My Favorite Sin

by Lina Langley

  He smiles, biting his lower lip. “Before I lose you to Jesus, huh?”

  I swallow. “I… I guess?”

  “Good,” he says, biting my lower lip again. He moves away from me and smiles. “Keep it that way.”

  I watch him walk away from me. He closes the door to his bedroom softly behind him and I’m left there, still gasping for breath and a total fucking mess.

  CONTINUE

  Chapter SIX

  I watch him walk away from me. He closes the door to his bedroom softly behind him and I’m left there, still gasping for breath and a total fucking mess.

  I want to call Cyrus to tell him what has happened with Montgomery, but I don’t think that he’s going to want to hear it. I know that he’s angry with me and I know that I deserve it, but I wish everything could go back to the way it was.

  I’m looking down at my phone and wondering whether I should call him when Montgomery comes out of his room. “Hey,” he says. Nodding at me. “You okay?”

  “Yes,” I reply. “No. I don’t know.”

  “As always, you inspire confidence,” he says. “What’s going on?”

  I shrug my shoulders. “Cyrus is mad at me,” I say. “I don’t know if you want to hear it.”

  He cocks his head. “Why wouldn’t I want to hear it?”

  “Because it’s about you,” I say. “Sort of about you.”

  He raises his eyebrows. “Well, now I have to know.”

  “He’s angry because I told him you confessed—”

  “Confessed?” he says, raising his eyebrows. He’s smiling at me before he speaks. “Like it was a deep secret or something?”

  “I don’t know,” I reply. “I didn’t mean it like that. He said I was purposefully ignoring him.”

  “Ah,” he replies. “He’s mad you friendzoned him? What a loser.”

  I feel a little angry on Cyrus’ behalf, but I don’t know how to deny that. That’s how it feels to me. Montgomery walks up to me and sits down at my side.

  “No one is entitled to your time, choirboy,” he says, draping an arm around my shoulder. “Not even your best friend.”

  I smile at him. I didn’t expect him to comfort me. “Thanks,” I say. “I appreciate it.”

  “No worries,” he says. “He’s probably just salty about the fact that you’re leaving.”

  “Salty?”

  “Yeah,” he says. “You’re leaving him behind to live your life, you know?”

  I look at him. “But he’s leaving me behind to live his life, too,” I say. “And I’m the one acting like a dick.”

  He laughs. “Don’t kid yourself, choirboy,” he says as he kisses the top of my head. “You’ve always been a dick.”

  “Thanks?”

  “It’s my favorite thing about you,” he says.

  I laugh and shake my head. This is nice, just cuddling like this, which is something I certainly didn’t expect from Montgomery. “Thank you,” I say. “I appreciate your help.”

  “I’m not helping you,” he says. “Not yet. Can I ask you something?”

  I look at him and nod.

  “So is part of the reason you’re not going to seminary because of Cyrus?”

  I watch him. “No?”

  He smiles at me, shaking his head. “You sound super certain,” he says.

  “I don’t know,” I reply. “I can’t pin down why I don’t want to go. And it’s not that I don’t want to go, it’s just that I’m not excited to go. Like when I got the acceptance letter, I thought I would be happier.”

  “You weren’t happy?”

  I shake my head. “No,” I say. “I was just confused. Everything felt, I don’t know, wrong.”

  “And now you don’t know if you should leave.”

  “Right,” I say. “But I don’t know why I’m here either.”

  “Sounds hard,” he says, then looks me up and down. “Do you want me to help you?”

  “Help me with what?”

  “Pulling the trigger,” he says.

  I look him up and down. “You would do that for me?”

  “Well, yeah,” he replies. “You want to leave. You just have cold feet. There’s no reason for you to stay here, right?”

  I lick my lips and watch him. I don’t think there’s anything behind his words, but I find Montgomery inscrutable. He always has a smile on his face, even when he’s angry, and he’s staring at me, his green eyes glimmering. I swallow and look at him. “No,” I say. “There’s no reason for me to stay here.”

