Falling for the Forbidden: 10 Full-Length Novels

by Jessica Hawkins

  “Where are you?” I asked.

  “Office,” he replied.

  “Meet me out front in five minutes.”

  I hung up, turned the key in the ignition.

  We weren’t in love with each other, we were in love with Kit.

  And now she was dumping us.

  I drove to the city building and pulled up at the curb. Donovan climbed in. He had on a tie, which meant he had to be in court. He looked at me, knowing something was up.

  I handed him the note. He scanned it. Cursed.

  His eyes met mine. “She’s protecting us.”

  “The murder investigation,” I said, as answer.

  He nodded. “Has she been cleared yet?”

  “Miranski confirmed she got a lottery ticket at the convenience story at eleven ten. It fits with Kit’s statement that she got home—back to Erin Mills’ house—around eleven thirty. That means Erin was still alive then.”

  “No time of death yet?”

  “The coroner only offered a four-hour window. After midnight.”

  “Fuck.”

  “The killer’s going to be found and this will all blow over.”

  “Except we’re the prosecutor and detective for the case. Our asses are on the line.”

  “I’m not letting this get in the way of making her ours,” I said. “We’ve waited long enough. She had nothing to do with it.”

  He ran a hand down his face. “I know it. You know it. But there’s no evidence to prove it.”

  “Yet.”

  “Yet,” he repeated.

  I slapped my hand on the steering wheel. “Why the fuck can’t we have the woman we want? Why can’t it be fucking simple?”

  He didn’t reply. “Let’s go talk to her.”

  Now he was talking.

  I put the SUV in gear and headed toward the diner. I had to assume she was working. “Being with us, she’s going to learn that we protect her.”

  ***

  KIT

  I knew they wouldn’t let it go. Knew the note wouldn’t have given them the answers they needed. There weren’t any answers, none that any of us wanted to hear. None that would let us work out.

  I couldn’t let them lose everything. I knew what it was like, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. I wasn’t worth it.

  When I saw the SUV pull into the parking lot—thank god I’d been doing a pass for coffee refills—I practically ran back to the coffee machine and set the pot down. Dolly came out of the kitchen and I walked right up to her, blocked her path toward the pie case.

  “You have to cover for me.”

  She frowned. “What?”

  I glanced over my shoulder, saw Nix and Donovan headed toward the entrance. God, they looked good. Big, brawny, serious. And pissed.

  Her gaze flicked behind me.

  “I broke up with them.” She knew who.

  “What? Why?”

  The answer would take much longer than the twenty seconds before they came into the diner.

  I grabbed her hand, squeezed it. “I’m not here. Please, Dolly.”

  I didn’t give her a chance to say no, just dashed behind the counter before they could see me and sat down on the floor, tucked my knees up.

  Dolly came over to me, then stared down at me as if I’d sprouted a second head.

  “Please,” I begged. I couldn’t face them or talk to them. It would be too hard to push them away, to do the right thing. The diner was the Grand Central Station of Cutthroat, and I wasn’t going to have my love life front and center for everyone to see. To talk about. They could talk about me all they wanted, to spread idle gossip about my involvement in Erin’s murder. I wouldn’t drag Nix and Donovan into it.

  That was the reason I’d left them in the first place.

  Perhaps she could sense how frantic I was because she turned and faced out into the restaurant. I could see her arms moving, probably wiping down the salt and pepper shakers to appear busy.

  “Gentlemen, you’re looking mighty handsome today.”

  They were there. Right there on the other side of the counter. I wanted to pop up and throw myself at them. Have them wrap their arms around me and hold me and tell me everything was going to be all right.

  “We’d like to talk with Kit.”

  I heard the deep tone of Nix’s voice and my nipples went hard.

  “She’s not here,” Dolly replied.

  “Her car’s in the lot.”

  Shit, it was.

  “She took the van to the mega store. We’re out of paper towels for the bathrooms.” Dolly was an impressive liar. “You’re not going to hurt my girl, are you?”

