Pain Seeker (The New Orleans Shade Book 1)

by D. N. Hoxa

  By the time we were halfway down the stairs, we could no longer hear the music at all.

  “Why do you have your sword with you, Mace?” Ulana asked. “This is a party, not a battle.”

  “Because I’m a soldier, and a soldier never parts with his sword.” And because I didn’t trust a single soul in this entire castle, other than Trinam and Storm.

  Ulana laughed. “I like your philosophy, Prince Mace. You never cease to surprise me,” she said, lowering her voice as she wrapped her fingers in mine.

  “Where are we going?” I said, and it took all I had not to jerk my hand away.

  “You’ll see,” she said with a chuckle and took me down the narrow corridor, where only two soldiers stood guard. At the end of it was a wide door made of light wood, and she stopped in front of it. One of the soldiers came rushing forward, but she held up her hand without turning her head. “We’re fine.” The soldier stopped walking instantly. “Mace, do you mind?” she asked me, waving at the door.

  I opened it. It was much heavier than it looked, and behind it was a different world altogether.

  The worry tree she’d taken me to last time was nothing compared to this. There were no trees here, but there were plants, so many of them you’d think you were in a jungle. The room was wide and round and had a ceiling made out of glass panels. On them hung all kinds of plants and flowers, some reaching all the way to the ground, the tips of their leaves brushing against the dirt. A narrow pathway slithered its way to the center, going all around the flowers and the bushes, as if not to disrupt their natural pattern.

  And in the middle of it all was a round pool, bigger than any I’d ever seen before.

  “Come on, look inside,” Ulana said, and she threw her shoes to the side, one of them landing in the middle of a bush, before she ran up to the water. She wrapped the sleeves of her dress in her hand and sat down on the concrete bench that circled the pool. Her free hand dipped into it, and ripples began to disrupt the calm surface as her magic made its way deeper into the pool. I went closer, curiosity getting the best of me, and I saw the orange lights ignite at the bottom—which was way deeper than I could have imagined.

  Then, the creatures started swimming.

  They weren’t exactly fish, but they were similar. They all came to the surface at once, like Ulana’s magic had woken them and now they were eager to play. Before I knew it, small fish the size of my fingers were jumping out of the water and going back in again. Others with arms like feathered wings stuck their heads out of the surface for a second, and their huge eyes seemed to stare right at me.

  I went closer to the bench, mesmerized by the rapid movements of all these creatures—and the bigger ones that looked almost like octopuses, except as far as I could tell, they had two extra legs that disappeared as fast as they appeared. And the tips of those legs glowed with orange light.

  “Put your hand in. Give them your magic,” Ulana said, smiling widely as she watched me. For once, I didn’t mind at all. I was too focused on the fish, and when I put my fingers in the ice-cold water, I released my magic.

  Ripples in the water again. The lights that were coming from some of the creatures began to change. They turned to purple, then they glowed blue. It was almost like being on Earth again, in the New Orleans Shade with Taran.

  She would love this place. All the flowers hanging over my head, the dark sky behind the glass ceiling, the massive pool and all its creatures, jumping, swimming, swirling in the water. She would absolutely love it, and I hated that I couldn’t show her.

  “What are they?” I asked Ulana. Fishes in the Winter Court didn’t glow that I knew of.

  “Creatures of the Atapher,” she said. “My father sent an expedition to catch them. They have the power to manipulate water like nobody else. It’s how he keeps the water running all around this place.” And here I’d thought he was using machinery.

  The Atapher was an ocean. Out of the three in Gaena, it was the largest—unexplored, completely ruthless to sea men. Half of it fell in the elflands, and the other half in the faelands, but no Court could claim it. A long time ago, according to history books, the fae had tried to explore it, to find some way to benefit from it as they did with everything else, but it was useless. Every ship they ever sent out there returned in ruins or not at all.

  Eventually, they gave up.

  I’d had no idea that the creatures that lived in it could do this. As much as I hated that they were trapped here in this pool, I couldn’t help but appreciate their beauty. And the entire setting was perfect—a place I’d want to spend time in.

  Just not with Ulana.

  “What plagues your mind, my prince?” she said, reaching out a hand to touch my cheek. I moved away before I realized I’d done it. Then, to seem more casual, I sat down on the bench. “A man like you shouldn’t have to worry so much.”

  “All men worry,” I said and kept my focus on the creatures, especially the ones who liked to jump out of the water, the tiniest of all. I dipped my fingers in the water again and gave more of my magic. The lights turned even brighter, and even the plants over our heads looked blue from it. The surface of the water broke it and reflected it everywhere, making me feel like I was under water with them.

  “Why won’t you look at me? I can’t look away from you.” She reached out her hand to touch mine. This time, she grabbed my fingers before I could move away. “You’re so handsome, my prince.”

  I couldn’t stand this any longer.

  “Ulana, I appreciate all of this.” I took her hand in both of mine. I needed to be honest with her because I didn’t know how else to convince her that she was chasing a lost cause. “But you and I are different. We’re too different.” Different in ways that two people can’t be if they’re going to have any kind of a relationship—even the meaningless ones.

