WOMEN OF SURPRISE 02: Lydia's Passion

by Tracey J. Lyons

  "Thank you, Miss Lydia."

  "Two of them are for your brother."

  Wrinkling her little nose, Laura balked, "Do I have to share with him?"

  "I'm afraid so, otherwise I'll have to keep them all for myself," Lydia teased.

  Tearing the wrapper off one of the striped sticks, Laura happily put it in her mouth. While the little girl enjoyed the treat, Lydia was battling with emotions that threatened to make her run from the house.

  "Where have you been?"

  Laura's words penetrated the fog in her brain. Frowning Lydia tried to find the right words to answer with.

  "I've been helping my family with some projects."

  "I missed you."

  Her heart was really going to break. "I've missed you too, sweetie." And she truly had missed Laura, and Robert and Alexander. She missed being here in this home; she missed feeling the pitter-patter of her heart every time Alexander Judson was near.

  "Why do you look so sad, Miss Lydia?" Tipping her head to one side, Laura was studying her.

  "I'm not sad," she lied. Moving to sit beside her on the bed, Lydia reached for one of the books piled next to Laura. "Would you like me to read you a story?"

  Nodding, Laura settled back into the pillow.

  Turing the page, Lydia began to read from "Goldilocks and the Three Bears" one of Laura's favorites. By the time she'd turned to the last page, the child was sound asleep. Taking the remnants of the peppermint stick from her hand, Lydia placed it on the bag on the nightstand.

  Then going into the kitchen she found a clean cloth and after dampening it, went back to wash the stickiness from Laura's hands. While she tended to her, Lydia took the time to admire the long lashes framing her eyelids. Brushing some golden curls off her forehead, Lydia bent to drop a kiss on her smooth brow.

  Laura stirred and Lydia pulled the blankets snug around her. When she'd settled into a nice slumber, Lydia left. Thanking Mrs. Sutherland for letting her visit, she was about to leave when she spotted Alex and Robert heading this way.

  She couldn't very well avoid them so taking a stand on the front porch, she waited.

  "But, Pa I did my work. Just like the new teacher asked. I swear, Pa." Robert was whining while his father wore a dark expression of disapproval on his face.

  "Not according to Mrs. Wendall, you didn't. Now you go on in the house and do the assignment the way she told you to."

  His harsh tone took Lydia by surprise. She'd never heard him raise his voice or seen him take a hand to his children. Angry at him because he was taking his frustration out on his children, she folded her arms across her chest, waiting for them to notice her. Robert saw her first.

  "Miss Lydia, when are you coming back to school? The new teacher is mean and nobody likes her. Say you'll come back. Please, Miss Lydia? Say you'll do it!"

  Taking a seat on the top porch step, she waited for Robert to join her, pointedly ignoring his father. "Look, I can't come back right now. I need to help my family." She hated all this lying and blamed Alexander for it.

  How could she expect the children to handle the truth, when she barely understood it herself?

  Tucking a finger under his chin, she tipped his head up to look at her, and was struck by the resemblance he bore to his father.

  Taking a minute to find her voice, she finally said, "Robert, you listen to me right now. You have to behave for the teacher. You tell your friends that I want them to be good just like you all were for me."

  "But, Miss Lydia, we want you to come back!" That he was raising his voice to her shocked her, but what he did next left her in tears.

  Throwing his arms about her neck, Robert clung to her like there was no tomorrow. Carefully she touched his wrists, gently pulling his arms from around her.

  A choking sound came out and then clearing her throat she managed in a whisper, "Robert, it has to be this way."

  Desperately, the boy looked from his father to her and back again. Then gathering himself he ran into the house, slamming the screen door behind him.

  Lydia rose from the step and walked by Alexander, unable to look at him. At the edge of his yard she paused. Turning slowly, she faced the only man she'd ever truly loved. From this distance it was hard to read his face. She hoped he was feeling as torn up as she was.

