together.

  Once he realized what he was doing, he cleared his throat and straightened. “Right, then, I believe you know the way to the party yourselves.” He bowed in front of us. “My prince, my princess.”

  And he practically ran away down the hall, leaving Ulana laughing.

  “I understand he’s a friend of yours," she said. The heels of her shoes pierced the marble with every step she took, demanding attention.

  “Since we were children,” I said with a nod. “He’s the best man I know.”

  “I’d love to get to know him better, then,” she said, holding her chin up. She walked like she owned the world—and in a way, she did. At least this part of the world. “I was very excited to hear that you wanted to escort me to this celebration.”

  My first instinct was to think that she’d been lied to, but no. Knowing how she’d told her father about me the last time we’d met, I suspected she knew very well that I hadn’t been the one to ask for this.

  I indulged her. “And I was very excited to hear that you’d accepted.”

  “How could I not? You just might be the only fae in Gaena more handsome than your father,” she said with a laugh. I pressed my lips into a smile. She thought she was complimenting me. She was only making me like her less than I already did.

  “I’m glad you think so,” was all I said, and luckily, the music from the hall grew so loud that we couldn’t talk even if we wanted to. We made our way down the main stairway.

  A lot of people descended the stairs, dressed in their best outfits, Winter, Summer and Autumn fae, coming from all five floors of the castle. They all smiled, and the energy that surrounded them was positive. I wished I could tap into it. I wished I could feel as free as they were feeling, not trapped in those clothes, to this woman, to my father.

  But once we entered the hall, there were plenty of distractions—for both me and Ulana, who took great joy in smiling and nodding at every person who made way for us and bowed their heads to her. She loved every second of it with the same intensity I hated it.

  The Autumn King had outdone himself this time. The last party had been fancy, but this time, it was something else entirely. There were dancers, there was a ten-man band playing all kinds of instruments, there were flowers, balloons, and ribbons, and so much glitter on dresses and suits that it made me a bit dizzy. Too much color. Reds and oranges dominated the entire room, and then there were dark colors, blacks and browns and grays, marking every person here that came from the Winter Court. And there were quite a lot of them.

  My father already sat at the table at the head of the room. Beside him was the Summer King Solinnar and King Aurant, followed by the Queen, and the rest of his family. To the other side of them sat two Summer princes, and my own brothers. The two chairs in between them and one of Ulana’s sisters were empty. That would be where we would sit. At least I wouldn’t be facing my father directly.

  It took us a good while to get to the table because Ulana wanted to walk as slowly as possible, making sure she was seen by everyone perfectly. And everyone saw her. She was beautiful, nobody could deny that, and the coldness to her eyes and her gestures were worthy of a Winter royal. My mother would love her.

  When we finally sat down after bowing down to the three kings of the faefolk, I thought it would be a little easier. The table was decorated with golden leaves, the dishes engraved with golden vines, the cups made out of solid gold, too. My father was happy that I was there, and if he noticed that I had chosen not to wear my coronet, he made no mention of it.<
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  Even Arin was excited to see me, though Ethonas didn’t even look my way. They were both wearing their own coronets, as were the children of the other kings. By not wanting to draw attention to myself, I’d made sure to stand out among them all, and I did not like it.

  But the music was loud, and Ulana more than eager to talk, to tell me about everything she did when she was back home, in the heart of the Autumn Court, and so all I had to do was nod and smile.

  Soon, the night would be over.

  The night wasn’t over yet.

  “Dance with me,” Ulana said, and she didn’t allow me to answer. She grabbed my hand instead and pulled me. If I’d pulled her back, she would have fallen—possibly on my chest, and by now, there was no doubt in my mind that she would find a way to take advantage of that. So, I chose the lesser of two evils.

  On the dance floor, people moved away from us to give us space. I wished they would pretend we were just like them—because we were. All fae, all celebrating, all drunk.

  I’d drunk four glasses of wine just to be able to cope with the ridiculousness of this party. I’d done my best to avoid my father’s eyes and succeeded for the most part, but now that he was here, and he seemed to have accepted being with me in the same place, my brother Arin couldn’t stand in one place long enough. He suddenly wanted to know everything—about the Shade and the battles we’d fought and how I was training my battalion—all the details. I didn’t mind him at first, but by the third hour, it all got too much.

  The dance was over relatively quickly. The purpose of it was for Ulana to show her dress to everyone, as if they hadn’t already seen it. But when the dance was over, she wanted to show me something in the castle again.

  How could I say no?

  I was forced to follow her, outside of the hall, and down a semi-dark corridor to the other side of the castle. I thought she would take me to the same tree she had last time, but no. Now, she took us down a flight of stairs, half hidden by a doorway behind the main stairway. There were soldiers there, too, impersonating walls, pretending we weren’t there at all.