Sorrow and Second Chances

by E Bradshaw

  Thus, he merely raised a sardonic eyebrow at Charles in response and then grinned at him. “Here, have your drink and keep your impudent thoughts to yourself!” he retorted with a humorous growl.

  “Well, I thought it only fair that you should suffer a little on your wedding day as well!” laughed Charles good-naturedly, as he took the glass that Darcy offered to him. “You didn’t have to endure what I had to go through this morning! I thought it very unfair that you managed to make yourself scarce, whilst I was left to fend off my sisters and Mr Hurst all on my own. Wherever it was that you absconded off to, I wish you’d have taken me with you!”

  *****

  Darcy did not to reply at first; instead, he simply smiled to himself as he thought back to his early morning ride. Unable to sleep, he had arisen and dressed, and then crept quietly past the servants sweeping out the fire grates and tidying up the dining room, to slip unobtrusively out of the front door of Netherfield Hall. Most of the grooms had already been about their work, and so it had been the work of minutes to have his horse saddled up and then set off on a solitary ride. He had watched and marvelled as the winter sky had gradually flooded with all the beautiful colours of dawn, and before he had known what he was doing, he had found himself – perhaps out of long habit, or perhaps due to his longing for Elizabeth – riding across the fields and down the lane that led to Longbourn. He hadn’t expected to see Elizabeth; indeed, he knew very well that it would be considered improper for them to meet that morning, but as if transported there by the fairies, he had suddenly come across her sitting alone under a tree, as if in deep contemplation.

  He had ridden closer; she had looked up at the sound of his approach, and immediately they had rushed forward to be in one another’s arms. It was as if they were of one mind, for no words were needed in that moment; it had simply been enough to hold one another in a tight embrace. Finally, when they had broken apart from their impassioned kiss, Elizabeth had laughed shakily and gazed up into his eyes.

  “I couldn’t sleep,” she murmured. “My mind was too full.”

  “Me neither,” Darcy had admitted. “It seemed too long until I would see you again.”

  In her rush to leave the house that morning, Elizabeth had neglected to tie her hair up or to put on a bonnet, and thus her hair had flowed wildly around her shoulders. She wore only an old gown and her walking boots, but standing there as she had, with her cheeks flushed from the cold and her eyes alight with excitement, she had looked to Darcy like a goddess. She truly was beautiful, and even though their wedding ceremony was due to take place in only a few hours’ time, it had still felt to Darcy like an inordinate amount of time until she would finally be his.

  “We are not supposed to be together like this,” he had whispered into her hair. “It is supposed to be unlucky for the bride and groom to meet before they exchange their vows.”

  Even then, as extraordinarily happy as he was, he could not help but fear that some unknown evil force would try to separate him at the eleventh hour from his beloved. It had been a fanciful thought, but standing there together as they had watched the sun begin its slow ascent in the sky, surrounded by the sounds of birdsong and all the beauty of the morning, Darcy had been filled with an awareness of the utter perfection of the moment, and with it, a dreadful fear that such happiness could not last forever, and could not truly be for him.

  As usual, it was Elizabeth who had shaken him from such ominous thoughts, and a second later she had returned the smile to his face. “Oh, that’s such nonsense!” she had exclaimed breezily. “I’m sure we cannot be the only couple to meet on the morning of their wedding day, and I’ve never heard of any such occasion that caused any catastrophe! I would guess that it is simply a story given out by stuffy old parsons to ensure that there is no sinful behaviour going on before the ceremony takes place!”

  “Then we have already broken that rule,” grinned Darcy, as he planted another kiss on Elizabeth’s soft lips.

  “Besides,” she had continued, “I think you would agree that we have already faced our fair share of bad luck and obstructions, what with our long history of misunderstandings, and what with your aunt, and the schemes of a certain officer whom I shall not speak of. But I think we can safely say that we have managed to fight off every obstacle that has come our way so far – and I’m quite sure that we will continue to do so when we are married.”

