Falling for the Forbidden: 10 Full-Length Novels

by Jessica Hawkins

  “Yeah, I know. She was excited for you to come back and work together.”

  A pang of sadness hit me. “It was good.”

  “We weren’t that close, she and I,” he admitted. “Not since I came back. She was… different.”

  I knew what he was talking about. While she hadn’t had tons of responsibility because of her money, she’d turned… reckless in the past few years. Lots of men. Partying. I hadn’t been able to keep up. I hadn’t wanted to. I knew Lucas, at least the younger version. I’d heard he’d been deployed to Afghanistan and had been injured. Had a rough go of it for a while before founding his non-profit. He’d been quiet and introverted before, but if he struggled with his deployment, he probably couldn’t keep up with Erin either.

  “It doesn’t make it easier,” I offered. “She was special to a lot of people.”

  It was true. Every word. I just didn’t know what else to say. I didn’t do it wasn’t going to work. His sister had been murdered. It wasn’t about me.

  “Can I get you a cup of coffee?” I asked, remembering why he was here.

  “Sure.”

  I turned and grabbed a cup and saucer and the fresh pot. I was pouring it when the entry door was flung open. “Lucas!”

  It was Keith Mills. Fuck.

  He stalked over to his son. “What are you doing here?”

  Lucas lifted his cup. “Having coffee.”

  “With her? Are you insane? She killed Erin!”

  You could hear a cracker snap in the restaurant. Everyone was staring.

  “Mr. Mills, I didn’t—”

  His gaze lifted to mine, filled with a hatred I’d never seen before. He looked as put together as ever with his pressed pants and golf shirt, but he had a wildness about him. I knew people who lost their children went out of their minds with grief. Some went a little crazy. But this? All of his grieving and frustration at Erin’s murder seemed directed solely on me.

  “I don’t want to hear it,” he shouted. “It’s lies, all of it. You’ve got people believing your sweet and innocent act, but I won’t.”

  Lucas slowly stood, put himself between me and his father as if the counter wasn’t enough.

  “She didn’t kill Erin,” Lucas said.

  Mr. Mills flashed his anger at Lucas. “You don’t know that!”

  “You don’t know she did it,” he replied calmly. His back was to me, but I could easily compare his calm stance to his father’s tense one. “If you did, you’d have told the police and they would have arrested her.”

  “She’s been a menace to our family for years.”

  Lucas shook his head. “She’s been a friend.”

  “Friend? You’re one to talk.” Mr. Mills pointed at him. “She had you panting all over her, had a tight grip on your balls until you went overseas.”

  “Yes, Dad. I had to go to war to get away from her ruthless clutches.”

  Mr. Mills wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “She’s a money grubbing—”

  “Don’t say it, Mills, or I’ll have you arrested for slander.” Detective Miranski stood behind Mr. Mills, hands on her hips. She was tall for a woman, but not as big as Keith Mills. But, if I had to put money on who’d win a fist fight, I’d back her. And the service pistol on her hip.

  “She—” Mr. Mills began.

  “She didn’t kill your daughter,” Miranski said, loud enough for everyone in the diner to clearly hear. She wasn’t from Cutthroat. She was close enough in age that I would have come across her often enough. Still, she knew how small towns worked, that the best way to get accurate information out was to spread it yourself, and the diner was the perfect place to do so. Because of his outburst, Keith Mills had given her the perfect opportunity.

  My eyes widened at her statement. She’d been by the books until now. Making such a statement meant—

  “You don’t know that!” he shouted.

  “Actually, I do. A man confessed to the murder. He’s in jail right now.”

  13

  DONOVAN

  “Donnie,” Pops said as he saw me.

  He was walking down the hall with a man and a woman, but excused himself to join me. I was leaning against the wall outside of his office. The city building had been built in the late 1800s. Made of brick, it had high ceilings, large windows and wood floors. It had been renovated about a decade ago to historical preservation standards, but also to become energy efficient. The only outward change to the place was the addition of an elevator back in the sixties.

