Sorrow and Second Chances

by E Bradshaw

  For a long moment, Darcy had simply stood where he was and stared at her – and he was quite sure that he must have looked like a downright fool as he did. Nevertheless, he simply hadn’t been able to help it, for she had looked so utterly enchanting in her delicate lace-edged nightgown, with her hair brushed into long, dark curls down her back and with her bottom lip caught timorously between her teeth. Indeed, looking back now, Darcy was not sure how long he would have continued to stand there staring at her, had it not have been for Elizabeth. He had worried himself into knots over her possible anxieties, and about whether or not she would feel ready to share a bed with him, but in one decisive move she had solved the issue once and for all and put all his qualms to rest by running straight into his arms.

  It all seemed so ridiculous now as he thought back over it all (and indeed, he laughed softly to himself as he recollected his own foolishness), but at the time Darcy had been more relieved than he could say over Elizabeth’s apparent eagerness. With no further ado, he had swooped her up into his arms and carried her back into his room and straight to his bed – and he had not hesitated again for the rest of the night. Indeed, Elizabeth had not seemed shocked or unwilling to take part in anything he had initiated; in fact, she had matched him kiss for kiss, and touch for touch. His passion had been further ignited by her fire and enthusiasm, and it had not been long before they had both been stripped naked and were lying entwined and exhausted amongst the tousled bedsheets.

  It had been somewhat to Darcy’s chagrin that he had not been able to prolong their first session of lovemaking for longer than he had, but it had been next to impossible for him to rein himself back when Elizabeth had responded as she did to his every touch and caress. Besides, he had been waiting – and dreaming – of this moment for what had felt like an eternity, and he was only flesh and blood after all. Afterwards they had talked and laughed together over their earlier nervousness and reserve, and having gotten over their initial wave of apprehension, their second bout of lovemaking had been far more leisurely and much more thorough.

  A movement by his side caught Darcy’s attention, and he turned his head on the pillow to see that Elizabeth had awoken and was smiling sleepily at him.

  “What are you brooding so thoughtfully about?” she asked him in a teasing tone.

  “About you,” Darcy admitted with an answering smile, as he rolled onto his side and propped his head up on his arm so he could look at her. “I was wondering how you might feel this morning. That is, I was wondering if you are quite well?”

  “Not this again!” exclaimed Elizabeth with a playful huff of exasperation. “I told you last night that I am not a delicate china doll. I assure you that I am quite well; in fact, I am very happy – so you can take that worried frown off your face and just be happy!”

  “But are you not… well, a little sore?” Darcy persisted, feeling so mortified as he asked such a question that he could actually feel his cheeks reddening.

  “Perhaps a little,” Elizabeth admitted with a fierce blush of her own. “But I am not going to discuss such things with you if it leads you to look so utterly sheepish every time! My Aunt Gardiner explained much of what would happen on our wedding night, and how I might feel afterwards, and so I assure you, I am not suffering anything more extreme than the average bride no doubt feels on the morning after her wedding night!”

  “Very well, then I will let the matter drop,” replied Darcy with a great feeling of relief. “But only if you promise that you will you always be honest with me if I ask anything of you that you don’t feel comfortable with,” he persisted. “What I mean to say is that I would always wish for you to tell me if I were being too demanding.”

  “Very well, as long as you agree to do the same, dear husband,” replied Elizabeth with a cheeky grin.

  What could Darcy do in the face of such wilful mischievousness, except to laugh and to bid his new wife a good morning with a vigorous kiss?

  “Now,” asked Elizabeth a short while later, “is there anything for breakfast? I’m absolutely famished! I hardly ate anything last night and you, dear Fitzwilliam, have quite depleted my energy with all your bed sport!”

  “I’ll ring the bell and have a breakfast tray brought up,” Darcy replied. “I can’t have my wife accusing me of mistreatment, now can I!” he added sardonically.