  What was she doing? My mouth fell open and I gave her ankle a whack.

  “That’s the last thing we want to do,” Donovan said.

  She must have been satisfied with that, because she switched topics. “Any updates on the murder?”

  “We can’t comment about an open case,” Nix said.

  “Why not? Everyone else is,” she countered, referring to the non-stop gossiping among the patrons. “Some people are saying Kit did it.”

  No one spoke for a moment. “Kit didn’t kill Erin Mills,” Nix told her. His voice was even deeper than usual.

  “You’ve cleared her then?”

  I held my breath.

  “Not yet. The other detective should have called her, let her know she can get her things from Erin’s house.”

  “I’ll be sure she knows.”

  “Make sure she stays somewhere safe tonight,” Donovan told her.

  “If you weren’t saying that because you’re worried about her, I’d call you out for sassing me, young man. She’ll stay with me and Clyde until she can find something.”

  “Thank you,” Donovan murmured.

  “You want to be with Kit, then clear her.” Dolly’s tone was one I knew well. It was her don’t fuck with me voice.

  “Yes, ma’am,” Donovan replied. “When you see Kit, tell her we stopped by.”

  “Will do.”

  Thirty seconds later, Dolly turned, set her hands on her hips and looked down at me. “What did you do to those two? They looked fit to be tied.”

  I assumed they were gone and pushed myself off the floor. “I broke up with them.”

  She pursed her lips, studied me. “You never could do anything the easy way.”

  That was for damned sure.

  “Those men love you.”

  My heart leapt at her words. Did they? They hadn’t said as much, but it had been two days. I knew how I felt, but them? I didn’t believe it. I couldn’t. It would hurt too much. I shook my head and she held up her hand.

  “They do. I know why you did it, why you pushed them away. I wish you could get what you want for once. And if it’s two sexy mountain men, then so be it.”

  I tried to smile, but it was hard. My heart walked out the door with Nix and Donovan. “Me, too, Dolly. Me, too.”

  12

  DONOVAN

  Two nights with Kit and I couldn’t sleep without her. My bed felt empty without her in it. I eased my hard dick in the shower with my hand, but it wasn’t the same as her hot pussy and my balls were still blue as fuck. I wanted her. Needed her.

  I glanced at my unmade bed, remembered what the three of us had done in it the other night.

  It wasn’t just the sex with her I craved, but her smile. Her softness that smoothed all of my rough edges. She was light where I was dark. I could sound like a fucking poet, but she was everything.

  She’d been all in, been right there with us in this relationship. We hadn’t lied, hadn’t played any games. Only two days together, but the thing between the three of us had been simmering for over a year. Longer than that even. What kid saw a girl across the school and wanted her forever?

  Me.

  Nix, too.

  It had taken for-fucking-ever to get to this point. When we’d told her we wanted to marry her, we’d meant it.

  This fucking case was ruining everything.
Sure, I sounded petty thinking about my love life when Erin Mills was on a slab in the morgue, but what Nix and I had with Kit had nothing to do with the case, with what happened to Erin.

  I put my empty coffee mug in the sink, turned off the kitchen light.

  Fuck, the case was ruining everything. The one line of Kit’s note, it will only make things worse for you and Donovan, told me all I needed to know.

  She was sacrificing herself for us. That wasn’t how this was going to work. No fucking way. Our girl didn’t get to decide shit like that all on her own. She didn’t get to decide what I did with my job, what Nix did with his. Yet, she had.

  I grabbed my keys and headed out of my apartment. Nix leaned against his SUV out front.

  “You look like you slept as well as I did,” I grumbled, walking up to him.

  His hair was a mess, as if he’d run his hands through it and dark circles were beneath his eyes. It went unsaid that while we’d spent two nights in bed with each other—naked—it had been because of Kit. For Kit. With Kit. I had no interest in Nix. I didn’t play for that team. We had a shared interest in our woman. Making her happy, keeping her happy. And since two dicks were in her playbook, we stripped down and gave her what she wanted.