  “You’re on the wrong floor.”

  “I came by to tell you something.”

  He looked at his watch. “I’ve got a few minutes.”

  “Thought I’d give you the courtesy of telling you before you heard it from someone else.”

  He arched a brow. “Oh?”

  “I quit.”

  His face went slack and he stepped closer. “You what?” he whispered.

  “I quit.”

  He looked both directions down the hall. “I heard you the first time. Why?”

  “As a thank you.”

  He frowned. “A thank you? What the fuck are you talking about?”

  Ah, the swear words. He was pissed. Like I gave a shit.

  “I figured you wouldn’t want the scandal of a prosecutor being in a relationship with a suspect, and when cleared, a witness in a murder trial.”

  His eyes flared, catching on quick enough. “I know you’re fucking Kit Lancaster, but—”

  “I am.” I wasn’t fifteen. While I didn’t kiss and tell, denying it wasn’t going to work here, especially when I knew my dad kept tabs on me, had people loyal to him even watching me, his own fucking son.

  “For fuck’s sake, there’s pussy everywhere in this town. You’re my son. You’re a Nash. We can get any woman we want.”

  I had no interest in reading into that statement or the women he slept with.

  “I want Kit.”

  “She can’t be worth chucking your career over?”

  I nodded. “She is. I love her and I’m going to marry her.”

  A vein popped out on his forehead.

  “Ethically, I would have to recuse myself from the Mills case. I can’t be impartial when it comes to her. She didn’t do it.”

  “You don’t know that.”

  “Yes, I do.”

  “You’re walking away from being DA.”

  “I’m walking away from being your puppet,” I countered.

  “Puppet? We’d be perfect together. Keeping the town safe.”

  “You want the power. I want justice.”

  He scoffed at that. Put his hands on his hips and paced in a circle. “What are you going to do now?”

  “I’ll put out a shingle.”

  “You’re making a huge mistake,” he replied.

  It was very obvious he wasn’t going to be coming to our wedding.

  Nix came down the hall at a fast clip, stopped in front of us. He nodded at Pops, then looked to me. “A man turned himself in and confessed to killing Erin Mills. Miranski and the chief questioned him. He did it.”

  Relief coursed through me. Kit was safe. She was no longer a suspect. That meant we could be together. “Then we can go get our girl.”

  Nix nodded. “That’s right.”

  “What are you talking about?” Pops asked.

  I looked to him, saw him differently for the first time. A weight had been lifted. Not because of the murderer being caught, but because I was no longer considering my dad in any of my decisions. I was excited about quitting. Cutthroat wasn’t a metropolis like New York, but I punched a clock, reported to a boss. And my boss reported to Pops.

  I was free of that shit now. I was free of the politics that came with the DA’s office, with my dad.

  “Oh, I forgot to tell you,” I told my dad. “You might have known about me and Kit, but Nix is fucking her, too. We’re both marrying her.”

  The look on Pops’ face was priceless.

  “Wh
at am I supposed to tell people?”

  I laughed, slapped him on the shoulder. “As mayor of a progressive, modern town, I’d say you’re thrilled your son’s found love and that Kittredge Lancaster is quite the woman if she’s captured the hearts of not one man, but two.”

  ***

  KIT

  After Detective Miranski left, escorting Mr. Mills to his car and ensuring he pulled out of the diner’s lot before leaving herself, I went into the storage room and cried.

  Cried for Erin, who’s end was because of some man who was now in custody. While Miranski blatantly shared that a man had been arrested for the crime, she hadn’t shared the why of it all. Why had he killed her? Who was the man and what was his relationship to Erin?

  It would all come out soon enough, but for now, I was relieved he was in jail. Relieved he hadn’t really been after me, although that was still just an assumption. I grieved for my friend, for what could have been.

  I also grieved for myself. For losing a friend. A job. For my mother who was still a hot mess, for what could have been with her if she wasn’t so consumed by her mental illness. By finding love with Nix and Donovan and losing it. For giving it up.