  “Good,” he says. “Well, now that you know, you should go get your computer. We can get you all set up to leave.”

  I blink. “You’re doing this for me?”

  “Yeah,” he says. “Why wouldn’t I do this for you? Go. Get your computer.”

  He moves away from me. I take a deep breath as I tell myself that this is good, he’s helping me. I should be grateful. I try to smile at him as I get up. He smacks my ass as I walk away from him, which makes me turn and look at him over my shoulder. He winks at me. “Go,” he says. “What are you waiting for?”

  I walk over to my bedroom and grab my laptop, which is sitting precariously on my dresser. I grab it, pop it open and sit on my bed. “Montgomery?”

  “What?”

  “Will you come in here?” I say. I don’t know why, but it feels weird to do this in the living room. I want to be sitting on my bed, just like I was when I first got the news. When he walks into my bedroom, I’m glaring at the screen. It’s bright and I feel like it’s going to give me a headache.

  He sits down next to me, his arm touching mine. “You okay?”

  “Yeah,” I say, not looking at him.

  “Good,” he says. “Don’t let anything get between you and what you want to do you’re your life, choirboy. If you want to spend the rest of your life sucking Jesus’ dick, then that’s what you should do.”

  “Christ,” I say, but I can’t help but laugh.

  “Exactly.”

  I shake my head as I look at the screen, but there’s a smile on my face now. I think my hands might be trembling on the laptop’s keyboard.

  This is what I need to do. I know it’s what I need to do. I type in my password and my computer takes a second or two to log me in. It’s enough time to make me rethink this. Maybe I can talk to Cyrus. Maybe I can make everything go back to the way it was.

  I look at Montgomery. He’s facing forward, looking at the computer and saying nothing. He grabs my hand and squeezes it. “Hey,” he says. “You got this.”

  I go on the seminary’s website, the green and blue logo prominent everywhere I go. There’s no way I can escape this now. I log into the site and click on the admissions button.

  This is it. All I have to do is put in a deposit and I’m in. I sigh as I look at what they need from me.

  I take a deep breath in and then a deep breath out. I haven’t realized this until now, but Montgomery is breathing at the same time as me. I don’t know why. He has no reason to be nervous. “You ready?”

  “Fuck it,” I say. “Might as well.”

  He smiles, but it doesn’t seem to quite reach his eyes. He puts his arm around me again and puts his head on my shoulder. “Good,” he says. “I’m glad you’re doing something that makes you happy.”

  He lets me go and smiles at me. His body is still next to mine and I can feel how warm his skin is through the fabric of our clothes.

  I take a deep breath as I finish inputting my credit card number and the website starts to celebrate, little graphic streamers appearing out of nowhere.

  Congratulations, Alejandro Del Bosque! We look forward to seeing you in September for orientation.

  There’s more after that, but I don’t read any of it. I slam my laptop shut, put it on my bed and stare at the wall.

  “There,” Montgomery says. “You did it. Aren’t you happy now?”

  “Yeah,” I say as I try to smile at him. “Yeah. Sure.”

  CONTINUE


  Montgomery grabs my laptop and puts it on the floor. He kisses me on the mouth, softly at first. Then he slides his tongue into my mouth. I open it for him, letting our tongues wrestle as his touch starts to send a shiver down my spine.

  “I always wanted to fuck you,” he says into my ear. “Ever since the first time I saw you.”

  He bites down on my ear, hard enough to make me groan.

  “It’s so fucking hot to know I’m the last person you’re ever going to have sex with,” he says. “Before you give yourself to Jesus.”

  I groan as he slides his hand from my chest to my groin, touching my erection. “It’s good to see you agree,” he says as he takes my erection in his hand, under my shorts. He licks the side of my neck until he has moved down to the nape of my neck. He’s moving his hand up and down my cock slowly, enough to send shivers of pleasure up my spine but not enough to do much else.

  “You know you’re mine, right?” he says quietly. “I could do whatever I wanted with you. I could fuck you and then have you begging to wipe my dick clean. You’d love that, wouldn’t you?”