  “I’ll be different. I can be anything I want to be, you know,” she said, smiling seductively. The blue light of the water made her eyes look almost grey. Silver. Like Taran’s. What I would give for her to be in Ulana’s place right now.

  “I don’t doubt that for a second. But I am a soldier. War is my priority and my focus. I don’t want to disappoint you, but I’ve dragged this on long enough. It would be my honor to be your friend, but that is all I can be.”

  “I don’t need a friend, Mace. I need a man,” she said and dragged herself closer to me. By the gods… “Tell me what I can do to change your mind.”

  “There’s nothing you can do to change my mind. You can’t force feelings, Ulana.”

  She laughed, throwing her head back, and then grabbed my face in her hands. “I’m a woman. Women can force everything into anything.”

  “Not this time,” I said with a smile and gently pushed her hands off me.

  “A chance is all I want,” she said, and if she was getting angry at my rejection, she kept it well hidden.

  “I can’t.” I wouldn’t.

  “Why not?”

  “Because my heart belongs to another.”

  I meant for it to be a lie. I would have said anything to get her to stop trying to seduce me. Instead, it was the most absolute truth I had ever spoken.

  We were both shocked, so for a moment, all we did was look at each other in silence.

  But Ulana decided that this wasn’t a big problem for her. “Your heart will be a battle to conquer. It will be my honor to win it.” And she kissed me.

  I had never been more irritated in my life.

  Before I could push her away, the doors opened, and the sound of laughter broke us apart. I stood up to look at six fae coming inside, half stumbling. When they saw us, they all froze.

  Autumn, Summer and Winter, they had no trouble spending time together, laughing and talking and drinking until they didn’t even see straight. Once more, I was back in the New Orleans Shade with Taran, looking at terrans. And for the life of me, I couldn’t find a reason why we couldn’t do the same with elves.

  “You’re in the wrong
room,” Ulana said, her voice ice cold now, so different from what it had been just seconds ago. The drunk fae looked alarmed but unsure how to proceed.

  “Actually, I think it’s time for us to leave. Shall we, Princess?” I offered her my hand, and she reluctantly took it. If I’d slapped her, she’d have been less surprised. What else would I have to say to get her to understand that we were never going to be together?

  Eventually, she stopped staring at me like she was a damsel in distress, in need of my help. We both knew she wasn’t.

  She didn’t say anything at all on the way back to the party. She was definitely not happy with me. I couldn’t have cared less.

  Chapter 25

  I looked at my men through the window, in perfect formation, ready for battle.

  How many of them wouldn’t survive the night? How many of them would be nameless bodies in a field drenched in blood before the sun rose again?

  They were better soldiers than most, but the battlefield was a game of chance as much as a game of skill. It wasn’t only a matter of fighting the opponent in front of you, but of thinking about what the opponent was thinking and being aware of how the people around you were fighting, too. What the chances were that they failed, and their opponents came for your neck while you had your back turned. You had to be aware of everything that surrounded you. Too much focus on one spot, one man, could take your life just as easily as a more skilled soldier.

  My feet itched to be out there, in front of the castle, with my men. Not here, stuck inside, looking at the window, waiting for my father.

  It had been torture to endure his presence for a whole day yesterday, especially after the celebration two nights ago. When I’d taken Ulana back to the hall and to the King’s table, she hadn’t spoken much to me for the rest of the night. My father had noticed. He noticed everything. Yet yesterday, she hadn’t complained about it. She hadn’t talked about it at all as far as I knew. At least her father hadn’t demanded to speak to me about it yet.

  I’d spent the entire day with my men and the better part of the night hiding with the creatures of the Atapher. There was something about that glowing blue light that shone everywhere on their bodies with the help of my magic. I tried to look at every shape, every detail, every flower and plant surrounding me, because when I went back to the Shade, I needed to tell Taran about it. She liked hearing stories. For once, I could tell her more than what went on in a battle.

  The rest of the night, before I snuck into my room and slept, I used the King’s library. It wasn’t big by any means, but it had some material on elves. I read through spines and titles and pages, hoping to find something that would give me an idea about her.

  I still didn’t know who she was or where she came from. A healer elf. I had never heard of them, and the books in King Aurant’s castle had nothing to say, either. She was not from the farmers’ House Moneir, that much I already knew. And until she told me where she came from, who she was, the best I could do was guess.

  That’s what I tried to do now, too, on my third night in the Autumn Court—the night of the battle. I tried to guess who she was, where she grew up, what her childhood looked like. Was it as brutal as mine? The thought of her as a little girl, silver eyes wide with fear, stirred something in me that made me want to grab my sword already.

  “Maceno,” my father’s voice echoed in the hallway. Even the marble columns surrounding me threw it off them, like they couldn’t stand the sound of it.

  I turned around and bowed, more on instinct than anything else.

  My father was not dressed for battle, but he didn't need armor to protect himself. He rarely took his five King’s guards with him when he entered a room—a testimony of his confidence in his abilities to keep himself safe. And as arrogant as it made him seem, it was the truth. Among monsters, he was the biggest one.

