Falling for the Forbidden: 10 Full-Length Novels

by Jessica Hawkins

  “Not to be mean to my mom, but Dolly’s been there for me.” I glanced between the two of them. “She knew about you two.”

  They stared at me. “Oh?” Donovan asked.

  I shrugged. “I guess she’s known all along. She said you guys used to come in to the diner just for me.”

  “You didn’t know that?” Nix asked.

  “You really did?”

  “Kitty Kat.” That was all Donovan said, as if it had been obvious. For everyone but me, it seemed.

  “Wow. Okay, well.” I was flustered. The guys had stopped by the diner because they’d liked me. And I remember serving them, a lot. “Anyway, she knows we’re together. She could tell by just looking at me.”

  Nix ran a finger down the side of my neck, then winked. “We didn’t leave any hickeys.”

  I nibbled on my piece as I raised a hand to my neck. “Thanks for that, but I think she’s been expecting it. Waiting.”

  “Us, too,” Nix said.

  “She’s glad we finally got together.” They looked a little unsettled. “Why? I thought… I’m naked in bed with you. This isn’t together?”

  I freaked a little and the pizza in my mouth tasted like sawdust all of a sudden. I’d said the wrong thing. Assumed too much. I dropped what was left of the slice back into the box and moved to get up. God, I’d been so silly!

  Donovan gave my ass a swat and I spun about on my knees. “Kitty Kat, we’re together. After what we just did, you question it?”

  “I always question it.”

  He frowned. “Why? Haven’t we made ourselves clear on where we stand?”

  I gave a little shrug. “You just look a little uncomfortable or something.”

  “We’re not ready to share you yet, that’s all,” Donovan said.

  I believed that, but there was so much more baggage to the three of us than just us being together. There was the murder, which I wasn’t even going to bring up now. Then the same other stuff I’d been dwelling on. I thought I had my shit together, but definitely not. As for them?

  “Yes, but… look at you two. Big, mountain men. And then there’s me.”

  Donovan grabbed my wrist and tugged me over his lap as Nix pulled the pizza box out of the way.

  “What are you doing?” I asked, pressed into his sturdy thighs, looking over my shoulder at him.

  “Spanking you. Like I’ve been saying.”

  His hand landed on my upturned ass, not too hard, but enough to have me squeak and my butt to sting. “Donovan!”

  He did it again, then a third time. “Do you need more to know we’re in this with you?”

  I shook my head, my butt stinging. “No. No more spanking.”

  His hand nudged my thighs apart and he grinned. “Yeah, but you love it. So wet.”

  I pursed my lips. “That’s your cum. You guys have too much of it.”

  Donovan growled. “Nix, in the drawer.”

  Nix shifted to look in the bedside table. He pulled out a small package and grinned. He ripped it open swiftly, tossed the packaging on the floor and held up the item.

  A butt plug. Instantly, I clenched down thinking about that shiny metal object going inside me. There.

  Donovan grabbed it as Nix pulled out a small bottle of lube from the drawer.

  “Guys,” I said warily, trying to squirm off Donovan’s lap.

  “Don’t move, Kitty Kat. You liked it when Nix played with your ass earlier, so you’ll like this too.”

  I wasn’t so sure about that, and when he got it all slicked up and pressing against my back entrance, I gasped.

  Nix moved closer so he could play with my pussy as Donovan slowly worked the plug inside me. “I can feel all our cum in her.”

  It was too much. I was so sensitive after coming earlier. Those awakened nerve endings fired back to life, and I squirmed now for an entirely different reason.

  The plug slipped into place with a silent pop and I begged. Yes, begged. I was so close to coming and both of them were touching me. How did they know how to work my body so easily, giving me incredible pleasure? A finger brushed my clit as the plug was bumped.

  I came, clenching down on the hard plug and the insistent finger. Sweat bloomed on my skin and I felt wantonly… incredible.

  Their hands moved away when the feelings subsided. I was a panting, clenching, sweaty mess. Again.

  Donovan picked me up and set me back between them so fast, my breasts bounced, the plug shifted deep inside me. He growled.