  He’s moving his hand faster now, jacking me off quickly as he puts his mouth next to my ear. “Because you’re a slut, aren’t you?”

  I groan in response. I look for his face and kiss him on the lips. He kisses me hungrily, but then he pulls away from me and exhales heavily. “Answer me,” he says.

  I close my mouth and swallow. “Answer what?”

  He stops moving his hand. “You’re a slut,” he says into my ear. “And you want me inside you.”

  “Yes,” I say. “I want you inside of me.”

  “Good,” he replies. “Take your clothes off. Now.”

  He moves away from me. I search for him with my face, but he has moved further away now, and there’s no way for my mouth to reach him. There’s nothing I can do but sigh as he gets off the bed and stands up,. Looking down at me when he does. “Do it,” he says. He threads his fingers through my hair and jerks my head up. “Or I’m going to stop touching you. Do you want me to stop touching you?”

  “No,” I say. I immediately start taking my clothes off, caring very little about where they’re landing, about tearing buttons off my shirt. Montgomery has moved away from me and is watching me, his mouth half-open.

  “You should spend more time like this,” he says. “I like it when you’re naked.”

  He looks at my chest, at my stomach, at my cock, which is throbbing and covered in precum. He gets closer to me, puts his fingertips under the waistband of my underwear and starts to slide it down my leg. “I would have normally made you do this,” he says as he looks into my eyes. “But I don’t think I can stop myself from touching you.”

  He leans forward to kiss me once he has taken my boxers off, his tongue deep in my mouth. His kisses are passionate and the stubble on his face feels like it’s going to burn my skin. “I’ve wanted to fuck you for so long,” he says. He traces his hand down my cock and toward my balls, inching closer to my hole with every stroke. “Get on your hands and knees. I want to see your ass.”

  I swallow as he moves away from me. Even though my body feels weak, I manage to do as I’m told and get on my hands and knees for him. Even though he’s not saying anything, I can feel him watching me, getting ready to fuck me.

  I turn around to look at him. He takes his clothes off slowly, his gaze locked on mine. I know he’s doing it to torture me and by the time he’s done, I feel like I could come just from looking at him. He leans down and kisses up my legs, from my feet, which surprises me, to my calves. He grabs a pillow and puts it under my stomach, and then he keeps kissing up my body until he gets to my ass.

  He kisses around my hole and then spreads me open. He breathes hard on me, sending a shiver down my spine. “How long has it been?”

  “A while,” I say between sharp breaths.

  “Good,” he replies. “All mine.”

  He kisses the skin around my hole, then sticks his tongue inside of me. He does it slowly at first, but then speeds up until I’m left gasping and moving my hips back and forth on his tongue, practically fucking myself with him as he tongues my ass. He moves away from me, leaving me gasping for him.

  “Where do you keep the lube?”

  “Nightstand,” I manage to say.

  “Okay,” he says. “Touch yourself while I get it.”

  It’s hard to move like this, but the idea of not doing what he says never crosses my mind. I reach down and start to jack myself off, slowly, softly, because I know that I’m going to come if I commit and I want to do it when he’s inside me.

  I hear him grab the lube from my nightstand. I feel his weight as he gets back on the bed, and then his wet finger as he slowly enters me.

  “Don’t stop,” he says.

  I don’t. I don’t know if I can. He’s now fingering me hard, fingering my prostate and making me scream out with every thrust, making me move my hips back and forth even faster. “Do you want me to fuck you?”

  “Yes,” I say. “Yes.”

  “Beg me,” he says. He’s still inside of me, but he has stopped moving his finger, and when I try to move my hips back to fuck myself with it, he moves his hand back slightly. “Say my name and beg me.”

  “Please fuck me,” I say. “Please, Montgomery, I need you to fuck me.”

  He laughs quietly. “Good,” he says. “I like it when you say my name.”

  He climbs on top of me, grabbing my arm so that I put it under me again. I’m ready for him, but he’s still very slow and deliberate about fucking me, even though I can hear him groaning, even though I can tell he wants this very much.

