William Shakespeare's Avengers
Page 24
Help, Master Stark, I’m being beamèd up!
STARK
I shall fly thither soon to rescue thee.
[Obsidian knocks Stark down, then jumps at him. Wong opens a portal underneath Obsidian, who falls through the trapdoor to a deserted realm. Exit Cull Obsidian.
Wong, thou art now invited to my wedding.
[Exeunt Wong and Bruce Banner as Stark flies toward the ring.
Grant me an extra touch of power, Friday,
And unlock weapon seventeen-and-A. 235
[Maw enters the ship with the body of Strange floating behind him. Parker climbs on the outside of the ship as Stark approaches. From the Avengers base, a 17A Spider-Man suit is shot, rushing toward the ring.
[In radio:] Pete, let thyself go—I shall catch thee up.
PARKER
[in radio:] Yet thou told’st me to save the mighty wizard!
Alas, I cannot breathe.
STARK
—Increasingly
The air grows thin, we are too high, and thou
Art running out of atmosphere to breathe. 240
[Parker falls, but the 17A suit catches him and encompasses him.
PARKER
I am reviv’d—and goodness, Master Stark,
The suit doth smell as good as some new car!
STARK
I bid thee happy trails, kid. Friday, send
Him home once more.
FRIDAY
—I shall!
[A parachute opens from Parker’s suit, sending him back to the ground. Stark begins drilling through the hull of the ring.
STARK
—Inside, now, I
Shall find where they have taken Doctor Strange. 245
FRIDAY
Sir, call incoming—’tis thy Lady Potts.
ENTER PEPPER POTTS ON BALCONY, SPEAKING TO STARK.
POTTS
O Tony, what is happening to thee?
STARK
I’m fine, believe me, though we must surrender
Our reservation at eight thirty.
POTTS
—Why?
STARK
It’s possible I shall not make it back 250
Ere then.
POTTS
—Tell me thou art not on that ship.
STARK
I—
POTTS
—Heavens, no. Thou art not on that ship!
STARK
I’m sorry, dear, and know not what to say.
What words of comfort can I speak to thee,
Who always wert so kind and understanding? 255
POTTS
By God, I’d not have thee thereon. Come back!
[Potts begins to fade into the shadows.
FRIDAY
The lady’s signal, sir, is nearly lost.
[The signal breaks. Exit Pepper Potts. Parker manages to climb back on the ring.
PARKER
[aside:] Though Tony shall not like it, I’d not leave.
Perhaps I should have stay’d upon the bus.
I shall trap Strange and Stark within my web, 260
And bring them safely to the ground again.
[Exeunt Tony Stark, Doctor Stephen Strange, Peter Parker, and Ebony Maw in the ship.
ENTER BRUCE BANNER AND WONG ON THE GROUND.
BANNER
[aside:] Here, on the ground—the phone that Tony us’d
To call on Rogers, our great Captain he.
[To Wong:] Where art thou bound, for I see thou wouldst
leave?
WONG
The Time Stone hath been ta’en. The Sanctum still 265
Unguarded doth remain. What will you do?
BANNER
I’ll make a call, and for it I’ve big hopes.
A call that could reset our fates at once,
A call unto an ally strong and loyal,
A call that may turn this around somehow— 270
A call, belike, we should have made ere now.
[Exit Wong. Banner dials Rogers. Exit Bruce Banner.
SCENE 3
Space.
ENTER PETER QUIILL, GAMORA, DRAX, ROCKET, GROOT, AND MANTIS IN THEIR SHIP.
QUILL
[sings:] Behold, the foot shall move,
And rubber band doth groove!
ROCKET
Wherefore are we doing this? Remind
me, prithee.
GAMORA
It is a signal of distress we answer. 5
’Tis possible that someone may be dying.
ROCKET
Indeed, so much I understood. Yet wherefore,
still, are we doing this?
QUILL
For kindness. We are kind. Is’t not enow?
And mayhap whosoe’er it is shall pay 10
A bit of cheddar—aught in its gold hue—
For our kind efforts.
GAMORA
—And ’tis not the point.
QUILL
Aye, truly, this is not the point. That said,
An it should be they pay not what is due—
DRAX
Their ship we’ll take!
ROCKET
—Precisely so.
QUILL
—Forsooth! 15
ROCKET
This plan I can and will follow.
MANTIS
We do arrive.
QUILL
—Forget not, guardians,
Clear and great danger may approach herein—
Bedeck yourselves with faces mean and fierce.
[Groot plays a game.
Groot, put the toy away—I’d not tell thee 20
Again, unless thou wouldst be grounded. Groot!
GROOT
Groot—’tis I!