  “What?” I asked.

  His gaze was dark, intense. “Seeing that plug stretch you open, knowing our cum’s in you, filling you up, coming out…”

  Nix shifted on the bed. “Finish your pizza. You’re going to need your strength.”

  It was my turn to squirm because the plug was keeping me really aroused. They wanted me, again, and god, I wanted them. I reached for my piece and took another bite. I wanted the orgasms I knew they’d give me, but I also wanted to talk. “You’re worried that Dolly knows about us,” I said, circling back to their earlier unease.

  Donovan went to the bathroom and I heard the sink come on. When he returned, he grabbed his glass of water from the bedside table, took a drink. “Do you know how long we’ve wanted to be with you? Fantasized fucking you, putting a plug in your ass? Hell, fucking your ass and pussy at the same time?”

  “I…” I had to assume as long as I wanted them.

  Donovan’s pale gaze held mine. “But the murder investigation is a problem.”

  All pleasure evaporated. Oh yeah. The murder. “Because I’m a suspect,” I replied.

  “Because if anyone finds out we’re together, the case could be compromised.” Nix went to the bathroom, washed his hands.

  “Then why are we here like this?”

  Nix came back out, grinned. “I could remind you, but the cum coating your thighs is doing the job.”

  “Don’t forget that gorgeous ass with the plug deep inside,” Donovan added.

  “Guys,” I moaned.

  “We want you. Want to marry you, and we don’t want Erin’s murder to get in the way of that.”

  The pizza got stuck in my throat. I crawled over to Donovan’s glass and took a big swallow. “Marry?” I asked, finally.

  They both looked at me. Big, brawny, their chests bare, washboard abs on display.

  “You’re not a one-night stand, Kitty Kat.”

  Since it had already been two nights, I didn’t think so. But marriage?

  “You mean it?”

  Donovan’s brow winged up and he patted his lap. “Do you need a spanking again to believe us? Maybe a bigger plug?”

  ***

  Maybe a Monday night was quiet and that was why no one bothered me on my shift at the diner. But Tuesday’s lunch crowd was brutal. Not because it was busy. Even though it had been over a year since I’d waitressed, I was used to it. What I wasn’t used to were the whispers behind my back.

  She’s the roommate.

  How could she have slept through a murder?

  Maybe she takes after her crazy mother.

  The buzz in the restaurant wasn’t from the caffeine in the coffee. It was about me. The other waitresses weren’t thrilled I’d been back a day and everyone wanted to sit in my section.

  Not because I was an exceptional server, but they wanted to look me over. Ask me outright, then leave shitty tips.

  “Who do you think killed Erin Mills?” a long-haul trucker asked me.

  I topped off his coffee and pasted on a big smile. “I’m just your waitress, not the police.”

  A group of women who appeared to have just left a church Bible study, looked down their noses at me, even though they were sitting down. An older lady in the group took it upon herself to be their spokesperson. “Young lady, someone like you shouldn’t be reaching.” She glanced around to see her friends nodding and continued. “God gives us what we can handle, and it seems working here is all you can handle.”

  I didn’t refill
their iced teas or carry off their finished plates. I just spun on my sneakered heel and stopped by Dolly. “Table six is all yours.”

  She glanced that way, made a humph sound, then nodded.

  All the customers were doing was validating my weaknesses. Maybe it was because I was tired, not from being kept up late into the night by two men with strong sexual appetites, but from the two nightmares I’d had later on. They were the same thing: seeing Erin, feeling the blood, smelling the scent of it. I couldn’t escape it, not in my dreams or in reality.

  I had been a waitress since high school to make ends meet. I still was. There was nothing wrong with it. Nothing. But while Dolly had been the mother I barely had and the diner was like a second home, I’d wanted to branch out. I wanted to be an event planner. Had for a long time. The idea of organizing a party or something fun and special… something meaningful made me feel good. Perhaps it was because I’d grown up in a house that was a complete disaster. I’d never had birthday parties or anything like that, but wanted to see others have pretty invitations and party favors and cute finger foods.

