Sorrow and Second Chances

by E Bradshaw

  *****

  The three of them quickly settled into a pattern at Pemberley as the spring season progressed. Darcy resumed the running of his estate, whilst Elizabeth began to learn all the responsibilities that were now hers as the Mistress of Pemberley. Darcy knew that she was incredibly grateful to Mrs Reynolds, the long-serving housekeeper at Pemberley, for her assistance in this endeavour, for whilst he knew that Elizabeth was eminently capable, he also appreciated that from Elizabeth’s point of view the task might seem rather daunting. Indeed, Elizabeth had frequently joked that she was sure she would have struggled to remember everything if it had not have been for the older lady’s help. For although Elizabeth had seen the house and the grounds of the estate before when she had previously visited Pemberley, Darcy knew that it was an entirely different experience for her in becoming the mistress of such a large house, and having so many new responsibilities, in comparison to simply visiting as a guest.

  Indeed, Elizabeth had admitted that if she hadn’t of been the sort of person who relished new challenges, and if she hadn’t had the encouragement of him and Georgiana, she really felt that she might have been rather daunted by such a new and overwhelming position. In truth, Darcy had been a little alarmed by Elizabeth’s words at first, since he hated to think that she might feel anxious or intimidated by her new home, but her excited reports at the end of each day reassured him that she was in fact enjoying her learning experience. Apparently, Mrs Reynolds had taken her on an extensive tour of the house and grounds, explaining the history of the house and introducing all the staff to her as they went. Pemberley had its own dairy, bakehouse and orchard, as well as a large herb and vegetable garden, bee hives and hen coups, along with three greenhouses, several fish ponds and its own estate farm. In this way, as Elizabeth had learnt, the estate was almost completely self-sufficient, and so Pemberley was able to feed both its family and its vast array of servants throughout all the seasons.

  As a gentlewoman (and a lady of particularly elevated rank since her marriage), Elizabeth didn’t have to learn such intricate detail about the running of the house and estate. In fact, Darcy was aware that many other women of her status would probably sneer at her for her avid interest in such matters. However, Elizabeth didn’t care for such conceited opinions; she was simply fascinated to learn all she could about her new home and about the people who served the Pemberley estate. It was clear that she wanted to be active and useful, and not merely spend her days in idle boredom – and for this Darcy admired her more and more every day.

  It also became apparent that Elizabeth was similarly keen to learn more about the estate at large and to know more about the tenants who lived and worked on the Pemberley estate. Often, she would sit with Darcy in his study and ask him questions about the estate and his plans for the future. She seemed fascinated by details that would, in comparison, have put Georgiana to sleep, but Darcy did not mind her enthusiastic interest in the least bit; rather, he relished in the opportunity to talk about the work that had engrossed so much of his attention ever since he had first become master of the estate. Thus, he had rolled out the large maps detailing the Pemberley lands for her to view and had talked to her about the many lessons he had learned since first taking on the mantle of responsibility for his family’s lands.

  With wry affection in his tone, he had told her about the tenant farmers who had taught him such lessons, and Elizabeth had smiled to hear about their dour sense of humour and their tough, no-nonsense attitudes. Darcy told her how flummoxed he had felt in the early days when he had first begun to manage the business of the estate after his father had passed away, and so – out of necessity at first, and then later, out of deep respect – he had become accustomed to consulting the tenant farmers of the vicinity in order to make his decisions. Many of the farms had been run by the same families for countless generations, and Darcy appreciated the hard-won experience and the ingrained and astute knowledge of the countryside that his farmers possessed.

  They seemed to have an almost occult-like knowledge of when the weather was going to change, and consequently, they knew best when the seed should be sewn in the fields, how successful the crops might be that year, what sort of midges and diseases might afflict the sheep flocks, and a whole myriad of other such agricultural expertise besides. Darcy knew that it would be immensely foolhardy, therefore, to ignore the advice of his tenant farmers. Thus, it had long been his custom to consult with his land agent and his farmers about such matters, and as a result, he really felt that he had built up a relationship of mutual trust and respect with his tenants. It was not often that one of his farmers questioned one of his decisions, but Darcy never minded when they did. Rather, he was pleased that they felt confident enough in his presence to voice their true thoughts, and knowing that his decisions often had far-reaching consequences, he was always willing to consider an alternative idea.

  After hearing so much about the estate farms and the people who lived and worked upon them, Elizabeth had expressed a great wish to see more of the estate for herself. Thus, true to his word, Darcy began teaching Elizabeth to ride, and in this way, they were able to travel far and wide around the Pemberley lands as her confidence and ability gradually improved. Georgiana sometimes accompanied them on their rides, though it was the new mistress whom the local people were particularly curious to meet. Elizabeth greeted the tenants and the local people with gracious words and good-humour, and seemed eminently comfortable in making conversation with them, no matter their station in life, just as Darcy had known she would. Indeed, he had joked more than once that it seemed that his tenants no longer had any interest in speaking to him, since all their attention was now focussed upon her.