  “I agree,” Darcy had smiled. “Indeed, as long as Miss Bingley and her sister do not create a scene, and as long as Charles does not work himself up into a state of anxiety and strangle himself with his own neck tie –”

  “And Kitty and Lydia do not end up in a squabble over who wears which gown to the wedding,” interjected Elizabeth with a grin.

  “Then I’m quite sure that everything will go well,” finished Darcy with a happy laugh.

  “Yes, I’m quite sure it will,” agreed Elizabeth. “Though if I am not home soon then my father might start to ask me some awkward questions about where I’ve been.”

  “And he might not be too pleased with me if he were to guess,” Darcy had grinned.

  Thus, as unwilling as he had been to part from her, and as unwilling as Elizabeth had been to leave his side, the two of them had parted to go their separate ways. And though he had not been gone from Netherfield for all that long, Darcy had returned to a house that was quickly descending into pandemonium. Everyone was up, and seemingly no one could agree on anything or organise themselves for the day ahead. Darcy had rolled his eyes to himself and imagined that the scene that Elizabeth would return to at Longbourn would be much the same as the one he faced at Netherfield. Consequently, Darcy had soon been occupied in trying to bring everything to order; he had sent Caroline and Louisa to join Georgiana and Mr Hurst in the dining room to take some breakfast, and had then set about trying to calm Charles’ nerves, which (to no surprise at all) had been thoroughly frazzled by his sisters.

  *****

  Charles brought Darcy out of his private musings with a pointed cough. “Well?” he demanded. “Are you going to tell me where you got to first thing this morning? I went to your room to seek some moral support, but your manservant said he had no idea where you might be. Far be it for me to call your man a liar, but I got the distinct impression that he actually did have a fairly good notion of where you could be, but was simply brushing me off!”

  “And that is why I pay him well,” retorted Darcy with a roguish look. “A loyal manservant is worth his weight in gold.”

  “But it’s not fair!” protested Charles, clearly feeling put out by Darcy’s evasion. “You didn’t have to endure even half of what I had to put up with! Caroline and Louisa were at their absolute worst this morning – and I can hardly bring myself to recollect the advice that Mr Hurst thought to inflict upon me!” he added with a shudder of disgust. “And because you’d somehow managed to make yourself scarce, I had no cause whatsoever to escape from them!”

  Darcy couldn’t help but grin at Charles’ pique at what he’d had to endure from his family, for it was so unlike him to be in any sort of bad humour. “It was truly that bad, was it?” Darcy teased. “What sort of advice did Mr Hurst provide you with, then?” he asked cheekily – though he could easily guess it was not the sort of advice that Charles would wish to repeat, or that he’d actually want to hear.

  “You don’t want to know, Darcy, you really don’t,” Charles replied with a look of revulsion. “Suffice to say that I now know a great deal more about his marital relations with my sister than I ever wished to know! It will take me a long, long time to be able to look Louisa in the face again!”

  The picture that Charles described in his utter disgust was so amusing that – although he tried very hard to keep a straight face – Darcy couldn’t help but break out into a wide grin.

  “It’s not funny!” protested Charles. But then, never one to stay in a bad mood for long, and finally seeing the humour of the situation despite his disgust, he, too, broke out in
to a mirthful grin. “I heartily wish you had a brother-in-law, Darcy!” Charles grumbled in jest. “Then you might actually understand what it is like having to deal with such unwelcome advice about your forthcoming marriage! Indeed, Hurst’s advice sickened me so much that as much as I want to marry Jane, and as much as I am impatient to finally be alone with her, it almost put me off the whole idea of marital relations altogether!”

  Darcy raised a sardonic eyebrow. “I cannot seriously believe you,” he teased. “Not after witnessing some of Jane’s very pretty blushes whenever the two of you have managed to be alone together!”

  “Well, no, perhaps I was exaggerating on that score,” admitted Charles, as he sheepishly tugged at his neck tie and suddenly looked rather uncomfortable.