  I’d even put that bee in Erin’s bonnet back in the day, that it would be fun… and pay the bills. She’d had the money to back the idea, and since she liked to party, it was a good fit for her.

  And now, with Erin gone, her business along with her, I didn’t have the capital to start a company of my own. With having to support my mom, it was even harder to get ahead. But extra shifts at the diner would help. I’d get the cash I needed to get back on my feet.

  That was a goal that seemed pretty damned hard to obtain. That wasn’t what my problem was. Something bigger, something worse, because there was no happy ending. The flare of hope I’d had for the past two days was being snuffed out. All the whispering and comments reinforced every doubt I had about being with Nix and Donovan. Oh, they told me, showed me, and even spanked me to let me know that they wanted it all with me. They’d even mentioned marriage, which was insane.

  I really wanted that.

  But they were thinking with their dicks. Good sex made brain cells fry. I could relate. Perhaps that was why I’d stayed with them for two nights. Listened to their vows of a long-term relationship.

  It wasn’t going to work out. It couldn’t. I would only bring them down. How could I not? Nix was a detective on the fucking case. If anyone found out he was sleeping with a suspect…

  And Donovan, when the killer was found, the entire case could be blown because of either witness tampering or conflict of interest. I wasn’t a lawyer, but even I knew it wasn’t right.

  They’d both lose their jobs. Their careers. Cutthroat was a small town in the middle of Montana. They weren’t going to find another police department for at least fifty miles or more. And the nearest DA’s office was probably in Helena.

  I considered all of that as I worked, as I listened to the gossip, deflected the most piercing of questions. My heart ached, because I’d almost gotten over the idea of Nix and Donovan being in love with each other. When that had been cleared up, I’d had hope that it could actually work between us.

  Hope. Fuck, that could destroy anyone. And all that I had for the three of us to be together was crumbling.

  I loved them. I loved them enough to let them go because I only wanted what was best for them. Obviously, it wasn’t me.

  The lunch rush had tapered off when the mayor came in, took the corner booth in my section. I knew him because it was a small town and he was involved in the community, but also because he was Donovan’s dad. We’d just never been face-to-face before. Until now.

  I set the menu on the table in front of him. “Hi there. Can I get you a drink while you look over the menu?”

  Anthony Nash looked up at me and gave me his signature smile. He and Donovan looked so alike that it was easy to picture what he would look like in thirty years. When Donovan smiled at me, I felt it clear to my toes. It was genuine. Warm. Hot.

  The mayor’s smile was fake, pasted on because it was what he did. He needed to be friends with everyone in town who could vote. He was good, I’d give him that, but perhaps it was because I had the real deal from his son that I could spot the difference.

  “I’ll have a slice of Dolly’s coconut cream pie and a cup of coffee.”

  I picked the menu back up and nodded. “You got it.”

  I returned with both a few minutes later.

  “Thank you, Kit.”

  I paused when he said my name.

  “Yes, I know who you are.”

  “That makes us even then,” I replied.

  He laughed then. “I can see why Donovan likes you.”

  I stilled. “Excuse me?”

  “There’s nothing wrong with having a little fun.” His gaze dropped from mine and raked over my body. Even though I was wearing a T-shirt and jeans, I felt naked. I took a step back. “Fucking two men. It’s always the quiet ones who are the wildcats.” He glanced up at me, that creepy smile back in place.

  “Maybe I underestimated you.” He looked me over again. “Fucking the detective and the prosecutor? Witness tampering. Possible evidence tampering. Conflict of interest. So many ways for you to get off scot free.”

  I should have turned and left, but it was as if my feet were bolted to the floor.

  “Nix is not my problem, but Donovan? He’s my boy. Scratch your itch with someone else.”

  His crass words were a direct hit to my already weakened emotions. But I wasn’t going to let him see that. No fucking way would I let him know he was wounding me. Destroying me.

  He was just like the Mr. and Mrs. Mills, making assumptions and protecting their children, as if I were going to destroy them. It was any wonder Erin, Shane and Donovan had turned out as well as they had.