  "We are doing this to them, Alexander. You and me, Alexander we're what all this hurting and loneliness is about. How much longer are you willing to let this go on?"

  His answer to her was an eerie stony silence.

  Watching her walk away from him was getting harder and harder to do. There was no other choice; they would all survive just like they had after Joanna had died.

  The rest of his evening passed amidst groans and complaints from both his son and daughter. By the time Mrs. Sutherland left, he was exhausted, cranky and wishing he'd had a bottle of whiskey lying around. A good stiff drink was what he needed right now, something to take the edge off.

  Rummaging through the kitchen cupboards he found a corked brown jug. Unplugging it, one good whiff was all it took to tell him that this would do the trick. Taking a glass from behind the sink, he poured the whiskey. After one gulp he dumped the bitter liquor out wondering what his life had come to.

  Leaning against the counter, he stared out the kitchen window. Off in the distance the town was settling in for the night. Lanterns began to sputter to life behind the window panes of the homes of customers and what few friends he had.

  His life was supposed to have turned out differently. His wife was supposed to be by his side helping him raise their children. They'd talked of adding on to the house and their family. None of those things had been allowed to happen because fate had had something else in store for him.

  An image of a certain red-hair green-eyed woman popped into his mind. The way she smiled and the sound of her laughter-the warmth that came from her for nothing more than just her existing.

  Try as he may, he couldn't forget Lydia or the feelings she brought out in him. Neither could he forget the way Robert and Laura's faces lit up at the sight of her. Their entire world-no-make that his entire world, had been turned upside down from the moment he laid eyes upon her.

  Or was it that Alexander's world had been turned right side up instead?

  The thought stunned him.

  Turning down the wick on the lamp, he walked out of the kitchen, intending to check on Laura and make sure Robert was asleep. Instead, he found himself standing in the bedroom where Laura was sleeping, holding the picture of Joanna.

  He stared at her image for a long time, imploring her to send him some kind of a message to let him know it would be all right to let go. He looked at her for so long and so hard that eventually her image blurred, in it's place he saw a thick mane of brilliant red hair and twinkling green eyes.

  Blinking he waited for his imagination to settle down. When Joanna's image returned, he opened the top dresser drawer knowing he had been answer. Pushing aside an aged pink quilt, he made a place for his wife's picture. Gently, he covered the gold frame and closed the drawer.

  "Lydia, you simply cannot pack up and leave Surprise! We won't let you."

  As fast as she was packing her things in the black trunk, Abigail and Maggie were unpacking them.

  "Abigail, I have to do this. Can't you see there's nothing left for me here?" Having a tug of war with Maggie over a dress that she'd already packed three times, Lydia was about ready to flee the house with nothing more than the clothes on her back.

  "Frankly, I think you're just being a coward. It's always been easier for you to run than to stay and fight for what you want," Abigail exclaimed tossing a hand full of undergarments on the already rumpled bed.

  Giving up for the moment, Lydia released her hold on the green silk dress sending Maggie flying onto the bed.

  Hands on her hips she said, "There. Now I hope you're both happy. Just look at this mess. Aunt Margaret is going to have our hides when she sees this."

  None of them
had noticed that the bedroom door stood ajar and that Anna and their aunt were just outside in the hallway observing their antics.

  "I say now, what's the reason for all of this?" Anna wheeled their aunt into the bedroom. "I want all of this stuff put back in its place and furthermore I'll hear nothing of your leaving Surprise, Lydia!"

  Aunt Margaret's normally pale complexion had turned to a fine shade of red.

  "I am leaving." Stubbornness was her strong suit and Lydia didn't hesitate to use it right now to her full advantage. She had always been the one to hold out the longest and this time it wouldn't be any different.

  "No. You are not." Each word was punctuated with a thumping of Aunt Margaret's hand on the arm of her wheelchair.

  Maggie and Abigail knew better than to go against her when she was this angry, but Lydia stood her ground refusing to give even an inch.

