Sorrow and Second Chances

by E Bradshaw

  “I’d say that you’re doing an admirable job of it, then,” replied Darcy with a smile, “for I’ve never seen you behave with anything except impeccable courtesy whenever Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst are around.”

  “Thank you for the vote of confidence, but in all honesty, I’ve been holding onto my civility by the merest of threads at times,” answered Elizabeth with a playful grimace.

  “So I imagine that your older sister has been obliged to squeeze your hand every so often in order to keep your temper in check, then?” asked Darcy with wry amusement clear in his expression.

  “You know about that?” asked Elizabeth with a look of some surprise.

  “Yes,” admitted Darcy; “I saw your sister gripping your hand rather forcefully on the day of your mother’s funeral, when Mr Collins was imparting what he clearly imagined was helpful consolation to the two of you. In truth, I think that your sister saved both of us from losing our temper that day, for I was certainly in great danger of stepping forward to wring his neck if he didn’t curb his tongue!”

  At first Elizabeth grimaced somewhat bitterly at the remembrance of Mr Collins’ tactless comments that day, though her expression immediately lightened and she suddenly laughed at his subsequent joke. “I can’t imagine that anything would have shocked me more than to see the very proper Mr Darcy, of all people, behave with anything other than impeccable manners,” she responded with a grin. “It is quite a revelation to know that such dark thoughts occasionally cross your mind, just as they do through mine.”

  “I would think that you, of all people, would know that my manners can be far from impeccable at times,” replied Darcy more seriously.

  “Well, none of us are perfect,” Elizabeth retorted with a winsome smile.

  He could not help but grin at her infectious humour. “Indeed, none of us are perfect,” he agreed. “In fact, I seem to remember warning you about your quite outrageous habit of walking about the countryside on your own,” he chided with a look of mock admonishment. “And yet, here you are, all on your own again.”

  “Yes, I seem to remember you warning me about the dishonourable inclinations of men,” commented Elizabeth with a slow smile. She regarded him with a deceptively innocent look, and Darcy’s breath suddenly hitched in his throat as he looked at her. “You said that such men were not to be trusted,” she added softly.

  “No, indeed, they are not,” replied Darcy hoarsely. To his chagrin, he found he could not stop himself from gazing intently at her, nor prevent himself from focussing upon the quite captivating sight of her crimson lips.

  Indeed, it was perhaps fortunate for his own sense of propriety that his attention was suddenly diverted in that moment by an abrupt jerk on his fishing rod. Though his concentration had been completely side-tracked by Elizabeth’s presence, his hands instinctively tightened on the rod when the fishing line suddenly twitched, and thus he hurriedly turned his attention to reeling the fish in.

  “You’ve caught one?” asked Elizabeth, as she moved to his side and peered with interest at the flowing river.

  “Yes,” answered Darcy; “it can take a long time while you wait for your fish, but this is where it all becomes interesting.”

  He glanced at her, noticing her curiosity at his actions as he operated the reel and slowly brought the fish in. “Have you ever caught a fish?” he asked, as a sudden notion came to him.

  “Me?” she asked with surprise. “No, I’m afraid not. It is not usually one of the accomplishments that young ladies are recommended to learn, I think you’ll find.”

  “Well, let this be the day that you do, then,” responded Darcy. He held the fishing rod out to her and gestured that she should take it from him. “Come on, I’ll show you what to do,” he added when he saw her initial hesitation.

  She seemed curious to learn, or perhaps she was reluctant to turn down any new challenge, for she did not hesitate again, but instead stepped closer and took the fishing rod from his outstretched hand. Nevertheless, it was clear that Elizabeth had not been expecting the force which she suddenly felt from the fish tugging at the other end of the line, for she was unexpectedly yanked towards the edge of the riverbank. Darcy instinctively put out his hands to catch her – and though he heard her breath hitch within her throat when he hastily grasped her around her arm and waist, he did not release her. “Careful,” he joked in a voice that had suddenly become rather constricted; “I would not wish for you to end up in the river! I can swim, but I do like the idea of jumping into the water at this time of year.”

  Elizabeth laughed softly in response and took a firmer grasp upon the fishing rod. “What should I do?” she asked. He noticed that she was blushing, and that she was trying very hard to appear unflustered. Aware that he was not behaving entirely properly, Darcy removed his grasp from around her waist and from her arm to instead direct her hands to the correct positions upon the rod. However, once he had done so, he did not remove his own hands from hers, but instead he took another risk and kept his arms around her as he showed her what to do. His heart thumped rapidly at his own temerity and at their close proximity; he knew very well that he was flouting every rule of proper behaviour, but it felt so good to be alone with her at long last that he simply couldn’t help himself.

  Nevertheless, he knew he should at least try to keep himself under good regulation, and nor did he wish to alarm Elizabeth, and thus he made sure to keep a little distance between them as he stood behind her. He hoped she could not feel his pulsing heartbeat, nor hear his shortened breathing – just as he hoped that he appeared more composed than he truly felt in that moment. Thus, he cleared his throat before speaking, for fear that his voice would otherwise emerge as a hoarse croak. “When you feel the line tugging like this, release the reel a little,” he instructed in a soft tone by her ear. “That’s it, bring the fish in slowly,” he continued, as all the while he showed her what to do with his hands gently guiding hers.