  Before I could even think of a response, he continued.

  “Donovan’s going to be DA. He’s got all the backing he needs to be a success. But you? You’ll destroy him.” He leaned forward. “Do you want that? To ruin his chances at a career for a little dick?”

  I sucked in a breath at his words, finally getting myself together to step back again. “Enjoy… enjoy your pie.”

  I fled, went straight through the swinging doors into the kitchen. Leaned against the wall. God, I couldn’t stop shaking. The mayor knew about me with Nix and Donovan. Knew we’d been together the past two nights. If he knew, who else did? And the things he said. Did Nix and Donovan think I was with them so that I could get away with murder?

  “You all right, hon?” Dolly eyed me as she walked by with a box of creamers.

  “Can you handle table three for me?” I asked. No way was I getting near Mr. Nash again.

  She frowned, looked me over. She hadn’t missed all the whispering and gossip. “Sure.”

  When she left me alone again, I remained to hold up the wall. It was over with Nix and Donovan. While Anthony Nash was a total asshole, he was right. I would bring Donovan down. Nix, too. I’d been thinking that all along, but had avoided it because I hadn’t wanted it to be true. I had nothing to do with Erin’s murder, but that didn’t matter. They didn’t know who did and that meant they had to follow the rules.

  Fucking me didn’t follow those rules.

  But now, with an enemy in the mayor, I didn’t stand a chance. I could ruin Donovan. And Nash.

  No, not could. Would.

  Tears filled my eyes and I wiped them away with the back of my hand. I couldn’t break down here. Everyone was watching me, assessing my guilt.

  I knew what I had to do. Pushing off the wall and getting back to work, I had no choice but to move forward. Alone.

  11

  NIX

  “Any word from the lab?” I asked Miranski as I walked by her desk. She’d just hung up her phone and glanced up after she scrawled something on her familiar notepad. Our desks were tucked in the back corner of the main police floor.

  For the past two hours, I’d been at Erin Mills’ house with the head of the crime scene team. She’d confir
med that they’d collected everything they needed and the house could be returned to the Mills family. Since all of Kit’s things were still in the guest bedroom, I left an officer there to ensure her things weren’t thrown out. After Keith Mills’ scene the day before in the lobby, I wouldn’t put it past him to fuck with her.

  “They’ll have everything for us at two,” she said. “Nix.”

  I stopped and turned to face her. “This was dropped off for you.”

  She held up a white envelope. I took it from her and saw my name written in neat handwriting on the front. “Thanks. Can you get in touch with Kit Lancaster and tell her she can get her things out of the Mills’ house?”

  I could have called her myself about this since it was police business, but I didn’t dare. I wanted to hear her voice, which made me completely pussy whipped. I didn’t dare, though.

  “Sure.”

  I went to my desk, sat down and ripped open the envelope. I popped right back up when I read the note.

  I’m sorry, Nix. It’s not going to work out between the three of us. I know you said forever, but two days is all we get. Don’t try to change my mind. It will only make things worse for you and Donovan.

  Kit

  “Hey, where are you going?” Miranski asked as I strode by.

  “DA’s office,” I said.

  “Don’t forget the lab at two,” she called as I cut through the other desks. I raised my hand in acknowledgement, but my mind wasn’t on the case. It was on Kit, on what she wrote.

  I didn’t believe a word of it. She was in with us. All the way. I’d seen her when I said we wanted to marry her. Surprise, definitely. But she’d also been happy about it. She wanted forever. From what I’d heard of Erin Mills, the info Miranski had collected, she’d worked through quite a number of men in Cutthroat. I didn’t really give a shit if she had a different guy in her bed every night. A woman could do whatever the fuck she wanted. But Kit wasn’t like that.

  She wasn’t a one-night stand woman. She wanted forever. Hell, she’d wanted it with us and have even left town to let Donovan and I be together. As I tugged open the door on my SUV, I rolled my eyes. Me and Donovan in love. I dialed his number on my cell.