  "Yes, I am. There's nothing left for me to do here. I've resigned from the school and Alexander has made it perfectly clear that there's no place in his life for me." Suddenly tired, she sat on the edge of the bed where her cousins sat flanking her.

  Coming over to them, Aunt Margaret said, "Well, he's a fool."

  "Then so am I for falling in love with him." Biting her lower lip, Lydia was determined not to cry again. She'd already shed enough tears for Alexander Judson.

  The only sound in the room was the ticking of the clock on the fireplace mantle. For a long time none of the women spoke, each mulling over the predicament.

  It was Maggie who broke the silence saying, "I for one am glad that I haven't come under the spell of some man. There's more to life than being in love you know."

  Staring at her niece like she'd grown an extra head, Aunt Margaret commented dryly, "Your time hasn't come yet, but mark my words, it will."

  Before an argument ensued with her namesake, she went on. "Be that as it may, this isn't about you, Maggie, it's about Lydia. We need to figure out how to fix this mess."

  Standing, Lydia began to usher them out of her room. "Go, all of you. Leave me in peace." She simply couldn't take their well-meaning pestering anymore.

  Once out in the hallway, Margaret looked at the three women. "Anna go hitch up the buggy. Maggie you stay here-and under no circumstances is Lydia to know that I've left the house. Abigail you come with me."

  Twenty minutes later a disheveled housekeeper, one sheriff and a riled-up old woman were on Alexander's doorstep. Knocking on the door, Margaret waited impatiently in the cool evening air for the man to let her in.

  When he finally did step out on the porch, Margaret knew why Lydia had fallen for this man. With his tall frame silhouetted against the backdrop of his home, Alexander Judson presented one mighty handsome figure.

  Lazily, as if he hadn't a care in the world, Alexander leaned his shoulder up against one of the porch posts. "Forgive me if I don't ask you ladies in, but my children have finally settled in for the night and I don't want them disturbed."

  Leaning heavily on her cane, Margaret squinted at him. "You could at least let me sit in that rocking chair." With a quick twitch of her hand she indicated the slate back rocker on the porch.

  Stepping aside he acquiesced, helping her up the steps. Though she really didn't require his assistance, it never hurt to put on a good show. Once settled, she huffed, "I think you're being way too hard on Lydia."

  "You sure don't beat around the bush, do you, Miss Margaret?"

  "There's no time for chitchat. Lydia didn't mean for your daughter to get hurt. And I know you're pushing her away because you can't abide by your own guilty conscious."

  Off in the distance a coyote howled. Its plaintive cry echoed down the valley. Alexander slowly turned to look at her.

  "I know it was an accident, and you know why the entire incident upset me."

  "Yes, I do. You were late meeting Joanna, just as you were for your picnic with Lydia and the children. Tell me something, Alexander. Do you want to spend the rest of your life alone?"

  "I don't see how that's any of your business."

  "Where my nieces are concerned, I make it my business. You know I'd have thought by now that your friend Cole Stanton would have told you as much."

  "I know all about how he and the sheriff hooked up." He was of course referring to the not-so-subtle interference of Margaret Monroe Sinclair on behalf of Sheriff Abigail.

  Raising an eyebrow, he looked at her. "I don't think Lydia and I need to be locked up together."

  "Oh that. Well, it was what Cole and Abigail needed. They ended up living happily ever after. Don't you want that?"

  "Happily ever after?" Snorting, he shook his head. "I don't think it's in the cards for me."

  "Alexander, if you really want to raise your children alone, to live here in this cozy home all by yourself with no one to warm your bed, no one to share your day with-to share your life with, well then so be it. But if you don't want that, then for goodness sakes forgive yourself. Tell Lydia what happened on the day Joanna died. Let her back into your life."

  When silence greeted her, she added, "She's a wonderful woman and you could do worse." The rocker creaked as she rose and walked down the steps.

  Pausing near the buggy she added, "You should know that she's planning on leaving Surprise in the morning."

