Agate- Then and Now

by M. D. Grimm

  Breyln and Nunya danced, the most striking couple of all gathered. They were so in tune with each other, mere glances served to communicate instead of words. They were partners in life, true soulmates. I was certainly no expert on love, but I didn’t have to be to see the deep, abiding devotion that fairly sizzled between them.

  Wyn was dancing with Amyla, making her laugh when he spun her off her feet. Her laughter was nothing but joy, and her brother’s eyes showed nothing but affection. Even Eulun seemed to be enjoying himself, dancing with a young, attractive female. Fray danced as well, with another female, but they were far enough away, I couldn’t recognize his partner.

  Other faces were alight with happiness and celebration. I told myself to live in the moment. Just live right here, in the now, and forget everything else for a time. So, it happened that when Aishe grabbed my hand, a shy smile on his face, gesturing to where the others danced, I barely put up any resistance.

  “I don’t know the steps,” I said, as he led me.

  He grinned. “They’re simple enough, just follow me.”

  He was right, and I did follow him. It occurred to me I’d never danced with my Aishe, and I should rectify that soon. This Aishe’s eyes were alight, his palm slightly sweaty as he pressed it against mine. I smiled and struggled to make my feet follow the steps and not embarrass myself too much. The dance steps were such it didn’t matter if your partner was male or female, they fit either sex.

  I twirled Aishe around, and we both laughed as he tried to do the same with me. I had to duck under his arm since I was taller, but we didn’t have to be perfect to have fun. In fact, I think we had more fun being clumsy and silly. The song ended and we bowed to each other. Then he hugged me. He simply threw his arms around my waist and hugged me tightly, his cheek pressed against my chest. I held him back and pressed a kiss to the top of his head.

  “I’m glad you stayed,” he said softly. “Even if just for tonight.”

  I smiled. “Me, too.”

  It was then I noticed the music hadn’t started up again. I lifted my head and realized we were the center of attention. Creation’s Light. I pulled away slowly as Aishe suddenly realized the attention as well. He blushed but he kept his head up in a proud tilt. I looked over to Nunya and Breyln where they stood, holding hands. They were both smiling, and Nunya’s was wider than Breyln’s. I relaxed slightly.

  “Perhaps if we ask nicely,” Nunya suddenly said. “We can persuade the mage to entertain us with a song.”

  The blood drained from my face as the rest of the tribe clapped enthusiastically, encouraging me with shouts and pleas. I shook my head slowly. “I don’t sing!” I tried to yell over the commotion. But they continued to clap and cheer. Why was no one listening to me? I looked down at Aishe and realized he wasn’t going to help me. He grinned and grabbed my hand.

  “Please, Morgorth?” His eyes were as big as a puppy dog’s. “For me?”

  I scowled. Dammit. Dammit. It’s not that I was bad at singing—at least, I didn’t think I was—but I did not sing in front of others. I just...didn’t. Self-conscious didn’t even begin to describe what I felt about singing in public. But I was about to lose this battle, what with everyone surrounding me, looking at me expectantly. Dammit Aishe!

  I took a deep breath before letting it out in a huff. I turned my head toward the musicians. “You know Lilyain’s Myth?”

  The musicians struck up the tune immediately even as the tribe clapped and hooted that they’d won. I rolled my eyes, heat rising to my face again. But I couldn’t stop the sheer bolt of pleasure that shot through me, created by the acceptance and love I felt from every single dialen gathered.

  It was a simple song, one a bard at Master Ulezander’s hall of Muelsel, had often sung late in the evening. The lyrics spoke of a bard’s duty, the way they were charged with not only entertaining, but instructing others; their duty to bring history to life, to make myth understandable, enjoyable to learn. They communicated complex truths into simple rhymes and melodies. I took a deep breath, stared determinedly into the fire and pretended I was alone. Aishe squeezed my hand as I began to sing. My voice grew stronger as the song continued, and by the second verse the dialen had taken up the song with me, as it was a popular one across this part of the world. Their voices merged with mine, strong and melodic. Our song rose into the night, and I lost enough of my self-consciousness to look at Aishe, who sung just as powerfully as the others.