  Finally, the fish emerged from the water and Elizabeth gave a little whoop of elation at the sight.

  “You’ve caught a trout – and it’s a decent size, too,” Darcy congratulated her in a triumphant tone as Elizabeth eagerly reeled the fish in. “You see, you are already becoming an expert,” he added with a grin.

  “Hardly,” Elizabeth replied lightly; “I would not know what to do without you being here to show me.”

  With some reluctance, Darcy finally released her, knowing that he had no more excuse to hold her within his arms. “I’ll get the net,” he announced somewhat self-consciously as he stepped away from her. He bent to pick up the net so he could scoop the fish out of the water – and noticed as he turned back that his friend was approaching from further up the riverbank. In fact, it appeared as though Charles had seen them, for he had hesitated in his tracks and seemed uncertain about whether or not to approach them. Darcy grimaced to himself, wishing that Charles had not witnessed his private moment of intimacy with Elizabeth, though he knew he could trust his friend to be discreet and not speak of what he had seen to anyone else.

  Not wishing to make Charles feel uncomfortable, however, Darcy smiled and nodded in greeting to him. “Any luck, Charles?” he called out as his friend approached.

  “Not as much as you, it would seem,” Charles replied dryly, with obvious double meaning. He gave Darcy a look which communicated all too clearly that he would expect an explanation from him once they were alone, though he bowed and greeted Elizabeth with impeccable politeness. “I see you have mastered the art of fishing, Miss Bennet,” he greeted her amicably. “I had no idea that my friend was such a skilled teacher.”

  Chapter 11

  Unhappily for Darcy, there were no further opportunities to spend time alone with Elizabeth following their fortuitous encounter on the riverbank – though the looks which they sent towards one another whenever they were together in company certainly gave him reason enough to have high hopes. Elizabeth’s smiles and prolonged eye contact communicated a great deal a
bout the warmth of her feelings towards him – and left Darcy feeling both euphoric and impatient for an opportunity to speak to her openly about his intentions. Indeed, he was so happy that not even Miss Bingley’s sour looks and barbed comments could affect his jubilant mood.

  However, the day of the annual harvest celebration was planned for only two days’ time, and so as a consequence Darcy found that he was always kept very busy with the final arrangements. He would have liked to have found an opportunity to speak to Elizabeth, but every time he saw her she was always in the company of the other ladies, or else his attention was continuously needed on one task or another, and so there never seemed to be an opportune time. Nevertheless, he was determined to find an opportunity to speak to her and to ask for her hand before too long – and he felt sure that the harvest celebration would provide the ideal occasion for it. He knew that his other guests had already deduced a great deal about his feelings for Elizabeth, for he could not fail to notice the giggling and teasing smiles which Elizabeth’s sisters occasionally directed at the two of them, and nor had he missed Mr Bennet’s satirical looks. Indeed, his admiration for Elizabeth must have been very obvious to all, for Miss Bingley and her sister scowled and tried in every way to put Elizabeth down, though the two of them only emphasised their own viciousness with such antics.

  Only Charles, who had already witnessed so much, remained quiet, though Darcy knew very well that his friend – a man who was always uncomfortable with deceit of any kind – was brooding over what he had seen at the riverbank. Indeed, Darcy suspected that Charles would try to broach the subject of his intentions towards Elizabeth before too long – and would moreover demand an explanation over what he had witnessed between the two of them. And unfortunately, as he had predicted, on the morning of the harvest celebration, when Darcy was already occupied with a vast array of things to do and was busy making sure that all his plans were in order, Charles finally plucked up the courage to broach the subject.

  Pemberley was a hive of activity that morning, with servants rushing to and from the house as they set up the long tables and decorations in the grounds, ready for the feast that would follow later that afternoon. A large tent had been erected in the gardens on the previous day, and the kitchens teemed with heat and noise as the feast was prepared. Though Mrs Reynolds ran a very organised team, there was still a great deal to be done before everything would be complete. Nevertheless, Darcy had every faith in his servants, and he knew that the celebration would be perfect – though secretly he could not help but be a little nervous all the same, considering how important the evening ahead could prove to be for him.

  Every year for several generations, the Darcy family had held a harvest celebration upon their grounds as a token of thanks to their tenants and staff, and every year Darcy was amazed by the quite wonderful results of his servants’ efforts. They worked very hard as a team to ensure that the celebration was a success each year, and Darcy knew that this celebration would be no exception. Indeed, Darcy knew he should not fret, for he could see that his staff were making an additional effort that year to impress his guests. He walked that morning amongst all the bustle and activity as he made his final inspections; he saw the gardeners were busy with their final touches as they ensured that the grounds were looking at their absolute best, whilst a team of maids and footmen were laying the tables with pristine linen tablecloths and cutlery.