  Lydia was leaving? Alexander didn't know what to think. Stuffing his hands in his pockets, he returned to the house, closing the door behind him. He stood there wondering, did he really want her to leave, to never see her again?

  Sitting in the chair where he'd spent more lonely nights than he cared to remember, Alex stared at a cold fireplace wondering what his life had become. The more he stared at the empty space where a warm fire should be lit, the more he realized what his life was fast turning into.

  Soon it would be no different than the cold empty hearth and he realized with a start that he wanted warmth in his life. He needed the warmth that only one woman could bring. Enough wallow ing in self-pity, shame, guilt-he knew what had to be done.

  Wishing with all his heart it hadn't taken him so long to come to terms with Joanna's death and Laura's accident, Alex finally allowed himself forgiveness. A strange, newfound peace settled around him, making him feel something he hadn't felt in a very long time. Hope.

  It seemed like ages before Mrs. Sutherland appeared on his doorstep. Not waiting for her to enter, he ran past her, the sun warm and bright on his face.

  "Mr. Judson, where are you off to in such a hurry?" she called after him.

  "You'll find out soon enough!" he shouted over his shoulder. His feet couldn't carry him fast enough. Lengthening his stride, he sprinted up the hill to Miss Margaret's big stone house.

  Pounding on the massive door, he was glad Anna didn't waste any time letting him in. "Where's Lydia? I need to speak with her."

  "She's upstairs in her room."

  Taking the steps two at a time, he reached the upper floor just as Lydia was coming out of a room to his right. The sight of her took his breath away. Alex felt his heart swell. Walking to her, he reached out, laying his hand on her cheek.

  "What brings you by, Alexander?" she asked, her voice barely audible.

  Pulling Lydia closer to him, he lowered his head so their foreheads were touching. "I heard you were leaving."

  "And you came to say good-bye." Her lips moved against his cheek.

  Shaking his head, he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close against his chest. "I came to see if there was anything I could do to make you stay."

  Pulling back just a little, she looked up into those dark eyes. Lightly tracing the deep lines along his cheekbones she said, "Tell me you love me."

  Cupping her chin with one hand he met her gaze. "I love you, Lydia Louise Monroe."

  "Oh, Alex I love you too, more than anyone I've ever known."

  Holding her tighter, he said, "I'm sorry for acting like such an idiot these past weeks."

  Smiling up at him, she said, "You should be sorry. I feared my heart wo
uld be broken forever."

  Taking him by the hand, she led him into her bedroom. Laughing when he saw the mess, Alex said, "You were really leaving."

  "I was."

  "Why?"

  The corners of her mouth drooped. "I couldn't stay without you." Toying with one of the many petticoats heaped on the bed, she continued, "I can't compete with a ghost, Alexander. And I can't bear it when you keep your deepest feelings buried."

  Swallowing hard, he thought about what she was saying. For so long he'd kept his emotions locked up. This was the most difficult thing he'd done since burying Joanna.

  He knew then and there the time had come to move on, to let love into his life once more.

  "Lydia, you are the ray of sunshine that has been missing from my life-from Robert's and Laura's lives for too long."

  She stopped fingering the white cotton cloth to stare at him. Her green eyes widened in surprise.

  "I've never met anyone as passionate as you are about life. Lydia, your passion just overflows. It's there in everything you do, from the way you dress, to the way you teach, to the way you love."

  When she still didn't say anything, he kept going. "You came into this town like a tornado; a whirl of silk and fiery red hair ready to take on the world. You scared me, Lydia."

  Her eyebrows rose at the statement. "And I was nothing like Joanna?"

  He shook his head. "You are so different. It's hard to explain. Joanna, she lived life, and you love life."

  "Alexander, tell me about the day she died."

  Pain cut through him like the steel edge of a knife. He had faced this alone for so long and he wasn't sure how to begin to talk about the feelings that had been running around inside of him.

  Her voice reached out to him, imploring him to bare his soul. "We need to get this out in the open. You need to talk about her death so we can be together."