QUILL
—Foulest language, rotten tree!
ROCKET
Speak not that way unto our captain.
QUILL
Big acorns on thee hast thou, naughty stump.
ROCKET
E’er since thou didst acquire a bit of sap, thou hast
turn’d 25
into a D-hole quite. If thou dost keep it up, I promise
thee, I’ll smash thy senseless toy to pieces.
THE SHIP ARRIVES AT ITS DESTINATION: THE RUINS OF THE ASGARDIAN SHIP. ENTER THOR, FLOATING IN SPACE, WITH BODIES OF DEAD ASGARDIANS.
MANTIS
What happen’d here?
QUILL
—By heaven, what a sight!
ROCKET
It seemeth that, after all, we’ll not be paid.
[Thor smashes into the front of the ship.
Turn on the wipers swiftly—get thou the vermin off! 30
[Thor opens one eye. Realizing he is alive, they pull him inside the ship.
QUILL
Can this dude live? How is’t?
DRAX
—No dude he is.
A dude thou art, Quill. This one is a man—
A handsome, muscular man, by my troth!
QUILL
Behold me, I am muscular enow!
ROCKET
Who art thou kidding, Quill? One sandwich short of 35
fat art thou. One bite from heavyset. One nibble short
of portly.
QUILL
A jest—how funny!
DRAX
—Nay, ’tis true! Thou hast
Put on some weight. We’d not discuss it, though.
QUILL
E’en so?
DRAX
—Thy chin, thy belly! Even so. 40
> QUILL
Gamora, do you think I have grown large—
[Mantis touches Thor’s head.
MANTIS
He anxious is, and angry. Loss and guilt
Are his beyond all measure, I can sense’t.
DRAX
’Tis like a pirate and an angel had
A blessèd child, with qualities of each! 45
QUILL
Fie! What a wake-up call is this for me,
For now I must be careful of my weight.
A Bowflex I’ll acquire, and shall commit—
Belike some dumbbells shall my figure fix.
ROCKET
Thou knowest dumbbells may not be eaten, yea? 50
GAMORA
Cut are his muscles as if fashion’d from
Cotati metal fibers.
QUILL
—Cease massaging
All his strong muscles, please, no matter how
Alike unto Cotati fibers they.
[Gamora drops Thor’s arm.
[To Mantis:] Awake him, Mantis.
[Mantis touches Thor’s head again.
MANTIS
—Wake, O mighty man. 55
[Thor wakes suddenly, startling all.
THOR
Who in the name of Hel’s own heart are you?
QUILL
E’en Guardi’ns of the Galaxy are we,
Yet who art thou?
THOR
—Thor, god of Asgard, I,
Yet recently by Thanos much abus’d—
The remnants of my people harshly slain, 60
And I alone escap’d to tell thee this.
[Thor calms down and sits. They give him a bowl of food and a spoon.
GAMORA
Whilst I knew Thanos, he had but one goal:
To bring a balance to the universe
By wiping clear the slate of beings wholly,
Extinguishing one-half of all that lives. 65
He once did roam, one planet after th’other,
And massacre by massacre destroy.
DRAX
Which did include mine own!
GAMORA
—Should he acquire
All six Infinity Stones he shall have
The power to abolish half of life 70
Withal one snap of his two mighty fingers.
THOR
Seem’st thou to know, somehow, of Thanos’ plan.
DRAX
Gamora is a daughter unto Thanos!
THOR
Thy father kill’d my brother cruelly.
[Thor rises threateningly.
QUILL
Alas, the beast is pok’d. Nay, Thanos is 75
But stepfather, were we most technical,
And she doth hate him e’en as much as thou.
THOR
[to Gamora:] ’Tis certain families can taxing be.
Before my father died, he told me of
My lost half sister he confin’d to Hel. 80
She then return’d and stabb’d me in the eye—
Thus was I bound to kill her. Such is life.
The universe goes round and round again…
I feel thy pain.
QUILL
—Aye, and I feel thy pain,
Because—’tis not a competition, nay— 85
But I have also been through much in life:
A father who did kill my mother dear,
And then I had to kill him, too—’twas hard.
E’en harder, mayhap, than to kill a sister.
As thou canst see, in th’end I’ve both mine eyes. 90
THOR
I need a hammer, not this trifling spoon.
How can I ope thy hatch, is there some code?
Perhaps a birthdate; often such is us’d
By simpletons as ye, who do employ
But password as your password—silly folk. 95
[Thor tries to type the code for the hatch.
ROCKET
What art thou doing?
THOR
Be calm, I do but commandeer your pod.
[Quill affects a challenging tone.
QUILL
Ahem! Nay, thou shalt not. Our pod, good sir,
Comes not within thy requisition, nay.