  *****

  As would be expected of a newly married couple, Darcy and Elizabeth did not make it downstairs that day until the luncheon hour, though of course no remark was made upon the subject by any of the servants who greeted the two of them as they made their way downstairs. Nevertheless, the servants did notice the remarkable change which had overcome their master as they surreptitiously observed him showing his new wife around the various rooms of the house. They saw the contented look on his face and the endearing way that he always kept her close, sometimes with his hand resting upon her lower back and sometimes with his arm wrapped around her waist. Nor could they fail to observe the wide smiles that the master exchanged every so often with his wife, nor mistake the frequent laughter that was heard between the young couple as they walked around together.

  Downstairs in the kitchens, where the new mistress was discussed at length between them all, the maids cooed together over the flourishing romance, whilst the footmen made knowing remarks about the source of their master’s happiness. Even the most straight-laced and prim members of the staff were willing to acknowledge that there was definitely a new-found lightness to their master’s step as he showed the young mistress around her new home that afternoon. And though the more senior members of staff put a decided stop to some of the more unruly gossip, they were all agreed that the master’s happiness made a very pleasant change to the brooding moods which he had displayed earlier in the year. Consequently, although there was still so much to learn about the young woman who would now rule over their lives, the servants as a whole could not fail to approve of her when she had caused such a positive transformation in their previously-morose young master.

  *****

  As so often happens in times of happiness, the first fortnight of their marriage passed by in a blur. Though Darcy would have much preferred to always keep Elizabeth to himself, she had teasingly reminded him that she now had many responsibilities to learn as the new mistress, as well as social calls to receive and then return to some of her new acquaintances. Nevertheless, despite Darcy’s feelings of aggrievement at the little amounts of time when Elizabeth was necessarily occupied with other duties, they did spend the majority of their time in one another’s company. Whenever Darcy was occupied and Elizabeth was not, it had become her habit to sit quietly reading in a corner of his study whilst she waited for him to complete his business correspondence. And although Darcy found that he wasn’t quite as productive as he should have been (since his attention frequently strayed in Elizabeth’s direction whenever she was present), he came to enjoy her quiet companionship so much that he realised just how lonely he had been before.

  Though the weather was cold and wet that December, there was simply too much to do in London to always remain at home, and so they had visited various sights and galleries together, as well as attending the theatre one evening. Making use of their time in Town, Darcy had also taken Elizabeth around some of the more sophisticated London shops in order to equip her with some of the things that she might need to fulfil her new social role as the Mistress of Pemberley. And because the two of them had been spotted in various places and at the theatre, word had quickly got out amongst the fashionable set in London that Mr Darcy was now married and therefore no longer available to be pursued in the marriage market. Indeed, for his own part, Darcy was overwhelmingly relieved that he would no longer be at the centre of attention at each and every social occasion as a rich and eligible bachelor, and he knew that with Elizabeth on his arm, he would no longer have to struggle for the right things to say in conversation.

  In fact, Darcy hardly ever struggled to know what to say thes
e days. Now that their initial feelings of reserve and mutual embarrassment had passed, he and Elizabeth felt entirely at ease with one another. As a consequence, they talked and teased and laughed with one another all day long. In truth, Darcy was so blissfully happy that he could hardly recollect the pain that he had experienced before in the spring. Indeed, he hardly ever dwelt on those wretched times now. Elizabeth’s love and their happy, daily existence together had imbued him with a new sense of confidence and self-assurance that he hadn’t ever experienced before, and as a result he found himself viewing the world in general in a more positive light. Indeed, he was quite certain that Mr Bennet would laugh at him, were he to see what a love-struck fool he had become.

  Chapter 19

  One of the footmen brought their post to them as they sat eating their breakfast one morning. Finally, there was a letter from Mr Bennet for Elizabeth, and she laughed with fond exasperation at her father’s usual slowness in responding to correspondence. “It is so typical of him,” she groused, as she began to scan through the letter; “he always takes at least a week longer than everyone else to reply to letters!”