  “Ready to take some elf heads?” he asked, but he wasn’t expecting an answer, so I didn’t give him one. I’d expected him to call for me the day before, to make good on his promise and tell me what he wanted from King Aurant, but he hadn’t. As much as I thought I’d want to know, I’d been glad not to hear from him or see him all day.

  Now, there was no escaping it.

  The floor around his feet began to freeze, and soon, the windows and the walls were covered in ice, too. He didn’t want anyone hearing what he had to say, and I preferred it.

  “You’re going to go in that battle tonight, and you’re going to make me proud, Maceno. A lot depends upon it,” he said.

  “What depends on it? Or have you forgotten what we talked about?” If he was going to go in rounds, I’d rather cut him off right away.

  My father smiled again, the image of a nightmare escaping sleep to come to life in the real world.

  “When you win this battle, you’re going to ask King Aurant for Ulana’s hand in marriage,” he told me, and his eyes gleamed with satisfaction, even before I reacted.

  I must not have heard him right.

  “Come again?”

  “Marriage,” he eagerly complied. “With the princess cow. She thinks she is so smart. Has her father wrapped around her finger. He’ll do anything she asks, and she will probably do the same with you. But her type is the easiest to manipulate, believe it or not. And I’ll teach you, my son. Maybe something good will come out of your worthless life, after all.” And he laughed.

  I had never wanted to hurt him more in my life.

  “I will not be marrying Ulana.” Not for any reason at all. Just the idea of it was as horrifying as it was ridiculous.

  “You certainly will. You’ve taken quite a lot of liberty to do things your own way and object when I speak these days, Maceno. It makes me wonder what you’ve been doing that I don't know about,” he said.

  “You mean it surprises you that I got rid of whatever you did to me when I left home?”

  I had very rarely seen my father surprised, but this was one of those times. His eyes widened, and he couldn’t stop himself in time. Not that I had had any doubts before now, but this proved further confirmation. Whatever had been wrong with me, whatever Taran had healed, he’d done to me. He’d gotten in my head, and I had no idea how, but I was glad it was over.

  Just what would have happened right now if it hadn’t been for Taran?

  “I keep underestimating you, son. And I’ve underestimated your men, too,” he said, but now that the surprise was gone, he was no longer worried. He was back to being satisfied. He was glad that I’d figured it out. It made me sick to my stomach. “Regardless—a marriage with an Autumn royal is the right move for our Court at this time. It will be beneficial to our people.”

  “It will be beneficial to you,” I spit. “What exactly do you expect to gain by controlling King Aurant through his daughter?” Because that’s exactly what he planned to do.

  “Such a dumb question, Maceno. What does a king control?” he said with a laugh.

  “A kingdom.” Of course. He wanted control of the Autumn Court. I was tempted to laugh, too. “Does your greed know no limits?”

  “You call it greed. I call it prosperity. We can only become better through growth. Think about it—a marriage is a much smaller price to pay for land and riches than a battle. You don’t want to kill elves. You betrayed me—for elves. Your own father.” The hatred he felt for me reflected in his eyes, as dark as his soul. “That’s why you’re so eager to lead the fool’s army at River Kanda, right? Because you’re hoping to save lives?”

  His laughter rang in my ears. I saw red. I couldn’t speak to this man. I didn’t care who he was—my king, my father—there was no way he and I could see eye to eye on anything.

  “I am not going to marry Ulana,” I repeated.

  “Do not force my hand, Maceno. There is a limit to my tolerance, even with this situation you’ve found yourself in. Right now, there is a future for you—in your Court, with your people. Throwing that away is absurd.”

  My hands pulled up in fists. My magic slip
ped out of my skin, responding to the rage in my chest, desperate to unleash onto something.

  “I don’t care what you think. I haven’t in a very long time now, Father.” I spit the word out with all the hatred I felt for him. It mirrored his, and it only made my rage burn brighter.

  He tried to keep his calm—and succeeded, much better than I ever could. And when he spoke again, he sounded completely relaxed. “But you do care if you live or die. Think about it, Maceno. I am willing to give you one more chance because you are my blood. Think about it—you marry the princess or you die. Your choice.”

  He turned around and walked toward the doors as the ice around us melted, leaving me alone with the clouds of air that left my lips.

  A chance, he said. He was giving me a chance because I was his blood. What a joke. He was giving me a chance because he needed me. And I had no doubt in my mind that he would kill me if I said no.

  When I said no.

  I looked out the windows again, no longer seeing the soldiers or the sky. Another door had slammed in my face, and no matter how many times I looked around, there wasn’t another open around me. Marry Ulana or die.

  My father would not only kill me, he would enjoy it. My name would be scraped off every record the world kept. People wouldn’t be allowed to even mention me anymore. And he would be considered wise and strong and so courageous to end his own son’s life for betrayal—because that would be the reason he’d give to the world. He would be perfectly within his right to take my life and suffer no consequences.

  In times like these, we all learned the hard way that there was no justice in the world—in any of the worlds. My death was closer than I could have imagined, but at least I had a little more time left. To think about it—and I would think about it until his patience ran out.

  Then, it would be over.