  Mercifully, Darcy decided to save his friend’s blushes. “And besides,” he added, “even though I do not yet have a brother-in-law, I have not completely managed to escape such unwelcome advice.”

  “Oh no?” queried Charles with sudden interest.

  “Yes, my rather bothersome cousin gleefully wrote to offer me such advice – unsolicited as it was,” Darcy explained dryly, “whilst my Uncle Matlock decided to visit me whilst I was still at Pemberley with the purpose of inflicting his own such guidance on me! Never mind the fact that Richard is not yet married himself, he clearly felt that it was his cousinly duty to wind me up! And I know what you mean about not being able to look your sister in the face after hearing Mr Hurst’s account, for I hardly knew how to face my aunt and uncle when they arrived at Netherfield earlier today!”

  “Ah, so you do know what it is like having to endure such tortures, then!” Charles exclaimed, suddenly looking much more cheerful at the knowledge that Darcy had suffered, just as he had.

  “Yes, I’m afraid I do,” Darcy replied wryly.

  Taking a large gulp of his wine, Darcy walked over to where his friend stood and gave him an affectionate pat on his shoulder. “And unfortunately,” he commiserated, “I suspect that we’re going to have to endure a lot more of that sort of advice before the day is done. So, we’ll just have to suffer it together and keep drinking so we can keep on gritting our teeth and smiling politely through it all!”

  “Cheers to that,” grinned Charles, as he raised his own glass to toast his friend before taking a hearty gulp.

  Perhaps it was the sheer enormity of the occasion which awaited the two of them, but Darcy was suddenly glad that he had his friend with him as they waited through these anxious minutes, and moreover, he was glad that he and Charles would be celebrating their wedding day together. They had always been close ever since their days at university, but Charles had proven himself to be a true friend many times over in the years since they had first met, and Darcy couldn’t imagine anyone else whom he would rather have had as a brother-in-law than his honest and good-natured friend. It wasn’t like Darcy to be so demonstrative, but in that moment, he felt quite emotional and thus he felt it was only right to express something of what he was feeling to Charles.

  “I am honoured to have you as my friend,” he said in an earnest tone, “and I couldn’t have asked for a better man than you to become my brother. I hope we shall always be close, Charles.”

  Charles looked rather taken aback, as well he might, since it was rare for Darcy to be so candid about his emotions. “My goodness, Darcy,” he joked somewhat awkwardly in response, “Lizzy really has changed you! Not that that is a bad thing, mind you,” he added hastily, as he saw Darcy begin to look a little self-conscious. “I am just a little surprised to hear my old formidable friend express such heartfelt thoughts, that’s all. But thank you, Darcy, I appreciate that. I am very glad that you will be my brother, too – for I will need someone of sense nearby to watch over me and ensure that I don’t make a total mess out of things!”

  “You won’t make a mess of things,” Darcy smiled. “You’ll have Jane to keep you in line now. Indeed, isn’t that what marriage is all about? Being with the person who makes you feel like a better version of yourself, and establishing a mutually-supportive partnership that enriches every part of your life?”

  “Yes, I suppose it is,” beamed Charles, “though, I have to confess, I hadn’t thought of the matter as deeply as you have. I just wanted to marry Jane because I love her, and I couldn’t imagine being happy without her by my side.”

  “Then you will be just fine in your marriage,” Darcy assured him; “you are both so gentle and good-natured that I cannot for the life of me imagine a single occasion when the two of you might quarrel!”

  “But you and Lizzy might, perhaps?” teased Charles.

  “Oh yes, I imagine that Elizabeth and I will have a fair few fights over the years,” grinned Darcy. “We are both far too fiery and independent-minded to be able to go through life without the occasional flare-up! Indeed, I think our relationship rather benefits from it!”

  The two men laughed happily together at Darcy’s self-depreciation and then Charles reached to the wine decanter to pour them both another portion. “We might as well dose ourselves with another measure of courage,” he urged, as he handed Darcy another large glassful.