  “Well, what does he have to say?” Darcy asked. “I can’t imagine he’ll have written as many pages as your sisters do.”

  “No, there’s barely two and a half pages,” replied Elizabeth with a wry look, as she held up her letter so Darcy could see just how typically brief her father’s correspondence was.

  She continued to read through her father’s news and laughed to herself as she did at his usual quips and witty comments, before giving her husband the gist of his letter. “Papa writes that he hasn’t had the opportunity to notice that Jane and I have left home as yet, since Kitty and Lydia make so much noise between them that he could easily imagine that there is a horde of young women living in his house! He adds that he wants to adopt Georgiana, if you have no objection to the idea, since he can’t bear the idea of losing her sensible company; apparently, she’s very much of a stabilising influence in the house. He says he hasn’t had to listen to any of Mary’s sermons or poetry recitals since your sister arrived, and he isn’t quite sure how she finds the patience to put up with my sisters all day long and still be pleasant at dinnertime!”

  “It sounds like Georgiana’s become an integral part of the family,” smiled Darcy. “I wouldn’t be at all surprised if she’s somewhat reluctant to leave Longbourn when the time comes.”

  “No, I wouldn’t either,” agreed Elizabeth. “To be honest, I’m a little worried that Georgiana might find my company rather dull after experiencing life at home! My sisters can be very trying at times, and as my father says, they can be very loud sometimes – sometimes so loud that they can bring on a headache – but I still miss them all,” she added with a small sigh.

  Darcy did not miss the way that Elizabeth had spoken of Longbourn as home, nor could he mistake the note of longing in her voice as she spoke of her family, and though it was quite understandable that she would miss her childhood home and her family very much, he dearly wished that she would one day come to see Pemberley as her home. He understood that it had only been an unconscious slip of her tongue, and because their marriage was still in its fledgling stages she was still getting used to her new life, but he could not bear the idea that she might be made unhappy by the separation from her family and thus he was filled with an immediate wish to do all he could to make her happy. And although from a rational point of view she had only been separated from her family for a fortnight, and though he knew that Elizabeth had been away from her family for much longer periods of time in the past, he understood that the parting that marriage brought about must make the separation feel so much more absolute from a woman’s point of view.

  “Then why not invite them all here for the Christmas season?” Darcy suggested. To his great joy, he could see that he had hit upon an ideal solution to alleviate Elizabeth’s feeling of homesickness by the way that her face immediately lit up with a bright smile.

  “Do you mean it?” she asked excitedly.

  “Yes, of course I do!” Darcy laughed.

  “Oh, thank you!” she exclaimed, and immediately she jumped up from her seat to wrap her arms around Darcy. “You are the best husband in the world!” she added, as she planted an enthusiastic kiss on his cheek.

  “I shall have to suggest schemes like that more often if I am to receive rewards like this one!” Darcy responded humorously.

  “And are you sure you won’t mind?” Elizabeth queried. “My sisters can be quite boisterous at times, as you know, and the house will be very busy. Are you sure you weren’t looking forward to a quiet Christmas?”

  “No,” Darcy assured her, “I shall enjoy all the noise. At least, I will for a week,” he amended wryly, “and then I shall be very relieved that the celebrations are over, and it is time for all our guests to return home! But I will be glad to see you and Georgiana looking so happy, and it will be good to spend time with your father and Charles. I imagine we will be inviting Charles and Jane as well?”

  “Yes, of course,” Elizabeth agreed excitedly; “I shall write letters to Jane and my father straight away to invite them all.”

  “Perhaps you should finish your breakfast first,” suggested Darcy, as he indicated her unfinished plate with a wry look. “And while you do, why not tell me what else your father has told you in his letter?”

  “Oh, yes,” smiled Elizabeth a little sheepishly; “I had quite forgotten about breakfast in all my excitement.”