  I remembered, with a start, the moment I realized I was in love with Aishe. It was when he’d sung. His voice had crashed over me like a tidal wave, washing away any resistance I had tried to build, drowning me in emotions so intense I thought I would explode if I didn’t find a way to control them. And now, I was singing with him. The tune was lively, a little fast, but we all matched our voices, and I thought we sounded damn good. Then the song ended and I clapped with the rest, laughing, feeling a strange surge of excitement. Adrenaline, that’s what it was. I hadn’t humiliated myself. They enjoyed me just as much as I enjoyed them.

  Someone slapped my shoulder hard, and I staggered before turning to meet Wyn’s eyes.

  “Didn’t think you had that in you, Mage,” he said joyfully, shoving a goblet into my hands. He was a little more than buzzed, I could tell. He suddenly gave me a one armed hug, causing me to spill some of the ale, even as the musicians struck up another tune, a slower one.

  “Get a grip, Wyn, he needs to breathe!” Aishe tried to muscle his way between us, and I had the distinct impression he was jealous. Maybe even a little possessive.

  I laughed. Wyn let go of me and laughed at his little brother. “How can he breathe when you’re clinging to him like Lucia to her doll?”

  I winced. Wyn might be good-hearted, but sometimes his teasing could be a little hurtful. Aishe flushed, but not only from embarrassment. Anger glinted in his eyes.

  “Why shouldn’t I be by his side? I’m going to be his mate in the future, aren’t I?”

  Wyn looked at me, raised an eyebrow. I realized by the lack of surprise on his face, that his parents had probably told him, and probably Aishe’s other siblings, about me traveling through time. Hell, I wondered if Breyln had told the entire tribe. I didn’t exactly tell them not to. And they were apparently meant to know, so they did.

  “Is that true?”

  I sighed. “Yes, Wyn. You going to punch me in the face now?”

  We stared at each other for a heartbeat before Wyn’s face broke into a huge grin. “Nah, why should I? You’re good in a fight. Aishe could do a lot worse.”

  I snorted. “Thanks,” I said sarcastically.

  “You’re welcome.” With that, he swaggered off, confident and proud in his own skin. Aishe glared at him, his hands balled into fists.

  “Brothers,” he mumbled.

  I stared into my goblet. What I wouldn’t give to have such brothers. I gulped down the ale. The night wore on. I ended up dancing with Nunya and Amyla, and even Fray. He really was the quiet one, not saying much, but just smiling, observing. He shook my hand after the dance ended and shocked me by rising up on his toes and giving me a chaste kiss on the cheek.

  “Thank you for everything,” he said simply. Then he walked away. I touched my cheek where he’d kissed it. I was really going to miss everyone, for a very long time.

  Dialen soon began to drop to the ground, making their beds on the soft grass, under the stars. I followed their example, simply letting myself fall. I stared up at the bright moon, and listened as the music continued, as the fire snapped and crackled. The sky was clear, the stars twinkling down, seeming to laugh at the gaiety below them. I stretched my arms out, and I thought of how children would do this on an overcast day, picking shapes out of the clouds. I’d never done it. I didn’t remember a time I would have, not with my blasted family, and certainly not with my mentor. I’d never allowed myself time to rest, to simply enjoy the beauty all around me. I never saw beauty before founding Geheimnis. I’d only seen power, my magi
ck, and the desire to make others pay for the misery I felt.

  The night was cool and the fires big enough to banish any chill that might wash over me. I closed my eyes, knowing that tomorrow, I had to leave. It would be a mere finger snap for me before I returned to my Aishe, my real time. But for this Aishe, it would be years before he would see me again. How could he bear the wait? Hell, how had he bore the weight, was the better question.

  I knew it was Aishe who settled next to me a short time later. I didn’t move. He curled himself against me, his head on my shoulder, his arm hesitant as it slid over my chest. I smiled and waited until he settled before curling my arm around his shoulders. He snuggled closer. He really was a sweet, adorable lad, one who’d grow into a fierce, skilled, loving warrior. I let myself muse for a moment on how I’d been at his age. Yikes. I’d already been a monster in some ways: bloodthirsty, lusting for vengeance, riding on wrath. I hadn’t been a child. I’d never been a child.