  “You slept?” he asked, taking a sip of his to-go cup of coffee. “This isn’t going to work.”

  “What isn’t?” I practically growled. If he was going to agree with Kit, he was going to be sporting a black eye.

  He held up a hand. “Hear me out, fucker. She broke up with us to protect us.”

  “Yeah,” I said, waiting for something I didn’t know. I was surly as fuck and didn’t have time to wait for him to get his ass in gear.

  “We should be together, no matter what.”

  That, I agreed on.

  “But she’s trying to protect us,” I said. “Our jobs.”

  “Exactly. We’ve known all along that being with her while working the Erin Mills case was not a good idea.”

  “But we did it anyway,” I added. “Why should it tear us apart? It’s not fucking fair.”

  Nix smiled, let it fall away. “This isn’t kindergarten. I think Miranski has an idea about the three of us, but she hasn’t let on. If my boss found out through channels… he’d shit a brick.”

  I could imagine. “There’s epic conflict of interest on my part. Any case against Kit could be thrown out because of impartiality alone.”

  “Which is why we shouldn’t be together,” he replied.

  “Fuck that.”

  A couple walking by eyed me funny at my vehemence. I ran my hand over my head, stepped closer to Nix.

  “I’m resigning,” I said.

  He froze. “You’re serious.”

  I tucked my hands in my pant pockets. “Deadly.”

  “Good.”

  My eyebrows went up. “Not what I was expecting to hear.”

  “I called my boss. Told him I was in a relationship with Kit, a suspect, that it had been going on for a while and that wasn’t going to change.”

  “I thought you said he’d shit a brick when he found out.”

  “If he found out from someone besides me. Kit’s worth whatever he wanted to do to me. I don’t want to hide what we have.”

  “Holy shit. You got fired?”

  “He wanted to fire my ass. He wanted to suspend me. But he can’t. Not with the murder case.” He laughed, rubbed the back of his neck. “He put Miranski on the Mills case. I’m tackling all others. He’s not happy, but he’ll survive. It’s only been forty-eight hours since she was found. I handed over my notes. Miranski ran Kit’s questioning. It’s all recorded and legit. Keith Mills might have his panties in a twist, but it would only become an issue for your office… if she were actually under arrest for the crime.”

  I sighed, because that was never going to happen. “Which she won’t be.”

  “You’re quitting?” he asked, circling us back to my earlier announcement.

  “I’ve been my dad’s pawn in the DA’s office all along.”

  “You didn’t win cases because of your father.”

  “No, but I got the resume building cases because Daddy’s mayor. He has plans for me.”

  He studied me and I waited for him to connect the dots. “The mayor and his future DA. Nash and Nash.”

  “Exactly.”

  “You don’t want to be his right-hand man?” The words were laced with sarcasm. Nix knew Pops well, knew how slick he was.

  “I’ll start my own practice. He won’t be happy, but his happiness is not my concern.”

  “Kit’s is,” he replied, pushing off the side of his SUV.

  “That’s right. I have to run. Time to watch the shit hit the fan.”

  I couldn’t be happier.

  ***

  KIT

  I was going through the motions. I spent the night on Dolly’s couch. I’d slept on there before, back in high school when my mom had either been in one of her manic moods or in the hospital on psych eval. But I hadn’t ached for two men, nor had lusty thoughts about them that had me slipping my hands beneath my sleep shorts, still leaving me unfulfilled. I also hadn’t had nightmares of my friend being murdered.

  Between crying over what I couldn’t have and waking up afraid I was next on the murderer’s list, I’d barely slept.

  Thankfully, makeup covered most of the puffy eyes and dark circles. I didn’t have to think all too much working at the diner. Not that it was easy, but because, besides the one year I was in Billings, I’d been working there for a decade.