  She returned to her seat, and with a piece of toast in hand, she resumed her letter, whilst Darcy returned to reading the newspaper he had been perusing earlier.

  “Oh!” exclaimed Elizabeth a short while later. On seeing that she had her husband’s attention, she hastened to explain. “It is just that my father mentions Mrs McRoy quite frequently.”

  “Mrs McRoy?” Darcy asked. “Who is that?”

  “I don’t believe you were introduced to her at the time, but my Aunt Phillips invited her along to our wedding celebration. Apparently, my aunt and Mrs McRoy were old school friends, though they did not see a lot of one another after they were both married. She married a Scotsman and lived in Lanarkshire in Scotland for many years, but apparently, she was widowed several years ago and so she decided to move south once again to be closer to people she knew. I think my aunt took pity on her and invited her along to our wedding so that she might become reacquainted with some of her Meryton neighbours.”

  “And so, what did you think of her?” asked Darcy, as he inwardly wondered why such a mention of this lady would bother Elizabeth.

  “I only met her briefly,” Elizabeth replied hesitantly, “though she seemed to be a very genteel sort of lady.”

  “Then why would it bother you if your father mentions her in his letter?”

  “It is only that he seems very taken with her,” answered Elizabeth in a hesitant tone. “He writes that he met her again recently at a card party, and then he goes on to mention a book that she has lent to him.”

  “So, he has, in fact, only mentioned this lady twice,” remarked Darcy with an ironic look.

  “Yes, but that is a lot for my father!” Elizabeth defended. “He only mentioned you once in his letter and yet he approves of you a great deal! And yet, here is this unknown woman being mentioned twice! I hardly know what to make of it!”

  “Well,” answered Darcy reasonably, “you can ask your father all about it when he visits us. Though the poor man might end up wishing that he had stayed at home instead once you begin your questions,” he added with a wry smile.

  *****

  They sent their Christmas invites by express, and fortunately, despite the short notice, both the Bennet family and the newly married Bingley’s were available to join them for the Christmas season. Naturally, as a consequence, Elizabeth flew into a frenzy of activity as she set about organising everything – from the menus and the activities, through to the accommodation and decorations – in preparation fo
r the arrival of their guests. Darcy was simply glad to see her looking so happy in her busy occupation, and besides, he realised that such preparations were providing her with useful experience for when she would properly begin her new role as the Mistress of Pemberley. And as he had predicted, the house was full of noise as soon as all their guests arrived – though it was a joyful noise of teasing, shared laughter, and animated conversations.

  Though he didn’t often take an active part in the conversations, Darcy was nevertheless very content to see Elizabeth looking so animated in the company of her family. He was pleased, too, to observe how confident and carefree his sister appeared in the company of her new sisters, though after a while he decided to follow Mr Bennet to the peace and tranquillity of the library, just so he could escape all the chatter for a while. In contrast, true to his gregarious nature, Charles stayed with the ladies and enjoyed all their collected attention. With a house full of guests (and several of those being boisterous young women), they enjoyed a loud, exciting and merry Christmas season together. They played games of blind man’s bluff and other parlour games, and sang carols and danced until even Charles said he was exhausted and could take no more.

  Surrounded by such warmth and camaraderie, Darcy felt truly grateful that he and Georgiana had gained such a welcoming and affectionate family, and he was pleased for the opportunity to become more familiar with them. Nonetheless, when the time finally came for their guests to depart, he was more than glad of the peace and quiet after so much frenetic activity. And though he was sure that Georgiana missed her new sisters at times, Darcy was pleased to see her and Elizabeth growing closer in the weeks that followed. Before long they were all starting to feel rather constricted in London, and Elizabeth expressed a desire to be at Pemberley once again. She was a person who enjoyed the great outdoors, just as he was, and so as the first crocuses began peeping up from the ground in the parks in London, Darcy decided that it was high time to issue orders for their trunks to be packed and for the three of them to depart for the green lands of Derbyshire.