  Although Darcy raised his eyebrows at the size of the portion that Charles had just poured for him, he did not object and willingly took another large swallow of his drink. “You’re a bad influence on me,” he jested lightly. “Elizabeth wouldn’t forgive me if I’m too inebriated to pronounce my vows!”

  “Ha!” scoffed Charles. “The chance would be a fine thing! I’ve never once seen you properly out of your wits on drink. Even whilst we were at university, when you had seemingly drunk enough to sink a small ship, you somehow always managed to keep your dignity about you!”

  “Well that’s because you didn’t see anything of me in the spring,” replied Darcy candidly. “I can assure you that I drank plenty after Elizabeth rejected me.”

  “Ah, yes,” replied Charles carefully, as the grin suddenly dropped from his face, “I suppose you would have. I still wish that you had confided in me at the time, though.”

  “It was too difficult for me to speak of at the time. I only told Richard what I did because he had already deduced that I admired Elizabeth and because he had guessed some of what had happened between us – but moreover, because he can be so damned persistent about rooting out the details when he wants to be. And besides,” Darcy added, as he glanced regretfully at his friend, “I couldn’t bring myself to speak to you of my own heartbreak when I had finally come to understand that I was partly to blame for yours.”

  “Oh, that,” Charles replied hastily, clearly eager to forget any unhappy memories from the past; “it is all in the past now, Darcy, so you needn’t worry any more about it. Everything has turned out as it should be; I have my Jane and you have your Elizabeth. Indeed, as terribly sad as the occasion was, it now seems fortuitous that we returned to Longbourn to pay our respects at Mrs Bennet’s funeral – for who knows, we might never otherwise have met with the Bennet family again.”

  “Yes, indeed,” replied Darcy in a thoughtful tone, as he reflected quietly on Charles’ words and considered how his future might have turned out if it had not been for the tragic event of Mrs Bennet’s death. ‘Would he have encountered Elizabeth again, if not for that day?’ he asked himself. ‘Or would they have met on another occasion?’ It seemed to him that he and Elizabeth had been designed for one another and that therefore the universe must – in one way or another – have found some other way to bring them together again if they had not met on that terribly sad day. Though of course, there was simply no way of knowing. He could only be grateful that he had seen Elizabeth on that day, and that despite everything that had occurred between them, she had still been kindly deposed enough towards him to give him a second chance to make a better impression on her.

  Darcy hadn’t realised that he had lapsed into silence until Charles spoke again and broke into his thoughts. “And as it turned out, you were much needed,” Chares continued. “You were good c
ompany for Mr Bennet during those days after the funeral; indeed, the pair of you quickly became as thick as thieves together. I used to watch the two of you; I never understood how you did it, but you just seemed to understand what Mr Bennet was thinking and what he needed. Truly, you seemed to be the only person who could get through to him at that time.”

  “I just understood some of the pain he was feeling,” Darcy shrugged in reply. “Besides,” he added with a wry, lopsided smile, “I understand all too well the thoughts of a social recluse. I know what it feels like to want to shut the whole world out.”

  “Well, whatever you did, you certainly made a good impression on him,” smiled Charles, clearly wanting, as ever, to keep their conversation light-hearted. “And considering that you were still madly in love with Elizabeth, it was certainly a good strategy to win her father over!”

  “That was never my intention, as you well know, Charles.”

  “I know, I know,” Charles appeased with a jovial smile. “I just wish that you could teach me how to win Mr Bennet over. I’ve tried, but somehow, I’ve never really accomplished it. Oh, he’s pleasant enough with me, but I can tell that he doesn’t enjoy my company as much as he does yours.”

  “Well, what do you want to know?”

  “I want you to teach me how to deal with Mr Bennet’s strange wit. I never seem to know whether he’s in earnest or whether he’s simply teasing me!”

  “A little of both, I suspect,” replied Darcy with a wry look. “Our future father-in-law certainly has a rare sense of humour. But he’s easy enough to understand, once you get used to him.”