  He finally pushes forward. He’s practically squatting as he starts to fuck me. He uses an arm to hold himself up and another to put around my throat and chin, moving my face back so he can kiss me. Our mouths aren’t perfectly aligned, but I can taste myself on him and I want him more than I ever have.

  “I want you to come inside me,” I say as he starts thrusting inside me faster and faster, his moans right next to my ears. “Please. I need you to come inside me, Montgomery.”

  He groans as he starts moving faster and faster, his grip on my throat tightening slightly, just enough to intensify how this feels, and I can feel my entire body vibrating with every thrust, with every stroke. He does finish inside of me, I can feel it, I can feel him, and then he stops and groans, moaning into my ear with jumbled words about how hot I am, how great my ass is. I expect him to collapse on top of me when he slowly pulls out, but he doesn’t.

  He takes a deep breath and then moves away. “Turn around,” he says. I do as I’m told, though I have no idea how I can move. My cock is throbbing and soaked in pre-cum. Montgomery looks down at me and smiles, taking my dick in hand. He starts jacking me off, biting his lower lip, and I’m so close that it takes him no time to bring me to orgasm, which I feel on my core and then spreading through to my extremities, to the point where I can’t hear anything, and all that I can feel is electricity going through my body until I look down and see just how much I’ve managed to come all over myself.

  When I manage to catch my breath, I see that Montgomery is smirking at me. He traces his finger down the come on my stomach and then gets his hand close to my face. I open my mouth and lick his finger clean. He moans and then leans forward to gives me a sloppy mouth kiss.

  “Did you forget something?” he asks as he moves away from me.

  I watch him, my heart doing flips in my chest. “Thank you, Montgomery,” I say.

  “You’re welcome,” he replies, then kisses the tip of my nose. “Choirboy.”

  He smiles at me before he rolls over and immediately falls asleep naked, on my bed. I watch him and say nothing, my cheeks red, my breathing still heavy.

  Fuck, I think as I look at his body. What did I just get myself into?

  CONTINUE

  I don’t care that Montgomery is right there, and right now, I don’t care about what has happened between us. I just w
ant to make things okay with Cyrus, and I need to tell him that I’m going to leave. I want to tell him to his face.

  I manage to not wake up Montgomery as I get out of my bed and start cycling toward Cyrus’ house. He needs to know that I've decided to leave, that I can’t stay here, not as long as he's not okay with me.

  I shake my head as I approach his place. I can’t tell him that, because I don’t want to guilt trip him into making me stay or anything like that, I just want him to hear it from me, as soon as possible.

  I knock on his door very loudly; almost certain I’m waking him up. I’m about to start kicking it when he comes to the door.

  He opens it, looking like he hasn’t gotten a wink of sleep. He looks me up and down before he opens it. “You call people before you show up,” he says. “That’s basic manners. Amparo would be so disappointed.”

  I roll my eyes. I didn’t want to guilt trip him, but of course he started this conversation by name dropping my mother.

  “Can we talk?” I ask.

  He rolls his eyes, but he moves away from the door. He’s wearing nothing but a shirt and these boxers that look like they’re far too big on him. I would normally tease him about it, but right now, it feels unimportant. “Is this necessary?”

  “I need to talk to you,” I say. “Just… I know you’re probably going to be angry, but I need to talk to you.”

  He raises his eyebrows but watches as I step into his place. I close the door behind me. He’s staring at me, his head slightly tilted. He doesn’t look curious, he looks annoyed.

  “Alex…”

  “I’m sorry,” I say. “I just didn’t want to tell you this over the phone.”

  “You didn’t want to tell me what over the phone?” he says, looking me up and down.

  I think there might be a chance he might be expecting me to say something else, but even if there was anything else to say, it’s too late for that. Too many things have changed and I’m going to leave. I’m going to be a priest.

  I don’t even sit down as I turn to speak to him. “I’m leaving,” I say. “I’m going to seminary.”