  Charles followed him as he walked about, and though Darcy could tell that his friend had something on his mind that he wished to speak of, he did not broach a conversation with him, sensing what it was that Charles wished to discuss. Darcy had never found it an easy thing to be open about his private emotions, but more importantly, he wanted an opportunity to speak to Elizabeth about his feelings for her before he made any sort of disclosure to other people. Nevertheless, when Darcy spoke of visiting the heated greenhouses as his next destination – where his sister and the other ladies were creating the flower arrangements which would decorate the church and the tables at the feast – Charles suddenly put out a hand to halt him.

  “Look Darcy, I know you’re a very private sort of man,” he began with a troubled look, “but before we join the ladies, I really feel that I need to speak to you about something.”

  Darcy stopped and looked his friend directly in his eyes, as if to convey that he was willing to listen – though his closed expression and stubborn silence made it clear that he wasn’t about to make it an easy conversation. Nonetheless, Charles was clearly determined, for he lifted his chin and fixed his friend with a resolute look. “I want to know what your intentions are towards Miss Elizabeth,” he persisted firmly. “I think I have the right to know, considering what I saw between the two of you on the riverbank.”

  “And what exactly did you see?” asked Darcy cautiously.

  Charles reddened at the question and huffed to himself; it was clear that he was embarrassed, though it was also apparent that he wasn’t going to allow the subject to drop. “Oh, come on, Darcy!” he exclaimed irritably. “Do I really have to spell it out? I saw you with your arms around her; far too close by proper standards and secluded all on your own with no chaperones. I’m sure that Mr Bennet would have been far from pleased if he had been the one to come across the two of you, rather than me!”

  “And do you plan on telling Mr Bennet?” asked Darcy warily.

  “No, of course not!” exclaimed Charles. “I’d be far too embarrassed to ever have such a conversation with him – and besides, I would never break your confidence in such a way.”

  “Thank you, I appreciate that,” replied Darcy earnestly.

  “But you have to consider the situation from my point of view,” persisted his friend. “How on earth would you feel if you had seen me in such a situation? Would you not also try to speak to me about my conduct?”

  “Is that what you are doing?” asked Darcy with a hint of a smile. “The times have definitely changed then, for I seem to remember being the one giving out advice to you whenever I thought that you had been behaving rashly – and yet now I feel as though I’m about to get a thorough scolding!”

  “Come on, Darcy, do be serious,” pleaded Charles. “How would you react if you had seen me in the same situation with her older sister? Would you not also be urging me to caution?”

  “Should I be urging you to caution?” asked Darcy with his eyebrow raised in a teasing expression. “Has there been any impropriety between you and Miss Bennet? You are a dark horse, Charles! Perhaps I should be speaking to Mr Bennet about your conduct instead!” he added with a smile.

  Not wishing to prolong such an uncomfortable conversation any longer, Darcy stepped forward then with the intention of walking on, but to his surprise, Charles stopped him with a firm grasp upon his arm. In fact, quite uncharacteristically for him, Charles glowered at him and lowered his voice in a fierce growl. “I see you won’t take me seriously – but I like Miss Elizabeth and I won’t stand to see her dishonoured! I demand an answer! Think about this, Darcy; how would you have reacted if you had come across the same scene between a young man and your own sister?” he demanded forcefully. “I’m quite sure that you would have been asking for the same reassurances in such a situation as I am asking of you right now!”

  In the face of his friend’s uncharacteristic vehemence and in response to such a disturbing question about his sister, Darcy froze on the spot. Of course, he knew that Charles knew nothing of Georgiana’s previous foolishness when she had almost eloped with Wickham, but the question nevertheless evoked unhappy memories for him. He knew in all conscience that he could no longer try to shrug off the awkward questions that his friend was asking him, and little though he liked it, he knew that he would have to open up and offer his friend an explanation over his errant conduct with Elizabeth. He knew that in all fairness Charles was justified to ask what his ultimate intentions were towards her – just as he realised how uncomfortable it must have made his friend feel when he had seen the two of
them standing so intimately together. Charles must have been expecting an announcement to be made between him and Elizabeth, Darcy realised, and thus he guessed that Charles must have been confused and rather disappointed in him when he had still not heard of any engagement between the two of them some two days later.

  With a resigned sigh, Darcy therefore fixed his friend with a direct look. “I can see that I have disappointed you with my reckless behaviour, Charles,” he said, “but please believe me when I tell you that I would never dishonour Miss Elizabeth. I hope it will put your mind at ease to know that I love her; in truth, I love her more fiercely than anyone else I have ever loved in my life.”

  Charles looked extremely taken aback at this disclosure, which was no wonder since Darcy was typically so guarded with his private emotions. “Then why on earth has there been no announcement made between the two of you?” he asked with open confusion. “It is clear that you like one another a great deal – at least that is the impression I get whenever I watch the two of you together. I cannot understand why you would behave in such an imprudent manner without first gaining her promise to marry you. This recklessness is not like you, Darcy, truly it is not!”

  Darcy gifted his friend with an enigmatic smile. “I know it might seem very straightforward from where you stand, my friend, but I have had to be very cautious this time. I could not risk making the same mistakes again and misreading her feeling towards me. I had to wait until I could be absolutely certain.”

  Charles only looked even more confused than he had already been. “This time?” he asked with a frown. “Whatever do you mean?”