  For everything.

  I was back in Cutthroat where I belonged. I could avoid Mr. and Mrs. Mills. I’d done it for years. Perhaps he’d only find me a money grubber now and not a murderer on top of it. And yes, I’d totally corrupted Shane by stealing his virginity, but he wouldn’t see it that way. As for any other haters… they could fuck off.

  I had Dolly. Clyde. The other ladies at the diner who’d I’d been friendly with but broke ties when I moved away. I had my first job as an event planner. All on my own.

  It wasn’t much, but it was something. I didn’t need to go big, I just needed to keep moving forward.

  As for Nix and Donovan? Fuck, it was going to be really hard to see them walking down the street, at a restaurant, moving on and dating someone else. Marrying her.

  I swiped my tears away. I’d done the right thing. I had.

  But it hurt like a bitch.

  The storeroom door burst open. I jumped a foot.

  It was Nix and Donovan, side by side, completely blocking my way.

  “What… what are you doing here?”

  “Claiming our woman,” Donovan said.

  Claiming—

  “What?” I replied.

  Donovan stepped into the room, Nix following. He closed the door, leaned against it, arms crossed. “We’re here to get you back.”

  My heart was practically beating out of my chest. They wanted me. They came for me.

  “But the murderer—”

  “Is in jail. He confessed,” Nix said.

  “I know but why? How?” So many questions.

  “The guy’s name is Dennis Seaborn. Mid-thirties. They’d had a fling and she ended it for another guy. He was jealous. He describes the wedding, how he followed Erin home. When she didn’t take him back, he hit her with the trophy in anger.”

  “But I didn’t hear anything,” I replied, confused as how it was possible.

  Nix shrugged. “I don’t know the details. Miranski and the chief are on it. All I know is everything ties in with what forensics says. The time of death, all of it.”

  “Now there’s no excuse for you to push us away,” Donovan said.

  I shook my head. “No. God, please. Don’t. It’s too hard.”

  Donovan smiled, swiped a tear away with his thumb. “It’s easy, Kitty Kat. Just say yes.”

  I swallowed down a lump in my throat. “I can’t.”

  “Why not? You don’t want us anymore?”

  I shook my head, realized that was the wrong thing. “No, I do. It’s just—”

  “What, Kit?” Nix asked. He had on his cop face, hiding all of his emotions.

  I was an ugly crier, a total mess with splotchy cheeks, puffy eyes and a boogie nose.

  “I won’t let you risk so much for me.”

  Nix pushed off the door. “Donovan’s the one who likes to spank your ass, but my palm’s feeling twitchy. Since when do you decide what Donovan and I do about our jobs? Our feelings toward you?”

  “When you’d get fired!” I shouted. “You’ve worked so hard for what you’ve accomplished and I won’t have it taken away.”

  “Why? Because you have?”

  I tossed my hands up. “Yes!”

  “So you’ll take away even more—us?”

  I looked at the linoleum floor at my feet. “Yes.”

  “No,” Donovan snapped. “Do you love us, Kitty Kat?”

  I looked up at him, at his expressive eyes. I saw everything there. Heat, need, frustration. Love.

  “Yes,” I whispered.

  A smile spread across his face and his hand hooked behind my head, pulled me in for a kiss. God, his mouth felt so good against mine. Soft and warm, bold and wild.

  When he pulled back, my mind was fuzzy and my fingers were curled into the front of his shirt.

  “That’s all that matters,” he murmured, kissing my forehead. “Because I love you.”

  “And if he’d get out of the way, I’d show you how much I love you, too,” Nix added, bumping Donovan’s shoulder to make him move.

  I released my hold on Donovan and Nix swooped in, pulled me into his arms. Kissed me senseless.

  “We haven’t solved anything.”

  “I’d say loving each other is a pretty fucking good start,” Nix said.

  It was, but the same problems remained.

  “I quit my job.”

  I met Donovan’s gaze after I processed his words. “Why? Oh, Donovan, no.”