  Never ending black coffee didn’t hurt either. And while it offered the pick-me-up I needed, the lunch rush helped distract me.

  Where I’d been bothered by the whispers and gossip from patrons the day before, now, I barely heard it. If I did, I didn’t care. I’d discovered something that hurt worse than having people think I was a murderer. And that was saying a lot.

  Like something out of a romance movie, I’d thought maybe Nix or Donovan would return. Sweep me off my feet and carry me away to a happily ever after. I loved to see the perfect happy ending in the movie theater and read about them in books, but they didn’t happen in real life. Not for me.

  “How are you holding up?” Dolly asked.

  I shrugged as I closed out another ticket in the computer, tearing off the bill from the little printer.

  “Thought so. Listen, Wendy and Sally have been talking.”

  “About me?” I asked, glancing across the restaurant at the other two waitresses.

  One was taking an order and the other filling drinks at the soda machine.

  “Not like that,” Dolly scolded. “Wendy’s sister got engaged over the weekend and she wants you to plan a party for her.”

  “What?”

  “You are an event planner, aren’t you?” she quizzed.

  “Not anymore,” I replied.

  The ding from the bell went off. Silverware clattered, patrons chatted.

  “You still are,” she told me. “You didn’t lose your skills with Erin.”

  “Yes, but… but—”

  “But what?”

  But who would want to have a murder suspect plan your baby shower?

  Wendy came over, a very hopeful look on her pretty face. “Please say you’ll do it.” She’d been four years behind me in school, but she’d been working at Dolly’s for a few years and we’d been friendly.

  “You’re not worried?”

  She frowned. “Have you met my mother? She wants to play hostess on her back patio with streamers and her crock-pot full of barbecue mini hot dogs beside a seven-layer bean dip with the football game on the TV in the background.”

  I didn’t want to cringe and insult her mother, but yikes. “I can probably top that,” I said.

  She beamed. “You’ve saved my life. And my mother’s because my sister would have probably killed her. I’ll catch up with you about the details and a time to meet my sister.”

  A patron at one of her tables wa
ved her down and she left.

  “One event at a time, hon, and your company will take off. Just wait and see.”

  Dolly patted my arm and got back to work.

  My section for the shift was the lunch counter. Those who came in alone usually took a spot. I walked down the line handing out their bills and checking on beverage refills.

  Working my way back, I spotted Lucas Mills settling into a spot.

  Lucas.

  I hadn’t seen him in a long time, well before I left to go to Billings. We’d dated after high school. He’d been sweet. Kind. The first guy to actually like me. At nineteen, we’d been each other’s firsts. I’d been surprised when he’d told me he’d never been with anyone. He had those boy-next-door good looks with his fair hair and killer smile, and I’d expected him to have gotten lucky well before me.

  But he hadn’t and while it had been sweet… yup, that word again, it had been awkward. And it had hurt. I had no doubt he’d worked on his technique since that long-ago night. He was even more handsome than ever, and I didn’t doubt if he had a girlfriend.

  I’d loved him once. Or thought I had. Maybe it had been a first love kind of thing, more surprise and giddiness, fizzy desire and breathy need. But it hadn’t been deep. I could see that now.

  Nix and Donovan had showed me not only what real sex was like, but what real love felt like, too. It was wonderful. And awful.

  Lucas saw me and offered a smile. I made my way to him, realizing there was so much more than the counter between us. His sister had been murdered. I was one of the last people to see her alive. And I was a suspect. What was he doing here during such a terrible time for his family?

  “Kit.”

  “Lucas. It’s… I’m, god, I’m so sorry about Erin.”

  He gave me a sad smile. He and Erin looked so much alike. Fair, blue eyed. The same face shape even. Erin had been tall, but nowhere near the six-two of Lucas. He’d gone into the military—the reason why we didn’t stay together—and that had bulked him up. He’d been back in town for a few years, but he hadn’t lost a bit of the muscle.