  I felt myself drifting when someone slipped a blanket over us. I caught her scent immediately. Nunya. She brushed her fingertips over my forehead before leaving, taking her scent with her. A small tremor went through me before I slipped my other arm around Aishe, his heavy breathing indicating he was fast asleep. His presence comforted me, and I finally allowed myself to sleep.

  ***

  It was late morning as I stood at the edge of the camp, the Ravena tribe staring at me, bidding me farewell. Drasyln was unconscious, and I held the end of one of her ropes. I made sure she would get the same impact from the time travel as I received. I held Atcoatlu in my hand, the stone cold against palm. I’ve never held a stone of power naked against my skin before. The power shimmered through me, the stone spoke to me. Not in words, but in urges. It urged me to time travel, to journey when the massacre happened and stop it. It whispered I could journey into the future and see where my destiny would take me. Would I become the Destroyer? It could answer that for me.

  It could take me back to the day I was born. It could take me back to my personal hell and stop it before it even began. I could save myself. I could destroy my demons. With Atcoatlu, I could re-write everything to my liking. I could usurp the Mother, tear up what she’d written for me and change everything.

  Everything.

  I swallowed hard and forced my gaze to leave the stone. My eyes sought and found Aishe’s own, which were filled with unshed tears, his arms crossed over his thin chest. He must have seen something in my eyes because his own widened. He stepped forward, becoming my only focus.

  “Come back to me,” he said softly.

  The simple request, the love infused with each word broke Atcoatlu hold over my mind. I shuddered out a breath, closed my eyes, and fought back the urges—the agate’s voice. My hand shook even as I bit my tongue, the pain banishing the dregs of the stone’s power.

  No. No. What the Mother has written, let no one unwrite. This was her world, her creation. If she wanted me to become the Destroyer, if that was truly her future for me, then who was I, a mere child, to change that? But more than that, I knew what my Aishe would want. I knew what he would say. What we had together might be changed forever if I wrote the world differently. He might even be dead in my real time, if I changed even one, small thing. The Mother had a purpose, I had to believe that. I had to cling to that. Her words to me, her love that enveloped me as a child—I forced myself to remember all that.

  I would use Atcoatlu. The agate would not use me.

  I met Aishe’s gaze again. I forced myself to smile. “We will meet again.”

  “Promise?”

  My smile became genuine. “Promise.”

  Using Atcoatlu wasn’t very different from teleporting. I brought up the rocky, orange-yellow cliffs of the ludkis’ territory. I remembered the sand against my face, the searing sun, the smell of rock quarries. I remembered Aishe as an adult, his touch, the life in his eyes. I brought it all to the forefront of my mind, held the vision firmly. Then I envisioned Drasyln activating the stone and had to make an educated guess as to what the surroundings would have looked like after we’d gone.

  With one last look into Aishe’s young, bright green eyes, I activated the stone.

  ***

  The stone sucked away some of my energy. I didn’t fight it since I didn’t want to be lost in time. I kept my eyes closed, even as light flashed against my eyelids. I felt like I was floating, my feet touched nothing. I felt suffocated, as with teleporting, but it was different, since I could still sense the stone in my hand and Drasyln’s rope in the other. I clung to both tightly, determined to get us back to our own time.

  Then it was over. I staggered at the jarring halt but managed to stay on my feet. Panting, I looked around just in time to see another me throw myself at Drasyln. Then we were gone, flying back into the past. That was way too crazy for me. I closed my eyes and shook my head. When I opened them again, I stood on the cliff with Drasyln, who was still unconscious. The agate burned my palm, trying to urge me not to stop, to keep going, to keep traveling.

  “Shut up.” Scowling, I jammed the stone into a pouch, tying it closed. I didn’t trust myself completely, I might become tempted.

  Conjuring a bubble of force around myself and Drasyln, I sped down the side of the cliff, her bubble attached to me by an invisible thread. Once on the ground, I shot blue sparks into the sky, alerting Aishe that I found her. Red sparks would have meant I needed help. Yellow would mean I’d lost her.