  They attended the Sunday services in their village church, and in this way, Elizabeth had also begun to meet her new neighbours, and as a consequence they were soon invited to attend various gatherings and card parties in the local vicinity. And although Darcy had groaned in protest at the amount of invitations that his wife received, he willingly accompanied Elizabeth and Georgiana to such events. Though he didn’t particularly relish such frequent social occasions, he was simply glad to see Elizabeth being so well-received by their neighbours and to see her becoming increasingly more comfortable in her new community.

  Naturally, Elizabeth still missed her family a great deal, but there was so much to occupy her time each day that Darcy wasn’t concerned that she suffered too much from homesickness. Letters came and went to Longbourn on a frequent basis, and thus they were always kept informed of one another’s daily lives as well as any arising news. In this way they learnt that Mary was now being courted by a rather serious young man who had just been ordained, whilst Kitty and Lydia were due to make a trip to London to stay with their Aunt and Uncle Gardiner. They also received hints that Mr Bennet’s acquaintance with his new neighbour was deepening, and though the friendship with Mrs McRoy didn’t sound too serious, and though Elizabeth was convinced that her father would never consider marriage again, she was still concerned enough to bring the topic up with Darcy and Georgiana one afternoon.

  “What do you think my father’s neighbour is like?” she asked rather casually.

  Darcy couldn’t help but smile at the nonchalant tone she was attempting to adopt, and especially since he could see that Elizabeth’s brow had furrowed with concern as she spoke. “I have no idea,” he answered reasonably. “I’ve never met her, though from what they have written of her, your father and sisters seem to have formed a good opinion of her. You met her; what did you think of her?”

  “I didn’t really form an opinion at the time,” shrugged Elizabeth. “She seemed pleasant enough, but I didn’t really speak to her beyond an introduction since I had so many other guests to speak to that day.”

  “Then why are you concerned, Lizzy?” asked Georgiana, as she picked up on Elizabeth’s unease.

  “Elizabeth is concerned that her father is about to be swept off his feet and will fall madly in love wit
h this lady,” interjected Darcy in a teasing tone. “Or, at least, that is the impression I get.”

  “No, it is not that,” Elizabeth denied quickly. “It is just that she is mentioned more and more often in their letters and yet I don’t really know anything about her. My father seems to be encountering Mrs McRoy quite frequently at social occasions, and Mary mentioned in her last letter that some of the neighbours had been making speculations about the amount of time that he has been spending with her. It just makes me curious, that’s all.”

  “I think your father must feel quite lonely at times, what with all his daughters gradually leaving home,” Georgiana ventured. “Perhaps he just enjoys this lady’s company?”

  “I hadn’t thought of that,” replied Elizabeth in a troubled tone. “I suppose he could be lonely, what with me and Jane leaving home.”

  “And it sounds as though Mary might be considering marriage at some point in the future,” Darcy reminded her, “so she may well soon be leaving home as well.”

  “And Kitty and Lydia are due to go off on a trip to London this week, and so you father will be left all alone,” added Georgiana. “So perhaps it is a good thing that he is attending local events with his neighbours.”

  “But that is just it!” protested Elizabeth. “My father never used to like attending social functions! He always used to complain whenever my mother made him go out! He used to grumble about having to make polite conversation all evening, when he would have been much happier staying at home with a good book!”

  “I think perhaps that you father would still prefer a night in at home to a night in a crowded ballroom or a noisy dinner party,” smiled Darcy, “but perhaps he is simply trying to stave off loneliness. And besides, would it be so bad if he did fall in love with this neighbour of his? Or if he were to marry again?”

  Elizabeth nibbled on her bottom lip as she paused and considered Darcy’s question. “I just never imagined that he might wish to marry again,” she replied in a troubled tone. “It just seems strange to think of him being married to any other woman but my mother.”

  “He has a right to find happiness again, if that is how he feels about this woman,” responded Darcy gently.

  “I want him to be happy; of course I do,” declared Elizabeth. “It’s just that I don’t want him to get hurt. And I just can’t imagine accepting any other woman as a step-mother. I know it might have seemed that my mother and father were ill-suited for one another – what with my mother being rather flighty and emotional at times, and my father always being dry-witted and bookish – but they really did love one another.”

  “Yes, I know they did,” replied Darcy with a compassionate smile, as he moved to wrap his arm around her shoulders. “Your father has often spoken to me about your mother and it is entirely obvious that he was devoted to her. But, if it is the case that he likes this lady, and she likes him back, and if it is that your father wishes to secure a companion to take care of him and comfort him when all his daughters have left home, I don’t think we should begrudge him that happiness. Do you?”

  “No, of course not,” responded Elizabeth with a vehement shake of her head. “As long as she is a good woman, then of course I would wish to see my father happy again.”

  “Then perhaps we should consider a trip to Longbourn in the summer,” suggested Darcy, “so we can visit your family and see this mystery lady for ourselves.”

  “Yes, I should like that,” answered Elizabeth – and for the first time since they had begun their conversation, a smile spread once more across her face.

