WOMEN OF SURPRISE 02: Lydia's Passion

by Tracey J. Lyons

  "Maggie, what's wrong?" Pushing up from the wheelchair Margaret came to Lydia's side.

  "I don't know. She can't seem to stop crying." Wringing her hands together in a manner that was so unlike her, Maggie said, "Aunt Margaret, do something!"

  Speaking sternly, she said, "Lydia, stop this crying at once. You're scaring us."

  It seemed as if an eternity had passed since she'd left Alexander's when in reality it was only half an hour. Half an hour of feeling like her world had been torn out from under her, half an hour of nonstop crying.

  Half an hour of living with a broken heart.

  Lydia didn't think she could find the words to tell them what had happened. In the time since she'd come home, Anna had brewed up a strong pot of black tea which Aunt Margaret had insisted be liberally laced with brandy and Abigail had been summoned.

  "I didn't know if we would be needing the law or another woman." Aunt Margaret's brow puckered into a frown when Abigail arrived.

  Slowly, Lydia pushed herself into a sitting position, gratefully accepting the cool cloth Maggie was handing to her. Accepting the pats of sympathy and taking a generous sip of the brandy laced tea, Lydia managed a deep, albeit, shaky breath.

  Looking around at the caring faces surrounding her, Lydia feared she would start crying all over again. It was Maggie who held up her hand stopping her.

  "Please, don't start crying. I couldn't bear to see you in such a state again."

  On a good day Lydia would have balked at her insensitivity, but right now she figured it was well deserved. Crying wasn't going to solve this problem anyway. A shudder went through her as the full implication of what had just happened hit her.

  "It was my entire fault," she hiccupped.

  Sitting next to her on the sofa, Abigail asked, concern etching lines in her forehead, "What happened?"

  Wringing her hands together, she began to explain. "We were waiting for Alexander down by the pond. He'd invited me to a picnic with him and his children."

  "My, my, are you telling me that the man was actually going to do something fun?"

  Lydia bobbed her head up and down in answer to her aunt's question. "I know. I was so glad to see he was finally coming around." Fresh tears spilled over her eyes as she thought about how quickly the day had soured. "And then something..." her lip quivered . . . "horrible happened."

  "What! What happened, Lydia?" Maggie prompted impatiently.

  Covering her mouth with her hand, she whispered, "Laura fell from the tree."

  Gasps and sympathetic coos erupted from the three women. "Why is this your fault?" Aunt Margaret wanted to know.

  "I was supposed to be watching her. Alex was meeting us there, he was running late and Robert was playing with a frog he'd caught. Laura was with me by the tree." Feeling sick to her stomach, Lydia reached for her teacup.

  Taking another sip she waited a few moments before saying, "I'd only turned away for just a second and then she was up the tree yelling down at me. Showing me how she could act like a bird. I told her to come down. And then..."

  Unable to continue, she was relieved when Abigail finished her sentence. "And then she fell. Lydia, it was an accident, surely Alexander knows this?"

  Shaking her head with enough force to loosen her hair from its bun, Lydia said, "I'm not sure what he's thinking right now. He has every right to be upset. I know how terrible I felt watching that little girl laying in her father's arms in pain."

  "Yes, well I'm certain Alexander is feeling a sense of history repeating itself." Aunt Margaret sighed.

  Shaking her head, Lydia said, "I don't understand. We were finally coming to terms with our feelings towards one another. And then this happened and Alex turned me away."

  "Wait, tell us how Laura is doing." Sensible Maggie wanted to know.

  "Her arm is broken."

  This elicited a more gasps and "oh mys" from the women. "The poor child," Aunt Margaret concurred.

  "I know this is horrible. The doctor came and set her arm while I waited with Robert. Then Alexander came out and said I should leave."

  "Well this is his child who was hurt. You can't blame the man for being upset."

  "Abby, that I can understand. It was more than his being upset that one of his children was in pain. I can't explain it." Thinking back to how quickly he'd withdrawn reminding her of the man she'd first met all those weeks ago.