  I waited. I shot blue sparks into the sky again, helping Aishe find my location. This place was a labyrinth. As I waited, I wondered how I should tell him. He must have waited with agony, wondering when I would finally travel into the past. His patience was extraordinary. How many times had he wanted to tell me about us? About then? His actions weeks ago, when he defended our home against a mage sent by the king of Cwaylin, finally made more sense. He’d been proving himself to me, but it was more than that. He’d been trying to prove to me he was worthy, that he’d done exactly what I’d told him to do. He’d become a resilient, graceful warrior, a dialen meant to be a mage’s mate. He really was meant for me. But why? Why did the Mother see fit to write him into my life? Was I really to become the Destroyer? I was the third seventh son of a seventh son.

  I looked at Drasyln where she lay still on the ground at my feet. I wasn’t far removed from the monster I’d once been—the one who got his kicks by torturing.

  “Morgorth!”

  I lifted my head and my heart slammed into my chest. It was like I was seeing him for the first time. Aishe jogged toward me, bow in one hand, his quiver strapped to his back. His powerful legs ate up the ground as he approached me, his long white hair blown back by his momentum. His body was toned, muscled, and slightly broader, and of course taller, than his younger self. His face was still finely structured, his eyes burning out of that face with an intensity that made me want to give him anything and everything—if only he would keep looking at me that way. But it was those eyes that held the most change: long gone was the unsure, shy, clumsy child. He now no longer just had the heart of a warrior; he had the skills of one as well. There was life in those eyes, experience, tragedy, sorrow, but also happiness. He had strength to overcome the harshness that came with living.

  His grin staggered me. “You caught the thief!” He reached me and stopped, panting slightly before looking at Drasyln. “Nice job.”

  Then I saw it. His eyes flickered, his smile slid off his face. I swallowed hard. He would recognize her, the mage who had tried to kill him, tried to kill his father. He would recognize his own brothers’ rope-tying.

  I took a deep breath. “I can’t believe you ran into that tree.”

  He froze, his eyes snapping to me, his face paling.

  I kept my voice light, even though my gut trembled. “I would have laughed if I hadn’t felt like shit. I have to wonder, whatever happened to that trulbar?”

  Aishe slowly shut his eyes as his entire body trembled. I waited, letting him abs
orb the fact that the greatest secret between us was now revealed. I saw his throat work as he seemed to struggle while swallowing.

  “You did it,” he whispered. He opened his eyes, a couple of tears slipping down his cheeks. “You did it.”

  I smiled. “You were so cute and awkward. I contemplated putting you inside a bubble, just so you wouldn’t hurt yourself.”

  Aishe flushed but then a smile graced his face, and slowly grew until it seemed like a sun onto itself.

  “I kept my promise,” I said.

  “Yes, you did. And so did I.” Aishe suddenly dropped his bow and flung his arms around me, squeezing me so tightly, my breath whooshed out. I snapped my arms around his waist, delirious with the sensation of his body against mine. He was taller than me, stronger than me, and that was how it should be. It wasn’t right that I should be taller than him. I needed him this way—a dialen able to handle what the world might throw at us, one that could be my partner, who could stand beside me in battle.

  “Oh, Morgorth!” Aishe claimed my mouth rather viciously. His tongue was possessive as it slid around my mouth, slipped over my own tongue, and grazed my teeth. His hands now cupped my face, preventing me from moving. I gripped his wrists, my head spinning slightly. I missed his taste, his dominance. I missed him. Aishe worked my mouth, causing my legs to weaken. His suction was killer, his taste something I never wanted to give up. The top of my head damn near blew off. Finally, Aishe pulled away, but only far enough to lay his forehead against mine. We both panted, both trembled.

  “You know,” he whispered, his voice hoarse. “By the Mother, you finally know.”

  “Yes, I know. And I’m sorry, for everything.”

  Aishe pulled back with a look of confusion. “What are you talking about?”

  I sighed. “We’ll talk later. I need to contact Master Ulezander. And we need to go home.”

  Aishe kissed me again, but it was lighter this time. Sweeter. “I don’t know why you feel the need to apologize, Morgorth, but I love you. And though the world has handed me pain, you have always been the prize at the end of my long road.”