  *****

  Early May 1813

  So far, Darcy had had a productive morning; he had met with his land steward to discuss a new drainage project that he was planning, he had responded to all his correspondence, and he had written to Richard to ask him if he would like to visit them at Pemberley towards the end of the summer. In fact, he had cleared all the tasks that he had needed to complete, and so he felt that he would not be unduly missed when he and Elizabeth and Georgiana departed for Hertfordshire in a few days’ time. Tidying away his writing things, he decided he would walk out in search of Elizabeth. The weather was simply too fine to remain indoors for too long.

  Strangely, however, just as he came to such a resolution, there was a knock on his study door. He bid whoever it was to come in, and none other than Elizabeth herself walked through the door. He smiled, expecting her to greet him in her usual way, with a teasing comment or a piece of news, but instead, to his surprise, she looked quite ill-at-ease about something.

  “What is it, my love?” Darcy asked her with concern. And seeing that she looked rather pale, he quickly rose to his feet to usher her towards a nearby chair. Taking the chair besides her, he took her hand in his and again pressed her for information. “Will you tell me what is wrong?” he asked her.

  “Nothing is wrong,” Elizabeth answered, though the smile she sent him looked a little forced, to his mind. “I have just been speaking with Mrs Reynolds, that’s all.”

  “Well, I cannot imagine anything that she might have to say that would make you look so anxious,” replied Darcy in a perplexed tone. “She never mentions you to me except to sing your praises! Almost every day, it seems, she tells me how quickly you have learnt something, or else she tells me how you have brought a breath of fresh air to Pemberley. Really, sometimes she almost makes me feel jealous!”

  Oddly, for once Elizabeth did not smile at his joke. Instead, she looked down at their clasped hands. “We were talking together of setting up a distillery room,” she continued uneasily.

  “Oh?” asked Darcy, as he inwardly wondered where the conversation was leading.

  “Yes, it seems that Mrs Reynolds is rather skilled at making soaps and lotions and natural medicines, as well as diagnosing general ailments – and I’ve asked her to teach me a little of what she knows.”

  “Well, that shouldn’t be too difficult to set up,” responded Darcy, still feeling a little confused by Elizabeth’s request; “I’m sure we could find an empty store room where you could set up all your herbs and tools.”

  “Thank you,” Elizabeth smiled tremulously; “I should like to learn all I can. Indeed, I think it will be useful to know all I can about homemade medicines and cures – and especially if we are to have a child in the house.”

  Elizabeth paused and Darcy looked at her, feeling nonplussed. It was clear from her expression that she was trying to convey something to him, but for a long moment he had no idea at all of what she was getting at. Then he repeated her last words once again in his head; ‘especially if we are to have a child in the house,’ she had said. He wasn’t sure if he had understood her correctly, and so he looked at Elizabeth’s face with a growing feeling of astonishment to check that he had not misunderstood her words.

  “Yes,” she nodded, as her face suddenly lit up with a dazzling smile, “we are going to have a baby!”

  “A baby?” he repeated, feeling dazed and bewildered and excited all at the same time.

  “Yes,” she repeated with a grin; “I have just been talking to Mrs Reynolds about my symptoms and she has confirmed my suspicions. She thinks our baby will be born in early October.”

  “Your symptoms?” echoed Darcy falteringly. He was aware that he was beginning to sound rather foolish, but he hadn’t known until now that Elizabeth had even been experiencing any symptoms.

  Elizabeth blushed, and he knew then that she had been keeping certain details secret from him. “I’ve been sick on some mornings,” she admitted, “and I’m often exhausted.”

  “I thought that was simply because you’d been trying to do too much,” Darcy replied with a frown. He was beginning to feel that he had been a rather incompetent husband to have missed so much.

  “Well, I didn’t always tell you that I was going for a lie down in the afternoons,” Elizabeth confessed, “so you couldn’t have known how often I’ve been resting. And besides, you must have seen how ravenous I’ve been at meal
times!” she added with a self-depreciating laugh.

  “Yes, but I just imagined that you had a healthy appetite because you’d been so active all day,” Darcy replied faintly. “But how can you be sure? You don’t look pregnant,” he argued.

  He was aware that his words were beginning to sound like a protest of denial, but he was still reeling with shock and was completely mystified as to how he could have been so utterly oblivious.

  “Mrs Reynolds said that it’s normal for women to not show much in the early months when they’re having their first child,” Elizabeth explained. “She said it’s easier to tell with subsequent pregnancies.”

  “Subsequent pregnancies?” Darcy repeated faintly. It was still unfathomable to him that they were having a baby, let alone that they could have more than one!

  “Are you not pleased?” asked Elizabeth hesitantly, as she began to frown with concern.

  “Yes, yes, of course I am pleased!” Darcy hastened to assure her, as he squeezed her hand within his to impart reassurance.

  Lifting her hand to his lips, he placed a reverent kiss on her knuckles. “But I am just concerned about you,” he continued, “and rather angry at myself for being such a neglectful husband!”