ROCKET
Quill, art thou deepening thy voice? 100
QUILL
Er, nay.
DRAX
—Thou art! Thou imitatest him,
The god-man in our presence. Weird it is.
QUILL
Come, come, I do not so!
MANTIS
—Once more ’tis done!
QUILL
Born was I with this voice, an infant who
Did squeak and babble with a hero’s tones! 105
THOR
Art mocking me?
QUILL
—Art mocking me?
THOR
—Stop that—
Again thou didst it.
QUILL
—Copies he my voice.
THOR
I’m serious, I bid thee cease at once.
GAMORA
Halt now!
THOR
—He started it, I promise thee.
GAMORA
We must stop Thanos. Thus, we must discover 110
Where he shall go.
THOR
—Well—Knowhere is he bound.
MANTIS
He must be somewhere bound.
QUILL
—Fie, Knowhere, truly?
A place it is, where we’ve already been.
A desolate place. Never shall ye find
A hive more rank and wretched, verily, 115
And fill’d with villainy. Tak’st thou our food?
THOR
’Tis my food now, e’en like your little ship.
GAMORA
Thor, wherefore would he unto Knowhere go?
THOR
’Twas years since the Reality Stone was
Stor’d safely and securely with a man 120
Thereon nam’d the Collector. He shall seek’t.
QUILL
An ’tis with the Collector, ’tis not safe.
An idiot alone would give that man
A Stone to safeguard.
THOR
—Or a genius, Quill.
GAMORA
Still, how canst thou know he will not pursue 125
Another Stone?
THOR
—Six Stones await beyond:
Vile Thanos hath the Power Stone because
He stole it last week when he Xandar sack’d.
He took the Space Stone from me when he crush’d
My ship and slaughter’d half my people, too. 130
The Time and Mind Stones dwell secure on earth,
There with the powerful Avengers—safe.
QUILL
Avengers? What are they?
THOR
—The earth’s most fierce
And mighty heroes they—unbeatable.
MANTIS
Like Kevin Bacon?
THOR
—Possibly he is 135
Upon the team—it is some time since I
Was there. As for the Soul Stone, no one e’er
Hath seen it. No one knoweth where it is,
And therefore Thanos ne’er shall claim its pow’r.
He goeth, then, to Knowhere, it is plain, 140
To capture the Reality Stone there.
GAMORA
[aside:] What shall I do, reveal what I do know—
The veil’d location of the Soul Stone strong?
Nay, never, for ’tis far too dangerous.
[Aloud:] We must, then, unto Knowhere presently. 145
THOR
Wrong—we must swiftly to Nidavellir.
DRAX
A made-up word!
THOR
—All words were once made up.
ROCKET
Nidavellir is real? Art serious? ’Tis the stuff of legends.
They make the most pow’rful, horrific weapons that e’er
tormented th’universe. ’Twould bring me joy thither
to go. 150
THOR
The rabbit-being is correct, indeed,
And clearly smartest mongst your company.
ROCKET
Why rabbit? Wherefore hare?
THOR
’Tis only Eitri, he the skillful dwarf, 155
Who can the weapon fashion, which I need.
[To Rocket:] I may assume thou art the captain, sir?
ROCKET
Thou art most perceptive.
THOR
Thou seemest like a noble leader, yea.
Wilt join me on my quest and travel to 160
Nidavellir, where we shall Eitri meet?
ROCKET
Wait one moment, I shall ask the captain. Ha!
’Tis I and no one else. Indeed, I’ll hence away, thou
goddish man.
THOR
A-ha, ’tis settl’d! Wonderful result! 165
QUILL
Except I am the captain of this ship.
THOR
Be quiet.
QUILL
—Art thou purloining my backpack?
ROCKET
Be seated, thou who but a lowly crew member art.
QUILL
Behold, this is my ship, and I’ll not go—
Go on and say again, what is this weapon? 170
THOR
The Thanos-killing type of weapon ’tis.
QUILL
Could we not all have weapons such as these?
THOR
Nay, for you lack the strength to handle them.
Your bodies would but crumble into dust
E’en as your minds to madness did collapse. 175
ROCKET
Is’t strange that I would, now more so than e’er,
take on this adventure?
THOR
Indeed it is, my cottontailèd friend.
GAMORA
If we go not to Knowhere and, thereby,
Rank Thanos doth retrieve another Stone 180
He shall be far too powerful to stop.
THOR
In sooth, I worry he already is.
ROCKET
I have it figur’d. We have two ships and one large
collection of fools. Groot and I shall hence with the pirate
angel, whilst ye fools fly to Knowhere to defeat Thanos. 185