  Quietly, Aunt Margaret said, "I think I know why he acted the way he did. Trust me when I say this has nothing to do with you, Lydia. You had no way of knowing about the circumstances of his wife's death."

  The death of his wife was something they'd never discussed. She knew only that when she'd arrived in Surprise he'd been a cold, unhappy man barely able to smile.

  "Tell me what happened to her, Aunt Margaret."

  As moonlight spilled into the room and with the lanterns spreading their warming glow, Margaret told her nieces the story of Alexander and Joanna Judson.

  By the time she reached the part where the poor woman died, there wasn't a dry eye between them. "You see, Lydia, Joanna was out at the pond with her children the day she died."

  "Laura was just a bit of a girl, toddling around at her mother's feet while Robert napped at her side. What possessed her to go up into the tree no one will ever know, but she was climbing down when she fell and hit her head."

  Lydia gasped at the horrible image her aunt presented to them of a young mother dying in front of her children.

  "And Alexander found her dead."

  Lydia's gut ached over the pain he suffered. But knowing that she was the cause of his pain now was her undoing. Sobs wracked her body. This time she gratefully accepted the comforting hugs from her cousins.

  The pain ripped through her heart, searing her soul. All she could think about was Alexander and how much she'd come to care for him. How he'd learned to trust again and what her one ridiculous mistake had cost them. She should never have taken her eyes off of Laura, not for one second.

  This was her fault, and somehow Lydia had to find a way to make it right.

  "Papa, where's Miss Lydia?" Propped against a mountain of pillows, with her golden curls spread about her face like an angel, Laura batted her blue eyes up at him.

  Carefully smoothing the blankets under her chin, Alex forced a smile. "She's busy, sweetie."

  Five days had passed since Laura broke her arm and Lydia had stayed away. Her absence was what he'd wanted, wasn't it? What he hadn't realized was how fond Robert and Laura had grown of the woman. Laura had asked for Lydia several times each day and Robert moped around the house. He was running out of excuses for her absence.

  Since Robert had seen fit to inform his sister of the fact that they'd had a substitute teacher since the beginning of the week, Laura was smart enough to know that Lydia wasn't busy at school. Alex imagined in a child's mind it meant Miss Lydia must have a lot of free time and she should be here visiting with Laura.

  Well that wasn't the case. Alex had no way of knowing how Lydia was passing her time these days because he hadn't seen her. And that was just fine by him. Over the past few lonely days he'd managed to convince himself that Lydia Louise Monroe was trouble; he'd known it from the minute she breezed into town.

  "I want to see her, Papa. Can't you see if she can come today?" Big, baby blue eyes looked up at him. He thought his heart just might break.

  Doing something he'd never in his life done, Alex lied to his daughter. "She's helping her cousin, Maggie with the new dance hall. I think she's pretty busy."

  "Too busy to see me?" Tears welled in her eyes.

  Running his hand over his face, Alex realized he shouldn't make Laura suffer because he was angry. "I'll see what I can do."

  "Thank you, Papa. When you see her can you ask her to bring me a peppermint stick?" Smiling as only a little girl did when she wanted something, she said, "I finished the one you brought me yesterday."

  Chuckling at her antics, he responded, "I'll see what can be do
ne about that. You know if you eat too many of those peppermint sticks your teeth are going to fall out of your head?"

  Giggles erupted from her. "Oh, Papa my teeth aren't going to fall out."

  "All right, we'll have to wait and see." Rising from her bedside, he checked to make sure she had water in the glass on the stand. Then kissing her on the forehead, he said, "Mrs. Sutherland is here if you need anything. You just give her a shout."

  Reaching under the covers, she pulled out a small gold bell. "I can ring this." Giving the bell a quick shake she laughed. "Mrs. Sutherland said that way I won't hurt my throat if I have to yell for her."

  Shaking his head at the wonder of his daughter, he left the room listening to the sound of the bell's dinging.

  "I'm coming, Laura." Wiping her hands on a dish towel, the woman started to bustle past him.