  “And I told my boss about us. I’m not on Erin’s case anymore.”

  “But the murderer is in jail. Miranski said so.”

  “He is,” Nix confirmed. “My quitting has nothing to do with the arrest.”

  I frowned.

  “I quit before the guy turned himself in,” Donovan said.

  “Again, why?” I asked.

  “Because you gave us up to protect us. It pissed us off to know you were protecting us from you.”

  I looked away. “I was,” I admitted.

  Nix practically growled, set his hands on my shoulders and made me look at him. “We. Protect. You.”

  “You made us realize what’s important. I don’t want to be a pawn for my dad any longer. So I walked away.”

  “I can be a meter maid if you’re by my side,” Nix added.

  The image made me smile.

  “There’s my girl,” Donovan murmured, cupping my cheek again. “We knew you were innocent. Now everyone else does, too.”

  “Won’t you miss your job?” I wondered.

  He shook his head. “I’ll start my own business. Know anyone who might be able to plan a grand opening celebration?”

  With that, my heart opened back up. The misery lifted like morning fog in the sunshine. I loved these men. They loved me.

  “We want everything, Kit,” Nix said. “No more sacrificing yourself. We’re in this together.”

  I nodded. “Together.”

  “Let’s go,” Donovan said, flinging the door open, taking my hand and leading me down the hallway to the back door.

  “Wait! I have to finish my shift.”

  He didn’t stop.

  “Dolly’s covering for you,” Nix said, following right behind. “And with what we plan to do with you, a storeroom’s not going to work.”

  14

  NIX

  “We’re going to need to buy a new house,” I said as I worked Kit’s diner T-shirt up and over her head.

  I was impressed we’d made it all the way to my house without pulling over and fucking her.

  I hadn’t been inside her in over a day. Way too long. I knew Donovan was just as desperate, but nothing loomed over us any longer. I hadn’t jerked off because I knew we’d get her back. It had only been a matter of time. And now my balls were full for her.

  “This house is too small for t
he three of us,” Donovan added. “My apartment’s too sterile. Too small.”

  As Donovan’s fingers worked on opening her jeans, she laughed and wiggled her hips to help him. “Your apartment is plenty big.”

  “Not for the four kids we want.”

  She froze.

  “Four kids? You want… four?”

  Donovan grinned. “Four.”

  She looked to me. “Works for me,” I replied.

  “Can we just, um, practice for now?”

  Donovan glanced at me.

  “Fuck yes, we can practice.”

  She grinned, pushed Donovan’s hands away. “Good. Get your clothes off. Hurry,” she said as she used her feet to push her jeans down and tug them off. With deft fingers, she stripped off her bra and panties.

  “Hurry,” she repeated when we stopped and stared at her gorgeous body. “I want your big dicks.”

  We hustled then, naked in a matter of seconds.

  Reaching out, she grabbed both of our dicks in her small hands, began to stroke them.

  “Oh fuck,” Donovan said, grabbing her wrist and making her let go. “I’m too worked up and I want my cum in you, not on you.”

  She looked up at both of us through those dark lashes.

  I groaned when she released me too—not before she gave me one long, perfect stroke with her snug grip—and moved up the bed. Fuck me, she crawled on her hands and knees so we could watch her perfect tits sway and then see her upturned ass and wet pussy.

  I snagged her hip before she could get far, leaned forward and licked her. I missed her flavor, that sweet honey.

  “Nix!” she cried and I reveled in that sound. I’d hear that for the rest of my life.

  ***

  KIT

  Oh. My. God. Nix’s mouth on my pussy was incredible, his tongue was magical. I’d been wet for them ever since they said the word love back in the storeroom. Hell, I’d been wet for them for years. But now, nothing stood in the way of us being together.

  The murderer was behind bars. Donovan had quit because of me. Nix probably got demoted. They were adamant about the change. And they’d done it before the guy had confessed, meaning they hadn’t done it because of the case, but because they’d compromised. For me.