  "You don't need to go she was just showing me how the bell works."

  Nodding in understanding, she turned to go back into the kitchen and then seemed to think better of it. "Mr. Judson, might I have a word with you?"

  Taking his hat from the hook, Alex paused with his hand on the doorknob.

  "I think you should let Miss Lydia visit Laura. She asks about her all the time and I'm running out of reasons why she can't."

  "I know. She asked me this morning if I could bring Lydia over to see her."

  "If you don't mind my being so bold; would it be so bad if she stopped by?"

  Knowing the housekeeper had his daughter's best interest at heart was the only thing that kept his temper in check. He didn't want Lydia to come here. He didn't like the way his children had become attached to her, and he really didn't like the fact that he found himself missing her as well.

  Gruffly he said, "I'll see what I can do."

  "Oh and Mr. Judson, you need to take better care of yourself, too. I know you're not eating properly. I leave you all these wonderful casseroles and come back in the morning to find them untouched. And you need to sleep in a bed."

  Alex knew she meant well, but her concern did little to brighten his darkening mood. He knew full well how he looked. One glance in the mirror this morning and he'd seen the lines of fatigue etched on his face. The worry creasing his brow, the stubble of beard left on his face from not shaving in two days and barely getting in more than two hours sleep at a stretch.

  He was doing his best to keep his family going. Taking care of Laura, helping Robert with his schoolwork at the end of the day, and keeping up with his own work load ate up every minute of his day.

  Wondering what else he could possibly do, he offered lamely, "I appreciate your concern." With that he left his housekeeper standing in the doorway frowning and shaking her head at him.

  Alexander was going to go to check on the site where the new restaurant was being built. He and Cole had finally managed to hire two workers and they'd been assigned to this job. At least one thing was going in his favor.

  He'd walked to the site, right smack in the middle of Main Street, where the building was going up when the sound of feminine laughter caught his attention.

  All too late he realized that the laughter belonged to the one woman he'd no desire to speak. She was coming out of Jules' Mercantile with Maggie by her side. Shielded by the corner post of the store, the two of them didn't see him until they were almost in front of him.

  Jerking her head up, Lydia looked at him. Ignoring the tug at his heart and the immediate attraction he still felt at the mere sight of her, Alex tipped his hat to her, trying to be all politeness and to keep his true emotions hidden.

  "Hello, Alexander."

  "Lydia."

  "How is Laura feeling?"

  A breeze picked up, blowing wispy strands of red hair about her face. Reaching up, Lydia brushed them away.

  "Laura is coming along nicely."

  He knew his responses were lame and that she was expecting more from him than just one sentence answers, but Alex was still upset.

  "I'm glad to hear that. I can send some school work home with Robert if you'd like."

  They both knew she wasn't teaching and yet she still had her student's best interest at heart. He felt his resolve melt just a little. Nodding, he said, "That would be fine."

  She was looking up at him with questions in her eyes. He knew she was looking for something more from him. Remaining silent, he stared at her and as each moment ticked by, he found it harder and harder not to pull her in his arms.

  "Well, if there's nothing else I'd best be going." Taking hold of Maggie's elbow, she would have continued on, except stepping in front of them he blocked their path.

  "I need to have a word with you."

  With her chin tipped up he caught the uncertainty flaring in her emerald green eyes. "All right."

  He saw the flicker of hurt there, too. "Lydia," he began only to have her interrupt him.

  "Yes." The word came out on an exhale.

  Why hadn't he ever noticed the freckles dancing across her perfect nose before, he wondered as he tried to find a way to ask her to visit Laura. Clearing his throat he began again. "My daughter would like to see you."

  At the mention of Laura her features softened. "How is she doing? Tell me the truth, Alexander."

  "The doctor tells me she is doing better than expected and hopefully she'll be able to get out of bed next week." Shoving his hands in his pockets, he took a good look at Lydia.

  There were dark shadows beneath her eyes as if she too had been suffering through sleepless nights. Knowing what she'd been going through these past few days, he shared her anguish. He longed to tell her this, but couldn't because he didn't deserve her sympathy.

  "You can come by today. Mrs. Sutherland will be there in case Laura needs anything."

  Catching her bottom lip between her teeth, Lydia seemed to be thinking. "I'd like to stop by later today."

  Nodding, he remembered his daughter's request. "Laura asked if you could bring her a peppermint stick. They have become her favorites."

  Her features brightened just a bit. "I'll be sure and bring her some."

  He started to walk away but turned around. "Lydia?"

  Taking a step towards him, she looked as if she were going to touch him, and then thought better of it. "Yes?"

  "Don't stay too long. Laura still tires quickly."

  She could only stare, dumbfounded, at his retreating back, her heart breaking. She thought she'd seen just a small glimmer of something soft and warm in his brown eyes. But as he walked away from her, she feared what little hope she'd ever had of making him forgive was evaporating like moist dew in the warm morning sun.

  Putting her arms around her, Maggie consoled her. "I'm sure he wants to see you again, Lydia. He's still upset that Laura was hurt, that's all."

  "It's more than that. I know her falling from the tree must have brought back horrible memories of his wife's death. Those feelings I can understand."

  Tears welled up and she fought to keep them at bay. "He's so aloof now, just like when we first met."

  "I'm sure as soon as Laura is out of bed he'll come around."

  Maggie's words of reassurance did nothing for Lydia. She knew what a stubborn man Alexander could be. Look how long it took him to accept her as schoolteacher, how long it was before he'd opened his home and heart to her.

  All of his trust was gone now. She'd seen the skepticism lingering in his eyes.

  Squaring her shoulders, Lydia went back in the store to purchase a peppermint stick. Imagining how Robert must be feeling left out in all the attention being given to his sister, she picked up three more. Each of them would have two sticks to keep them happy.

  Not bothering to go back to Aunt Margaret's house, Lydia walked over to the Judson's. Mrs. Sutherland was there to meet her at the door.

  "Miss Lydia, I know one little girl who's going to be mighty pleased to see you." Holding the door wide, she let Lydia in.

  The yellow curtains hanging in the windows fluttered in the breeze. Looking around
, Lydia could see the home as always was as neat as a pin. Mrs. Sutherland's love for the family was evident at every turn. It was so hard for her to be here right now, because Lydia had gone so far as to allow herself to imagine how her own loving touches could have transformed this house.

  Shaking her head to clear those thoughts from her mind, Lydia thanked Mrs. Sutherland for letting her in. "I saw Alexander today. He gave me permission to stop by."

  A frown puckered the older woman's brow. "Oh Miss, I'm sorry he's being so hardheaded."

  "Don't apologize for his behavior, Mrs. Sutherland. I deserve it."

  Shaking her head furiously, the woman was quick to say, "No you don't. What happened was nothing more than a childhood accident. He of all people should know that. Children do these kinds of things all the time. Why just last year Robert cut himself and needed to be stitched up."

  "Yes, but I wasn't here last year. Robert and Laura weren't my responsibility last year." Forlornly, she took the bag of candy from her silk purse.

  "At any rate, I brought these peppermint sticks by for them."

  "You go ahead on in. She's in her parent's bedroom." Startled that she'd referred to it that way, Mrs. Sutherland quickly amended, "I mean her father's room. Not that the man ever sleeps anymore." She muttered while going back to the kitchen. "I'll fix you a nice cup of tea."

  "Thank you." Lydia went down the short hallway stopping in the threshold of the bedroom where Laura lay amidst a pile of pillows and blankets.

  Feeling nervous about going into the room that Alex had shared with his wife, Lydia waited for Laura to notice her.

  "Hello."

  "Miss Lydia, you came!"

  Holding the bag of candy out, Lydia said, "And I brought you a little something."

  Pushing herself up, Laura sat higher against the hand-carved headboard. "Peppermint sticks I hope."

  "Open the bag and see for yourself." Placing the bag in her outstretched hand, Lydia pulled the rocking chair over to the bed and sat.